Authenticity brings peace, power, and purpose into our lives and leadership.

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A research project posed two questions to a randomly selected group:

  1. What’s it like to live your life and not be the real you? Responses included: Exhausting, depressing, sad, stressful, lonely, disengaged, empty, and lost.
  2. What’s it like to accept yourself? Responses included: Happy, confident, joyous, free, inspiring, appreciative, alive, fulfilled.

Who would you prefer for a boss or colleague: An authentic person who is at peace with themselves or an inauthentic person who isn’t?

Leadership is truly about PRESENCE, not position.

Honouring Terry Fox September 15

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Raised in British Columbia, Terry Fox was an active teenager who participated in many sports. In 1977, at 18 years old, Terry was diagnosed with Osteogenic Sarcoma (bone cancer) and his right leg was amputated six inches above the knee. In the hospital, Terry was overcome by the plight of other cancer patients and decided to run across Canada to raise money for cancer research. Terry said, “Somewhere the hurting must stop,” and called his journey the Marathon of Hope.

Terry began at St. John’s, Newfoundland to run across this great country on his artificial leg – with courage, determination and hopefulness. He would have made it to the other coast if the cancer had not returned. For 143 days, the cross-Canada Marathon of Hope gained momentum, ultimately raising over $24 million that year. Since Terry’s death in 1981, his cancer research legacy has raised over $850 million and 1,300 projects have been funded in his name.

Terry’s is honoured every September by ordinary Canadians and people around the world who participate in the Terry Fox Run. On run day, people walk, run, jog, ride, skateboard, hop, or even skip and jump along a 10 km route. Donors and participants alike know why they do this. Terry, it turned out, left a legacy of hope for everyone, everywhere.

When Terry’s mother, visited the Terry Fox Park in Cochrane in the early 1990s, she lovingly declared that Terry was no hero. Betty Fox said he was just an ordinary boy who wanted to make a difference.
I find it inspiring that often the most ordinary people among us are the ones who change the world. However you may define “changing the world,” don’t ever count yourself out as one of those people.

Four Pillars of a Good Life

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Lindsay Kimmett was an athlete, leader, learner, and aspiring doctor with the skills and ambition to leave a big mark on the world. After her tragic passing on February 17th, 2008, her family and friends, committed to carrying on her legacy and passion for hockey, organized a 3-on-3 pond hockey tournament in Lindsay’s hometown of Cochrane, Alberta, Canada. Known as the Kimmett Cup, the tournament is held annually on the second weekend of February. It grows every year, bringing the community together and donating to local charities while contributing to the Lindsay Leigh Kimmett Memorial Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to Lindsay’s memory.

The original organizers of the event knew nothing about organizing a hockey tournament. But they wanted the tournament to reflect who Lindsay was as a person. Today, even though a lot has changed, they still strive to maintain the same principles: everyone plays; play like Lindsay did; bring community together. Lindsay lived by the motto “seize the day”. Today they live out that legacy through Lindsay’s Foundation. To date, more than $3,000,000 has been invested into the community in Lindsay’s name, across an array of both local and global initiatives.

One of the indicators of a good life is that it lives beyond a life – regardless of its length. To live authentically means taking the time to define what it means to live a well-lived life. Inspired by Otto Paul Kretzmann, a professor and pastor of the mid-20th century, I maintain that if a person is to survive, flourish, and stay sane in the modern world, four elements are essential.

  1. Something to live by. A well-lived life requires a set of values that provide guideposts and a framework for decision-making. Focused momentum is necessary for well-being and cannot be sustained by impulsive decisions. Non-negotiable principles guide an authentic life and provide strength and direction.
  2. Something to live for. Life becomes a slog when it consists merely of checking off a daily to-do list. A sense of purpose, a reason for being, and service beyond self-interest give us a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning and stay engaged with our life.
  3. Something to live on. Money may not buy you happiness, but it will buy you options. Creating an income sufficient to attend to our basic needs and allow pursuits that bring joy are important to a well-lived life. It isn’t just about how much we make, however. It’s also about how much we spend. Fulfillment is hard to grasp amid worry and financial stress. Having the discipline to live below your means and learning to be satisfied with what you have are paramount to a good life.
  4. Something to live with. Something to live by, to live for, and to live on means little if we don’t learn to live with love. A good life is one that is lived wholeheartedly, connected to the important people in our lives. Love is what makes it all worthwhile.

Simple Living in a Complex World: Transitions, Aristotle, and Coming Home

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Selling a house can be an emotional undertaking, a journey of self-discovery. It is a bittersweet experience as we downsize to simplify our lives.

Our peaceful home and the soothing nature reserve alongside it has been a haven to me and our family for almost two decades. It’s a place where I connected with my soul on walks in the forest, where I have meditated in the stillness and beauty of the valley, where our family appreciated the beauty of nature.

However, I’m coming to realize that a large part of my motivation to acquire this property was my need to prove myself and it has consumed much of my energy. That my worth has been tied to this place came, in part, from my early upbringing, driven by the voice of my mother who lived through poverty in the depression and who defined herself by her belongings as a result. This drive for status acquired from material possessions became part of my personal identity and has been a weight on my shoulders.

Like all patterns we create, this pattern has both a good side and a destructive one. I still love an aesthetic home that feeds my soul and am proud that we created that space for myself and loved ones. However, I know that the source of the drive to sustain it was not good for my wellbeing. In the words of the Quaker theorist of the simple life, John Woodman, I “necessitated to labour too hard.”

This struggle brings to mind Aristotle’s challenge to an external-oriented life which is as relevant today as it was twenty-three hundred years ago. He identified “external goods” as wealth, property, power, and reputation. These still create the standard vision of success in our modern times. Aristotle contrasted these external goods with elements of character or the “good of the soul”: fortitude, temperance, justice, and wisdom. When we consider what we truly want for ourselves and our children, are we overly concerned about being wealthy and successful? Or is success a means to the higher goal of being a good human being?

This transition to downsizing has inspired me to reconnect with my deepest self. Letting go is agonizing, yet it is leading me to a deeper homecoming to my authenticity.

I am looking forward to living more simply in this complex world, with less pressure and more focus on work that matters to me and the activities in life that I truly value. It’s never too late to start anew. And a huge reminder of this is that my new granddaughter, Juno, has just arrived! I look forward to spending more time with her.

Here are three lessons from my experience that I hope will be useful on your path to a simpler life:

  1. Practice making decisions based on sustainable values, not emotions. Decisions motivated by appearances, impressions, and impulses most often lead to a financial burden that you don’t need to carry.
  2. The good life is not one of consumption or size or external appearance, but of the flourishing of our deepest selves. It’s ultimately about the expression of love, giving of ourselves, and developing strong character.
  3. True belonging and worth ultimately don’t come from a physical place. They come from within.

MoverOne Group

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This week I had the privilege of spending two days in Mississauga with an amazing group of leaders at MoverOne Group from across the country. This incredible team, whose brands include United Van lines and Mayflower, take care to a whole new level.

MoverOne Group’s focus and commitment to care truly unites them. Although I was there to teach them about leadership, they truly inspired me.

Fostering Well-Being in Times of Mental Fatigue – The Authentic Way

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Brenda is a project manager at a large financial services company. For the past year, she has been leading a team tasked with developing a new product line on a tight deadline. She’s been working 60-70 hours/week, constantly juggling demands from her team, executive, and her clients. She has had to make numerous high-stake decisions under immense pressure. And she is a parent of three school age children.

She now feels completely drained, both mentally and physically. She’s having trouble concentrating and remembering key details. Simple tasks that were once easy now seem overwhelming. She’s getting cynical and detached from her work. She’s getting irritable with both her team and her family and lashes out at them over minor issues. Her sleep has been almost non-existent, and she relies on caffeine and energy drinks to get her through the day. And she’s on prescription muscle relaxants and pain medication for her headaches.

She’s starting to dread going into the office each morning and has considered quitting her job entirely, despite having worked so hard on this project. While this is likely an extreme case of chronic overwork, I hear versions of this story from many people these days.

What’s going on, and what can we do about it?

With fatigue and burnout, we see symptoms such as difficulty concentrating, impaired judgement and decision-making, increased forgetfulness, irritability, decreased motivation, increased mistakes, headaches, cynicism, changes in sleep patterns (e.g. insomnia), and increased absenteeism. I suggest five strategies for dealing with it:

  1.  Recognize. It takes courage to step up and be accountable. However, don’t confuse courage with the temptation of martyrdom. It takes humility – a true evaluation of conditions as they are – to truly be strong. Honestly acknowledge if you have gone from a healthy sense of tiredness that you recover from on the weekend, to real exhaustion. There’s no shame in recognizing that you are burned out. It can happen to anyone who is conscientious and loses touch with their values. Remember: self-centered, lazy sloths don’t get exhausted.
  2. Reach Out. Carrying other’s responsibilities often comes with accountable people. However, it’s not sustainable. The lone-warrior model of leadership is, in the words of Ronald Heifetz, heroic suicide. Each of us have blind spots that require the vision of others. Reach out for help from a guide.
  3. Relate. This may sound strange, but you can make friends with your exhaustion. It’s not your enemy. It’s here to teach you. If you stop long enough to get your bearings – away from the demands of the world – you can befriend your exhaustion and ask it, like you would a friend, what advice it would give you. Write down the guidance you get. It’s possible to create a relationship with, and learn from, your exhaustion.
  4. Reflect. Exhaustion means you have lost connection with your values by allowing yourself to be suffocated by the expectations of others. Getting your bearings includes reconnecting with your values. Make a list of things that are important to you. Now arrange the items in descending order of their importance. Notice where you’ve placed inner peace, well-being, or whatever you want to call it. How important is this to you? What comes before it on the list? Many responsible people don’t make themselves a priority. The way you see yourself is reflected in how you treat yourself.
  5. Renew. You don’t have to change yourself. Living authentically means simply coming home to yourself. It’s that simple and it’s that complex. The healing journey isn’t an overnight venture, but it does start with a single step. Ask yourself, “What do I need to STOP, START, and CONTINUE doing to live a life that is aligned with what truly matters to me?” “What one small decision would make all the difference?” Reflect on how you can make yourself a priority – so that your caring and commitment to others comes from overflow, not emptiness. What agreements will you make? What actions are needed? What support do you require?