In recognition of International Women’s Day, here’s honouring the women in my life who have helped shape me and make me who I am and who are putting their heart into supporting our work of bringing authenticity to the world.
When I was home recovering from surgery this week, I read a book by Vince Poscente called The Ant And The Elephant: Leadership For The Self.
It’s a brilliant little parable about the power of our unconscious minds and includes a plan and tools to work intentionally with your unconscious. It illustrates how the unacknowledged aspects of ourselves can sabotage us and keep us from realizing our goals.
Leading others begins with being a leader to one’s self through a greater realization of our talents, strengths, and vision.
Vince’s teaching about increasing self-awareness aligns closely with that of our SAGE Forums https://lnkd.in/dktaE-XM. This book offers a practical plan and simple tools to transform individual and team performance.
Seven take-aways:
I can’t believe it took me so long to find this book. But then I’m reminded, “when the ant is ready, the owl will appear.”
I look forward to deepening the connection to my inner elephant.
When I go to the gym, I’m focused and intense.
I can also be judgmental of “amateurs.”
So one day, while I was waiting for one of the weight machines, there were two seniors joking around, oblivious to the fact that I was impatiently waiting for the equipment they were “playing around on.”
I thought to myself, “Don’t you know that you’re holding me up from getting my workout in?”
Then I realized that I was so tense compared to them, and it dawned on me, what good is it to get stronger at the expense of my well-being?
Maybe they are actually getting more from the workout by having a community and taking care of their mental health.
And… who will live the longest?
Even more importantly: Who will live better?
No easy answers. But I thought it was important to raise the question.
How do you show the people you care about that you care about them?
When I was eleven, our family drove across the county to experience Expo 67 in Montreal and on to upper state New York to visit my uncle.
As part of our visit, Uncle Reed took us into New York City for the day. My dream was to go to the top of the Empire State Building. My brother (who was four years older) had a dream, too – to see the New York Stock Exchange.
We were late getting to the Empire State Building and had to rush to make it to the stock exchange before it closed. So we only had time to get to the 86th floor observatory before leaving for the stock exchange. I never made it to the top. I remember crying all the way down.
This story has become legendary in our family. My daughters will tell you, to this day, that I felt sorry for myself for years that my brother always got his way and I always got the short end of the stick. They reminded me often that I had carried it long enough and it was time to let it go.
We’ve traveled many places as a family, but we have never been to NYC together, so when my daughter was there a few years ago, she texted me the image below with a message:
“Dad, you don’t need to be sad any longer that you didn’t make it to the 102nd floor of the Empire State Building. I brought you up here with me.”
When it comes to caring about the people we care about, the little things are the big things.
#caring #authenticity #authenticleadership
What are the stories that run your life?
After reading Dain Dunston’s thought-provoking book, Being Essential: Seven Questions for Living and Leading with Radical Self-Awareness, I was intrigued by the notion that our stories can unconsciously drive our lives. So we best be sure that we know what these narratives are and that they are true for the context we are currently living.
At four years old, I was incubated in an oxygen tent with a poliovirus infection. It created significant trauma, as I didn’t see my parents for weeks. In those days no visitors were allowed. I remember lying there alone crying myself to sleep, wondering if they would ever return.
After I went home, my arms and legs were very weak, so my father, a gymnast, coached me on the parallel bars and tumbling mat in our basement each day to help rebuild my strength.
And when I was bullied and teased at school, attributed, at least in part, to the residue of a weakened body, my dad would say, “Don’t pray for the world to get easier, pray for you to get stronger.”
The result of years of passionate dedication was a track scholarship at university. I credit my ability to overcome adversity through discipline and focused work to my father’s patient and persistent support and love. My commitment and the results that followed increased my confidence as I went on to build a successful speaking and consulting business.
However, in the process, I unconsciously created a story that my worth is dependent on what I can prove to the world I can overcome and achieve.
While the story served a vital purpose at the time, it eventually exceeded its function and led to unbridled ambition and eventual workaholism, tension, neglected relationships, a life out of balance, and burnout.
As I find my security from within, the narrative is now shifting from proving myself to expressing myself, from uncontrolled obsession to meaningful, focused contribution in my work.
The journey was enhanced by Dain’s insights. I recommend his book to those committed to living an authentic life with greater self-awareness.
