Learning to connect when you’re a lone wolf

Being somewhat of a lone wolf, I am hyper-independent when it comes to business. I started my career in private practice as a family therapist, and then, for the past three-plus decades, as a speaker, consultant, workshop facilitator, and coach, I’ve been a solo business owner.

Over the years, I’ve tried partnerships, but inevitably I’ve not been able to let go of my fierce need for independence. I must do things my way.

While I proudly list self-sufficiency amongst my better character traits, my inability and unwillingness to include others has created a barrier to my success. Like all virtues, when independence exceeds its function, it becomes a liability.

Psychologists might suggest that my hyper-independence is a coping response from chronic trauma in my upbringing. Or maybe I feel so strongly in my purpose and mission that I have not had the confidence to allow someone into my space.

But there is only so far you can go alone. I’m truly discovering that in this next chapter of my life.

The irony is that I have spent much of my career helping people build high-trust partnerships and teams. Perhaps what we are most capable of building in others is what we are most in need of developing within ourselves.

Humanity is where it is today because we learned to collaborate. We can go fast alone, but together we can go further.
Relationships not only make our goals possible, they make them meaningful. Even if we get to the top of the mountain alone, who wants to be there with no one to share the experience?

Take a moment to stop and value your relationships – both at work and in your personal life. It’s the company that makes the journey worthwhile. Opening ourselves to connecting with and valuing people in our lives inevitably leads to opportunities to exchange ideas, receive inspiration, and deepen the meaning of our existence.

And this week I am thrilled to facilitate our Authentic Leadership Academy. Integral to the success of this experience is the meaningful connections and community we will build together.