David Irvine » Service http://davidirvine.com/blog The Leader's Navigator™ Sun, 13 May 2012 17:58:39 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 The Invisible Mother – And The Invisible Leader http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/05/the-invisible-mother-and-the-invisible-leader/ http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/05/the-invisible-mother-and-the-invisible-leader/#comments Sun, 13 May 2012 17:57:44 +0000 David Irvine http://davidirvine.com/blog/?p=1084 This story came to me from my good friend Don Campbell. My apologies for not knowing it’s source. It speaks to the work of mothers, and may we all celebrate the work of mothers today. Take a few minutes to appreciate you mother. But this story, in a larger way, speaks to the humility and egoless work of all great leaders at all levels and in all walks of life.

“It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’

Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! ‘Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?’

Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, ‘What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’

Some days I’m a crystal ball; ‘Where’s my other sock? Where’s my phone? What’s for dinner?’

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature –but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, she’s gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well.

It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you this.’ It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe.

I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.’

In the days ahead I would read — no, devour the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it ‘ And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does’.

‘No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last- minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.’

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand- bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he’d say, ‘You’re gonna love it there ….’”

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

David Irvine, Speaker and Author

 

 

]]> http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/05/the-invisible-mother-and-the-invisible-leader/feed/ 0 My St. Amant Experience http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/04/my-st-amant-experience/ http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/04/my-st-amant-experience/#comments Tue, 01 May 2012 04:47:19 +0000 David Irvine http://davidirvine.com/blog/?p=1074 Last week I was in Winnipeg working with some wonderful leaders and front-line professionals who have dedicated their lives to work with people with disabilities. The conference was sponsored by St. Amant, a not-for-profit organization that offers a wide range of programs and services to support individuals and their families in Manitoba with developmental disabilities and autism. I am a better person for having spent two days with these inspiring, caring, and dedicated people. Thank you St. Amant.

I was privileged to be there on the first day to hear the lunch speaker, Ian Brown, who shared his very moving and human journey of raising a son who was born with a disability. I liked Ian’s story. And I liked how he told it. He was real. He articulated beautifully the depth of his journey with eloquence and with a simple and magnificent expression of the English language. It is truly an authentic journey that inspired everyone who had the privilege of hearing Ian. I bought a copy of his book after he spoke and I would recommend it. It’s a beautiful story.

Here’s a review on the back cover by The Walrus:

“Given the current glut of smug daddy blogs and cutesy mommy memoirs, it’s bracing to read a story about parenthood in which there is something so extraordinary at stake.”

The name of the book: The Boy In The Moon: A Father’s Search For His Disabled Son, by Ian Brown, published by Vintage Canada, 2010

David Irvine, Author and Speaker

]]> http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/04/my-st-amant-experience/feed/ 0 What’s the difference between servant leadership vs. pleasing leadership? http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/04/whats-the-difference-between-servant-leadership-vs-pleasing-leadership/ http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/04/whats-the-difference-between-servant-leadership-vs-pleasing-leadership/#comments Sat, 14 Apr 2012 20:11:36 +0000 David Irvine http://davidirvine.com/blog/?p=1067 I see many leaders trying too hard to make their direct reports happy under the auspices of “servant leadership.” Entitlement is bred in this kind of culture, thinking that we are obligated to give our employees everything they ask for. It’s like parenting, trying to do too much for our children, trying taking away all their stress. This doesn’t lead to responsible kids and it doesn’t lead to accountable employees. And it creates burned out leaders.
The servant leader’s job is to identify and do all you can to meet the needs of their staff to ensure their success. This is servant leadership. Pleasing leadership attempts to meet all the wants of their people. Pleasing leaders become their employee’s slaves  -by allowing their employees/kids to do whatever they want. We all need an environment where standards are set and people are held accountable. We may not want this, but we need it. We don’t do anybody favors by running undisciplined homes or departments. Don’t settle for mediocrity. People need to be pushed to be all they can be. Again, this may not be what we want, but it’s what we need.
Another example: If you pay people what they want, you’ll be out of business and won’t be able to give them what they need: stable, long-term employment.
When politicians make their policy decisions based on the most recent Gallup poll, they are giving people what they want, but probably not what they need.
How do you distinguish between wants and needs?
A want is a wish without regard to long-term consequences.
A need is a legitimate requirement for one’s survival or success.
You have to know people (starting with yourself) very well to understand the difference.
Start by making a list of the needs of the people who depend on you. Make a list of what you need.
Thanks to Jim Hunter for your inspiration behind this blog. He wrote a good book called The Servant.
What’s your experience with the difference between serving and pleasing?
David Irvine, Author and Speaker
]]> http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/04/whats-the-difference-between-servant-leadership-vs-pleasing-leadership/feed/ 0 What is authentic success? It’s what the world doesn’t see. http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/03/what-is-authentic-success-it%e2%80%99s-what-the-world-doesn%e2%80%99t-see/ http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/03/what-is-authentic-success-it%e2%80%99s-what-the-world-doesn%e2%80%99t-see/#comments Mon, 12 Mar 2012 20:58:22 +0000 David Irvine http://davidirvine.com/blog/?p=1008 The past ten days have been both sad and reflective for me and for our family. Our dear friends and neighbors lost their twenty-five year old son to suicide on March 2nd, after his lengthy battle with mental illness. This family has been so very close to us over the past sixteen years, that it felt almost like losing one of our own children.

My last conversation with Curtis was this past New Year’s Eve at a family wedding. I knew he had been battling depression and how he was trying, ever so hard, to look brave. I remember asking him what he was proud of in his life. He shyly spoke of how he was trying to get back into university, get back to the music that he loved to play, and to start getting back into his friends (which he had been withdrawing from in the face of the darkness that engulfed him). During the course of our conversation, a friend who had graduated with Curtis came up and began speaking of his accomplishments in university, graduate school, and how he was already successfully running his own business.

As Curtis listened, you could see his eyes lower and feel his spirit withdraw as he compared his perceived “minor” achievements to those of his friend.

At the funeral, we heard about attributes of real success: a beautiful character and remarkable human being who had faced unimaginable obstacles. When the beauty of a person’s character is impressed upon you, it can change your life forever. It is life-giving to be around a person who exhibits qualities such as honesty, compassion, reverence, humility, courage, integrity, wisdom, or determination. What greater success could there be than the development of these qualities, the qualities of a person with strong character? These are sustaining qualities. This is true success. This was the success that Curtis achieved. This was the difference he made in the lives of every person who was fortunate enough to know him. While the world may not reward these qualities of character like it rewards fame or fortune, strong character is ultimately what matters in life.

May we each reflect upon and come to terms with real success: not meeting the world’s standards, but meeting the benchmark of the soul. Thank you, Curtis, for your life and for reminding me of what matters. Your life was a gift to me. I’m a better person for having known you.

David Irvine, Best-Selling Author and Speaker

]]> http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/03/what-is-authentic-success-it%e2%80%99s-what-the-world-doesn%e2%80%99t-see/feed/ 0 What Is Enough? http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/01/how-much-is-enough/ http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/01/how-much-is-enough/#comments Sun, 22 Jan 2012 19:41:38 +0000 David Irvine http://davidirvine.com/blog/?p=988 I work with some amazing leaders who, in their own unique ways, are quietly and diligently making a tremendous impact on the world. And almost all of them are exhausted. Why is that? We could certainly blame it on technology and how accessible we are to the demands of others. We could probably all benefit from a refresher course in time management. We could all get clearer about our priorities. Certainly a decrease in resources in the organizations we work in could be a contributing factor. Maybe we just live in a more demanding time.

What I submit is that one of the core reasons that people are so tired today is that we have lost connection with the experience of “enough.”

• How much is enough service?

• How much is enough accomplishment?

• How much is enough money?

• How much is enough security?

• How much is enough success?

• How much is enough exercise or rest or food?

• How much is enough of anything?

In a world that demands that  more is better, I think it is imperative that we grapple with these questions because  the world’s standards of enough are not working. If you don’t have an inner experience of being enough, no amount of offering, success, money, or stuff in your life will ever make you feel satisfied, filled, or large enough. What is enough? If you do not know, within yourself, that you are enough, you will die of weariness, because there will always be more to do, more to have, and more to be.

Alternatively, when you know you are enough, beyond what the world tells you, then your giving, your achieving, your expanding and creating, comes from overflow, not emptiness, and the world will nourish you as you, in turn, nourish others with your presence.

My challenge for you is to ask:

• How do you come to know your worth away from your work?

• What does “enough” feel like to you?

• How do you know how much is enough?

• How do you know you are enough?

David Irvine, Author and Speaker

]]> http://davidirvine.com/blog/2012/01/how-much-is-enough/feed/ 0 What are you dedicated to? http://davidirvine.com/blog/2011/12/where-is-your-dedication/ http://davidirvine.com/blog/2011/12/where-is-your-dedication/#comments Sat, 03 Dec 2011 01:45:59 +0000 David Irvine http://davidirvine.com/blog/?p=912 It’s been said that you can be world class at everything if you spend 10,000 hours practicing. That’s  3 hours a day for ten years, give or take a few days. What that means is that every person could be world class at something ten years from now. For some, it could be an olympic athlete. For others, a world class musician or artist. Some will be dedicated to their health or their wisdom, in order to remain a vital, contributing person as they age. Some will dedicate their lives to writing, speaking, or learning to communicate to impact others in a positive way. Others will be dedicated to a spiritual practice, community service, or  a cause beyond their own self-interest. Some are dedicating their time to parenting. And others will become world class complainers. Have you ever met a world class complainer? It’s a person who has spent three hours a day for the past ten years complaining. If you spend three hours a day watching television, you will be a world class television watcher, and if you watch the same shows during that time, it’s likely that no one else in the world will know more about those shows than you.

Years ago I memorized a quote written by the nineteenth century poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, whose words continue to inspire me: “The heights by great men [or women] reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.” I don’t think he was talking about distracting yourself by surfing the net at 3:00 am. He was talking about being dedicated to something.

The question is: What are you dedicated to? Where are you investing your time? What difference are you making in the world through this dedicated effort? Is what you are dedicated to inspiring you? Engaging you? Making a contribution to others? Do you have a vision that awakens you, that gets you up early or keeps you up late? What if you set a worthwhile ten-year vision to dedicate your life to? It’s never too late to consciously dedicate your life to a vision that inspires you. You are going to be ten years older in ten years anyway. Why not dedicate yourself to a worthy cause in the process? You can be interested in something, but that is different than being dedicated.

 

David Irvine, Author and Speaker

]]> http://davidirvine.com/blog/2011/12/where-is-your-dedication/feed/ 0 12 Keys To Leadership: You Do Know When It’s Real http://davidirvine.com/blog/2011/09/12-keys-to-leadership-you-do-know-when-its-real/ http://davidirvine.com/blog/2011/09/12-keys-to-leadership-you-do-know-when-its-real/#comments Mon, 26 Sep 2011 02:46:35 +0000 David Irvine http://davidirvine.com/blog/?p=844 Below are 12 key messages that underlie my fundamental philosophy of leadership. Most of these messages aren’t mine. I’ve borrowed them from many of the great leaders I’ve had the privilege of working with over the years:

1) Leadership is about inspiring and engaging people to work toward a compelling vision – by seeing the gifts and potential of others more clearly than they see it in themselves and being able to communicate it in their own unique way. Martin Luther King never said, “I  have a strategic plan.”

2) There are too many consultants and speakers telling organizations how to be leaders. Leadership is contextual. The best an outside consultant can do is help you decide what kind of leadership is needed in your organization to achieve your purpose and help you get there.

3) Leadership is about presence, not position. Great leadership cannot be reduced to technique or title. Great leadership comes from the identity and the integrity of the leader. Leadership is the way you live your life. Your power as a leader comes from being an integrated and real human being. This makes every person in your organization a potential leader.

4) You don’t get promoted to being a leader. You get promoted to being a boss but you don’t get promoted to being a leader. There’s a big difference between a boss and a leader. Holding a position of leadership is like having a driver’s license. Just because you have one doesn’t make you a good one.

5) You aren’t a leader until someone decides that you are. You have to earn the right to be a be called a leader, and you aren’t one until you have earned it in the eyes of others. In the words of Margaret Thatcher, “Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.”

6) As a leader –  whether it’s in the home, your community, or in your organization – you will continuously need to balance supports with demands. You don’t help people by pushing them when they need to be supported, nor do you help them by supporting them when they need to be pushed. You never get this balance perfect, but great leaders work at it – every day.

7) Great leaders achieve organizational goals. Authentic leaders help you find your voice in the process. Authentic leaders align the interests, values, and goals of the organization with the interests, values, and goals of the employee. This is employee engagement at its finest, and it’s what attracts, retains, and inspires greatness. Authenticity is about finding your voice and inspiring others to find theirs. Authentic leaders earn their credibility by being authentic. You know when it’s real.

8) Leadership is ultimately about service. Turn your organization chart upside down. Take care of your people so they can take care of the customer. Serving, however, is different than pleasing. Serving is about meeting people’s needs so they can get their job done. Pleasing is about meeting people’s wants. Serving breeds commitment. Pleasing breeds entitlement.

9) Your best leadership program will be over a cup of coffee. You’ll never be able to lead by sitting at your computer. Make building trust your number one leadership priority and spend a large portion of your time connecting with the people you serve. Find out what matters to others and do all you can to meet their needs. Listen relentlessly.

10) Leadership isn’t about you. It’s not about how great you are, how noble you are, or how profound you are. Leadership is about others and what you do to give credit to others. If you are going earn the credibility to influence others – long term – you better have a strong enough ego that you can leave it at the door. Credibility comes from giving credit, not taking it. People don’t remember what you said; they remember how you made them feel.

11) Leadership is largely a matter of love. If you aren’t comfortable with the word love, call it caring, because leadership involves caring about people, not manipulating them. If you don’t care about people or about your work or about why you get out of bed in the morning, you might consider doing yourself and your organization a favor and get out of the position of leadership.

12) If you want to improve your capacity to lead, put your focus on finding ways to enjoy leading more. While I’ve met a few incompetent leaders who actually enjoy leading, generally speaking, the best leaders I know enjoy what they do. Put your efforts in finding joy in your work as a leader, and you’ll be a better leader.

What is your leadership philosophy? Have you shared it lately with the people you serve and love?

David Irvine, Speaker and Author

 

]]> http://davidirvine.com/blog/2011/09/12-keys-to-leadership-you-do-know-when-its-real/feed/ 0 Activate Your Energy With A Renewed Purpose For Living http://davidirvine.com/blog/2011/09/activate-your-energy-with-a-renewed-purpose-for-living/ http://davidirvine.com/blog/2011/09/activate-your-energy-with-a-renewed-purpose-for-living/#comments Sat, 10 Sep 2011 00:26:06 +0000 David Irvine http://davidirvine.com/blog/?p=822 I recently came across a fascinating story that illustrates how having a higher purpose – beyond self-interest – can activate your passion, your zest for life. Not only does this story have application for your personal life; it also has a strong and relevant business imperative as we attempt to build cultures that awaken the human spirit, engage people, and ignite their passion. Every employee needs a purpose where he or she feels their energies and focus are taking them somewhere. An authentic leader’s work is to find a way to active this – with yourself and others.

A news report a few years ago from Biloxi, Mississippi, powerfully illustrates how important a reason for living – beyond your own self-interest – is to activate your energy (see Og Mandino’s University of Success, p. 8).

A  twenty-four year old dancer jumped from a wharf in an attempt to commit suicide. As she later put it, she was “tired of living.” A young man saw her jump and, forgetting that he didn’t know how to swim, stripped off his coat and leaped in after her in a blind attempt to save a fellow human being. He began to thrash about in the water and was in serious danger of drowning when the young dancer, her own despair momentarily forgotten, paddled over to him, grabbed hold of him and pulled him safely ashore. Instead of ending her own life she saved the life of another.

In that crucial moment when she saw the young man struggling for life, her own life suddenly gained something it had lacked before: a purpose. What ended up drowning beneath the wharf that day was not this woman’s spirit, but her despair. She had known in a dramatic flash the difference between having nothing to live for and something to live for, and having pulled the young man to safety, she was herself taken to the hospital, treated for exposure, and released with a new lease on life.

Why do you get out of bed in the morning? What gets you up early? What keeps you up late? Where are you going? What are you doing to foster a sense of purpose – both in yourself and in those you serve as a leader? When’s the last time you had conversations that focused on these questions?

David Irvine, Speaker and Author

 

]]> http://davidirvine.com/blog/2011/09/activate-your-energy-with-a-renewed-purpose-for-living/feed/ 0 Some parting words to my daughter as she prepares for college http://davidirvine.com/blog/2011/08/some-parting-words-to-my-daughter-as-she-prepares-for-college/ http://davidirvine.com/blog/2011/08/some-parting-words-to-my-daughter-as-she-prepares-for-college/#comments Sat, 27 Aug 2011 12:40:17 +0000 David Irvine http://davidirvine.com/blog/?p=815 This past week my daughter, Hayley, and I hiked up to the Barrier Lake lookout tower in Kananaskis. A consummate teacher, I could not miss the opportunity, in this rare and precious time we had together, to pass along some parting wisdom, some seeds of possibility, as she prepares to leave home and start university. I’ll never know whether any of these seeds take root, but my greatest hope is that the way she sees me live my life will speak louder than the words I attempt to convey to her.

Learn the difference between a successful life and a meaningful life.

Success means to:

  • Define your own success on your terms, not what others tell you it should be;
  • Dream big;
  • Remember that the purpose of a dream is not to achieve it; the purpose of a dream is to inspire you to become the person it will take to achieve it.
  • Learn to handle money: spend less than you make; invest before you spend; start saving now; buy less than you can afford.
  • Remember the five laws of success: 1) Show up on time; 2) Keep your promises; 3) See all blame as a waste of time; 4) Be polite; 5) Give more than you get paid for.

Meaning means to:

  • Know what you value, and don’t lose your values on the path to success.
  • Not miss out on the experience of living while you are making a living.
  • Follow your heart, that part of you that lies beneath your impulses and need for approval, that won’t settle for less than you can become, that knows you are meant to be extraordinary and contribute to the world’s evolution.
  • Learn the true meaning of love and service to others – the true source of happiness.
  • Remember that all joy ultimately comes to you in the present moment; you’ll never find joy in the past or the future.
  • Keep alive the spirit of your youth: your sense of wonder, adventure, and love of life. Maintaining your youth as you grow into the wisdom of your age, is a work of art worth going for.

Hayley was a fan of Jack Layton. I think it’s appropriate to leave you with Jack’s final message to Canada before his death this week. Whether or not you agreed with his political policies, you simply couldn’t argue with his passion, his vision, and his love – for the citizens of this country and those who spend a lifetime serving. A great leader, he always made time for people.

“My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.”

David Irvine, Speaker and Author

]]> http://davidirvine.com/blog/2011/08/some-parting-words-to-my-daughter-as-she-prepares-for-college/feed/ 0 The Heart Of The RCMP Culture – The Depot Experience http://davidirvine.com/blog/2011/07/the-heart-of-the-rcmp-culture-the-depot-experience/ http://davidirvine.com/blog/2011/07/the-heart-of-the-rcmp-culture-the-depot-experience/#comments Sat, 16 Jul 2011 16:05:14 +0000 David Irvine http://davidirvine.com/blog/?p=768 Last weekend, my fifteen year old daughter, Chandra, and I spent a weekend at Depot Division, the cadet training program of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Over the past three years I have consulted with and facilitated leadership development programs for the RCMP, from front-line constables up to the Senior Management Team in Ottawa. I had yet to experience Depot, however, and was invited to come for a weekend “crash course” in this twenty-four week program. We were also privileged to attend the graduation ceremony of Troop 16, where I was honored to be a guest speaker.

I was inspired by the values, the standards, the disciplines, the professionalism, and the rigor of this life-changing program. I was also impressed by the caliber of cadets going through Depot training. The average age entering the RCMP is now 29 years old. There were engineers, PhDs, even a physician, who had left their careers to join our national police.

I was particularly moved by the graduating ceremony. I left the experience proud to be Canadian and protected by this great national police force. If every Canadian had the opportunity to experience a Depot graduation, it would change our view of this organization. I am convinced that the challenges the RCMP face as a culture are not at Depot. The challenge, among others faced by this amazing organization, is how to sustain the values instilled at Depot.

My sincere thanks to A/Commissioner Roger Brown, the Commanding Officer of the “Depot” Division, and your team of leaders there for making this such a remarkable experience for Chandra and me. We are better people for having had this opportunity.

David Irvine, Speaker and Author

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