Learning To Lose Is Part Of Learning To Live
Chandra, our fourteen-year-old daughter, who plays competitive soccer, pointed out an article to me this past week in Canada’s MacLean’s magazine, entitled “How A Team Loses Actually Matters” (July 26 edition, pp. 48-49). It’s a good article that reflected on the World Cup in South Africa this summer. “The World Cup,” Stephen Marche stated,” produced one winner and 31 losers, many more if you include all the teams that never made it to the tournament. And while Spain will go down in history, the rest will be forgotten. Which is a shame. The losers, after all, make up the bulk of competitors and the way they lose is so much more revealing than the way they win, each defeat a minor insight into national characteristics. To steal from Tolstoy: all victories are alike; every defeat is miserable in it own way.”
The article lead to some thoughtful discussion in our home about the importance of learning how to lose in life, which includes learning how to fail. I’ve heard it said that circumstances don’t determine a person, they reveal them. The way you lose, or stumble, or fail (or whatever you want to call it) provides some insight into your nature. For sports fans, how you deal with the loss of “your” team also reveals aspects of your true character.
To steal from Marche: Anybody can join in a victory parade. Only failure reveals true passion for the game and passion for life. But the lesson goes even beyond winning and losing. True living means that our lasting worth comes from inside. Attachment to external sources (such as a sports team or whether you win, or achievements and whether you “succeed”) for our sense of identity is fruitless. Winning or losing is temporary and will pass. Success and failure teaches us that everything outside of ourselves, including our possessions, our achievements and accomplishments, and our roles, are all temporary. Learning to lose is part of learning to live.