The Missing Link Of Authenticity

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Carl Rogers, a founder of humanistic psychology, focused much of his work on the problem of authority. Rigid power hierarchies had led to oppression in many spheres of life and he pioneered a movement that liberated individuals from these authority structures. People are naturally good, he believed, and can be trusted to do their own self-actualization.

David Brooks, in his insightful article, “How America Got Mean,” (The Atlantic, September 2023), stated that “a cluster of phenomenally successful books appeared in the decade after World War II, making the case that, as Rabbi Joshua Loth Liebman wrote in Peace of Mind (1946), ‘thou shalt not be afraid of thy hidden impulses. People can trust the goodness inside.’ His book topped the New York Times best-seller list for 58 weeks. Dr. Spock’s first child-rearing manual was published the same year. That was followed by books like The Power of Positive Thinking (1952).

According to this ethos, morality is not something that we develop in communities. It’s nurtured by connecting with our authentic self and finding our true inner voice. If people are naturally good, we don’t need moral formation; we just need to let people get in touch with themselves.”

While these pioneers led the way to the opening of authenticity, there’s a missing link – a perspective that many still do not understand. I remember sitting on an airplane talking to an executive about authenticity when not long after our conversation he started flirting with the flight attendant. When she went to get his drink he turned to me and said that he likes to challenge himself to see if he can get the flight attendant into his hotel room. “It’s my authentic self,” he said with a wink.

While the early pioneers in the personal development field broke down many patriarchal, rigid, and dehumanizing authority structures and gave birth to new freedom, we know now, with our current consciousness, that they could only take us so far. We do, in fact, need to be concerned about some of those hidden impulses. Just because you have a desire doesn’t necessarily mean it’s authentic. To get to your true authentic self beneath your impulses and cravings, you need a community. And your inner child needs some good old-fashioned discipline.

To learn more about the journey to authenticity, I hope you’ll join me in one of my upcoming complimentary Authentic Leadership Academy Mini-Series: https://lnkd.in/g4M9qpWh

When does ambition become harmful?

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I’m a person who has set goals all of my adult life. Ever since my dad introduced me to Earl Nightingale when I was a teenager, I was inspired to deliberately better myself. With ambition deeply ingrained, foundational habits were formed that built a road of success for me. But like anything in life, an asset can turn into a defect when it outgrows its function. Now, in retrospect, I offer what I’ve learned about how my drive for ambition has a harmful side.

  1. Bettering yourself is not the same as perfecting yourself. Perfection is an unattainable goal, but incremental, continuous self-awareness and growth is a target worth aiming for.
  2. Constant striving for perfection to prove something unprovable can create frustration, tension, and pressure on yourself and those around you.
  3. It’s great to have goals; however, the purpose of goals is not to measure your worth by your achievement of those goals. The purpose of goals is to inspire you to become the kind of person it takes to get you there.
  4. While it’s good to have intentions for the future, don’t miss the joy of life today. Ambition can be a thief of contentment and inner peace. At the end of our lives, I believe we’ll realize that this one precious life we have been given is not a destination. It’s a journey.

Salt Spring Island

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Last week Val and I had a nice get-away on Salt Spring Island where we enjoyed some hiking, relaxing, and connecting. Thank you Kyle Shury for your generosity.

Being a leader in your workplace, community, or home can get heavy. It’s easy to lose perspective and get overwhelmed and exhausted amidst the tyranny of urgent demands. Our job is to stay fresh so we can bring renewed insights and viewpoints to those we serve, to be inspired so we can inspire others, and to stay healthy so we can be there for those who depend on us.

It’s important to periodically unplug and take time for yourself and the things that matter to you, so you can be there for others.

If leadership and authenticity matter to you, our Authentic Leadership Academy is the perfect place for connection, reflection, renewal, and growth. You become a part of a like-minded community to support you on your journey. You’ll be inspired with a renewed view of leadership and life while connecting with your heart and an inner compass to guide you. You’ll leave with practical insights and tools to amplify your impact in every area of your life.

If this speaks to you, consider joining us in a life-changing experience that goes way beyond a typical leadership training experience and gets to the heart of what it truly means to be human in your commitment to make a difference in the world.

https://lnkd.in/gMi2euzp

 

Trauma And Its Impact on Leadership

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One does not have to be a military veteran or live in a war zone to encounter trauma. Trauma happens to us, our friends, colleagues, families, and neighbours. Research suggests that up to thirty percent of women (and twenty percent of men) in this country have been sexually abused. Twenty-five percent have been beaten by a parent severe enough to leave a mark. Thirty percent of couples engage in physical violence. A quarter of us grew up with alcoholic relatives, and ten percent have witnessed their mother being beaten or hit. Many researchers feel these statistics are conservative, and they don’t even account for the unmeasured and unpredictable rage and verbal abuse many grew up with.

Human beings are a resilient species, but it’s naïve to think that such events in our upbringing don’t impact the way we relate to people in our homes, communities, and workplaces. Trauma leaves traces on our minds and bodies. It impacts the way we think, the way we feel, the way we interact with those around us, and the way we live.

When you move into a position of leadership, you don’t acquire more power. What you get is more accountability. Considering the trauma that many have experienced, here are five accountabilities of a positional leader in relation to trauma, stress, and psychological safety in the workplace:

  1. Learn why creating a psychologically safe work environment is critical to a successful work environment and why being at peace with yourself is the foundation of all good leadership.
  2. Become familiar with your own inner state and aware of how your moods impact others. Learn to know the difference between when you’re stressed and when you are relaxed.
  3. Recognize how any trauma in your life may have impacted your past or current actions and identify a plan for healing and working with this trauma.
  4. Get regular feedback from trusted colleagues and friends on how your actions may be inadvertently creating unnecessary tension in your leadership. We all have blind spots and need to take an inventory of these on a continual basis.
  5. Be open to keep learning about psychological safety and ways to ensure a safe, caring, and accountable workplace under your leadership.

Twelve Indicators Of Authenticity

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For seven decades, leadership scholars have conducted thousands of studies to determine the traits of great leaders. Thankfully, none have constructed a clear profile of an ideal leader. There’s no single leadership style or approach to leadership you can imitate to become a great leader. We can certainly learn from others, but we all have to find our unique authentic self.

Being an authentic leader comes from being more fully who you are. It’s that simple and it’s that complex.

Here are twelve indicators of being authentic:

  1. A sense of purpose. Authentic people have a sense of purpose that gives them a reason to get up in the morning and keep walking through the hard times.
  2. They resist conformity. Authentic people don’t need others to validate their worth. They can express their opinions openly when needed. Not to be compliant or defiant, but simply to be honest.
  3. Deep-seated curiosity. Authentic people are life-long learners and actively pursue feedback from others.
  4. The courage to be vulnerable. They have a close community where they share their struggles, fears, values, self-doubts, dreams, uncertainties, grief, and deepest joy – so they are comfortable bringing the full spectrum of their humanity to the world.
  5. They care about others. They are present and engaged, taking time to listen, tune in, and sincerely value others.
  6. They own their mistakes. Authentic people take responsibility for their actions, including their mistakes. and can admit when they are wrong.
  7. Humility. They know they are never the smartest person in the room and shine the light on others.
  8. They know their values, set good boundaries, and can say no.
  9. They work for the greater good. They are committed to service over self-interest.
  10. They respect others. Authentic people value of diversity, and are not threatened by, but welcome and celebrate differences. They seek to understand as many alternative work views as deeply as they can.
  11. They are accountable. They show up. You can count on authentic people.
  12. Authentic people are self-accepting. They know they can’t always exhibit some of these traits and somehow find a way to be okay with their imperfect humanity.

Tag a leader in your life that demonstrates these traits.

Why A Values-Based Approach To Leadership Is Critical for Engagement

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When you hold a kite’s string, you are the anchor that allows it to soar high in the sky. Letting go of that string does not make the kite soar to greater heights. In fact, releasing your grip causes the kite to crash to the ground.

Similarly, sustained principles act as an anchor for your leadership. Individuals who hold on to their principles reach their highest potential.

Many organizations have fancy value statements, but if you don’t have a clear path to get the values into the lives of every person in the organization, then these statements are empty resolutions.

There is a huge difference between values statements and real values.

Join David this Friday (February 23) as he shares his experience, research, and perspective on what it truly means to be value-based in your life and leadership – and the power that will come from it.

  1. Learn how being people-centered breeds entitlement.
  2. Discover how values-based leadership starts with value-based living.
  3. Leave with practical insights for engaging your teams by being values-based.

To register go to: https://lnkd.in/d37Prt4a

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