It is my privilege to serve on the Board of the Wayfinders Wellness Organization.

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This is a registered non-profit organization, whose goal is to build a safe space for military and first responders who have suffered PTSD. This community includes First Responders, Military, Veterans, and their families. We are peers helping each other navigate mental wellness.

Wayfinders connects people to the resources that will work best for their individual needs. We are all passionate about breaking down the stigma of talking about mental health and strive to build a strong community full of support.

Becoming mentally resilient and processing trauma in a healthy way are the keys to avoiding mental health injury. The Wayfinder model is intended to raise awareness and talk about mental health so we can help people find healing. With many paths to wellness, our goal is to bring together a variety of service providers in one place to make healing accessible. Through our combined experiences, we know what has worked and want to share how to access resources because we know that living with an occupational stress injury is difficult.

The Wayfinders ranch house is available for emergency responders, military and their families. They can book the space for small groups to come together and process their trauma with their peers in a safe environment, away from the public and work. This separation from the daily environment allows processing of trauma in a healthy way.

Our ranch house is nestled in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, along the banks of the Jumping Pound Creek at the historic Wineglass Ranch in Cochrane Alberta in Western Canada. With access to nature, music workshops, healing horses, and a community of positivity and wellness, there are many resources on site and others that can be arranged.

I encourage you to join our Wayfinder community and become a sponsor, a partner, a service provider or a member in need.

Connect with us. To learn about our work and upcoming programs, go to: https://lnkd.in/gcNNTN_r or follow our social media https://lnkd.in/g–MYebd

Be resilient! Be well!

Three strategies for responding to bullying.

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From my research and observation of people over the past four decades, I have come to believe all behavior has positive intent. This means any behavior we might label as destructive, has, from another viewpoint, a beneficial purpose. For example, from the perspective of a bully, intimidating or harassing others can be a way of attempting to show competence (even though it’s not very skillful). It may be a coping strategy after themselves being bullied. Abusive behavior can be a way of managing anxiety or insecurity. It’s an unconscious way of making yourself big when you actually feel small.

This doesn’t justify bullying. It simply brings some understanding and empathy to the experience.

With this awareness, here are three strategies for responding to bullying:

  1. Clarity. Clearly understand how intimidation, harassment, and bullying are a violation of the values and expectations of your organization. Start by clarifying and communicating exactly what disrespectful behavior is, in terms of organizational and leadership expectations. Clarity means understanding precisely the difference between leading and intimidating.
  2. Courage. You have to let people know that certain behavior violates the expectations of the organization, and therefore is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. You simply can’t work here if you’re going to behave in a disrespectful way. If you don’t get support with this from your organization, then you have to consider if this is a place where you want to work.
  3. Compassion. Respecting the intent behind bullying can create an opportunity to grow, to move toward a plan for change. This plan may involve coaching and learning strategies such as developing greater emotional intelligence, skills for managing anxiety more effectively, increasing your self-awareness, and accountability.

Bullies make bad boxers

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There’s a saying in most boxing gyms: “Bullies make bad boxers.”

We all know them. Big macho dudes in the gym thinking they’ll prove their worth by pounding on everyone smaller than them.

But bullies are cowards. Afraid to expose their fears and insecurities. Ego maniacs with an inferiority complex. And it doesn’t take long before a mature boxer puts them in their place on the mat. After their weakness is exposed, they usually leave and you never see them again. There’s a clear message in good boxing gyms: “Bullies don’t belong here, and bullying behavior is unacceptable and won’t be tolerated.”

The best boxers are actually often the ones who have been bullied. They come with courage and humility, open to an honest evaluation of their strengths and weakness. They have no need to bring down those who are weaker than them. Instead, they have a burning desire to be all they are capable of being – by learning from those who are better than they are.

Muhammad Ali, at the peak of his career, was asked what he would do if a complete stranger slugged him. Ali responded, “I’d turn and run ‘cause that man must be craazzy!”

Ali was no coward. He could have easily beaten up just about anyone on the planet, and he knew it. But he was no bully. He was confident and had no need to prove himself by hurting anyone who didn’t stand a chance against him.

This is where boxing and leadership intersect. Bullies make bad leaders. There are people in organizations who use their title to abuse others. Like bullies in the boxing ring who try to show their worth by hitting people weaker than them, bullies in the workplace hide from their insecurities and turn to the cowardly actions of control, coercion, and abuse of power.

And, just like bullies in the boxing ring, bullies in the workplace need to be put in their place – by their boss or their board – and told, in no uncertain terms, that disrespectful, abusive behavior is unacceptable and won’t be tolerated.

May we have the courage and humility to face ourselves honestly and take a stand against people who abuse their power. May we all have the courage to do the right thing at the right time.

Boxes, Presents, and Presence…

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Boxes, Presents, and Presence…

This past weekend my sister was visiting. During our time together, we went through the “boxes.” You know the “boxes.” Ones you dig out of the basement that have old “stuff“ like your parents’ grade school report cards or your junior high basketball trophies or the letters your mother wrote to you while you were at summer camp.

Amidst the boxes, one box in particular intrigued me. It was a box of cards congratulating my parents when I was born. In those days mothers stayed in the hospital long enough that the address on the envelopes was the maternity ward at the hospital.

Yes, these were real cards. Hand-written. With a return address and a stamp. Placed in the mailbox and addressed to my parents. Thirty-six of them in total. The moment I opened that box I realized I wasn’t just born into a family; I was born into a community.

Although there isn’t anything particularly unusual about a box of thirty-six hand-written cards, imagine the undertaking of each card: going to the store, carefully choosing a card, crafting a thoughtful message, buying a stamp. Then going to the post box to send them off – at least an hour for each card.

Recently, my niece had a baby and we sent a quick post on Facebook, and a text with a few emojis congratulating her. All told, it took about sixty seconds.

I’m not suggesting we discard our devices and go back to the “good old days.” They weren’t actually the “good old days,” they were simply the old days with different challenges.

What I am suggesting is that there was some goodness that came out of those old days. There was some time, attention, and presence put into the process of securing, scripting and sending those cards.

Today, we claim to be clever people, efficient and high-powered with well-organized day-timers and to-do lists. But in our zeal to get things done, have we forgotten the simple art of connecting?

Let us make a firm resolve to take time to be present to the lives we live, to stop once in a while and be thoughtful and sensitive to the people we care about. Let us be good to ourselves and to the people around us.

What does recovery mean to you?

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What does recovery mean to you?

As a college track athlete, I learned that a good training program must include recovery days. Bill Bowerman transformed long-distance running in the 1960’s, when he introduced the notion of rest in his approach to training. To improve, you have to step back.

In a Type A world, we don’t do recovery very well. We keep pushing. We keep striving. We keep working. We keep grinding. Often to our own detriment.

I spent the past two weeks recovering from a surgery I’d been putting off for some time. But finally, I had to just bite the bullet and get it done.

The recovery process was not easy for a guy like me who loves being in control and having my body do what I want it to.

My recovery regime when I got home went:

  1. Breathe deeply.
  2. Get outside.
  3. Walk.
  4. Hydrate.
  5. Rest.

I underestimated the degree of disruption the anesthetic and surgery would have on me – both mentally and physically. And I’m returning with a new lease on life and greater clarity. It turns out the surgery will help me breathe more deeply and sleep better. And from the experience I gained fresh ideas about my business and a renewed perspective on life.

What if we could develop a recovery habit – without having to get sick or go through a surgery to get there?
What does recovery mean to you?

Heroes, Hope, and The Human Experience

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You’ll never see a designer label on a hospital gown: Heroes, Hope, and The Human Experience.

Hospitals are strange places. Most of us are born in one. Many of us die in one. And in between, we may go there to spend the worst days of our lives.

Hospitals are the great levelers. No one knows – or even cares – what type of vehicle brought you there. There’s no designer label on a hospital gown. We’re stripped of our masks and facades, with nothing to hide behind, and you come face-to-face with your essential humanity.

The workers are dedicated to their jobs, doing their part to make the big human factory function as best it can. Everyone wants you out of there as soon as possible so they can make room for the next patient.

Caring isn’t on anyone’s job description but no matter where you go in the massive system, you find the heroes that care.

You’ll find Mary on Unit 83 who held my hand during the bleakest night who gently reassured me, “The third day after surgery is always the worst. It’ll pass by the morning.”

Or Pam, in radiology, who took the time took the time to sit and listen to me for ¾ of an hour while we waited for the radiologist.

Then there was the night I inadvertently pulled out a drainage tube and the nurse on duty seemed annoyed and irritated. When I commented, “It sounds like you’ve had a long night,” she responded apologetically. “I’m at the end of a double shift. We are short staffed and I’ve been here for almost sixteen hours.”

It was at that moment that I realized that these professionals would never abandon a patient. They truly are dedicated and caring human beings that we need to appreciate and celebrate.