Overcoming Overwhelm

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I know first-hand what it feels like to reach a breaking point with the pressures of life. When you have so much on your plate, so much to do, so much stress that all you can to do is come home and veg in front of the television. Or when you are in a meeting and you are completely checked out, unable to focus on anything.

Here’s five strategies to counter overwhelm.

  1. Recognize it – with some appreciation. Overwhelm is a biological stress response. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. The recognition of being overwhelmed is a sign of self-awareness. Fighting it only adds to your stress. Appreciate that a conscientious, sensitive person is susceptible to being overwhelmed from time to time. Resist the natural reaction to get overwhelmed by being overwhelmed.
  2. Step back. When overcome with stress, it is important to step away from the situation to get some perspective. If you can’t step away physically, give yourself a five-minute mental break. You might need a day on a weekend to turn off your devices and take a complete break from the demands in your life.
  3. Investigate it. Resist the tendency to escape to devices, television or other vices, and instead take the time to reflect on any changes you need to make in your life. Get into nature for some relaxation. Call a trusted confidant. Do some journal writing. Sit quietly and practice listening to your inner knowing. What important values have you been neglecting? Pay particular attention to what you need to say NO to and what you need to start saying YES to.
  4. Break it down. Make a list of everything that is creating the overwhelm. Once you have written a list, separate it into three categories: (a) what needs to be done this week; (b) what needs to be done after this week; (c) things you need to say no to. Then pick the three things that need to be done today and have a “small giant” success.
  5. Plan a new structure. Start with defining what matters to you. Create space between a request and an impulse to say yes to prevent overwhelm in the future. And next time you get overwhelmed, appreciate that you are still learning.

Corporate Vision – Three Components That Are Often Missing

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The purpose of a corporate vision is to unite and inspire people around a shared goal. It clarifies what is important to the organization so everyone can get their hearts into working together towards a shared higher purpose.

There are three key components to a solid corporate vision that are often missing:

1. Corporate vision needs to start with a compelling personal vision. You won’t put your heart into a corporate vision until it aligns with what matters to you personally. People have to feel that their personal sense of purpose and values are in the game. To have energy and meaning, everything at the corporate level needs to start at the personal level.

2. According to Jim Collins and Jerry Porras, a corporate vision involves discovering your organization’s core ideology (the enduring character of an organization) and a vivid description of a ten-year ideal BHAG. The core ideology includes your core values (the guiding principles by which a company navigates) and your core purpose (your organization’s fundamental reason for being). You don’t create or set core ideology – you discover it. You don’t deduce it by looking at the external environment; you understand it by looking inside. Ideology has to be authentic.

3. You have to keep your vision front and center. Keep it alive. If it gets stored on your hard drive or merely sits on the wall in your office, it will become part of the background and will die a slow death. Your corporate vision is a living entity that requires energy – energy that comes from ongoing inspiring personal visioning, conversations, and agreements. Every person in the organization needs to understand how their personal passion, vision, values, and contribution aligns with the corporate vision.

If you need support with aligning personal and corporate vision and values, discovering your core ideology, or keeping it alive in your organization, reach out and schedule a complimentary call with me: marg@davidirvine.com. I would love to hear from you.

A tough load to carry

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The last few years have been difficult. People have struggled and persevered and faced tremendous challenges. Organizations and families have been divided. As leaders, we may have carried an extra burden to ensure our businesses continued to thrive and grow. It’s not easy when there’s hardship all around and you feel you have to be strong all the time.

How, as leaders, do we reconcile the need to be steadfast, confident, and strong with the reality of being human?

Here are three suggestions:

1. Be real. It takes courage to openly face your feelings and It will earn you respect. It’s also healthier for you and for the people you serve. Facing your emotions decreases your risk for developing PTSD symptoms in times of crisis and adversity.

2. Show up. Don’t put your emotions in the driver’s seat. Being emotional has nothing to do with being weak. Take a few moments to be human, then be a human that rolls up their sleeves and gets back to work. Openness and honesty about our own feelings opens the door to be there for others This is what builds a strong community.

3. Have a support system away from work. Don’t rely on your team to take care of you. That’s not their job. We all need a trusted confidant away from work to support us, provide perspective, and hold us accountable through the hard times.

Work/Life Balance: It’s About Flow, Not Balance

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If you are a conscientious, accountable leader, it can be hard to find work-life balance. When you feel directly responsible for someone’s livelihood, it can feel selfish to take time for yourself. You can end up pulled in many directions – from the people who depend on you at work and the people who depend on you at home.

So how do you take care of yourself in the midst of all the demands?

Three strategies:

  1. Come up with a new goal. Work-life balance is actually an odd aspiration for a successful life. Think of learning to ride a bike. You work hard at not falling. It takes an enormous effort and energy. The goal in learning to ride a bicycle is to eventually get past balance to flow. Once you get it, it’s not about balance, it’s about enjoying the journey and getting to your destination. Instead of thinking of work-life balance, consider changing the goal to flow and integration.
  2. With the goal of integration, identify your core values – the areas in your life that require your attention. Then sit down with the people in your life who depend on you and upon whom you depend and have a conversation about key accountabilities that need to be integrated into your life. Establish clear expectations of need and availability. Delegate and negotiate for resources and allow for possible emergency escalations. Like riding a bike through difficult terrain, you have to be prepared to ride the flow imperfectly. The goal is that during the course of an upcoming year, all important areas in your life get attended to.
  3. Discover your passion. Too often, in the words of Gary Porter, “I hear people vacillating over their work/life balance, which to me just means that they have not found their passion; that which makes them come alive. Too often, those people… spend their life struggling to attain the satisfaction that working with your passion can bring. When you find your passion and go ‘all in,’ your passion consumes you and resides within your work, home and play spaces…” When you find your passion – either in your personal life or in your work life – and find a way to immerse yourself in it, life becomes fulfilling, with the rewards in the journey, not the destination.

We can’t always do only what we love. But we can always find the love in what we do.

And “work/life balance” will be irrelevant as you begin living an integrated life in the flow.

How To Lead – The Authentic Way

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“At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou

A friend recently told me about a boss he had when working in the oil patch thirty years ago. Anyone who has worked on the rigs knows that the typical boss in that world is a brutal, kick a** individual. It isn’t uncommon that the first mistake you make is the last.

But my friend’s boss was, in his words, a “generation ahead of himself.” If you made a mistake, he would carefully go through what happened, discuss your rationale for your actions, and talk about what you learned. Then he would respectfully go through a list of the expectations and how you could make improvements going forward. At the end – and this is what stood out for my friend – he would shake your hand. It was clear that you were trusted, respected, and expected to be accountable.

Every morning he would have the team gather for a 15-20 minute informal coffee. This was a chance to learn something about what was going on in people’s lives away from work, and for him to get to know his team. If guys came in hungover or half-drunk he would respectfully send them on their way.

This leader had an authentic way of creating a safe and respectful place to work – even though he wouldn’t use those words. His approach wasn’t about techniques or gimmicks or management fads. It came from his human goodness. It was his presence not his position.

This man set the benchmark for my friend’s leadership philosophy for his entire career. The impact on his life and his leadership lasted a lifetime.

Leaders truly create ripples in time that extend for generations.

Let us make a resolve to be a better leader today by being a better person.

Let us re-commit to leadership – the authentic way.

Imposter Syndrome: It’s Not Your Enemy

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If you have ever felt like an imposter in your job, you are not alone. Many of us have moments when we feel that we are not properly qualified and it is only a matter of time before someone realizes that there has been some terrible mistake and we should not be in our position.

If you ever find yourself feeling like an imposter, here are three questions to ask yourself for a quick reality check so you can stay authentic and avoid the funk.

  1. Where am I growing? Feeling like an imposter likely means that you are growing and thus uncomfortable. It’s actually a barometer that indicates progress and comes with growth. While some anxiety always accompanies growth, you don’t need to get anxious about being anxious.
  2. Where’s my community? Authenticity is a lonely journey, but it can’t be done alone. We all need a community of confidants, trusted advisors, peer mentors, or coaches. What you don’t want is to go through the imposter syndrome alone. Be sure you have a community of support on the growth journey.
  3. How can I stay courageous? Imposter syndrome is an indicator of self-awareness as well as humility. Appreciate these qualities and stay connected to your courage – to keep growing, realizing your vision, and contributing your gifts. Don’t let passing thoughts that your success is undeserved or illegitimately achieved deter you from having the courage to stay the course.