Tag Archive for: strength

Teamship – The Undervalued Virtue Of Being a Great Team Player

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We talk a lot about leadership but how can you be an outstanding teammate?

We don’t celebrate outstanding “teamship” enough. And just as leadership is contextual (qualities vary from team to team), so is teamship.

Here’s a process that may be helpful:

  1. Brainstorm qualities considered valuable on your team, along with behaviors demonstrating those qualities (e.g. caring, accountable, encouraging, supportive, attentive, etc.)
  2. Take five minutes before every team meeting to tell a story about a team member who demonstrated one of these qualities. Shine a light on success.
  3. When someone on the team demonstrates one of these attributes, let them know how much you appreciate them and why.

Acknowledging and appreciating people for their contributions is not a well-developed muscle in our society. It takes practice and vigilance to strengthen our capacity. But maybe teamship requires at least the same attention that we give to leadership.

Both are required to create a great team.

Why leadership training and development are so critical and why our teams deserve it.

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Three things I’ve learned about personal and leadership development:

  1. The greatest gift you can give someone is your own personal development. And one of the greatest gifts you can give your team is the gift of learning. Becoming a stronger, wiser, kinder person doesn’t just benefit you, it benefits those around you.
  2. Don’t mistake vertical growth for horizontal growth. I know of leaders who go on annual development courses to go deep into what we used to describe as horizontal growth. But now, podcasts, TED talks, Youtube videos and books, though useful, don’t necessarily allow you to go deeper. There’s a difference between learning “about leadership” (horizontal growth) and true leadership development (vertical growth).
  3. Development keeps us fresh, engaged, and relevant. Don’t put off developing yourself or your team. Leadership and personal development gives us perspective and strategies to navigate our world. Jim Rohn emphasized the crucial choice between discipline and regret: “We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.”

When is help not helpful as a leader?

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We raised chickens on the farm growing up. It’s painful to watch a chick hatch when you’re a born caregiver like me. One day I “helped” a chick by breaking the egg for it. To my horror, it died.

On that fateful day I learned that sometimes help isn’t always helpful. Sometimes people need to go through the struggle to gain the strength to succeed. I see this when we do too much for kids. We call it snowplow parents when we prepare the road for the child rather than prepare the child for the road. Snowplow parenting and snowplow leadership can lead to entitlement, anxiety from a lack of confidence to deal with the reality of life, and burned out leaders.

Snowplow leadership is always fueled by caring, but expressed through overprotective.

What might you be doing as leaders to help your teams too much and thereby have them miss out on growth opportunities?

What does it take to be a good listener?

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When a friend asked if my ability to listen came naturally or I had to intentionally learn it, her question got me thinking.I certainly don’t see myself as a great listener all the time. I have to keep working at it.

I developed my skill of listening when I was an insecure kid. Riveted with fear and self-doubt, it was simply safer to listen than speak and risk looking like a fool. Listening became my way of hiding from the world.

To this day it’s easier to listen and empathize with others than articulate my thoughts and emotions, particularly in an unrehearsed one-on-one conversation.

It turns out this skill was developed through adversity. A liability can be transformed into an asset. It has obviously been a strength in the work I do, but I have to be careful when it exceeds its function and keeps me from risking fully in life.

How To Be Authentic About Mental Health In The Workplace

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According to a recent HBR article, up to 80% of people will experience a diagnosable mental health condition over the course of their lifetime, whether they know it or not and almost 60% of employees have never spoken to anyone at work about it. It means that the effects of the stigma still loom large.

I have worked with my own depression and anxiety most of my life. While I can’t offer a prescription, I hope my experience can shed some light on this vitally important topic.

A few things I’ve learned on my journey:

  1. It’s okay not to be okay. Having inhuman expectations of always being “on our game” actually perpetuates mental health challenges.
  2. Admit when you need help. Help might mean a supportive ear in the office or a conversation with an outside professional. Having the courage to ask for help is a strength, not a weakness.
  3. Don’t let labels define you. I don’t believe there is such a thing as a depressed or anxious person. There are only people who have to deal with depression or anxiety.
  4. Compassion is critical to healing. Judgement perpetuates the problem. The only thing worse than anxiety is getting anxious about being anxious. With some help, courage, and a lens of self-acceptance, you’ll get through whatever you are dealing with.
  5. Uncover the gifts. Every blessing comes with a curse and every curse comes with a blessing. Working with mental health challenges means discovering the treasures in the darkness.
  6. Have a strength building system. Just as a physical fitness program is good for your health, so is a personalized mental fitness program. Mine includes a community of support, regular exercise, daily meditation and walks outside, and paying careful attention to what I eat.
  7. Don’t compromise work expectations. While there are times when you need to step away from your job to get renewed perspective and support, it’s good for our mental health to step up to the plate and do our best in our jobs. It good to be challenged in an encouraging, supportive environment. Good work is good for our well-being.