I love books.

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I particularly love sitting down each night with a real book.

Some of the books I’ve read so far this year:

Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted. By Suleika Jaouad. This is a deeply moving memoir of illness and recovery that traces one young woman’s journey from diagnosis to remission to re-entry into “normal” life.

Bravey, by Alexi Pappa. A record-holding Olympic runner and critically lauded actress, filmmaker, and writer shares her mental and physical health challenges and her healing journey.

The Anxious Generation, by Jonathon Haidt. A generation-defining investigation into the collapse of youth mental health in the era of smartphones, social media, and big tech—and a plan for a healthier, freer childhood. A must-read for all parents.

The War of Art, by Seven Pressfield. A powerful and inspiring examination of the internal obstacles to success and shows how to identify and unlock the inner barriers to creativity.

Freedom and Accountability at Work, by Peter Koestenbaum and Peter Block. This classic and profound book offers a new perspective for viewing the workplace and a better understanding of how to reclaim your freedom through accountability.

A World Waiting To Be Born: Civility Rediscovered. Scott Peck wrote this book thirty-five years ago. It offers a much-needed prescription for our today’s deeply ailing society.

The High Price of Materialism, by Tim Kasser. A scientific explanation of how our contemporary culture of consumerism and materialism affects our everyday happiness and psychological health.

Do you really have to be vulnerable to be a leader?

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Yes.

If you want people to trust you, buy into your vision, and engage with you. But know what vulnerability is and what it isn’t.

Vulnerability is not: bringing weakness and problems to your team, lowering your standards, abandoning mental toughness, showy expressions of emotions, or saying everything you think and feel.

Vulnerability is about being open with your team in the words and actions of:

  1. Your Vision. People need to know why the work you are doing is important to you.
  2. Your Values. They need to know what standards you will hold yourself accountable to.
  3. Your Requests. Your team needs to know they are needed and valued for their contribution.
  4. Your Mistakes. No one will think less of you when you admit you are wrong, apologize, and show sincere commitment to do better.
  5. Your Imperfections. No one’s perfect. Be open to see blind spots and be willing to do something about them.
  6. Your Warmth. Take the time to show you care through kindness and genuine interest. If you don’t care, give up the mantle of leadership.
  7. Your Courage. Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s showing people that you are committed to overcome it.

What are leaders accountable for?

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When you move into a position of leadership, you don’t get more power; you get more accountability.

Six key accountabilities that come with leadership:

  1. Strong character. The best leaders are integrated leaders. They live in alignment with their values. They earn respect from others through their own self-respect.
  2. Modeling personal development. Positional leaders set the tone of the culture. The best gift to your team is your own development that will inspire passion around you.
  3. An ownership mindset. The best leaders understand that all blame is a waste of time. They foster personal responsibility by modeling the way.
  4. A commitment to the strengths of team members. Most of us have little sense of our unique abilities. The best leaders build on people’s strengths, not their weaknesses.
  5. A results orientation. The best leaders have high standards and finish well. They are committed to building a culture oriented toward results.
  6. A servant mentality. Servant leadership focuses on supporting and empowering others to achieve results rather than accumulating power or personal gain.

If you are committed to being an accountable leader, join me in my complimentary webinar on March 28: https://davidirvine.com/complimentary-webinars/

Five Common People Myths

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  1. You can fix people if you send them for coaching or therapy.
  2. If you want to make changes in your life, strengthen your weaknesses.
  3. To show care and support, make it easier for people.
  4. Tough conversations harm relationships.
  5. When someone’s personal life is a mess, it doesn’t necessarily affect their work.

Five Truths About People

  1. None of us need “fixing.” However, when motivated, coaching or therapy can help develop self-awareness and personal growth.
  2. Strengthening weakness is a bad investment of time and energy. Instead, invest in strengthening strengths and delegating weaknesses to someone whose strength is your weakness.
  3. You don’t support people by lowering your standards or making it easier for them. You support people by being in their corner in tough times.
  4. Tough conversations, if done effectively, will strengthen relationships.
  5. Life is one indivisible whole. Any area in your life that is in shambles will impact every area of your life. And improving any area in your life will also improve every area in your life.

Become a Digital Minimalist

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Recently I watched a family in a restaurant as they ate their entire meal looking at their phones. None of them actually interacted with each other the whole time.

Tech companies design devices and apps to be addictive. It’s how they make their money. In my Authentic Leadership Academies, I ask participants is to leave their phones outside. It’s not an easy ask, especially the first day. But by the end of the week participants leave freer, more at peace, and more connected to themselves and others than they have felt in a long time.

Until about ten years ago, it was unavoidable to have times in your day when it was just you alone with your thoughts…while in line at a store, waiting for an elevator, walking the dog, commuting to work, at the gym. Now we’ve banished that time.

I love Cal Newport’s approach to technology. He calls it becoming a “digital minimalist.” Turn off your phone periodically and take your freedom back. Stop relying on digital media to meet our emotional needs or distract us from the discomfort of reality, and use for the function for which it was developed: information sharing and communication.

Let’s reconnect to ourselves and to the world around us. Let’s become digital minimalists.

Psychological Safety: It’s About Good Leadership

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Psychological safety, no matter how you spin it, boils down to basic good leadership. And good leadership is best measured by one question: Do people feel safe to bring you the bad news?

There’s always bad news. People make mistakes. Expectations aren’t met. Frustrations arise.

Don’t gauge the health of your leadership by the amount of bad news, but by how people deal with it. If you aren’t hearing bad news maybe people don’t feel safe to tell you the truth. You can’t simply have an “open door policy” and expect that people will bound through that door. You have to get out of your office, engage, be intentional about listening to concerns, genuinely care about your people, value their input, and, above all, be honest about mistakes you make. You have to model bringing bad news responsibly – without blaming or criticizing.

Good leaders who make it safe to bring the bad news unlock potential, foster trust, drive innovation, and improve team performance.

What are you doing to make it safe for people to bring you the bad news?