David Irvine » Personal Balance

What Is Enough?

David Irvine — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 19:41:38 +0000

I work with some amazing leaders who, in their own unique ways, are quietly and diligently making a tremendous impact on the world. And almost all of them are exhausted. Why is that? We could certainly blame it on technology and how accessible we are to the demands of others. We could probably all benefit from a refresher course in time management. We could all get clearer about our priorities. Certainly a decrease in resources in the organizations we work in could be a contributing factor. Maybe we just live in a more demanding time.

What I submit is that one of the core reasons that people are so tired today is that we have lost connection with the experience of “enough.”

• How much is enough service?

• How much is enough accomplishment?

• How much is enough money?

• How much is enough security?

• How much is enough success?

• How much is enough exercise or rest or food?

• How much is enough of anything?

In a world that demands that more is better, I think it is imperative that we grapple with these questions because the world’s standards of enough are not working. If you don’t have an inner experience of being enough, no amount of offering, success, money, or stuff in your life will ever make you feel satisfied, filled, or large enough. What is enough? If you do not know, within yourself, that you are enough, you will die of weariness, because there will always be more to do, more to have, and more to be.

Alternatively, when you know you are enough, beyond what the world tells you, then your giving, your achieving, your expanding and creating, comes from overflow, not emptiness, and the world will nourish you as you, in turn, nourish others with your presence.

My challenge for you is to ask:

• How do you come to know your worth away from your work?

• What does “enough” feel like to you?

• How do you know how much is enough?

• How do you know you are enough?

David Irvine, Author and Speaker

New Year’s Resolutions – or New Year’s Revolutions

David Irvine — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 22:14:13 +0000

It’s that time of year when people make all kinds of resolutions: lose weight, spend less, quit smoking, improve a relationship, etc. But so often these resolutions turn into clubs to hit ourselves with come February when we are already off track. Here are some suggestions for turning resolutions into revolutions: lasting change in your life.

Be honest with yourself. If you don’t really want or need change your life, relax. After all, you don’t have to make a new year’s resolution just because everyone else is. Either let go of this “resolution” thing or have some fun with it. If you are serious about making some changes in your life, read further.
Think carefully before you make a promise to yourself. The Law of Integrity means that making promises will affect your self-respect. Whether you make a promise to your banker, your son, or yourself, honoring or dishonoring that promise will have an impact on your self-worth. So… only make promises you know you will keep.
Take a careful inventory. Evaluate your intentions to change: Have you clearly identified what you want in your life and set a date when you expect to manifest it? Have you identified the obstacles you must overcome in order to manifest it? Have you identified the groups, people, organizations and what it is you need to know in order to get there? Have you written all this down? Have you clearly stated why the goals are important to you? (When your “why” gets stronger, the “how” gets easier; purpose is always stronger then the objective.)
Turn goals into habits. Get out your day-timer and schedule in the promises you have made to yourself and others. Change one small habit at a time. Success comes through small consistent habits, not big inconsistent splashes. The universe rewards action. And when it comes to New Year’s resolutions, it’s the tortoise who wins the race.
Stay focused. Write your goals down and carry them with you. Read them in the morning and in the evening before you go to bed. Visualize. Mediate on them.
Get support. You will never change your life alone. Ask for help. Get an accountability partner to hold you to your promises. Get involved with a support group. Find a coach or therapist to help you. Learn about the changes you want to make in your life. Study the art and science of success. I recommend two books: Deepak Chopra’s, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success; and Jack Canfield’s, The Success Principles.
Enjoy your life now. If you aren’t happy now, don’t expect it to get any better when you achieve your goals. Joy in life has to do with your relationship with the present moment. Fulfillment comes from enjoying the process of discovering and expressing yourself more fully in the service of others. What the future holds for you depends on your state of consciousness now. Relax. The universe is designed to help you out. The purpose of life is to grow and evolve your soul and find joy on the journey, so you can bring joy to others.

Christmas Is About Opening Your Heart, Not Your Wallet

David Irvine — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 17:47:19 +0000

I heard a great quote this week on a movie trailer: “I don’t like Christmas, but I like getting presents.” This could be said about me. Every year I say to myself, “I don’t like all the materialism that comes with Christmas… Santa is a myth perpetrated by the consumer marketplace to get people spending in the fourth quarter!”

But then I stopped to examine what was really going on. If I were truly honest with myself, this righteous attitude was an excuse to let my wife do all the shopping. After all, “I’m busy at work, earning money so we can afford presents. I’m doing more important things than hanging around crowed malls full of materialistic shoppers.”

But something in me woke up this year. I started to realize how I have not only abdicated my responsibility for shopping, but in the process, kept my heart closed.

Even though I procrastinated my shopping, this week I am actually getting into the stores, but more importantly I am getting into my heart. And it’s been good for me to tune in to the people I care most about and ask, “How can the most important people in my life feel loved right now?” It’s a question that needs answering all year round, but this time of year awakens us to the importance of the question. In the words of Charles Dickens,“I have always thought of Christmas as a good time, a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time. It’s the only time in the long calendar of the year when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely and to think of people around them as fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.”

Bringing this attitude into the season has opened me to love and gratefully connected me to my soul, to my fellow travelers on this human experience, and to the spirit of life that goes well beyond the meaningless purchasing of presents under the pressure of another to-do list.

And then, I had a conversation with a friend this morning who just returned from visiting his dying sister. He talked of the unsung heroes in our world, not the philanthropic executives who donate money to charity this time of year to make a public appearance of benevolence. The real heroes are people who serve and give to their communities every day of the year without any expectation of personal or public recognition. An example are dying patients who, in the midst of their own suffering, comfort a fellow patient lying in a bed next to them.

Christmas brings to our attention our life-giving need to love and realize our connection to each other. It truly is about the heart, not the wallet (even though the wallet is be a good place to start if there’s money there).

What is your experience of love, both now and after the glow of the season is extinguished?

Holidays, Rest, and Renewal

David Irvine — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 22:09:15 +0000

A coaching session with an executive earlier this week reminded me that this time of year is so hectic: social obligations, family commitments, shopping malls, company parties. Is it really meant to be so crazy? Our family has made it a habit to stop, reflect, and design the holidays in a way that is right for us. Life – and time – is getting too precious to spend it on obligations that are not in alignment with our deepest values. I’ve lived enough of my life under other people’s conditions, and am learning to be true to myself.

For me, the season is about four things: 1) Rest – from a very busy fall; 2) Relationships – with people that matter the most to me; 3) Reflection – an inventory of 2010 and goal setting for 2011; 4) Renewal – time to do what we love to do: playing games as a family, spending time outdoors, catching up on some reading, being still, and just hanging out. I have learned that one of the keys to a full life is to say “no” to the wrong opportunities. No better time to test and practice this than during the holiday season. Learning this is still a work in progress.

I feel enormous gratitude for my blessed life. I hope you will take time to design this holiday in a way that is true to you, and I wish you and your loved ones the greatest blessing of all: inner peace.

Leadership, Renewal, and Being Present

David Irvine — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 03:21:22 +0000

It’s been a good summer so far. Usually I spend my down time taking on new projects, marketing, or writing. I like keeping myself busy and productive. But I resisted that this summer, and gave myself permission for some unproductive time. For the entire month of July, I just hung out with my family, got caught up on some reading, made time for friends, and visited my grandson. No expectations. No agenda. I also took time to just be present to the experience of life. I made room to enjoy some of the simple things of life I often neglect in a hectic travel schedule. I sat and actually listened to the sound of the creek in our back yard. I watched the finches build a nest outside my office window. I took in BodyWorlds with my seventeen-year-old daughter and pondered the absolute wonderment of the human body. I cheered on my 14 year-old’s two soccer teams. I listened to the wind and the rain. I watched an eagle teach her youngly to fly. And I took time to listen to the sound of silence. I took time to just be.

I feel rejuvenated and ready to gear up for a busy fall, determined to bring a deeper sense of presence to my work. My three-year-old grandson’s sense of awe and innocence inspired me to observe the world through a new set of lenses, and engage in it as if I were experiencing it for the first time.

As living organisms, we all need time for renewal. There is no better way for me to renew myself than to be present in the present, for this is my source of inspiration and discovery. I am truly excited about bringing a renewed perspective to my work this fall. One aspect of leadership and organizational culture I’m curious about is how being fully present to the experience of life in each moment impacts the leadership experience.

What are you doing to renew yourself by bringing yourself more fully into the present? What is your practice to come back to yourself? Not just during your holiday times, but also in the busy times.

Finding Balance And Health In Your Culture: Wisdom From A Yogi

David Irvine — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 16:39:09 +0000

Did you ever have a bad day where everything seemed to go wrong? Although our tendency is to blame something in our external environment, it is the state of mind that you bring to your work or your life that determines whether the day is “bad” or “good”. You can train your nervous system to be depressed or angry or pessimistic, just as you can train yourself to be hopeful, loving, and optimistic. That is, you can teach yourself to let life get you down or choose to use whatever life sends you to find a lesson that will move you forward.

The same is true with cultures. Have you ever been in an environment that is not as productive as it could be or living up to it’s potential? How often have you been in an organization where you found that there is far more talent, brainpower, wisdom, and resourcefulness than the job required or even allowed? Just as people can be ruled by emotions, cultures can take on an emotive “state,” because cultures are made up of people.

Culture is essentially an interplay of energy and yoga, the practice of moving into stillness and focusing your energy, can be instructive in understanding organizational culture. According to yoga there are three basic qualities or energies: rajas, tamas and sattva. Rajas is the energy of action, change and movement, while Tamasic energy is associated with a state of inactivity and inertia, heaviness and darkness. Sattva is light and uplifting and indicates a state of harmony and balance.

In order to find balance, we must start on a journey towards sattva We do need rajas and tamas energy, but in their proper proportion and at their proper time. If we didn’t have rajas we would not have energy to move towards sattva. If we have only tamas, we become “lazy” and never get anything done. However, we all want more balance and harmony in our lives, both corporately and personally, so we must ingest more sattva both mentally and physically.

In Yoga, as in life, the greatest obstacle to our growth towards a state of sattva is the continuous fluctuations of our minds. The mind is always busy and it can flow in two directions – upwards towards sattva or downwards towards negativity. Patanjali, a great yoga sage from 200 BC gives a simple method for turning to sattva. He says when negative thoughts are encountered we must immediately replace them with the opposite positive. Simple, but not easy! This is a practice of the mind. It is hard work and takes practice!

This has many implications for corporate culture. We must not entertain negative thinking. Gossip, slanderous talk and negativity of any kind work to undermine a positive mental framework, and makes most of us ineffective and generally miserable. A first step, and something infinitely practical is to breathe. A simple practice of mindful, deep breathing can be performed in any office, anytime of the day, in any meeting, at any moment, and thankfully it can be instituted without scrutiny or negative consequence.

We all make a difference to the environments we live and work in. Having ways to connect with sattvic energy can be a way to positively impact those around you. A healthy, balanced culture starts with you.

Note: Thanks to Jeff Lichty, my Yoga teacher (www.ashtanga-yoga-victoria.com) for writing this article with me!

Leadership and Personal Balance

David Irvine — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:19:26 +0000

The great philosopher Yogi Berra said once that “you can learn a lot by observing.” Over the past 25 years working with leaders, I have observed that balanced leaders are better leaders. You don’t respect people that are always hurried, behind schedule, stressed, and harried. It’s not only a sign of strong character to be calm in the midst of pressure. It’s a indication of good leadership. I had a day this week with a great group of municipal government leaders. The topic: Leadership and Personal Balance. The group gave me some good insights into staying balanced in their highly demanding work environment.

Here’s a few things we came up with. Balance is not a destination; it’s a method of travel. You aren’t likely to “reach” balance. Instead, you bring balance with you. You aren’t always going to be balanced on the “outside.” For example, you don’t talk to farmers about balance in the midst of harvest, or to accountants in the middle of tax season. Sometimes you just have to roll up your sleeves and do what it takes to get the job done. As a leader, the skill is to have a process for staying calm on the inside. Being able to maintain perspective, holding on to an internal spiritual foundation during a crisis, and coming back to your authentic self on a daily basis are ways to maintaining this sense of balance, regardless of the demanding world that you live or work in. Living your life in accord with your values also helps you maintain this inner sense of balance.

I’d love to hear from you. What does balance mean to you in the context of leadership? What is your process for staying balanced in the chaotic world you live in?