From a TO-DO List to a TO-BE List

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Successful people have some kind of a to-do list – stuff that needs doing this year, this week, this day.
Living authentically means having a to-be list: How will you show up in your life? What kind of person will you be when you come to work? What kind of a leader will you be?

Here’s an example of what I would consider a great to-be list:

  • Be committed. Commitment is essential for success. Commitment to a cause beyond your self-interests. Commitment takes you past a goal or wish. Being committed means a firm resolve that inspires action.
  • Be encouraging. Encouragement means a belief in people, making everyone around you smarter and better. Rather than draining energy and intelligence and capacity by pretending to be the smartest person the room, use your wisdom to amplify the intelligence and capabilities of others.
  • Be grateful. Gratitude is the antidote to entitlement. Being grateful means inspiring others by finding the best in every person and every situation. My mother grew up in poverty and would say, “Always find a way to make your gratitude bigger than your circumstances.”
  • Be humble. Humility is a true evaluation of conditions as they are. It’s having the willingness and courage to face the facts of your life. Everyone has something to teach us and has somehow been a part of our success. Humility is about giving credit where credit is due.

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Don’t promote insecure people.

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Insecurity and positional power don’t mix well. But I see it all the time. Someone is placed in a position of authority and they use that authority to get work done. “I’m the boss so do as I say.” While you might get short-term results, if you aren’t secure enough to listen and value the opinions and approaches of others, you’ll get resistance, disengagement, or resignation.

One CEO told me she never promotes anyone until they’ve spent time leading people in a volunteer organization. “If you can’t influence people where you are without a title, then you haven’t yet earned the privilege of having a title.”
The late former British prime minister Margaret Thatcher said, “Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.”

Being a leader means:

  1. Being secure enough with yourself that you can admit you aren’t the smartest person in the room, you have something to learn from everyone, you can ask for help, and you sincerely open to learn and try other suggested methods.
  2. Listen and value opinions and approaches of others before sharing your experience and perspective.
  3. Make a decision and take a stand when you need to. Know when you’ve collaborated enough and that your decision isn’t necessarily going to make everyone happy.

The Workplace as a Classroom for Self-Development

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Work harder on yourself than you do on your job. It was a phrase that changed Jim Rohn’s life. As the legendary personal development speaker and author famously said, “If you work on your job, you’ll make a living. If you work on yourself, you’ll make a fortune.”

The best leaders are committed to life-long learning. They understand that the greatest gift they bring to relationships is a stronger, wiser, more self-aware person. As people grow and improve their capabilities, they amplify their impact.

Where do you go to learn? We’re conditioned to learn by going somewhere: to school, to university or technical college, to the internet, to articles, to books.

While these are all great sources of information and learning, what if we could also make life itself a classroom, and our experiences the curriculum? This mindset could revolutionize how we perceive the challenges we face. Every “problem” we encounter would be seen as an opportunity for personal growth. Every setback a chance to learn. Everything that happens to us could be viewed as happening for us.

What if all those things we find ourselves complaining about are presenting themselves as lessons? What if all those people we gossip about are there to teach us something?

Have you ever noticed that if you don’t get the lesson, you keep repeating the class with the same experiences? It’s like Bill Murray in the classic movie Groundhog Day. The events kept repeating themselves until he understood the lesson he was meant to get.

Here are three strategies for turning your workplace into a classroom for self-development:

  1. Assess Your Situation. Take a close look at your work environment to discover the potential for growth it holds. Take an inventory of your frustrations, stuff you complain about, and the things you dislike about your job. List the people that irritate you and those you gossip about. What stresses you? What overwhelms you? What activates your fear response in your work environment? (You can take a similar inventory in your personal life.)
  2. Renew Your Perspective. Start embracing challenges by seeing problems as stepping stones rather than roadblocks along your path to success. Ask, “What lessons am I meant to get from this problem?” “What is this difficult, insensitive boss here to teach me?” “How can I respond differently to those putting all these demands on me?” “What lesson is to be learned from not being appreciated?” Maybe you are meant to learn to be more clear or brave or kind. Maybe what’s required is more commitment or self-care or compassion. Instead of hiding by complaining or gossiping, start facing reality rather than running from it.
  3. Take Action. Decide how you will apply the lesson you have learned. Knowing that growth lies outside your comfort zone, what risks will you take? What actions are required? Who will support you? How will you hold yourself accountable? Apply the lesson and contribute to a healthier, more vibrant workplace culture. If you think it’s time to exit, be sure you’re not escaping from a difficult learning opportunity. Be sure you get the lesson before you leave. Otherwise, you’ll meet the same experience in your next job (or relationship). Regardless, if you’re committed, you’ll find a way. If you aren’t, you’ll find an excuse.

What a legend can teach us about leadership

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The past week we lost a legend. Bob Cole, the eminent broadcaster for Hockey Night in Canada for fifty years, was a beloved and iconic figure in Canadian sports. His passing was felt by hockey fans across the country. Bob Cole was the long time play-by-play voice of Hockey Night In Canada. He was also the voice I remember listening to sitting with my father every Saturday night.

Yesterday I listened to Bob’s last interview with CBC reporter Ian Hanomansing as he prepared for his final broadcast on April 6, 2019.

What impressed me the most about the interview was Bob Cole’s humility.

Bob believed in keeping the focus on the game itself and the unfolding action, rather than making the play-by-play about his own persona or commentary style. His approach to broadcasting allowed the drama and emotion of the game to come through. In the interview he was adamant that he never wanted the listener to remember the broadcaster; he wanted to listener to be impacted by the game. It wasn’t about him. It was about the game.

The interview was a good leadership lesson – the importance of humility. A great leader puts their team, the organization, and the cause above their own ego or personal agenda. A great leader exudes self-confidence without arrogance. They give credit and recognition to team members rather than seeking it for themselves, and are happy to see others succeed. In short, a great leader chooses service over self-interest.

Thank you, Bob Cole, for the memories and the lessons.

How To Be Authentic About Mental Health In The Workplace

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According to a recent HBR article, up to 80% of people will experience a diagnosable mental health condition over the course of their lifetime, whether they know it or not and almost 60% of employees have never spoken to anyone at work about it. It means that the effects of the stigma still loom large.

I have worked with my own depression and anxiety most of my life. While I can’t offer a prescription, I hope my experience can shed some light on this vitally important topic.

A few things I’ve learned on my journey:

  1. It’s okay not to be okay. Having inhuman expectations of always being “on our game” actually perpetuates mental health challenges.
  2. Admit when you need help. Help might mean a supportive ear in the office or a conversation with an outside professional. Having the courage to ask for help is a strength, not a weakness.
  3. Don’t let labels define you. I don’t believe there is such a thing as a depressed or anxious person. There are only people who have to deal with depression or anxiety.
  4. Compassion is critical to healing. Judgement perpetuates the problem. The only thing worse than anxiety is getting anxious about being anxious. With some help, courage, and a lens of self-acceptance, you’ll get through whatever you are dealing with.
  5. Uncover the gifts. Every blessing comes with a curse and every curse comes with a blessing. Working with mental health challenges means discovering the treasures in the darkness.
  6. Have a strength building system. Just as a physical fitness program is good for your health, so is a personalized mental fitness program. Mine includes a community of support, regular exercise, daily meditation and walks outside, and paying careful attention to what I eat.
  7. Don’t compromise work expectations. While there are times when you need to step away from your job to get renewed perspective and support, it’s good for our mental health to step up to the plate and do our best in our jobs. It good to be challenged in an encouraging, supportive environment. Good work is good for our well-being.

A big part of my work and focus is teaching leaders to be integrated, balanced, good human beings with strong character.

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This is the foundation of high trust, psychologically safe organizations. And this is where the truly lasting impact and fulfillment comes from in our leadership.

People these days are wanting their leaders to get past the gimmicks, fads, and flavours of the month and be real.

Legacy is not so much what we leave behind as it is the difference we make today.