Christmas Is About Opening Your Heart, Not Your Wallet

Posted December 21, 2010 By David Irvine
I heard a great quote this week on a movie trailer: “I don’t like Christmas, but I like getting presents.” This could be said about me. Every year I say to myself, “I don’t like all the materialism that comes with Christmas… Santa is a myth perpetrated by the consumer marketplace to get people spending in the fourth quarter!”
But then I stopped to examine what was really going on. If I were truly honest with myself, this righteous attitude was an excuse to let my wife do all the shopping. After all, “I’m busy at work, earning money so we can afford presents. I’m doing more important things than hanging around crowed malls full of materialistic shoppers.”
But something in me woke up this year. I started to realize how I have not only abdicated my responsibility for shopping, but in the process, kept my heart closed.
Even though I procrastinated my shopping, this week I am actually getting into the stores, but more importantly I am getting into my heart. And it’s been good for me to tune in to the people I care most about and ask, “How can the most important people in my  life feel loved right now?” It’s a question that needs answering all year round, but this time of year awakens us to the importance of the question. In the words of Charles Dickens,“I have always thought of Christmas as a good time, a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time. It’s the only time in the long calendar of the year when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely and to think of people around them as fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.”
Bringing this attitude into the season has opened me to love and gratefully connected me to my soul, to my fellow travelers on this human experience, and to the spirit of life that goes well beyond the meaningless purchasing of presents under the pressure of another to-do list.
And then, I had a conversation with a friend this morning who just returned from visiting his dying sister. He talked of the unsung heroes in our world, not the philanthropic executives who donate money to charity this time of year to make a public appearance of benevolence. The real heroes are people who serve and give to their communities every day of the year without any expectation of personal or public recognition. An example are dying patients who, in the midst of their own suffering, comfort a fellow patient lying in a bed next to them.
Christmas brings to our attention our life-giving need to love and realize our connection to each other. It truly is about the heart, not the wallet (even though the wallet is be a good place to start if there’s money there).
What is your experience of love, both now and after the glow of the season is extinguished?
Categories: Leadership and Culture
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Holidays, Rest, and Renewal

Posted December 18, 2010 By David Irvine

A coaching session with an executive earlier this week reminded me that this time of year is so hectic: social obligations, family commitments, shopping malls, company parties. Is it really meant to be so crazy? Our family has made it a habit to stop, reflect, and design the holidays in a way that is right for us. Life – and time – is getting too precious to spend it on obligations that are not in alignment with our deepest values. I’ve lived enough of my life under other people’s conditions, and am learning to be true to myself.

For me, the season is about four things: 1) Rest – from a very busy fall; 2) Relationships – with people that matter the most to me; 3) Reflection – an inventory of 2010 and goal setting for 2011; 4) Renewal – time to do what we love to do: playing games as a family, spending time outdoors, catching up on some reading, being still, and just hanging out. I have learned that one of the keys to a full life is to say “no” to the wrong opportunities. No better time to test and practice this than during the holiday season. Learning this is still a work in progress.

I feel enormous gratitude for my blessed life. I hope you will take time to design this holiday in a way that is true to you, and I wish you and your loved ones the greatest blessing of all: inner peace.

Categories: Leadership and Culture
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Leadership, Feminine Power, Love, and Christmas

Posted December 23, 2009 By David Irvine

I’ve been away the past few weeks, and just realized that my last entry was a reaction to the Tiger Woods state-of-affairs, so I thought it would be better to leave something more thought-provoking to reflect on over the holidays. Last night we saw the movie, BLINDSIDE. It was a wonderful story that beautifully illustrated  the transformative power of the feminine. This is story about an intuitive, compassionate, persistent mother who completely altered the life of a young boy from the ghetto. The mother, played by Sandra Bullock, did what his male coaches and teachers couldn’t. If you are committed to influence others in ways that meet the changing landscape of today’s world, observe the way this mother transformed a life. I teach leaders across this country that leadership is is largely a matter of love. Leadership involves caring about people, not manipulating them. The mother in this movie reminded us that no plant ever grew faster because a gardener demanded or threatened it to do so. Plants grow only when the conditions are right and they receive proper care. Creating the best environment for plants and for people requires continual attention and investment. It is the feminine energy in all of us that bring us back to this truth.

Since this is the season of love, there is an opportunity to attune to compassion and sensitivity – the natural “beingness” of our nature. May we all take a few moments over the holidays to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n and learn some something about the power of love, the power of intuition, the power of trust in the capacity of the human spirit. Women, and their capacity to feel and tune in to their surroundings can be a powerful inspiration. I once heard a four-year-old say, “love is what’s in the room with you when you stop opening presents and listen.”

May peace be with you all this holiday season as we develop and express our innate capacity to influence the world with greater love, compassion, acceptance, and trust.

Categories: Leadership and Culture
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