Five Common People Myths

  1. You can fix people if you send them for coaching or therapy.
  2. If you want to make changes in your life, strengthen your weaknesses.
  3. To show care and support, make it easier for people.
  4. Tough conversations harm relationships.
  5. When someone’s personal life is a mess, it doesn’t necessarily affect their work.

Five Truths About People

  1. None of us need “fixing.” However, when motivated, coaching or therapy can help develop self-awareness and personal growth.
  2. Strengthening weakness is a bad investment of time and energy. Instead, invest in strengthening strengths and delegating weaknesses to someone whose strength is your weakness.
  3. You don’t support people by lowering your standards or making it easier for them. You support people by being in their corner in tough times.
  4. Tough conversations, if done effectively, will strengthen relationships.
  5. Life is one indivisible whole. Any area in your life that is in shambles will impact every area of your life. And improving any area in your life will also improve every area in your life.

Psychological Safety: It’s About Good Leadership

Psychological safety, no matter how you spin it, boils down to basic good leadership. And good leadership is best measured by one question: Do people feel safe to bring you the bad news?

There’s always bad news. People make mistakes. Expectations aren’t met. Frustrations arise.

Don’t gauge the health of your leadership by the amount of bad news, but by how people deal with it. If you aren’t hearing bad news maybe people don’t feel safe to tell you the truth. You can’t simply have an “open door policy” and expect that people will bound through that door. You have to get out of your office, engage, be intentional about listening to concerns, genuinely care about your people, value their input, and, above all, be honest about mistakes you make. You have to model bringing bad news responsibly – without blaming or criticizing.

Good leaders who make it safe to bring the bad news unlock potential, foster trust, drive innovation, and improve team performance.

What are you doing to make it safe for people to bring you the bad news?

RISE ABOVE – Unleashing Potential Through the Power of Accountability

From the ages of fourteen to eighteen I worked part-time alongside Bob Dye, a carpenter that my parents hired for renovation projects. I remember the care that Bob put into his work. He was a true craftsman. He left nothing to chance. He took pride in his work. He taught me how to hold a hammer and how to sink a nail. He taught me how to use a power saw safely and how to square a floor in a crooked house. He showed up every day on time with a smile on his face and a positive attitude. Whether he was framing or finishing, craftsmanship showed through in everything he did.

He was patient with me when I made mistakes. I think he liked working with me because I showed up on time and worked hard. In hindsight, I’m sure I slowed him down, but he never mentioned it. I remember cutting a dozen two-by-fours three inches too short. He smiled and responded, “I also had to learn the hard way that it’s always good to measure twice and cut once.” I imagine my dad talked with him about having him apprentice me, both in carpentry and in life. My attitude was certainly bigger than my skill level, and he respected me for that. He was shy and gentle and had a big heart and was always kind and generous to me. I looked forward to working alongside him on Saturdays, after school, holidays, and summers. Dad would work with us whenever he could. I’m grateful that I had older men in my life that loved me, took time for me, and were good role models.

My parents paid Bob by the project, and when the project was done, he would give them an invoice and say, “Take your time and inspect our work. If it meets your standards, pay me. If not, there’s no charge and we’ll re-do it.” Bob was serious, even though not getting paid would have put a severe financial hit on his family. He also had a respectful way of making me feel part of his team, that we had achieved this together, even though he did the real work and there was just the two of us.

That pay-me-when-you-know-it’s-done-right approach was not a show. It was a demonstration of integrity. It was an expression of his character. And not once, in all those years, did we have to re-do a job or not get paid. As it turned out, Bob inspired me with a blueprint for how to run my business for the past forty years.

It’s inspiring to be around an accountable person, a person that can be counted on, a person that takes pride in their work, who demonstrates care and civility, who shows up, is committed to creating value before they get paid, and who makes you a better person for being in their presence. I’ll always cherish Bob for being my mentor.

Accountability is not a hammer to punish people. Accountability was never meant to be used as a disciplinary measure. Even though we need to face the consequences of our choices, accountability is not an HR performance management process or appraisal program. Accountability – the ability to be counted on – is a philosophy of life that inspires and empowers us to rise above mediocrity, renews our workplaces, restores our mojo, and gives us our freedom.

From Struggle To Emergence: Adversity as a Call To Creation

When I launched my speaking profession, I partnered exclusively with a speakers’ bureau. Speakers’ bureaus serve a great purpose as intermediaries between professional speakers and clients. They represented me, did all the negotiations, booking, marketing, and event coordination.

After three years of working with them, they went bankrupt. It was devastating. I was shocked, angry, and dismayed that a company I trusted could leave me with several thousands of dollars in unpaid invoices. There was security in that relationship. I could count on the work, clients were cared for, and the money was there, just like a “secure” corporate job.

Through the light of times perspective, I now see that the loss of the money and relationship turned out to be a good thing. Adversity can be something wanting to be born. Ending that relationship allowed me to take flight, spread my wings, and find my own way in the marketplace. I would not have found my voice and built my business to what it is today had I stayed in that comfortable, “secure” relationship.

Adversity truly is an opportunity to call forth our potential, summon our hidden strengths, and birth new possibilities – even if the labour of that birth can be painful and arduous.

Two Kinds of AI: Artificial Intelligence vs. Authentic Interaction

When I asked AI the difference between artificial intelligence (AI) and authentic interaction (AI), here’s what I got: “artificial intelligence (AI) and authentic interaction (AI) represent fundamentally different approaches to human connection and problem-solving. While artificial intelligence relies on algorithms and data analysis to simulate human-like responses, authentic interaction involves genuine human engagement, emotional understanding, and nuanced communication.”

However, only a human being can experience the difference between the two – to fully know the difference.

Artificial Intelligence is a great tool but there are severe limitations when it comes to human contact and connection. We can get so lost in the world of artificial intelligence that we don’t even know we are lost. As I say to my university students, “AI will help you write a better paper, but AI won’t help you be a better counsellor. For that, the art of authentic interaction must be mastered.”

I would love to hear your thoughts on the difference between the two AIs – Artificial Intelligence and Authentic Interaction.

We all have bad days – even weeks. How do you know when it’s a you vs. them problem?

It’s never a you vs. them problem. It’s always a you and them problem. In every relationship challenge there are always two sides. When facing a relationship problem, the accountability approach asks: “How am I contributing to the problem I am complaining about?” This question implies a commitment to look at your side of the issue.

While the other person is also contributing to the problem, all you can control is your side of the street. It’s not necessarily 50/50, but there is always something you can learn and do differently. This replaces blame with personal responsibility and understanding.