It is our CHOICES that show who we truly are, more than our ABILITIES.

Harry Potter

Three decades ago, after an extended bout of depression, a struggling business, and a lengthy fight with addiction, I made a decision that changed my life. I didn’t “hope” my life would get better, because it wouldn’t. I decided it was going to get better. I decided, once and for all, that all blame was a waste of time. I decided that I was not going to be the product of my upbringing or my circumstances. Instead, I would develop from the choices I make in response to my circumstances. I decided that, if I was going to have a good day it wouldn’t depend on what was going on around me; it would depend on the choice I made. I decided to ask for help. And deciding made all the difference.

Spending the past thirty years in a recovery community I have come to know first-hand that small decisions truly unlock big potential. Every day I decide:

Will I take the path that leads to insanity and death, or will I take the path that leads to a reasonably fulfilled and useful life? Will I remain a sick person or will I choose to be a useful, contributing citizen?

When it’s a life-or-death decision you realize the power of a choice. One decision will shape our lives and direct our futures. One decision opens new possibilities while closing others. By making conscious choices, we exercise control over our paths and become active creators of our destinies rather than victims of our circumstances.

The Cost of Unconscious Choosing

Operating unconsciously means letting old habits, social conditioning, or fleeting emotions steer our actions. This can lead to patterns that don’t serve us: staying in unfulfilling jobs, repeating unhealthy relationships, or neglecting our well-being. When outcomes disappoint us, it’s easy to feel like life is happening to us, not for us. We become passive participants, attributing our dissatisfaction to bad luck or external forces.

From Victimhood to Mastery

The antidote to being a passive participant is conscious choice. When we pause and reflect on our motivations and intentions, we reclaim authorship of our lives. Even small decisions—like choosing to respond with kindness instead of irritation, or dedicating time to a personal goal—can have profound ripple effects. By becoming aware of our choices, we shift from being victims of circumstance to masters of our fate.

Empowerment Through Awareness and Courage

This awareness of our choices begins the journey to empowerment. By regularly checking in with ourselves—asking, “Why am I doing this?” or “Is this aligned with my values?”—we create space between stimulus and response. In that space lies our power to choose differently, to break free from limiting patterns, and to steer our lives in the direction we truly desire.

Choice is a fundamental human right and catalyst for personal growth. Not being conscious of our choices, however, can quietly erode our sense of control, leaving us feeling victimized without even knowing it. But by cultivating awareness and intentionality, we transform from passive recipients of circumstance into active creators of our destinies.