Tag Archive for: Humility

From a TO-DO List to a TO-BE List

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Successful people have some kind of a to-do list – stuff that needs doing this year, this week, this day.
Living authentically means having a to-be list: How will you show up in your life? What kind of person will you be when you come to work? What kind of a leader will you be?

Here’s an example of what I would consider a great to-be list:

  • Be committed. Commitment is essential for success. Commitment to a cause beyond your self-interests. Commitment takes you past a goal or wish. Being committed means a firm resolve that inspires action.
  • Be encouraging. Encouragement means a belief in people, making everyone around you smarter and better. Rather than draining energy and intelligence and capacity by pretending to be the smartest person the room, use your wisdom to amplify the intelligence and capabilities of others.
  • Be grateful. Gratitude is the antidote to entitlement. Being grateful means inspiring others by finding the best in every person and every situation. My mother grew up in poverty and would say, “Always find a way to make your gratitude bigger than your circumstances.”
  • Be humble. Humility is a true evaluation of conditions as they are. It’s having the willingness and courage to face the facts of your life. Everyone has something to teach us and has somehow been a part of our success. Humility is about giving credit where credit is due.

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What a legend can teach us about leadership

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The past week we lost a legend. Bob Cole, the eminent broadcaster for Hockey Night in Canada for fifty years, was a beloved and iconic figure in Canadian sports. His passing was felt by hockey fans across the country. Bob Cole was the long time play-by-play voice of Hockey Night In Canada. He was also the voice I remember listening to sitting with my father every Saturday night.

Yesterday I listened to Bob’s last interview with CBC reporter Ian Hanomansing as he prepared for his final broadcast on April 6, 2019.

What impressed me the most about the interview was Bob Cole’s humility.

Bob believed in keeping the focus on the game itself and the unfolding action, rather than making the play-by-play about his own persona or commentary style. His approach to broadcasting allowed the drama and emotion of the game to come through. In the interview he was adamant that he never wanted the listener to remember the broadcaster; he wanted to listener to be impacted by the game. It wasn’t about him. It was about the game.

The interview was a good leadership lesson – the importance of humility. A great leader puts their team, the organization, and the cause above their own ego or personal agenda. A great leader exudes self-confidence without arrogance. They give credit and recognition to team members rather than seeking it for themselves, and are happy to see others succeed. In short, a great leader chooses service over self-interest.

Thank you, Bob Cole, for the memories and the lessons.

Get the relationships right

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As I help CEOs and senior executives develop strategy and execute that strategy with a good accountability process, I have come to realize that if we don’t get the relationships right, none of this matters.

John Maxwell said, “People buy into the leader, then the vision.” But many people have this all backwards. They believe that if the cause is good enough, people will automatically buy into it. But that’s not how leadership works. You have to get the relationships right. It’s good to inspire people with a worthy vision, but you have to care about the people you need to realize that vision at least as much as you care about the cause. Otherwise they feel used and will eventually shut down, disengage, resist, or quit.

Three things I know about relationships:

  1. Care. If people know you care they’ll get behind you and cut you a lot of slack. If they know you don’t, it won’t end well. You might get compliance as a boss, but it takes a true leader to get commitment. And you won’t get commitment if people don’t genuinely know you’re in their corner and have their back.
  2. Listen with humility. Notice your ask/tell ratio. It’s good to spend at least twice as much time listening than talking. People will open up and provide input if you know you are aren’t the smartest person in the room and that everyone has something to teach you. And empathic listening becomes easier and builds trust if you sincerely care about the answers you get.
  3. Authenticity breeds connection. When it comes to leadership, ability matters. But inner qualities matter more. To bring these inner qualities out you need to get comfortable with yourself and past the gimmicks, fads, and flavours of the month and be real with each other.

Twelve Indicators Of Authenticity

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For seven decades, leadership scholars have conducted thousands of studies to determine the traits of great leaders. Thankfully, none have constructed a clear profile of an ideal leader. There’s no single leadership style or approach to leadership you can imitate to become a great leader. We can certainly learn from others, but we all have to find our unique authentic self.

Being an authentic leader comes from being more fully who you are. It’s that simple and it’s that complex.

Here are twelve indicators of being authentic:

  1. A sense of purpose. Authentic people have a sense of purpose that gives them a reason to get up in the morning and keep walking through the hard times.
  2. They resist conformity. Authentic people don’t need others to validate their worth. They can express their opinions openly when needed. Not to be compliant or defiant, but simply to be honest.
  3. Deep-seated curiosity. Authentic people are life-long learners and actively pursue feedback from others.
  4. The courage to be vulnerable. They have a close community where they share their struggles, fears, values, self-doubts, dreams, uncertainties, grief, and deepest joy – so they are comfortable bringing the full spectrum of their humanity to the world.
  5. They care about others. They are present and engaged, taking time to listen, tune in, and sincerely value others.
  6. They own their mistakes. Authentic people take responsibility for their actions, including their mistakes. and can admit when they are wrong.
  7. Humility. They know they are never the smartest person in the room and shine the light on others.
  8. They know their values, set good boundaries, and can say no.
  9. They work for the greater good. They are committed to service over self-interest.
  10. They respect others. Authentic people value of diversity, and are not threatened by, but welcome and celebrate differences. They seek to understand as many alternative work views as deeply as they can.
  11. They are accountable. They show up. You can count on authentic people.
  12. Authentic people are self-accepting. They know they can’t always exhibit some of these traits and somehow find a way to be okay with their imperfect humanity.

Tag a leader in your life that demonstrates these traits.

Imposter Syndrome: It’s Not Your Enemy

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If you have ever felt like an imposter in your job, you are not alone. Many of us have moments when we feel that we are not properly qualified and it is only a matter of time before someone realizes that there has been some terrible mistake and we should not be in our position.

If you ever find yourself feeling like an imposter, here are three questions to ask yourself for a quick reality check so you can stay authentic and avoid the funk.

  1. Where am I growing? Feeling like an imposter likely means that you are growing and thus uncomfortable. It’s actually a barometer that indicates progress and comes with growth. While some anxiety always accompanies growth, you don’t need to get anxious about being anxious.
  2. Where’s my community? Authenticity is a lonely journey, but it can’t be done alone. We all need a community of confidants, trusted advisors, peer mentors, or coaches. What you don’t want is to go through the imposter syndrome alone. Be sure you have a community of support on the growth journey.
  3. How can I stay courageous? Imposter syndrome is an indicator of self-awareness as well as humility. Appreciate these qualities and stay connected to your courage – to keep growing, realizing your vision, and contributing your gifts. Don’t let passing thoughts that your success is undeserved or illegitimately achieved deter you from having the courage to stay the course.

Bullies make bad boxers

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There’s a saying in most boxing gyms: “Bullies make bad boxers.”

We all know them. Big macho dudes in the gym thinking they’ll prove their worth by pounding on everyone smaller than them.

But bullies are cowards. Afraid to expose their fears and insecurities. Ego maniacs with an inferiority complex. And it doesn’t take long before a mature boxer puts them in their place on the mat. After their weakness is exposed, they usually leave and you never see them again. There’s a clear message in good boxing gyms: “Bullies don’t belong here, and bullying behavior is unacceptable and won’t be tolerated.”

The best boxers are actually often the ones who have been bullied. They come with courage and humility, open to an honest evaluation of their strengths and weakness. They have no need to bring down those who are weaker than them. Instead, they have a burning desire to be all they are capable of being – by learning from those who are better than they are.

Muhammad Ali, at the peak of his career, was asked what he would do if a complete stranger slugged him. Ali responded, “I’d turn and run ‘cause that man must be craazzy!”

Ali was no coward. He could have easily beaten up just about anyone on the planet, and he knew it. But he was no bully. He was confident and had no need to prove himself by hurting anyone who didn’t stand a chance against him.

This is where boxing and leadership intersect. Bullies make bad leaders. There are people in organizations who use their title to abuse others. Like bullies in the boxing ring who try to show their worth by hitting people weaker than them, bullies in the workplace hide from their insecurities and turn to the cowardly actions of control, coercion, and abuse of power.

And, just like bullies in the boxing ring, bullies in the workplace need to be put in their place – by their boss or their board – and told, in no uncertain terms, that disrespectful, abusive behavior is unacceptable and won’t be tolerated.

May we have the courage and humility to face ourselves honestly and take a stand against people who abuse their power. May we all have the courage to do the right thing at the right time.