How Does A Leader Demonstrate Authenticity?

One of the best parts of my work is the incredible people I connect with and learn from, one of whom is Geoff Topping, Chief People Officer at Challenger Motor Freight. Amazing guy. Totally authentic.

In one exchange, Geoff mentioned that he created a list of how authenticity can be demonstrated in the workplace. It so inspired me, that I want to pass it on:

Ways Of Demonstrating Authenticity As A Leader:

  1. Admit when you need help, advice, or just an ear. This is a strength, not a weakness.
  2. If you learn something, read something, try something, and it works for you, share it. Don’t take credit for the idea. Share who taught you.
  3. Have mentors, coaches, or confidants; we all have times when we need these people.
  4. If you can and are qualified, be a mentor, coach, or confidant.
  5. Admit that you are a person. We all make mistakes, get sick, and sometimes have personal situations to deal with.
  6. Care about people. Really care. If it’s going to be acting, leadership is not for you; management might be, but not leadership and that is okay.
  7. Think “People First,” which means ensuring people have the opportunity, training, and tools to succeed.
  8. Take personal inventory, and when you’re wrong, admit it.
  9. Always take time in your day or week to reflect on what you need to do better, what you are doing well, and how you can improve.
  10. Take care of your health. Your body and mind are your tools.
  11. We all get Situationally Overwhelmed at times. This is normal and different from being truly overwhelmed. Sometimes, we need to step back and look at our to-do list, tasks, problems, etc., through different glasses.
  12. Find a work-life balance or blend that works for you, but remember that yours will not work for everyone on your team; help your people find one that works for them and the organization.

Thank you, sincerely, Geoff, for inspiring me with your authentic presence.

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ARE YOU CONNECTING?

Everyone communicates but few connect.

–  John Maxwell

Our newly hired hand arrived early. When I saw an old man riding a rusted bicycle up our gravel road in the pouring rain and into the yard of our family farm, I wondered, “Who is this slightly scary, weird-looking guy, whistling and smiling, dressed in worn-out coveralls, a flannel shirt, a torn jacket, and rubber boots?”

I was a teenager and was expected to work with this newly hired hand—whose name was Norris—for the summer. I didn’t want much to do with him at first. I just hung around for a few days and quietly worked alongside him.

He didn’t seem to mind that I wasn’t talkative. He simply went on about his business. At the time, I thought it was a little odd that no matter what the weather was like, or if we were fencing or building something or hauling hay, Norris always showed up on time and was happy. Except for a short lunch break, he never stopped working and never complained. Whether we were fencing, hauling hay, cleaning stalls, building a corral or a barn, or working with the horses, from the moment he arrived until the moment he got back on his rusted-out, single-gear bicycle at the end of the day and peddled off, he was always smiling. Always whistling. Always working. Never grumpy. Always the same steady mood.

We ended up working together for three summers, and in those six shorts months, Norris changed my life. While I could never have articulated it then, here’s some of the things I learned from him:

  1. Relationships are mostly about showing up. Being reliable, being able to be counted on, being calm under pressure, being steady in the storms – all go a long way in building unspoken trust.
  2. Norris, through his safe and steady presence, taught me to bond with horses rather than break them. People have a lot in common with horses. A horse doesn’t progress or perform as you want it to because you demand that they do so or because you threaten them. Horses, like people, will enlarge their capacity only when they have the right conditions and are given the proper care. You don’t have a right to the trust of another. You must earn it.
  3. You can have huge influence on others when you’re comfortable with yourself. You make a difference when you don’t have to pretend or impress or try to make yourself big or others small to prove that you are someone that you aren’t.
  4. Listen more than you talk. In all the time we worked together I can’t tell you one thing about Norris except what I saw. As a self-absorbed teenager, I never took the time to listen like he listened to me. I never asked anything about him. I only knew that he had only a grade seven education and was a bachelor who lived in a dirt shack (my father drove me there once) and was very selective about who he worked for. He liked and respected both my parents.
  5. Bring a firm handshake to everyone you meet. One of the only times I saw Norris’s gruffness was the first time I shook his hand. “You shake a hand like a fish,” he told me. “If you are going to go anywhere in life, learn to shake a hand like you mean it.” I found out that shaking a hand firmly is a confidence builder.
  6. Assess your ignorance. Always be a student. Everyone has something to teach you. Be a learner, not a knower. Humility goes a long way to earning trust. Norris was always curious, a consummate scholar of life.
  7. Pound a nail with your arm, not your hand. While building the new round corral one of those summers, Norris shook his head as he watched me pound in a nail. Quietly he took my hand with the hammer in his hand and taught me how to pound a nail with accuracy and the least amount of effort. “You have to drive a nail with your whole arm,” he told me, “Not your wrist. You’ll wear yourself out doing that.”
  8. Attitude makes a big difference. I once asked Norris how he can be so happy all the time. In his defined Scottish drawl, he responded, “Happiness, young man, is not a destination. Happiness is a method of travel.”

Years after I left home, and after my parents sold the farm, I received a note from one of my former neighbors telling me that Norris had died. The old dirt shack he lived in caught fire and burned to the ground. He passed away in the middle of the night, alone.

I’m sure that Norris had no idea of the impact he’d had on my life, and how that impact created ripples in time that will go on to generations yet unborn.  Not just impact in the here and now, but in the here and forever. People who influence us are like that. They come into our lives at important junctures, sometimes intentionally with a request, and sometimes unexpectedly—like a passerby who stops to help us when we’re stranded in our broken-down vehicle. Most never know the difference they make.

Our world seems to be more and more in flux. Things seem more unsettled and unpredictable. I’m not sure that the use of our devices has really helped us get more connected. I think John Maxwell got it right. Everyone communicates, but few connect.

Are you connecting?

You don’t have to be a people person to be a leader

For years I have taught the principle, “fit people, don’t fix people.” I’m not about changing people. I’m about aligning people in a position that supports their strengths so it’s a win-win for everyone.

I’ve met many senior executives who do a great job building and running a company, but aren’t good at connecting with people. Not every great leader is a people person. We can’t possibly be great at everything. I can be good with people but suck at running a large company.

Many excellent CEOs aren’t interested in attending my Authentic Leadership Academies, but they have a sincere respect for the importance of people, and will support those who want to develop their skills in this area.

So… you don’t have to be a people person to be a positional leader. But what you do need is self-awareness. You have to know your strengths and limitations, and be able to find the right people to fill the gaps. You have to know that if your greatest strength isn’t necessarily connecting to people, that you will find and support the people who can and will lead the way in this area.

What’s imperative is that to hold a position of leadership requires that you care about people and care enough to make people a foundational priority in your organization.

If this topic interests you, and you’re committed to learning more about the power of connection, join me in our upcoming complimentary webinar on April 19: https://lnkd.in/d37Prt4a

Get the relationships right

As I help CEOs and senior executives develop strategy and execute that strategy with a good accountability process, I have come to realize that if we don’t get the relationships right, none of this matters.

John Maxwell said, “People buy into the leader, then the vision.” But many people have this all backwards. They believe that if the cause is good enough, people will automatically buy into it. But that’s not how leadership works. You have to get the relationships right. It’s good to inspire people with a worthy vision, but you have to care about the people you need to realize that vision at least as much as you care about the cause. Otherwise they feel used and will eventually shut down, disengage, resist, or quit.

Three things I know about relationships:

  1. Care. If people know you care they’ll get behind you and cut you a lot of slack. If they know you don’t, it won’t end well. You might get compliance as a boss, but it takes a true leader to get commitment. And you won’t get commitment if people don’t genuinely know you’re in their corner and have their back.
  2. Listen with humility. Notice your ask/tell ratio. It’s good to spend at least twice as much time listening than talking. People will open up and provide input if you know you are aren’t the smartest person in the room and that everyone has something to teach you. And empathic listening becomes easier and builds trust if you sincerely care about the answers you get.
  3. Authenticity breeds connection. When it comes to leadership, ability matters. But inner qualities matter more. To bring these inner qualities out you need to get comfortable with yourself and past the gimmicks, fads, and flavours of the month and be real with each other.

Small Giants: Choosing To Be Better Rather Than Bigger

As my life and business unfolded over the years, I became clearer about my values. My personal business model is based on an approach inspired by Bo Burlingham, who wrote, Small Giants: Companies that Choose To Be Great Instead of Big. To quote Bo, “It has long been a business article of faith that great companies, by definition, constantly focus on maximizing their revenues year after year.

Yet quietly, under the radar, a growing number of undeniably great companies have rejected the premise of endless growth to focus on more satisfying business results.”

In our organization we don’t measure success by how big we are, but by the impact we have on people. We prioritize maintaining authenticity as opposed to record-setting revenue streams. We resist the mainstream definitions of success and march to our own drummer.

And when I forget my values and get caught up in the hype, my spouse, my team, and my friends bring me back. It’s fascinating that those who find me and work with me share the same values in their own businesses and lives.

The journey is deeply satisfying and sustainable when I remember what I stand for.

S-l-o-w D-o-w-n to Find the Rhythm of Life

Work today can be hectic and intense, with tight deadlines, meetings, and notifications coming at you from every angle. With all that noise it’s hard to focus and get things done—especially when you’re also dealing with stress about your workload.

Over the past few years, researchers have offered different explanations for the rise of anxiety and stress, but three things we know for sure: change is happening quickly, access to information continues to increase, and the development of our brains has not caught up to the bombardment of information coming at us. I’m from a generation where when a newsworthy event occurred, we had until the evening news or the next morning’s paper to hear about it. That is just one example of having a little space in my day.

It’s all instantaneous now. And, while news feeds blast our brains 24/7, we have constant information coming at us. Until about ten to fifteen years ago, it was unavoidable that numerous times throughout your day it was just you alone with your thoughts…while in line at the checkout, waiting for the elevator, walking the dog, commuting to work, at the gym. Now we inundate our minds with unending data, spending up to a half of our waking lives looking down at our cell phones.

Having lost the natural rhythm and cadence of life and connection to ourselves to the tyranny of information bombarding us, it’s no wonder we’re overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed in a way we never have been before.

If you feel compelled to reconnect with your own rhythm of life, to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n and recharge your internal batteries, to refresh your perspective on leadership and life, and to be a part of an authentic community who are committed to support each other to stay on track and contribute to what is good, inspiring, and what matters to us, join us in our upcoming Authentic Leadership Academy. https://lnkd.in/gMi2euzp

In this three-day life-changing experience, you will leave with the clarity of knowing what matters and the permission to stop trying to do it all, to reset your internal compass and rediscover how you can make your highest contribution toward the things that truly matter.