Boxes, Presents, and Presence…

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Boxes, Presents, and Presence…

This past weekend my sister was visiting. During our time together, we went through the “boxes.” You know the “boxes.” Ones you dig out of the basement that have old “stuff“ like your parents’ grade school report cards or your junior high basketball trophies or the letters your mother wrote to you while you were at summer camp.

Amidst the boxes, one box in particular intrigued me. It was a box of cards congratulating my parents when I was born. In those days mothers stayed in the hospital long enough that the address on the envelopes was the maternity ward at the hospital.

Yes, these were real cards. Hand-written. With a return address and a stamp. Placed in the mailbox and addressed to my parents. Thirty-six of them in total. The moment I opened that box I realized I wasn’t just born into a family; I was born into a community.

Although there isn’t anything particularly unusual about a box of thirty-six hand-written cards, imagine the undertaking of each card: going to the store, carefully choosing a card, crafting a thoughtful message, buying a stamp. Then going to the post box to send them off – at least an hour for each card.

Recently, my niece had a baby and we sent a quick post on Facebook, and a text with a few emojis congratulating her. All told, it took about sixty seconds.

I’m not suggesting we discard our devices and go back to the “good old days.” They weren’t actually the “good old days,” they were simply the old days with different challenges.

What I am suggesting is that there was some goodness that came out of those old days. There was some time, attention, and presence put into the process of securing, scripting and sending those cards.

Today, we claim to be clever people, efficient and high-powered with well-organized day-timers and to-do lists. But in our zeal to get things done, have we forgotten the simple art of connecting?

Let us make a firm resolve to take time to be present to the lives we live, to stop once in a while and be thoughtful and sensitive to the people we care about. Let us be good to ourselves and to the people around us.

The Ant And The Elephant: Leadership For The Self

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When I was home recovering from surgery this week, I read a book by Vince Poscente called The Ant And The Elephant: Leadership For The Self.

It’s a brilliant little parable about the power of our unconscious minds and includes a plan and tools to work intentionally with your unconscious. It illustrates how the unacknowledged aspects of ourselves can sabotage us and keep us from realizing our goals.

Leading others begins with being a leader to one’s self through a greater realization of our talents, strengths, and vision.

Vince’s teaching about increasing self-awareness aligns closely with that of our SAGE Forums https://lnkd.in/dktaE-XM. This book offers a practical plan and simple tools to transform individual and team performance.

Seven take-aways:

  1. Like the ant who learns to guide the elephant with a wise owl as his guide, humans can tap into their potential by connecting with their unconscious.
  2. Shift beliefs, attitudes, and truths so they align with your vision.
  3. Never underestimate the power of emotion.
  4. Being committed to a task means being committed to the process of commitment.
  5. Strengthen confidence by instituting pattern busters.
  6. Have an intentional strategy for responding to unforeseen events.
  7. Stay the course. Change is gradual. Gratification will eventually come.

I can’t believe it took me so long to find this book. But then I’m reminded, “when the ant is ready, the owl will appear.”
I look forward to deepening the connection to my inner elephant.

Holistic Management Annual General Meeting

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Earlier this month, I had the pleasure of presenting at the Holistic Management Annual General Meeting. https://lnkd.in/dQY3YdVp

The event was held at the Lloydminster Agriculture Exhibition Association.

There is an incredible team running this facility, a team that has been built over the past forty years through the leadership of a truly remarkable community leader, Mike Sidoruk.

In the hallway, you will find this sign:

 

We all leave a legacy. What will be yours?

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We all leave a legacy. What will be yours?

The older I get, the more the light of my success fades against the brightness of the successes of my children and grandchildren. Watching my daughters’ launch into satisfying careers brings joy beyond my own deeply fulfilling vocation. And my personal achievements pale next to my grandson’s academic and athletic accomplishments.

A wise grandfather once told me, “you can tell when you have instilled your values in your children when your grandchildren teach you what you tried to teach your children.”

Just as I take pride in my progeny’s success, I also recognize my team’s brilliance in facilitating our SAGE Forums: https://lnkd.in/dktaE-XM
Their capacity outshines my abilities, and as I realize this, it gives me a sense of satisfaction beyond my personal achievements and recognition.

Even in my speaking and workshops, satisfaction is coming from what participants discover within themselves. It appears that aging is a course in ego reduction.

As we mature, we begin to reflect on existential questions of: Why am I here? What difference am I making? What will my legacy be? If you are fortunate enough to confront these questions, you realize there is an opportunity to do good in the time you have left. This is what makes life meaningful.

Meaning is, to paraphrase Joseph Campbell, not to be sought after, but something to be experienced by being fully alive to what is in front of us at each moment. And on the journey, you begin to realize the paradox that legacy isn’t what we leave behind; it’s the difference we’re making now.

We all leave a legacy. What will be yours?

 

 

How to start a new habit.

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How to start a new habit.

Assess the quality of your life by looking at your habits. If you want to change your life, change your habits.

Here’s seven keys to changing a habit:

  1. Articulate your why. Create a compelling reason to change a habit or create a new you. And be sure the change is right for you.
  2. Think carefully before you make this agreement to yourself and scrupulously keep the agreement. Integrity and self-respect trump any result you gain from the habit.
  3. Start with one habit at a time. If you chase two rabbits, they’ll both get away.
  4. Start small and be consistent. It’s better to have a small success than a big failure. If you’ve never exercised before and you want to change this habit, don’t start by purchasing a gym membership. Start with a five minute walk every day.
  5. Let go of results. This sounds counter-intuitive but it has made a profound difference for me. Whether you are starting a habit of practicing guitar, reading books, or exercising, go for a set time each day and let go of what it is supposed to look like.
  6. Be specific at first and progress s-l-o-w-l-y. If you start walking 35 minutes/week (5 minutes/day), then increase no more than 10% per week. Next week you’ll be walking 37.5 minutes (5 min, 22 seconds/day). Within a year, you’ll be walking effortlessly for over an hour a day and loving it.
  7. Find an accountability partner – someone who will support you and help hold you accountable for keeping the promises you have made to yourself.
  8. Enjoy the self-respect that comes from the integrity of keeping a promise that’s important to you – and experience radical change in your life.

Journalling – How To Get Going And Keep Going

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Journalling – How To Get Going And Keep Going

Connection to others is critical in good leadership and starts with connection to yourself. Journalling is a great tool for self-connection.

Here are some guidelines to get you going and keep you going:

  1. Buy a nice journal. I love a good leather-covered one I can feel proud to write in.
  2. Have a regular time to write – in the morning, at the end of the day, or, for example, every Sunday morning as you reflect on the past seven days and the week ahead. I like to spend five minutes journalling when I first come in the office, before I turn on my computer. It helps me connect to myself before the barrage of the world’s demands start hitting me.
  3. Experiment with structure. Sometimes journalling is a brain dump, a process I learned from Julia Cameron. Her journalling method is three pages of stream-of-consciousness writing. Other times I use a structure of a) How am I feeling? (Including wins in the past 24 hours, lessons learned, and glitches); b) How will I show up today? c) What am I grateful for?
  4. Write less than you think you “should.” Like exercise, it’s better to have small consistent successes than big failures. Two or three sentences is great while you’re getting into the habit.
  5. Don’t show it to anyone. You aren’t writing to impress anyone. It won’t be graded. It is only for you.
  6. Don’t sweat it if journalling doesn’t work for you. It isn’t for everyone. There are lots of other tools for connecting with yourself.