Leading Authentically With An Ego

Realities in recent times have demanded a new approach to leadership. I recently had a very stimulating dialogue with a group of CEO’s about the difference between the ego and the soul and what it all has to do with being an influential leader. In an age of spiritual awakening and consciousness, leaders driven by their ego will soon become obsolete.

The ego, that mental image of yourself formed from your personal and cultural conditioning, attempts to provide you with a sense of security, safety, and worth. Your ego demands recognition and wastes energy in resentment if it doesn’t get enough attention. But the ego, by it’s very nature, is empty. It’s like a hole inside of us that is in a continual state of dissatisfaction and restlessness, constantly pursuing “more” to fill itself up. To the ego, the present moment hardly exists. Only the past and future are important to the ego, for these are what it depends on for its survival. While the ego is essentially dysfunctional, there are times when it can be a positive, necessary force, such as when growing into adulthood or pursuing certain goals. Then the ego can be helpful, providing you can observe it and not get attached.

There also resides in each of us, to a lesser or greater degree, an authentic self, a soul, an essence of who we really are. Your soul doesn’t care about rejection, titles, possessions, successes, failures, or how scared you are. The soul cares only about expanding and expressing itself. It is your guide, and your true source of power. This inner source of strength comes from developing your capacity to delay gratification, learning to courageously face the demands of reality without escaping, developing the capability to see the long-term effects of actions, and achieving quietness of mind. Such cultivation requires a lifetime of dedicated personal work, guided by masters. A cultivated, integrated authentic self is, in today’s world, a leader’s greatest tool. Cultivation, or becoming more fully human, is the primary leadership issue of our time and lies at the core of our work.

Deciding to embark on this arduous journey called leadership requires a decision to go inside yourself and learn to discern the impulse of the ego from the voice of the soul. If a decision comes from the ego, you’ll never be satisfied. You’ll always want more. Authentic leaders channel their ego needs away from themselves and into the larger goal of building a great organization. It’s not that authentic leaders have no ego or self-interest. Indeed, they are incredibly ambitious—but their ambition is first and foremost for the greater good, not themselves.

I end this blog with a wonderful poem attributed to a Chinese sage, Wu Wei Wu:

Why are you so unhappy?

Because ninety-nine percent of what you think,

And everything you do,

Is for your self,

And there isn’t one.”

 

David Irvine, Speaker and Author

 

Some parting words to my daughter as she prepares for college

This past week my daughter, Hayley, and I hiked up to the Barrier Lake lookout tower in Kananaskis. A consummate teacher, I could not miss the opportunity, in this rare and precious time we had together, to pass along some parting wisdom, some seeds of possibility, as she prepares to leave home and start university. I’ll never know whether any of these seeds take root, but my greatest hope is that the way she sees me live my life will speak louder than the words I attempt to convey to her.

Learn the difference between a successful life and a meaningful life.

Success means to:

  • Define your own success on your terms, not what others tell you it should be;
  • Dream big;
  • Remember that the purpose of a dream is not to achieve it; the purpose of a dream is to inspire you to become the person it will take to achieve it.
  • Learn to handle money: spend less than you make; invest before you spend; start saving now; buy less than you can afford.
  • Remember the five laws of success: 1) Show up on time; 2) Keep your promises; 3) See all blame as a waste of time; 4) Be polite; 5) Give more than you get paid for.

Meaning means to:

  • Know what you value, and don’t lose your values on the path to success.
  • Not miss out on the experience of living while you are making a living.
  • Follow your heart, that part of you that lies beneath your impulses and need for approval, that won’t settle for less than you can become, that knows you are meant to be extraordinary and contribute to the world’s evolution.
  • Learn the true meaning of love and service to others – the true source of happiness.
  • Remember that all joy ultimately comes to you in the present moment; you’ll never find joy in the past or the future.
  • Keep alive the spirit of your youth: your sense of wonder, adventure, and love of life. Maintaining your youth as you grow into the wisdom of your age, is a work of art worth going for.

Hayley was a fan of Jack Layton. I think it’s appropriate to leave you with Jack’s final message to Canada before his death this week. Whether or not you agreed with his political policies, you simply couldn’t argue with his passion, his vision, and his love – for the citizens of this country and those who spend a lifetime serving. A great leader, he always made time for people.

“My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.”

David Irvine, Speaker and Author

Integrity is the essence of everything successful.

The title of this blog is a Buckminster (Bucky) Fuller quote.

Working with organizational cultures, the single-most common request we get is how to build more trust and respect in the workplace. It is our experience that this is achieved through personal accountability – the ability to be counted on – which is the basis for personal integrity. Personal integrity leads to self-respect, respect for others who demonstrate integrity, and ultimately a respectful workplace. So in our view, personal integrity is the essence of building a successful culture of trust and respect.

As an engineer and inventor, Bucky understood the importance of strength within a design. Engineers are accountable for designing structures capable of handling conditions up to a certain limit. In the engineering world, the margin between safety and disaster is known as “structural integrity.” Similarly, our success as accountable people depends on our personal structural integrity. As the engineers of our own existence, our choices affect not only our own lives but also the lives of the people who rely on us.

By standing behind our promises and assuming a position of accountability, we begin to design a life of personal structural integrity. With this as our foundation, our work and service in our families, organizations, and communities will be rock solid. However, just as you could never design and build a structure to handle any condition, personal structural integrity will always have its limits. Because it is not rigid, but instead strong and flexible, and adaptable to life’s changing circumstances, it can meet almost any test.

Integrity comes from the word “integer,” which means wholeness, integration, and completeness. Being integrated is a necessary condition for self-respect, and self-respect is the basis for creating a respectful environment. Integrity means having clear, explicit principles and doing what you say you’re going to do. It’s about being honest with yourself and others. Integrity is deeply personal and therefore deeply applicable to all areas of life.

Integrity has everything to do with your success as a leader. Leadership – the capacity to illicit the commitment of others, is about presence, not position. Now more than ever, power, purpose, and privilege no longer reside at the top of an organization. They potentially live at every level. Great leadership cannot be reduced to techniques or tools or titles. While you may promoted to being a boss, you don’t get promoted to being a leader. You have to earn the right to be called a leader. Great leadership comes from the identity and integrity of the leader. Authentic leadership is achieved through the power of presence, which comes from being an integrated human being, a person of integrity. Integrity is, indeed, the essence of everything successful.

David Irvine, Speaker and Author

 

With Trust Comes Responsibility

I was recently approached by a marketing company to purchase my data base – for a good price. I make a promise to everyone who trusts me with their email address that I will not use this data base for any purpose except to send them – at most – monthly e-articles and updates about my business. I have learned that with trust comes responsibility. Trust is like a delicate flower. It can take years to build and it can be destroyed with one decision.

Not many things in life are more valuable than the trust that people extend to you. When you are given trust, treat it with sacredness. Nothing, at the end of the day, is worth more than the strength of character that emerges from being trustworthy. It’s priceless.

David Irvine, Speaker and Author

Passion, Vision, and Persistence: Leadership And A Group Of Committed Mothers

“Although ski jumping was an official event in the very first Olympic Winter Games in 1924, women weren’t granted the right to compete at the highest level in the sport until last Wednesday – 87  years later. The International Olympic Committee’s decision to include women’s ski jumping in the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi, Russia, might not have come about without the persistence and hard work of four Calgary mothers who fought for their daughters to have an equal footing with men in the sport.” (Calgary Herald, April 10, 2011)

This decade-long fight against tradition is a great leadership story about passion, vision, persistence – and love. It’s also a story of integrity and fighting a principle that, in the words of the mothers, “just wasn’t right.”

The irony of this inspiring story is that all four young women whose mothers’ determination changed years of tradition have since moved on and will likely not be competing themselves. This story reminds me of an old Chinese proverb that says, in essence, “The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.”

Well done ladies. A leaders’ legacy. Many women will be jumping in the shade of your contribution for years to come.

David Irvine, Speaker and Author

The RCMP: A Culture Of Trust – Getting The Whole Story…

I just came back this week from working with a group of commissioned RCMP officers on the east coast. Some of the finest leaders you’ll find anywhere. While there are certainly areas that need work in the RCMP culture, it is a culture that is far from broken. When these guys put their lives on the line with each other and for the citizens of Canada, there is a level of trust, respect, and camaraderie between them that you won’t find in many organizations. They have rich values: Integrity, Honesty, Professionalism, Compassion, Respect, and Accountability – and work hard to get these values off the wall and into the hearts of their members. The culture of the RCMP is not in Ottawa. That’s only a very small part of the RCMP story. The real culture is in the detachments and the districts across the country. And, like any great organization, there are great commanding officers and bad ones.

Like any organization that is in the public eye, the challenge facing the RCMP is that we live in a “CNN” world, where thirty-second sound bites and headlines create a distortion of the whole picture. This age of technology creates a false impression of reality, where what’s “rare” is perceived as reality, and what’s reality is rare. You don’t know what is going on in Afghanistan by watching a thirty-second news report on the evening news. You learn what’s going on in Afghanistan by spending hours talking with a soldier who came home without his legs, or you spend time people who live and work there, committing their lives to rebuilding a shredded country.

You don’t know what’s going on in the RCMP by watching the sensationalism of a cell-block story in Kamloops or a YouTube video of a tragedy in the Vancouver airport. There is no denying that these events have taken place and the media serves a purpose in holding the organization to account for these catastrophes. There is an element of truth in all news stories. But let’s not forget that these “rarities” are but a small fraction of the reality of the RCMP. If you want to really know what goes on in the RCMP, spend hours on ride-alongs and witness first hand the amazing work these men and women do everyday in this country. Or take the time to visit with staff commanders, corporals, and constables and get their picture of reality, and learn how hard they are working at the detachment level to develop leadership capacity and the development of a culture aligned with their values.

I have nothing but admiration for so many of the leaders I have met in the RCMP. In recent years, I have become associated with some of the men and women who helped organize and run the SwissAir crash recovery, who had to face the aftermath of their colleagues’ deaths in the bloodbath of Mayerthorpe, who organized the security at the Olympics, and who put their lives on the line in daily undercover operations and “routine” policing. We still have a world-class national police force of professionals, many of whom literally give up decades of their lives to make this a safer, more civil society for all of us. Before we pass judgment, let’s be sure we’re viewing the picture from a broad enough lens to give us an accurate representation of reality.

The Annual Review: Assess and Refocus

I took a couple of days between Christmas and New Years for my annual inventory of the past year and to clarify my key priorities for the coming year. I always get inspired and find it valuable to review my successes and mistakes of the past year, and then carefully and thoughtfully examine my priorities for the coming year.

In 2010, I will be writing a new book on organizational culture – an area that I am passionate about these days. I’ll be continuing to develop my strengths, deepening and renewing the material that I bring to the marketplace, and finding new ways to add value to my clients. A great idea from a little book I read over the holidays called “The 21 Indispensable Qualities of A Leader,” by John Maxwell, was to think about how you can add value to five people this year. They can be family members, colleagues, employees, or friends. Now that’s a good goal. Especially when they get surprised. I’ll also be continuing my Yoga practice and staying healthy. And I’ll be focusing on being a little more present each moment to the amazing blessings that surround me. I am loved and I can love. What else really matters?

Leadership, Character, and Structural Integrity

Some of the best conversations I have had have come after a presentation when sitting in a lounge debriefing and philosophizing with participants. Such was the case this past week, in a conversation with a project engineer, Steve Kay, who works for the City of Grande Prairie. I’ve always had great respect for engineers and the profession of engineering. They are probably the most trusted profession in the world, and no day goes by without us – knowingly or unknowingly – experiencing the trust we have put in an engineer. Every building you enter, every bridge you cross, every road you drive on has been designed and approved of by an engineer.

In my workshop we talked about the importance of strong character in your work as a leader. Just as engineers must ensure their designs satisfy given design criteria predicated on safety, so, too, must we all have a degree of structural integrity of self-respect and credibility to hold up to the demands that are placed upon us. In the context of structural integrity in our personal lives, I asked Steve what he had to say about strong character and personal integrity. Here’s what he had to say:

“I consider your  ‘character’ as how you truly are. Character will impact how much you accomplish in your life. Character determines whether or not you are worth knowing. Character will make, or break, every one of our relationships. Character is the will to do what is right, regardless of personal cost. It’s about doing what you say you’re going to do, when you say you’re going to do it….I feel obligated to the premise of public safety as the underlying decision making tool… That implies that I can’t take a break from it….I keep on track by looking at a sign I made up and hang in my office to remind me:   NO COMPLAINING!”

What are your thoughts about character, personal integrity as they relate leadership? I’d love to hear from you.