Tag Archive for: Articles by David Irvine

How to Demonstrate Caring in the Workplace

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I care a lot about caring. So much so I wrote about it: Caring Is Everything: Getting To The Heart Of Humanity, Leadership, and Life. When people feel cared for, appreciated and valued, the workplace becomes a happier and more productive place. Here are five ways to help your team feel cared for:

  1. Look in the mirror. Honestly ask, “Do I care about the people on my team and what matters to them? Do I care about their success? Am I truly serving them or am I expecting them to serve me?” You can’t fake caring. People will see right through you. People will grant you a lot of grace if they know you care, but won’t give you much if they know you don’t. If you truly don’t care, do yourself and your organization a favor and get out of management.
  2. Listen. Listen. Listen. Take an honest inventory of the amount of time you spend listening to your people versus the amount of time you spend talking. Ideally, it’s good to spend at least twice as much time listening as talking. Listen to what matters to them. Get their input on how to make the workplace better. Get feedback on your leadership. It may start with complaints, then move to problem solving, but what matters is to keep the conversations going.
  3. Get to know – and respond to – people’s appreciation language. Gary Chapman and Paul White’s book, “The Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace,” explains that everyone has a unique way of feeling appreciated. Some need words of affirmation while others respond best to tangible gifts. Some need quality time and may not need praise and recognition. Others intrinsically enjoy working and seeing tasks completed. Some need to be left alone while others need hugs and handshakes. Care enough to get to know their unique nature and preferences and how to best respond to people uniquely. Don’t assume that your style is what everyone needs.
  4. Practice flexibility. Caring leadership is not the same as pleasing leadership. Leading doesn’t mean trying to make people happy. Caring means a commitment to serve, to help people get the resources they need to get their job done, not necessarily what they want. One thing the pandemic taught us is the importance of flexibility. While some positions require being in the office, others can be done remotely. To care about people, you need to be flexible in negotiating a win-win relationship.
  5. Be honest. Tell people what you know; tell them what you don’t know; and tell them why sometimes you need to withhold some information for the greater good. Set high standards. No one takes pride in doing something easy. While support statements need to accompany expectations, let people know when they aren’t meeting your expectations. Have a process for ongoing honest and mutual developmental feedback. Don’t be a “seagull manager,” where you fly around and crap on people.

Six Signs your team is in sync and working well together.

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Lots has been written about dysfunctional and problematic teams, but let’s look at indicators that your team is synchronized and working well together:

  1. Clarity and Alignment. When you ask: What’s our purpose; our vision; and what do we value, are you all on the same page and inspired by the answers?
  2. Authentic Alignment. Every person understands how their unique nature and contribution meaningfully connects to the purpose and vision of the team. People know their value as well as their values. They know that their gifts and passion are needed on the team, and that if the alignment isn’t there, they will move on to a new job.
  3. Connection, Openness, and Joy. You feel connected to each other and enjoy being together. You have fun creating good stuff together. Any tension and conflict that arises gets addressed and dealt with openly and respectfully.
  4. Boundaries and Respect. All good relationships have good boundaries. People respect each other’s NO. People look after themselves so they can be their best for the team.
  5. Accountability. People understand what is expected from each other, what they are accountable for, and have a clear process for managing and following through on expectations of each other. You have high standards and aren’t afraid to tell each other the truth.
  6. Patience, Grace, and a Commitment to Learn. While you have high standards clear agreements, you also grant each other some grace. No one gets this teamwork thing perfectly. Working well together means you’re on a journey of discovery.

CREATING A SATISFYING CAREER: How To Reclaim Your Mojo Through the Strength of Authenticity

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When my daughters were planning their careers, I referred them to a quote from American philosopher and civil rights leader, Howard Thurman: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask instead, what makes you come alive. Because what the world needs is for you to come alive.”
There lies within every person a place where, when connected to it, we feel deeply and intensely alive. When we are in this place, there is a quiet voice inside that says, “This is the real me.” Where we lose all track of time. Where we don’t tire or need anyone to motivate us. In that place we are calm, creative, compassionate, committed, and capable. We’re accountable because we know that what we are doing matters and makes a difference. This is the place you find your mojo.
When we discover this place of authenticity in our work, it is called a vocation. When our life’s calling lies outside of our paid work, we call it an avocation. Both have validity and energy.
As leaders committed to creating authentic workplaces where people are engaged, loyal, committed, and accountable, we can help people discover their “real me.” Start by asking:
  • What makes you come alive?
  • What matters to you?
  • What is your own personal why, and how is this organization supporting you to realize that why?
  • How can we together create a place where you love to work?
  • What do we need from each other to take care of each other?
One of the primary barriers to finding our authentic voice is the reactive structuring of our lives. Allowing our to-do lists and the demands in our inbox to drive our activities ensures that the expectations of others will crowd out authentic discovery and expression. Combine this with the noise of a distracted world and you’ll eventually realize, in the light of time’s perspective, the vital task we’ve pushed aside – the task of leading a life aligned with our heart.
As we emerge from a summer of rest and fresh perspectives, there is an opportunity to reset the compass of our lives, develop a new structure for staying on track with our authenticity, and recreating a workplace aligned with our true nature.
Here are a few actions to consider:
  • Set aside time to ask the questions (outlined above) of yourself. You must be intentional and deliberate about discovering your authenticity. You can’t leave it to chance.
  • Shift from the list/reactive method to a boundaried focused approach to your work. While you may have parts of your day checking off your to-do list and responding to the expectations of others, block out time each day for uninterrupted focus on what truly is important to you and to those you love and serve.
  • Assess your mental fitness plan. Many of us have a physical fitness plan, but few have a strategy and accountability plan for strengthening our mental fitness.
  • Create a community of support and inspiration. Whether in the form of guides, coaches, confidants, or accountability partners, we all need to know we aren’t alone. Authenticity is a lonely journey, and it can’t be done alone.

Hayley Wickenheiser

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I’ve had the honour of presenting with Hayley Wickenheiser at several events. She’s an incredible athlete, community leader, physician, and businesswoman who inspires audiences to give their best in everything they undertake. Regarded as one of the world’s best female hockey players, Hayley is a four-time Olympic gold medalist and has inspired young women and female athletes around the globe. Hayley stays connected to her humble Saskatchewan roots, and lives with integrity, clarity, and honesty – the making of a true leader.

Just prior to the pandemic, Hayley and I presented to the senior leadership team at Purolator. (Pictured below is Hayley playing table hockey against the CEO, John Ferguson.)

At the evening supper event, John asked Hayley a series of intriguing questions:
“How many women are invited to attend the Olympic tryouts, Hayley?”
“About 100,” Hayley responded.
“How many make the team?”
“About 30.”
“So…” John reflected, “What’s the difference between the 30 who make it and the 70 who don’t?”
“Little to do with talent,” Hayley quickly explained. “The difference was consistency and mental toughness.”

Hayley, in no way was being disrespectful to those who didn’t make the Olympic team. She has the utmost regard for every one of those incredible athletes.Her answer, however, get me thinking about the youth in my life and what I am doing to foster resilience in them.

As parents, coaches, teachers, caregivers, and leaders of young people, are we creating an environment that builds mental toughness or are we making it too easy for these kids? Are we helping them face the demands of life or teaching them to avoid the tough stuff? Are we supporting them through the challenges rather than rescuing them from the challenges?

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Leadership When People Don’t Want To Be Led

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As leaders, we impact people’s lives and it’s fulfilling when things go well. But things don’t always go well. So what do you do when someone isn’t engaged, is struggling or not showing up as you need them to?

There’s no easy answer, but here’s a few thoughts about responding to a difficult team member:

  1. Assess the context. Is the resistance/lack of accountability a change or is it their default behavior? A change can indicate a mental health challenge or something going on in their personal life.
  2. Be honest and provide an opportunity to address head-on what’s going on.
  3. Grant grace. Understand there’s usually more to the story and may be outside of your control. Just because you are in a position of leadership doesn’t mean you’re going to get people to act they way you’d like them to.
  4. Be clear. Let them know what you expect. Negotiate and define mutually agreed upon expectations. Remember: you can bring compassion to the situation without compromising your standards.
  5. Talk about consequences if resistance remains and expectations aren’t met. Consequences can involve motivators that might inspire change. They might eventually turn to termination, but you don’t have to start there.
  6. Realize that challenges are usually there to help us grow. As Eleanor Roosevelt, a woman who had a deep understanding of getting through hard times, said, “The encouraging thing is that every time you meet a situation, though you may think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it you find that forever after you are freer than you ever were before.”

Learning To Work With Anxiety – Not Against It

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As a person who has struggled with anxiety most of my life, I’ve come to learn a few things about working with it. I define it for myself as “the attempt to control an uncontrollable situation in order to feel safe.”

Getting worked up, nervously pacing, impatience, micro-managing team members, criticism, irritability, worrying, concentration difficulty, being quick to anger, unfocused busyness, putting needless pressure on others, sleepless nights are all signs of anxiety.

Three strategies you may find helpful when dealing with anxiety:

1. Recognize indicators of your anxiety. Stop and acknowledge that you’re anxious. I find it helpful to pause and simply say to myself, “I’m anxious right now. And I am committed to finding helpful ways to deal with it in this moment.” I know when we are activated it’s tough to see it. But to avoid hurting ourselves or others, we have to be deliberate and disciplined about the practice of recognition.

2. Recognize that anxiety is a part of life. It’s a coping strategy. While it may have served you in the past, it’s not likely to be helpful to you today. A certain degree of anxiety seems to come with being conscientious. It’s not anxiety that is harmful. It’s what we do with it. Take a deep breath, recalibrate, and be present and relaxed – even if you still feel anxious. Some patience and compassion is recommended. What you don’t want to do is get anxious about being anxious.

3. Ask yourself what you’re afraid of. Then ask what are you trying to control in order to alleviate that fear. Know that fear is always about something in the future. Practice staying present, take whatever action needed that’s in front of you at this moment that will help you let go of control and fear, and keep walking calmly through whatever you’re afraid of.