Tag Archive for: Articles by David Irvine

Personal Leadership: What Is Enough?

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I work with some amazing leaders who, in their own unique ways, are quietly and diligently making a tremendous impact on the world. And almost all of them are exhausted. Why is that? We could certainly blame it on technology and how accessible we are to the demands of others. We could probably all benefit from a refresher course in time management. We could all get clearer about our priorities. Certainly a decrease in resources in the organizations we work in could be a contributing factor. Maybe we just live in a more demanding time.

What I submit is that one of the core reasons that people are so tired today is that we have lost connection with the experience of “enough.”

  • How much is enough service?
  • How much is enough accomplishment?
  • How much is enough money?
  • How much is enough security?
  • How much is enough success?
  • How much is enough exercise or rest or food?
  • How much is enough of anything?

In a world that demands that more is better, I think it is imperative that we grapple with these questions because the world’s standards of enough are not working. If you don’t have an inner experience of being enough, no amount of offering, success, money, or stuff in your life will ever make you feel satisfied, filled, or large enough. What is enough? If you do not know, within yourself, that you are enough, you will die of weariness, because there will always be more to do, more to have, and more to be.

Alternatively, when you know you are enough, beyond what the world tells you, then your giving, your achieving, your expanding and creating, comes from overflow, not emptiness, and the world will nourish you as you, in turn, nourish others with your presence.

My personal leadership challenge for you is to ask:

  • How do you come to know your worth away from your work?
  • What does “enough” feel like to you?
  • How do you know how much is enough?
  • How do you know you are enough?

 

How To Achieve Good Leadership: Success Beyond Success

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Good leadership starts with understanding your goals. And understanding your goals means you need to be very clear about how you define success. Below are some reflections on success that I trust will be valuable to you.

Whenever we speak of success, there are always two levels of success. The first is outer success. The second is inner – or authentic – success: success beyond success.

If you set a goal (e.g. to win a game, get a promotion, make a certain amount of money) and you achieve that goal, you are successful. But this is outer success, what the late Stephen Covey would have called your personality.

Inner, or what some call spiritual, success, is something quite different. Inner success is the kind of person you became, and the contribution you make to the world, in pursuit of your goal. Inner success is what Covey would have called your character. Inner success is independent of whether you actually achieve your goal. You can be hugely successful from an inner standpoint and still fail miserably at the outer success (case in point: Eddy the Eagle, 1988 Olympics).

Outer success is fleeting. It lasts only until the next record is broken or the next gold medal is won or the next headlines are written. Inner success, on the other hand, is far more sustainable and lasting. Inner success can last a lifetime and beyond, with a legacy (for example, my father’s character lives in me more than a quarter century after his death). Inner success is what gives you self-worth, self-respect, and sustained confidence.

In my workshops I use this exercise: Think of three people you admire. They could be real people, such as Nelson Mandela or your grandmother, or mythical characters such as Hercules or Santa Claus. For me, they would be my mother, my father, and Viktor Frankl.

Now think of the character traits that make each of your chosen characters admirable to you. For example, I admire my mother for her wisdom; my father for his compassion, and Viktor Frankl for his resiliency and dignity.

I then have my workshop participants compare these admirable traits with the typical success markers of our culture, the kind of traits featured in Fortune magazine. After doing this exercise with thousands of people, I have yet to see anyone choose characters they admire with qualities such as fame, beauty, power, youth, or wealth. It is fascinating that culturally we gravitate unconsciously to things that ultimately mean so little to us.

It is fine to have a goal of outer success, but from an inner, spiritual perspective, the purpose of having that goal is not to achieve the goal. The purpose of a goal of outer success is to inspire yourself to become the kind of person it takes to achieve it. Then, whether you achieve outer success or not, you can still have inner success, or success beyond success. This is authentic success: living your life in accord with your values – in the service of others.

To make this idea of “inner” and “outer” success real, I think of the words of Jenny Bocock, daughter of the famous Wimbledon player, Bunny Austin, who lives not far from me. Jenny writes:

“Dad said to me that when we die, God is not going to ask us how successful we have been, but how much we have cared for people. I was told this when he was inducted into the International Tennis Hall of Fame.” (He was in the top ten tennis players of the world for 10 years. He reached the finals of Wimbledon twice and was on the winning David Cup team four times.)

“People afterwards remarked on how this must have taken pressure off of me. It did. I sometimes wonder if some children of celebrities who have committed suicide might not have if they had this sentence in their lives.

What does success mean to you? What are you committed to? How does your own striving for outer success impact your leadership capacity, your ability to influence others? How about your striving for inner success? What’s the difference? What difference does it make in your leadership?

The Truth About Good Leadership: Start By Being A Good Person

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In Jim Collin’s classic book, “Good to Great,” he showed how great companies triumph over time and how long-term sustained performance can be engineered into the DNA of an enterprise from the very beginning. It’s not only a good book. It’s a great book.

In the pursuit of greatness, which Collin’s book undoubtedly will inspire, don’t forget the foundation: goodness. In a world that reveres the pursuit of greatness, basic values such as kindness, consideration, honesty, compassion, dependability, respect for others, and hard work, are undervalued. How often do we see the winners of gold medals, leaders of successful companies, and the Stanley Cup champions venerated in the headlines of our national newspapers? Compare these kinds of recognized accomplishments with people revered for being a good person, for simply exhibiting qualities of strong character.

In my workshops I use an exercise: Think of three people you admire. They could be real people, such as Abraham Lincoln or your grandmother, or mythical characters such as Hercules or Santa Claus. For me, they would be my mother, my father, and Viktor Frankl.

Now think of the character traits that make each of your chosen characters admirable to you. For example, I admire my mother for her wisdom; my father for his compassion, and Viktor Frankl for his resiliency and dignity.

I then have my workshop participants compare these admirable traits with the typical success markers of our culture, the kind of traits featured in Fortune magazine. After doing this exercise with thousands of people, I have yet to have any choose characters they admire with qualities such as fame, beauty, power, youth, or wealth. It is fascinating that culturally we gravitate unconsciously to things that ultimately mean so little to us.

What I’m saying is that the roots of great, authentic leadership are being a good person. Don’t go for greatness until others view you as exhibiting the qualities of “goodness.” There’s nothing wrong with the inspiring path of “greatness,” if that is what is important to you. But if, on the journey to success by the world’s standards (what I call outer success), you lose contact with inner success, (the realization of goodness in your life), what will you be left with?

You want to be a good leader? Start with being a good person. Then you’ll have something to stand on in the pursuit of greatness.

Granting Grace – A Key To Building An Engaged Culture

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What if we could ask for what we need and want from each other? What if we could talk openly, in the spirit of good will and respect, about what would make us happy and loyal in our workplace? What if we could then negotiate what we can and can’t do to meet these needs? What would happen to our workplaces, our communities, and our families if we all practiced being a little more honest and direct with each other in a respectful way?

We can all learn to be more direct with each other, and it takes continual practice, but there’s something more. Farm Credit Canada, an organization that practices good culture, has taught me a very important concept around building high-performance culture. One of the key principles in their cultural practices and one they work at relentlessly, is the concept of granting grace in their interactions with each other. They hold each other accountable for creating a safe environment where people can speak up without fear of repercussion.

No long ago I spent three days with an amazing team at Farm Credit, and “grace” was a central part of our conversations. They work hard at talking straight in a responsible manner. They are committed to the success of others and hold each other accountable to not engage in “conspiracies” against people. They strive for patience with themselves and others but also respectfully acknowledge when they operate outside the expectations of grace. They don’t get it perfect, but they get it right.

This kind of commitment lends itself to learning to be open and direct with each other. I love the idea of “granting grace.” I also know that it’s an area I need to continually work on. I’m certainly not as graceful in my work and in my life as I could be, especially when under pressure or in the midst of demands and deadlines.

What does “granting grace” mean to you? How do you operate with “grace” in your workplace? What effect does “grace” have on engagement, commitment, and productivity?

The New Workplace: Some Reflections on Hierarchy

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We are witnessing the birth of an entire new way of living and working together in organizations. Since the Second World War, through the tumultuous 60’s and into the age of enlightenment, we have seen an unprecedented evolution of human consciousness. We have experienced profound changes in almost every aspect of our lives. While technology and the emergence of the internet have obviously changed our lives, there has also been a more subtle, more pervasive, and even more powerful change: our independence from hierarchy.

The following is an abbreviated and rather oversimplified list of how the modern world has changed in its perception of hierarchy.

Under The Old Hierarchical Model:

  1. The hierarchy – whether in church, families, educational systems, or the workplace – has the authority.
  2. People are of unequal value, and they dominate or submit to one another.
  3. Roles are what give people power and status.
  4. People have power over each other, and their feelings of isolation, fear, anger, and distrust are denied and suppressed in the name of order.
  5. People are expected to conform, to live up to external norms.
  6. One right way exists, and the dominant person knows what it is.
  7. People deny their own experiences so as to accept the voice of authority.
  8. Security requires maintaining the status quo, as change is seen as undesirable and abnormal.
  9. Creativity, dissention, and individuality are suppressed because there is only “one right way”: the voice of authority.
  10. Loyalty is defined as devotion to authority.

Under The New Growth Model:

  1. People are their own authority, where we learn to listen and trust our own inner voice and conscience.
  2. People are of equal value, and relationships are between equals in value.
  3. Roles are distinct from power and status; leadership is about presence, not position.
  4. People feel connected to each other with an ownership of self, respect for others, and freedom of expression; the darker side of our nature is brought into the light.
  5. Each person is unique and can define him or herself from an inner source of strength and validation.
  6. Many ways usually exist, and we can use our own criteria to choose an approach.
  7. People acknowledge their own experiences to validate their own authority.
  8. Security comes from personal development and self-confidence.
  9. Circular thinking and a systems approach replaces linear thinking; new discovery, creativity, and connections are encouraged.
  10. Loyalty is defined as devotion to self in the service of others.

I was first introduced to the Growth Model over thirty years ago by one of my early mentors, Virginia Satir. As a society, we have been slowly emerging into this model over the past few decades but with a history of centuries of living in the old model, we are all relatively very new at this way of thinking.

The Growth Model, especially while we are learning to embrace it, can be difficult to accept. Teachers in our school system today ask, “Where is the respect for authority?” I suspect it is much more difficult to be a parent today than in my grandparent’s day. And it is much more difficult to create workplaces during the transition to the new model, where there is far less respect for positional power and a new loyalty is yet to fully be understood and embraced. Many are lamenting how the world is now “falling apart” in an age of self-serving, narcissistic individualism. Many are yearning to return to the “good old days,” where managing people through positional power was undoubtedly more simple and straight-forward.

I believe there is a deep, inner yearning to embrace the growth model, just as a plant yearns for the light, or a child yearns to ride a bike. But the awkwardness, the scrapes, and bruises in the early stages of bike riding invite a protective parent to return their child to familiar, safer territory. Yet, even in the chaos of the transition, we are long past the point of no return. In the spirit of transcendence and inclusion, the “old” list notes those aspects that have been outgrown. The “new” list leans in the direction of the most positive aspects of the emerging consciousness. What is the good side of the old hierarchal approach that we must safeguard? What is the darker side of the growth model that we must be aware of and work to overcome? Three challenges lie ahead as we continue to emerge into this new consciousness:

Patience with ourselves and with others is required in the transition. Living and working together without the security of a hierarchy is both daunting and awkward. To forge our way through life’s deeper terrain requires different perceptions and skills than what it took to follow someone else’s dictates. Understanding and healing the troublesome parts of ourselves and the world, as opposed to repressing and punishing the darker parts of the human experience, requires skills that few of us have been taught. A beginners mind is required as we step into this new world with openness and curiosity. Like embracing any needed change, we must be willing to let go of our need for certainty.

Embrace the paradoxes. In an effort to find freedom, the pendulum of independence has swung toward self-importance. The growth model is not about narcissism. It’s about self-expression in service. Sounds simple, but find ourself asking, “If I declare independence from the tyranny of hierarchy, will I not end up drowning in the pool of self-centeredness?” Yet if I neglect myself and serve only the greater good, what will happen to my soul? An authentic response to this paradox is to stay with the struggle by embracing the value of both. Maturity – and subsequent consciousness – asks us to live in the paradox without expecting a heavy-handed, overly simplistic solution. It seems inevitable to swing back and forth between the questions in order to continue to grow.

Trust the process. While pain and discomfort are a part of life, we must embrace our destiny – the call to evolve and emerge with a new consciousness. Just as we must embrace the paradox, we must remember that the goal is to be more authentic, fearless, and free. As we stay conscious: of our perceptions, of our biases, of our limited beliefs, of our present experience, and of our vision of a new world, growth, and a new world, is inevitable.

Self Leadership – Leading As A Work Of Art

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“One’s self is at the base of everything. Every action is a manifestation of the self. A person who doesn’t know himself can do nothing for others.” ~ Eiji Yoshikawa

Understanding leadership from the perspective of techniques and tools is like trying to appreciate a painting by analyzing the strokes or the brush of the painter. It might be interesting, but it doesn’t get to the essence of the painting or the substance of the painter.

You don’t become a painter by putting on a painter’s beret and sitting at behind an easel. You become a painter through years of disciplined action, attentive observation, thorough study, and, above all, rigorous practice.

The life of a leader is akin to the life of an artist. It’s not a destination to be achieved; it’s a journey, a continual work in progress, a life to be embraced. Of course there are techniques to be learned and tools to be developed along the way, but it ultimately comes down to one’s self, the essence of who you bring to the work.

To transform others and the world around you involves staying engaged in your own transformational work. You cannot guide others where you have not been. You earn credibility as a transformational leader by investing and engaging in your own transformational journey. Following are some disciplines for strengthening your leadership presence, your capacity to inspire and influence others through your presence:

  1. Set out on adventures.
    These could be external adventures, like taking up a new sport or instrument, climbing a mountain or starting a new career. They could also be more of an internal nature like getting through a divorce, facing an addiction, or becoming a new parent. What have you done recently where you are a “novice?” Where have you traveled to unfamiliar territory? Adventures build internal resources, compassion for others, and confidence.
  2. Embrace challenges.
    People of strong leadership presence, what some refer to as character, find a special attractiveness in difficulty, since it is only by coming to terms with difficulty that they can realize their potential. Victims and those with entitlement mind-sets never inspire anyone. Welcoming challenges as opportunities to grow give you the self-leadership courage and clarity needed to lead others.
  3. Embrace the darker side(s) of your nature.
    We all have a darker side living below what we show to the world. If we do not bring to the surface and face the this part of us that we may be unaware of, or blind to, it will bring pain to ourselves and/or others. Within this shadow side of our nature lies immense creativity, wisdom, and interconnection. Transformational leaders make room for this dark side of themselves and of the systems they lead, recognizing it for what it is: a natural part of the larger system. What worries you? What makes you anxious? What upsets you? What gives you a strong negative emotional reaction? Name it. Claim it. Learn from it. Experience what you are avoiding.
  4. Make room for reflection and stillness.
    Self-leadership, developing a stronger, more influential presence, means making time for daily solitude, silence, and the space to attend to the voice within. Spend time in nature. Create a sanctuary in your life, a place where you can get away from life’s demands and listen to the wisdom of stillness. Take time for rest, renewal, and refection in periods of months, weeks, days, or even five minutes at the beginning of a day. If you are only following the voices of the crowd around you, you aren’t leading; you are merely managing.
  5. Build a community around you.
    Who are your friends, people in your life you can be wholly yourself with, who will support you to be true to your inner voice, help you foster and express your gifts, your unique talents; people who will not be afraid to tell you the truth? Who leads you to your authentic voice? Who supports you? Who holds you accountable? How would you describe your community?
  6. Be willing to stand alone.
    Leadership means being willing to stand apart in order to impart. You can’t lead by being part of the crowd. Leadership is, at times, lonely. If you haven’t felt lonely as a leader, you haven’t gone far enough in your development.

How would you describe a “personal transformation” you have experienced in the past 1-2 years? How has your own transformational journey made you a more credible leader?  I’d love to hear from you.