You Can’t Leave Belonging To Chance

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If you think about the time you have spent in your family, at school, and organizations you’ve worked in, you know what it feels like to belong or not belong, and why it matters. It’s the difference between feeling isolated, detached, and irrelevant, and feeling connected, valued, and engaged. Belonging makes all the difference. We all need to feel that we belong, are needed and appreciated, and that we have something important to offer.

You can’t leave belonging to chance. Leaders have a responsibility to be intentional about creating a space where everyone knows they belong.

Here are three strategies:

  1. Take accountability for your own belonging. Belonging starts from within. Acknowledge that you have participated in creating the conditions you want changed.We can’t expect others to value and respect us until we value and respect ourselves.
  2. Make it safe to have real conversations. Belonging grows in a climate of dialogue. Start by asking: How are we putting up barriers to belonging here? What doubts or reservations do you have? What have you said yes to that you no longer really mean? Peter Block reminds us that leaders must protect space for the expression of people’s doubts. Be curious and get interested.
  3. Focus on gifts. Typically, the only time we talk about a person’s gifts is at their retirement party or funeral. Don’t wait until people are on their way out to express gratitude. Instead of telling people what they need to improve and what they should do differently next time, focus on their talents. Tell others about the gifts you have received from them, the unique strengths and capacities you see in them, and what they do that makes a difference.

Calgary Fire Department Pensioners Association

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We had a great time at the Calgary Fire Department Pensioners Association golf tournament at Valley Ridge Golf Club.

Wayfinders Wellness Society is grateful to have worked together with the Calgary Fire Department peer support team in support of mental health and wellness in the critical work of fire fighting.

MoverOne Group

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This week I had the privilege of spending two days in Mississauga with an amazing group of leaders at MoverOne Group from across the country. This incredible team, whose brands include United Van lines and Mayflower, take care to a whole new level.

MoverOne Group’s focus and commitment to care truly unites them. Although I was there to teach them about leadership, they truly inspired me.

13th Annual World Religions Conference

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I had the good fortune of moderating the panel at the 13th Annual World Religions Conference in Cochrane this week, where we discussed Truth and Faith: How do we Know What to Believe?

The evening was intended to “embrace the mosaic of world religions and philosophies… where faiths converge & understanding prevails…”

We indeed witnessed the vibrant fusion of knowledge, beliefs, and traditions, and celebrated the harmony and unity that binds us together.

Thank to you to Rev. John Snow Jr. who offered an Aboriginal perspective, Michael Sabet, who gave a Baha’i viewpoint, Dr. Scott MacDonald, a Christian perspective, Dr. Daniel Haas, a humanist view, and Imam Zahir Ahmed, an Islamic perspective.

 

The Leader’s Navigator Podcast

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My daughter Hayley and I have been doing a podcast together since June of 2022. We have a wonderful time together and have shared over 60 episodes.

If you haven’t listened yet, we would love to have you pop by and check out a few episodes.

Some of our most recent topics include:

• Episode 61 – Finding Your IKIGAI – where your gifts and passion intersect with your contribution to the world.

• Episode 60 – Clarifying Your Values, Home, and the Authentic Journey

• Episode 59 – Finding Yourself in a World of Unrealistic Expectations: The Push for Perfectionism and Pressures of Popularity

https://theleadersnavigator.podbean.com/

How to hold yourself accountable to be authentic.

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Authenticity is when your actions are a full expression of who you are in a way that contributes to the world. You are in alignment with what life wants from you. The Authentic Way is the awareness that you don’t need to change yourself; you need to come home to yourself.

Words I hear used to describe what it’s like to be authentic, at home with yourself: happy, confident, peaceful, free, brave, calm, inspired, appreciative, alive, fulfilled, ‘you lose all track of time.’

Words used to describe when how you live is not the real you: exhausting, anxious, depressing, sad, irritable, stressed, lonely, disengaged, empty, lost.

How to hold yourself accountable to be authentic:

  1. Decision. Like any choice to change your life, it starts with a decision – a firm resolve to live your life authentically.
  2. A Benchmark. Have a sense of what authenticity feels like to you: have a vision of what “coming home” means to you. Know you’ll be “off course” much of the time in a world that expects much from us.
  3. Community. Authenticity is a lonely journey but it can’t be done alone. Community can come in the way of teachers, guides, confidants, and coaches – those who support you and hold you accountable to be who you are.
  4. Self-Reflection. The authentic journey is a contemplative journey. Reserve time on a regular basis to turn off technology to attend to the voice from within.
  5. Journaling. Regularly writing down your emotions, reflections, dreams, values, progress, and gratitude, can help keep you connected to your authenticity.
  6. Feedback. Be open to how you are impacting others. Stay humble. Being teachable is a core quality of authenticity.
  7. Uniqueness. Create a list of ways you come home to yourself, nourish yourself, and attend to these regularly (e.g. spending time in nature, with good friends, with animals you love, reading books, cooking, going to museums or the theatre, etc.)
  8. Service. Authenticity means bringing your gifts to the world in a way that makes the world better – even in some small way. Be sure you are intentional about making a difference.