Engagement and the Four Human Needs

/in , , , /by

To get your team inspired and engaged, to foster loyalty, and get the most out of people under your care, you need to work with them to meet four fundamental needs.

  1. People need to feel safe. They need to feel physically and psychologically safe. They need to know it’s safe to tell the truth, be honest, and be themselves. They need to know that they can bring their whole self to work, and don’t have to leave who they are at the door.
  2. People need to feel supported. They need to know you care, that you have their back, and are concerned for them at work and away from work. They need to know that you know the names of their kids, what interests them away from work, and what’s concerning them when they get to work.
  3. People need to feel significant. They need to know that their work makes a difference and contributes to the success of the organization. They need to know that their gifts are valued and their goals are important, and that they can make these an integral part of their work.
  4. People need to be stretched. People need to be challenged to grow and have an opportunity to bring all they can to their game. Set the bar high and model the way. Be clear about your expectations. Give lots of support and help people be all they can be. Growth, after all, lives outside the comfort zone.

There’s a principle in boxing that timing beats speed and speed beats power.

/in , , , /by

There’s a principle in boxing that timing beats speed and speed beats power. Whenever I’m up against my sparing partner and I feel less power, and I “try harder” to be more powerful it never ends well. It weakens my power, decreases my speed, and throws my timing way off.

I’ll never outpower someone who is stronger than me. All I can do is back it up and work on my timing and speed (which, to say the least, is tough at my age).

This is how boxing is similar to leadership. Leaders who don’t acknowledge their weakness or insecurity or fear will “try” to be more powerful by using their positional authority. Like in the boxing ring, this won’t end well. As Margaret Thatcher said once, “Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you, you aren’t.”

Leadership, like boxing, is much more about timing than power. When you get promoted, after all, you don’t get more power. You get more accountability.

Like in boxing, work on your timing, your connections, your balance, the fundamentals – and power will naturally follow – through your presence, not your position. “Trying” to be powerful will only weaken you.

My questions for the day:

  • What does “timing” mean in your world?
  • What would you describe as your fundamentals – that increase your ability to influence?
  • How is leadership for you about presence rather than position?

SAGE Forum

/in , , , /by

After thirty years of requests from people who want to go deeper with my teachings and find support in an authentic community, I have helped to co-create the SAGE Forums. These Forums go beyond the benefits gained from a presentation or Academy.

A SAGE Forum creates a community to support authentic difference makers and help hold them accountable to stay authentic. Their purpose is to ensure individuals stay true to their passion and purpose, be deeply connected to the people they care about, and live lives of meaning and significance.

Pruning: Growth Depends on Letting Go Of The Unwanted Or Unessential

/in , , /by

We have a thirty-foot rubber tree growing in the middle of our living room. About every six months we have to get up on the ladder and cut back the branches that push into the ceiling and the window.

Leading is akin to gardening, where we co-create an environment around us that enables the flourishing of life. Any gardener knows that pruning is a part of tending to a garden. A plant that is overgrown, gangly, or unhealthy needs to be thinned, cut back, or dug up. In its exuberance to grow, it seems to be the nature of growing things to get overgrown at times. In our case, we prune in order to manage the size of this tree. When it’s overgrown, it will crowd out the very light of the window it’s reaching for.

Like pruning a garden, our lives periodically need some cutting back.

What, in your life or your leadership, needs pruning?

  • What relationships that you have outgrown need to end?
  • What habits need to be re-evaluated and discarded?
  • What clutter in your life needs to be let go of?
  • What needs to end in order to allow for new growth?
  • What people on your team are holding you back and need support to move on?
  • What difficult conversations are needed now?

The Law Of The Echo

/in , , , /by

Years ago, when I was first teaching about accountability, a young, enthused leader approached me.
“Your philosophy of bringing an ownership, self-responsible mindset to work reminds me of the Law of the Echo.”
“What’s the Law of the Echo?” I asked her.

“It means that whatever you bring to the world will come back to you – ten-fold. It’s like what Gandhi meant when he said, ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world.’ If you want more accountability in your organization, don’t wait for others to step up to the plate. Instead, be more accountable. If you want more love in a relationship, be more loving. If you want more appreciation at work, get so busy appreciating others that you won’t have time to feel sorry for yourself for not getting enough acknowledgement.”

This conversation and explanation of the Law of the Echo has stayed with me for years. It’s worked for me on my team, in my volunteer work, and in my family. It’s a great formula for having a better marriage. It’s a great reminder when I find myself frustrated, blaming, or waiting for someone else to change.

My father likely would have said it this way: “It isn’t greener on the other side of the fence. It’s greener where you water it. “Grow where you are planted,”

How to Fix an Accountability Problem

/in , , , , /by

“We need more accountability on our team!”

It’s easy to turn to this all-too-common refrain when numbers are down or team members aren’t meeting expectations. But when you announce, “we need more accountability,” your team actually hears, “We’re failing, and it’s your fault.”
No one is inspired by being blamed. While there may be times when your team could put in more effort, a lack of accountability is rarely intentional.

A lack of accountability is a downstream problem that requires upstream action. It’s always better to prevent pollution than to clean it up. Leaders who default to a plea for accountability will inevitably become frustrated.

Further, verbalizing that there is “a lack of accountability” on your team can come off as condescending to people on the receiving end. This is hardly productive when you are trying to inspire change, and more importantly, it doesn’t help get to the root of the problem.

Rarely is an accountability problem actually an accountability problem. It’s an agreement problem and you fix it through a better agreement process:

  1. Clarify your expectations. Ambiguity breeds mediocrity.
  2. Create a compelling shared WHY. Purpose fuels commitment.
  3. Assess fit. Passion proceeds accountability.
  4. Aim high. No one takes pride in doing something easy.
  5. Get an agreement. A request is not an agreement.
  6. Clarify support requirements. We all need people in our corner.
  7. Identify consequences. Start with positive consequences.
  8. Follow-up plan. How will we keep our agreements to each other alive?