Tag Archive for: Trust

Cultivating Trust: The Invisible Foundation of Thriving Communities and Organizations

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The tightness in my chest began long before we reached the cave entrance in the Wasatch Mountains in Utah. The word claustrophobia – a condition I had struggled with all my life – was clamoring in my head. Yet there I stood, about to descend into the darkness, with my daughters at my side. I had promised myself this trip would be about more than adventure; it would be about courage, about proving that fear didn’t have to rule my life.

Our guide, Royce, met us with quiet authority. He didn’t rush or talk too much. His calm was steadying—a quiet confidence that came not from bravado, but from experience and compassion. I really thought that bravery would dissolve my fear, but when I looked into the blackness of that cave I folded over on the ground. The girls helped me up and Royce came over. “You okay?” he asked gently.

“I can’t do this.” I replied. “I’m claustrophobic and I can’t go in there.”

He looked me in the eye as he explained each step, and somehow, I believed him when he said clearly and confidently, “You can do this. I’ve got you. You aren’t alone. I’m going to give you the light. I want you right up front, right beside me. We’ll do this together.”

As we descended into the narrow opening, sunlight fading behind us, I felt the air thicken. Royce’s steady presence was like an anchor. Somewhere deep in that silent, suffocating darkness with only the flashlight in my hand and a guide beside me, I realized that trust is not about the absence of fear—it’s about believing someone will stand with you through it.

Trust is the silent architect of every meaningful human endeavor. Whether in friendships, families, workplaces, or communities, trust forms the scaffolding that supports progress, collaboration, and fulfillment. Trust enhances and multiplies the effectiveness of communities and organizations.

When trust is present, collaboration flourishes and siloed thinking fades away. Difficult conversations become stepping-stones to growth, not fuel for conflict. People are more willing to take creative risks, knowing that mistakes will be treated as learning opportunities rather than cause for blame. Teams can quickly adapt to change rather than being bogged down by second-guessing and micromanagement.

At its core, trust is a belief in and a reliance upon someone or something. To believe in someone comes from sensing a quiet integrity that is independent of titles or talk. It’s the instinctive trust that their actions align with deep values, even when no one is watching. You know you can rely on someone when they consistently show up on time, honor their promises without excuses, and competently deliver what they commit to do. We build that reliance through repeated proofs of accountability, creating a foundation of trust.

For organizations, trust is the lubricant that enables teams to work together effectively and to innovate boldly. It is the soil in which relationships grow, resilience flourishes, and creativity takes root. Trust is also a delicate flower. What takes forty years to build can be destroyed by one decision.

How to Make Trust Real

Trust does not simply appear; it is cultivated through small, consistent actions over time.

  1. Be humble. Humility is a true evaluation of conditions as they are; the willingness to face the brutal facts. It means having enough inner confidence that enables you to be open to expose your blind spots without defensiveness, while valuing others’ perspectives and contributions as equal or greater than your own. Being humble means having the inner confidence to extend trust before you expect it.
  2. Be vulnerable. Take the time to share your experiences, your values, your challenges, and your uncertainties appropriately. Being vulnerable means apologizing when you make a mistake and welcoming feedback.
  3. Be accountable. Don’t ever make a promise you don’t intend to keep. Honor your agreement, no matter how small. Hold high standards for yourself. We don’t earn trust be doing what’s easy. We earn trust be doing what we agreed to. Remember: you are the only person who cares why you let someone down.
  4. Be present. Put your cell phone in your desk drawer, get out of your office, and take time to listen to people; give your undivided attention, genuinely value the perspective and opinions of others, and be emotionally available—without distractions or mental multitasking.
  5. Be generous. Bring a generous, servant heart to your work. Think of ways you can bring value to others rather than what you can get from others. Be a giver not a taker. Grant grace by extending unmerited kindness, forgiveness, or understanding, especially when someone has wronged you or fallen short.
  6. Be curious. Approach others with genuine, open-ended questions and a desire to understand their perspectives without judgment or preconceived notions. Be a life-long learner, committed to always improving
  7. Be responsible. Rather than waiting for or expecting others to meet your needs, choose to be answerable for the greater good. Replace entitlement with gratitude. See all blame as a waste of time. Instead of waiting to be told, take initiative. See it. Own it. Solve it.
  8. Be loyal in people’s absence. Uphold the dignity and respect of others by speaking positively or defending them when they aren’t present to do so themselves. Rather than talking about people, spend time talking about solutions.
  9. Be consistent. Consistency in words and actions allows others to predict and rely on you. Consistency is poise under pressure. Show up consistently – even when it isn’t comfortable, painless, or popular.
  10. Be honest. Being honest means communicating truthfully and transparently. But honesty is also about embracing the bad news. It’s courageously facing the demands of reality, whether problems, failures, or others’ behaviors—without denial, distortion, or avoidance.

Earning trust means being strong enough for others to depend on you while vulnerable enough to relate to. It’s not about pretentious perfection. It’s about authentic presence.

In an age of skepticism, fostering genuine trust is more vital and more challenging than ever. Cultivating trust – the invisible foundation of thriving communities and organizations – is both an act of courage and an act of love.

If you see someone across the room that you’ve never met, could you build trust with them in ten minutes?

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In ten minutes you couldn’t build enough trust to hire them, marry them, or invest your money with them, but you CAN move the trust needle.

Here’s how:

  1. Reach out. Waiting and hope are not good trust building strategies. Introduce yourself. Put yourself out there.
  2. Extend trust. People either distrust you until proven otherwise or trust until you proven otherwise. You’ll have a much better chance of building trust when you come from the latter approach.
  3. Be curious. Instead of trying to impress and be interesting, put your focus on being interested. Ask questions. Seeking to understand through listening to find common ground is one of the best ways to make deposits in the trust account.
  4. Demonstrate Caring. You can’t fake this one. If you don’t care, people will sense it, and if people know you care they are more likely to reciprocate trust. Demonstrate caring by remembering names and showing concern about what’s going on in their life. But when you care you don’t have to worry about demonstrating it. It will naturally come through.

Psychological Safety: It’s About Good Leadership

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Psychological safety, no matter how you spin it, boils down to basic good leadership. And good leadership is best measured by one question: Do people feel safe to bring you the bad news?

There’s always bad news. People make mistakes. Expectations aren’t met. Frustrations arise.

Don’t gauge the health of your leadership by the amount of bad news, but by how people deal with it. If you aren’t hearing bad news maybe people don’t feel safe to tell you the truth. You can’t simply have an “open door policy” and expect that people will bound through that door. You have to get out of your office, engage, be intentional about listening to concerns, genuinely care about your people, value their input, and, above all, be honest about mistakes you make. You have to model bringing bad news responsibly – without blaming or criticizing.

Good leaders who make it safe to bring the bad news unlock potential, foster trust, drive innovation, and improve team performance.

What are you doing to make it safe for people to bring you the bad news?

As leaders, is there value in sharing our mistakes, or is it okay to keep some things private?

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Sharing mistakes can foster a culture of learning, trust, and psychological safety within an organization. When leaders openly discuss their errors, it encourages team members to take risks, be innovative, and learn from failures without fear of punishment. Sharing mistakes demonstrates confidence, promotes humility, fosters collaboration, and improves performance through better problem-solving and faster resolution of issues. Sharing mistakes is critical to create a climate of collaboration and discovery.

It’s not appropriate to share mistakes in order to get unnecessary sympathy or to share confidential information. Sharing mistakes has to serve the team. It won’t make your team stronger by confessing you made a bad personal financial investment or you treated your spouse poorly before you came to work.

How do you discern between what needs sharing in the workplace and what is better kept private?

The relationship between accountability and grace – when to hold the line and when to let it go

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When our daughter was a teenager she asked to change her curfew for a special event. We wrestled with the decision as she took the time to build her case. We eventually changed the curfew, and to this day I don’t know if it was the right decision. Often there is no “right” decision, but going through the struggle of the decision gave our daughter a clear message -that we care.

If you are blindly pleasing people or thoughtlessly and continuously coming down on people, you likely aren’t building a high trust culture. Sometimes you simply don’t know when to hold the line and when to let it go. But if you are invested in the struggle, people will know you care and will lean into trusting you – and you will ultimately get the desired results from your people.

Trust may not be what you think it is.

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Like so many words, trust is both over-rated and misunderstood. I often hear, “I’m not going to engage here because there’s no trust,” or “We have to work on getting trust before we can achieve results.”

One thing I know about trust is that it is not a prerequisite. Trust, like confidence, isn’t something you need before you do something. Instead, do something right and trust will follow. If you want trust before you take a risk, there’s no risk. There’s no action. And there’ll be no trust.

Instead of waiting for, or worrying about, trust, get to work on a worthwhile project and trust will emerge from your actions. Be intentional about building cohesiveness through clear expectations, empathic communication and the safety to speak up, and trust will be your reward.

In short, the feeling of trusting someone is built on right actions. You don’t feel your way into right action. You act your way into right feelings.

And getting trust leads to more trust. Trust begets trust.