CHOICES MATTER How Small Decisions Unlock Big Potential

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It is our CHOICES that show who we truly are, more than our ABILITIES.

Harry Potter

Three decades ago, after an extended bout of depression, a struggling business, and a lengthy fight with addiction, I made a decision that changed my life. I didn’t “hope” my life would get better, because it wouldn’t. I decided it was going to get better. I decided, once and for all, that all blame was a waste of time. I decided that I was not going to be the product of my upbringing or my circumstances. Instead, I would develop from the choices I make in response to my circumstances. I decided that, if I was going to have a good day it wouldn’t depend on what was going on around me; it would depend on the choice I made. I decided to ask for help. And deciding made all the difference.

Spending the past thirty years in a recovery community I have come to know first-hand that small decisions truly unlock big potential. Every day I decide:

Will I take the path that leads to insanity and death, or will I take the path that leads to a reasonably fulfilled and useful life? Will I remain a sick person or will I choose to be a useful, contributing citizen?

When it’s a life-or-death decision you realize the power of a choice. One decision will shape our lives and direct our futures. One decision opens new possibilities while closing others. By making conscious choices, we exercise control over our paths and become active creators of our destinies rather than victims of our circumstances.

The Cost of Unconscious Choosing

Operating unconsciously means letting old habits, social conditioning, or fleeting emotions steer our actions. This can lead to patterns that don’t serve us: staying in unfulfilling jobs, repeating unhealthy relationships, or neglecting our well-being. When outcomes disappoint us, it’s easy to feel like life is happening to us, not for us. We become passive participants, attributing our dissatisfaction to bad luck or external forces.

From Victimhood to Mastery

The antidote to being a passive participant is conscious choice. When we pause and reflect on our motivations and intentions, we reclaim authorship of our lives. Even small decisions—like choosing to respond with kindness instead of irritation, or dedicating time to a personal goal—can have profound ripple effects. By becoming aware of our choices, we shift from being victims of circumstance to masters of our fate.

Empowerment Through Awareness and Courage

This awareness of our choices begins the journey to empowerment. By regularly checking in with ourselves—asking, “Why am I doing this?” or “Is this aligned with my values?”—we create space between stimulus and response. In that space lies our power to choose differently, to break free from limiting patterns, and to steer our lives in the direction we truly desire.

Choice is a fundamental human right and catalyst for personal growth. Not being conscious of our choices, however, can quietly erode our sense of control, leaving us feeling victimized without even knowing it. But by cultivating awareness and intentionality, we transform from passive recipients of circumstance into active creators of our destinies.

Trauma leaves traces on our minds and bodies.

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It leaves an imprint on everything we touch, the way we think, the way we feel, the way we interact with those around us, and the way we live.

Join me this Friday, April 25th for a webinar focused on Trauma, Loss & Recovery.

  1. Leave with a greater understanding of trauma, its impact on our lives, and what a healing journey can look like.
  2. Learn how trauma is not what happens to you; it is what happens inside you because of what happens to you.
  3. Leave with guideposts for navigating the trauma and the journey of recovery, along with insights for supporting others through their trauma journey.

Click here to secure your complimentary seat.

SHATTERED OPEN – How Tragedies Can Help Us Grow

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In the summer of 2024 approximately thirty percent of the beautiful townsite of Jasper, Alberta was destroyed in a fire that swept through that community. Of the 1,113 structures in the town, 358 of them burned. The wildfire covered an estimated 33,000 hectares, the largest wildfire recorded in the park in a century. A mass evacuation of 25,000 residents and visitors occurred in July last year with the evacuation order lasting until August 17. Tragically, one firefighter lost his life during the containment efforts. The insurance claims for damages are reaching nearly a billion dollars, making this tragedy one of Canada’s most expensive natural disasters.

There isn’t a person connected to this pristine community who was not impacted by the disaster. And the journey to recovery, rebuilding, and healing will last a lifetime.

While those who don’t live in Jasper can’t possibly know what it was like to go through the fires, perhaps some who did can help us understand the choices and challenges we all face in times of tragedy and trauma: Will we be shattered and defeated, or shattered open and transformed?

We all know people who have risen from a life interrupted, from the ashes of trauma – illness, loss of a loved one or business or home, divorce, layoff, bankruptcy, abuse – to emerge stronger, wiser, and more connected to their passion and purpose. How can you embrace unimaginable difficulty in a way that allows the pain to break you open so a better person can emerge from it?

Here are three reminders to get through a tragedy:

  1. There is no prescribed way to get through a devastating loss. The only way to get to the other side is through it. And you get through it by honoring whatever you’re experiencing.
  2. We’ve all heard that “when one door closes another one opens.” What they don’t tell you is that it’s hell in the corridor. It’s the corridor that’s toughest to navigate.
  3. There’s no such thing as “closure.” Closure is a fabricated concept used to give us an artificial sense of comfort in the pain. Instead of seeking closure, we heal by acknowledging and integrating gratitude and grief into our lives simultaneously. Healing is a life-long journey.

What horses can teach us about culture and leadership

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From my time hanging around horses I’ve learned:

  1. Horses don’t care about titles. They don’t care whether you are the CEO or the janitor. What they do care about is your ego. If it’s too big they’ll put you in your place.
  2. It’s all about relationships. If you can’t build a relationship with your horse you won’t get anywhere with them. Horses are highly tuned energetic beings. They can sense your mood within several feet.
  3. We all know the saying that you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. But I have a follow-up question: How can a horse drink if it is not near water in the first place? We make real strides as a team only if we are physically together. Many are upset by the requirement to be in the office five days a week, but we simply cannot build a thriving culture if many of us are working remotely.

Five Common People Myths

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  1. You can fix people if you send them for coaching or therapy.
  2. If you want to make changes in your life, strengthen your weaknesses.
  3. To show care and support, make it easier for people.
  4. Tough conversations harm relationships.
  5. When someone’s personal life is a mess, it doesn’t necessarily affect their work.

Five Truths About People

  1. None of us need “fixing.” However, when motivated, coaching or therapy can help develop self-awareness and personal growth.
  2. Strengthening weakness is a bad investment of time and energy. Instead, invest in strengthening strengths and delegating weaknesses to someone whose strength is your weakness.
  3. You don’t support people by lowering your standards or making it easier for them. You support people by being in their corner in tough times.
  4. Tough conversations, if done effectively, will strengthen relationships.
  5. Life is one indivisible whole. Any area in your life that is in shambles will impact every area of your life. And improving any area in your life will also improve every area in your life.

Psychological Safety: It’s About Good Leadership

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Psychological safety, no matter how you spin it, boils down to basic good leadership. And good leadership is best measured by one question: Do people feel safe to bring you the bad news?

There’s always bad news. People make mistakes. Expectations aren’t met. Frustrations arise.

Don’t gauge the health of your leadership by the amount of bad news, but by how people deal with it. If you aren’t hearing bad news maybe people don’t feel safe to tell you the truth. You can’t simply have an “open door policy” and expect that people will bound through that door. You have to get out of your office, engage, be intentional about listening to concerns, genuinely care about your people, value their input, and, above all, be honest about mistakes you make. You have to model bringing bad news responsibly – without blaming or criticizing.

Good leaders who make it safe to bring the bad news unlock potential, foster trust, drive innovation, and improve team performance.

What are you doing to make it safe for people to bring you the bad news?