Looking at things objectively – It’s about awareness, ownership, and personal responsibility

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As humans, we bring our moods, perceptions, and views of the world into our interactions. It could be imposing a tone on an email or making assumptions about what someone is asking. We might come to work in a bad mood after an argument with our spouse and take it out on a team member. Maybe we spend our weekends caring for a sick parent and come to work exhausted on a Monday morning.

So how do we stay objective and take bias out of the picture?

First of all you, realize that you can’t take bias out of the picture. We are never going to be 100% objective. This doesn’t mean we’re bad people. It means we’re human.

What we can do is become more self-aware and self-responsible. Acknowledge our biases and be more honest with ourselves and the people who depend on us. We can be aware of the impact of our biases and behavior and when we find ourselves in a bad mood, for example, stop and ask what the source of the irritability is. Is there something going on in your personal life? Are you taking care of yourself? Can you set the mood aside before work?

Once you get to the source of what’s bothering you, ask yourself what you can do to resolve it so you don’t take it out on people that have nothing to do with it. Do you need to make a call and settle things with someone directly? Do you need to get more rest or take better care of your mental or physical health? Do you need to simply let it go for the day and take care of it later, so you don’t contaminate your working relationships with people who have nothing to do with it?

It’s about awareness, ownership, and personal responsibility.

LIVING AND LEADING WITH AUTHENTICITY: How We’ve Missed The Mark – And How We Can Correct It

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A lightening rod attracts power by its mere presence.
The same goes for great leaders with substance, depth, and strength of character.
Authenticity has come under considerable criticism of late – and rightly so. Leaders have exposed too much of themselves in the wrong way and have lost credibility in an effort to be “authentic.” People justify hurting people by claiming that their actions reflect their “authentic self.” Others are using authenticity as an excuse to reject any form of “impression management” and their self-centered behavior diminishes trustworthiness. The real failures are those who have learned how to fake being authentic.
The problem isn’t authenticity. The problem is that authenticity is misunderstood.
While the statement, “to thine own self be true,” can be inspirational, it’s important to understand which self you are referring to when you decide to be true to it. Are you talking about your impulsive, emotional self? Your self-centered self? Your accountable self? Your insecure self? Or your true – authentic self? And how do you know the difference? Where is your road map to discover the difference? Where are your tools?
American philosopher, William James, said “there lies within every being a place where, when connected to it, we feel deeply and intensely alive. At such moments there is a quiet voice inside that says, ‘This is the real me.’” This is the home of your authentic self. And while finding and describing this place is as difficult as it is to describe why something is beautiful, here are three clues to know you are on the path to living and leading authentically.
Authenticity means:
  1. A sincere devotion to personal growth and self-awareness. Sincere is derived from the Latin ‘sine’ (without) and ‘cera’ (wax) or without wax. According to one popular explanation, dishonest sculptors in ancient Rome and Greece would cover flaws in their work with wax to deceive the potential buyer; therefore, a sculpture “without wax” would mean honesty in its imperfection. Authenticity is indicated by a level of comfort with one’s self and one’s cracks. This comes from a life-long commitment to knowing yourself. To quote Leonard Cohen, “Forget your perfect offering. There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”
  2. A commitment to discern how you share your imperfection with the world. Authenticity isn’t about exposing yourself recklessly. Authenticity, by definition, requires a commitment to both honesty and respect. Indiscriminate spewing of your faults, weaknesses, and emotions is disrespectful to the people who depend on you. This is why a dedication to self-awareness is an indication of authenticity. Don’t turn your team into your therapist. Be 100% honest with your support system away from your work, so you can be comfortable with yourself when you get to work.
  3. Measure your life by how you make the world better. Anything short of an imperfect dedication to helping make a better world is not authentic. Caring about others and basic goodness is in our nature. Don’t mistake authenticity for a method of coping and surviving. For example, being a jerk is never authentic. No one is born a jerk. It’s not in our nature. Being a jerk is a coping response learned somewhere along the way. A sincere desire to serve a cause beyond self-interest is a necessary quality of authentic presence.

Signs of burnout: How to recognize and evaluate what to keep doing and what to let go of.

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Signs of burnout: How to recognize and evaluate what to keep doing and what to let go of.

From personal experience, I know that burnout is real. It is not to be dismissed.

Here are some signs:

  1. Lack of enthusiasm and vitality
  2. Difficulty getting up in the morning and falling asleep at night.
  3. Speaking in a monotone.
  4. Feeling bored and listless.
  5. Feeling alienated from your family, co-workers, and friends
  6. Feeling hungry but lack an appetite.
  7. Becoming depressed (the line between burnout and depression is very thin).

If you notice some of these symptoms, here’s a suggested strategy to start a recovery path:

  1. Be honest with yourself. Most people cross the line into burnout at some point in their life.
  2. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with people who depend on you. Ask them what absolutely needs to stay on your plate and what you can let go of.
  3. Get clear and ask for the support you need.
  4. Take an Energy Inventory. Assess what activities, in the last week, gave you energy and which depleted you. Ask yourself if your tiredness is “bad” tired or “good” tired. Remember: Burnout is not about hard work; it’s about heartache.
  5. Delegate everything possible that you hate doing to someone who would love doing it.
  6. Accept that guilt is inevitable for conscientious, accountable people. Just don’t put guilt in the driver’s seat. Walk through with grace.