Tag Archive for: Teachers

Leadership – Connecting Is At The Core

Life depends on connections, and the quality of your life depends on the quality of your connections. Every system depends on connections. Circulatory systems, nervous systems, organizational systems, ecosystems, family systems. You name it – it’s about connection. If you can’t make a connection, not much else matters.

All the people in my life that I call a leader created a place where I belonged. And connection was at the core.

My grade 1 teacher, Mrs. Betker, cared about me. I was an anxious, shy kid, and in her class I felt safe. My grade 7 teacher, Miss Arnold, took time after class to help me write better. And my high school football coach, Mr. Gustafson, inspired me with a vision for my contribution on the team and a belief in myself. He took the time to know me and know what I could contribute best.

Compassion, humanity, grace, forgiveness, togetherness – unfortunately, these are not words that describe our world. We’re divided by hate and fear rather than united by love and empathy.

But not on Ted Lasso. The show provides a respite from all of that. More importantly, it reminds us what we could do if only we all tried to follow Coach Lasso’s lead. In the series, we see Ted’s capacity to create commitment through caring. His infectious positivity inevitably brings out the good in those around him, even those reluctant to embrace him. By doing so they all create a better, more loving, more welcoming place.

With all the important talk about diversity, equity, inclusion and treating people fairly, if employees still don’t truly feel that you care and they belong, organizational efforts are missing the mark.

Leadership By Modeling The Way: Let’s Choose Courage – Together

As a parent, I have learned that children are great imitators. The key is to give them something great to imitate. Michelle Skene, principal of The Ridge at Kanata Montessori School, where my daughter teaches, sent an inspiring note to parents as they prepare to send their children back to school this week. Her message reminded me of what it takes to be an authentic leader right now. Not just in the home and in the school, but also in the workplace.
“During challenging times,” wrote Michelle, “children of all ages look to their parents and adults for guidance. They observe carefully how we act and take their lead from us. They learn from what we do far more than from what we say. If we are patient and positive, they will be patient and positive.” If we are critical and negative, they will adopt the same approach. If we are fearful and hesitant, they will be fearful and hesitant. If we are courageous and decisive, they will follow suit.
Michelle then challenged her students’ parents to begin the new year with a renewed commitment to serve our children by role modeling the people we want them to become. “Your children and our students need us more than ever to be at our best and we will not disappoint them.”
This is the work of an authentic leader. You can inspire the people around you by being the change you want to see in others.
While our public health leaders are asking us to do what’s best for society by following public health protocols, no one is asking us to be afraid. Of course, it is natural to be fearful in new and unfamiliar territory. But we can decide to be courageous even in the midst of anxiety and uncertainty. We aren’t born courageous; courage is an inner muscle we strengthen by learning to deal with difficult situations. Growth lives outside the comfort zone.
This is a time when we are being sorely tested. And courage can be displayed in ways large and small every day. Courage is not the absence of fear. It’s learning to overcome it. Courage is also about accepting that we can’t always get everything we want and have things the way we want them to be. Nothing is ideal for anyone these days. Hardships are a part of life. Coming to grips with all this will be good for us – now and in the long run.
What we are dealing with today, at least in this country, is mostly about inconvenience and annoyances more than anything else. Sure, there will be severe economic and mental health challenges in the days ahead, but with our courage and compassion we will get through this in our own imperfect way.
Authentic leadership is about modeling the way. Let’s choose courage. Let’s lean into what we are afraid of. Let’s show ourselves and those around us that we can do this – and do it together

Authentic Leadership Lessons From The Dead Poets Society – What will your verse be?

This past week I was in Ottawa visiting my daughter, Hayley, who is proudly starting her teaching career in a Montessori high school. She finished her dual degree in Education and Arts this past year and is a passionate, purpose-driven new teacher.

In our conversations I asked Hayley about her vision for herself as a new educator. She referred me to a scene in Peter Weir’s 1989 wonderful film, Dead Poets Society. Set in 1959 at the fictional elite conservative Vermont boarding school, Welton Academy, it tells the story of an English teacher who inspires his students through his teaching of poetry. Hayley was inspired by the movie when we watched it many years ago. In one scene, John Keating (played by Robin Williams) teaches his pupils the reason for reading and writing poetry by quoting Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass.

“We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute,” explains the teacher. “We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business, engineering; these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love; these are what we stay alive for.”

To paraphrase Whitman:

“O me! O life! of the questions of these recurring.

Of the endless trains of the faithless.

Of cities filled with the foolish…

What good amid these, O me! O life?

Answer: That you are here. That life exists and identity.

That the powerful play goes on, And you may contribute a verse.

That the powerful play goes on, And you may contribute a verse.”

The teacher then stopped and asked his students to reflect upon a life-changing question: “What will your verse be?”

The scene has applicability not only for high achieving high school students but also for those who are committed to live authentically. Authenticity asks us to look within our heart and soul, and to stop long enough to ask the tough questions:

  • What is it that you care most deeply about?
  • What in your life is calling you – beyond what others expect from you?
  • How aligned are you with the life you are meant to be living?
  • What’s the difference between living in the midst of the tyranny of the urgent, and living with a sense of purpose?
  • What do you most need to do in your life?
  • How are you supporting others to find their voice?

What will your verse be?

Happiness: A Key To Success – Ten Ways To Live A Happier Life

We’re all interested in making our workplaces more productive and successful. Most people believe that success leads to happiness, but the truth is happiness is the precursor to success, not the result. When you are happier, your success rates increase, according to research done by Shawn Achor at Harvard University. Happy sales people outsell their unhappy colleagues. Students who are happy out-perform their unhappy peers. Happy doctors make more accurate diagnoses than unhappy doctors. Happy people are healthier people. The list goes on and on. The best part is that this isn’t just a motivational speech – it’s science. It’s how our brains work. See: http://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/complaining-rewires-your-brain-for-negativity-science-says.html for some fascinating findings.

Here are ten strategies for living a happier life.

  1. Take 100% responsibility for your own happiness. If you aren’t happy, don’t expect anyone else to make you happy. I have certainly done my share of blaming others and myself for the way I feel. The trap is giving over my power to what other people say, to what other people do, to the circumstances around me – and becoming a victim. A happy or unhappy life is your own creation. If you remember this, you won’t find fault with anybody or anything, including yourself. You are your own best friend, even as you decide to learn to take responsibility for your happiness.
  2. Decide to be happy. That’s right. Happiness is a choice, a decision. It’s an inside job. You don’t need your external environment or circumstances to be different in order to be happy. I’ve met people who are dealing with cancer or are in the midst of a divorce or financial difficulties, but remain happy. Don’t wait for retirement or a better job or a better house or a better marriage to make you happy. If you aren’t happy now, you won’t be happy in the future. As Abraham Lincoln said, “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Happiness comes from within; it is independent of your externals. Happiness is not a destination; it’s method of travel.
  3. Accept unhappiness as a part of life. Where did we ever get the notion that we should happy all the time? One of life’s purposes is to learn and grow, and that won’t happen if life is always easy. “Life is difficult,” wrote Scott Peck. “Once you understand and accept that, then life is no longer difficult.” Learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Otherwise you’ll never grow, much less experience a lot of happiness in your life. Happy people aren’t attached to being happy all the time, just like they aren’t attached to the externals in their life to make them happy. They know happiness will return after the inevitable slumps. Extend some grace to yourself when you are unhappy, and you’ll be kinder to others in the process.
  4. Have a purpose that inspires you. What inspires you to get up early, to go the extra mile, to learn the extra skills? How can you be happy without a dream, without hope, or a vision beyond your own self-interest and daily to-do lists? Having a sense of purpose beyond your own self-interest and day-to-day chores gives you a reason to be happy. Why do you get out of bed in the morning? If you can’t answer that question – beyond heading for the bathroom – there’s some work to be done. What’s important is not to blame others for your lack of purpose. Even a simple purpose to make the day better for your colleagues or customers can be a good place to start.
  5. Maintain your self-respect through integrity. Integrity is about living your life in alignment with your values, resulting in the self-respect that sustains happiness. Self-respect emerges from the integrity of keeping promises to yourself and others – being a person that can be counted on. A great way to build self-respect is to hold yourself accountable for consistent disciplines that are aligned with your values. Maintaining consistent habits – such as a regular exercise regime, a consistent spiritual practice, a habit of studying or developing a talent – in the face of the fluctuating demands and emotions of life will help to keep your integrity, and thus your self-respect, in tact. Learning to live a disciplined life – choosing character over comfort – fuels self-respect and subsequent happiness.
  6. Don’t use unhappiness as a motivator. Our society is heavily conditioned not to change until we are unhappy enough. We frighten ourselves out of smoking cigarettes using threats of emphysema and lung cancer. We yell at our kids hoping that if we cause them enough pain they’ll change. You don’t have to cause suffering to yourself or those around you in order to change. You can make changes in your life even when you are choosing to be happy.
  7. Practice service. Happy people are givers, people who give for the sake of giving. Bring a servant heart to your life. Look around and you will find all kinds of ways to make the world a better place. Be a builder, not a destroyer. Be a giver, not a taker. Chose service over self-interest. Bring an abundant mind-set to everything you do. Self-centered people who live in a state of entitlement are not happy people. Dr. Menninger, the renowned psychiatrist, was once asked what he would recommend if someone were having a nervous breakdown. He said he would tell them to leave their house, cross the railroad tracks to find someone in need, and help them.
  8. Act your way into right feelings; don’t feel your way into right actions. Don’t wait for happiness to come to you. Take the right action, and happiness will result. When feeling unhappy, show caring and kindness for someone else. Be cheerful, even if you don’t feel like it. Put in a good days’ work. Take the right action, and the feeling of happiness will follow – eventually.
  9. Hang out with happy people. If you swim in a cesspool it won’t take long before you stink. Get rid of the complainers, the blamers, and the people who pull you down, and start hanging around people who challenge you, inspire you, and are fun to be with. Happy people care about others so it doesn’t take long to feel a part of the happy crowd.
  10. Choose gratitude. If you can’t quite get your head around choosing happiness, start with gratitude. Don’t wait for gratitude in order to be happy. Be grateful now. You can always find a reason to be grateful. Remember the old saying, “I used to complain I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet!”

Happiness is like a muscle that, for most of us, could use some developing. You can train your brain to be happy just as you can train any muscle to perform a challenging task. It starts with a simple decision that you are going to practice happiness, even when you might feel sorry for yourself. For some of us, this training comes more easily than for others. But stick with it. There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.

Mentor Leaders – Lessons From School Teachers

I always love working with teachers. Like every profession, there are good teachers and bad teachers, but I have learned a lot over the years about leadership from having teachers in my leadership development programs. In Oprah’s final show, she introduced and praised her grade four teacher, an early “liberator” who made her feel valued. Think about your own teachers. There are those who just meet the curriculum requirements and help you get into the next grade, while others inspire you, build your character, and mentor you to be a better person, not just a better student. And think about the bosses you’ve had. Some merely help you get your work done, some get in your way, but some change your life. Some help you be a better employee, while others help you be a better person.

How is it that some teachers are merely teachers, but others are leaders, mentors, and life-changers? And how is it that some bosses are merely bosses, while others influence and build your moral fiber, model and teach new attitudes and behaviors, and create a constructive legacy for future generations? It is this distinction that makes a “mentor leader.”

While there are many leadership practices that amplify one’s impact on others, “mentor leaders” possess three qualities of leadership that exemplify their presence:

1) Leaders who make a difference are authentic. They are human, and humble, and present. They also aren’t perfect or attempt to create an illusion of perfection. To impact others, you can’t be phony. People will see right through it. By being who they are, they create a space where others are inspired to also be authentic. Authentic people love what they do and are open to learning about themselves. They are inspired by a purpose and a passion and as a result, they inspire others.

2) Leaders who make a difference are accountable. They can be counted on and don’t make promises they aren’t prepared to keep. They create a place where blame is viewed as a waste of time. They have high standards, both for themselves and those around them. It’s inspiring to be around people you can count on. You aren’t a leader until someone says you are, and you won’t earn the credibility to influence and be trusted if people can’t count on you.

3) Leaders who make a difference care. They care about their work and they care about the people around them. They understand that leading is largely a matter of caring about people, not manipulating or controlling them. Leaders who care measure their success by the trust they build and the value they bring to the lives of others. They are committed to serve. Mentor leaders know that their work is a means to a higher end and put people above products and processes. It’s about changing lives.

Great leadership goes well beyond merely “getting the job done,” and cannot be reduced to technique or position or power. Great leadership inspires others and comes from the strength of one’s identity and integrity – their presence. When teachers possess this presence and inspire it in their students, we are truly fortunate to have them in our lives. The same goes for the leaders in our life and in our work who can help us reach unimaginable potential.