THE OTHER EVEREST – Navigating The Pathway to Authentic Leadership

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As I design and deliver leadership development programs for organizations across the continent, one word that forms a common thread amid every person I meet today is the word
busy. Everyone is busy. When I ask,” How are you today?” the reply is always, “I’m busy!” Busy has become a badge of honour. If, for some reason, you aren’t “busy,” it implies that somehow you are less than capable. You aren’t in demand. There is something wrong with you.
My response is, “So… is it a good busy?”
Then comes a pause. We intuitively know there is a difference between good busy and bad busy, but without time to stop and reflect on the question, it’s not possible to answer it. It’s an old and ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way.
Peter Drucker, the esteemed management guru, said once “… There is nothing so useless as doing something efficiently that should not be done at all.” Amid the tyranny of the urgency of the demands of the world, how do we know if we are doing something efficiently that “should not be done at all?”
I see conscious leaders today struggling between having confidence in their capacity to live a life of purpose, and yielding to the daily demands of others. By too easily yielding to what is pressing, practical and popular, we have sacrificed the pursuit of what is in our hearts.
I know from my own research, and my more than thirty years of experience in the leadership development field, that the world is in need of leaders who are committed to substance over superficial, character over charisma, and service over self-interest. In short, we need leaders who are authentic – people whose inner compass guides their daily actions and who inspire trust by being honest and real.
To come to this place of impact and influence requires slowing down, going inside, and developing a relationship with an interior self. It’s about finding one’s voice – away from the voices of the world. To attain the capacity to influence in today’s changing and demanding world, along with the depth to lead with a strong authentic presence requires an innerjourney, a journey to one’s heart, a journey to what I call the “Other Everest.”
It is my intention to create authentic communities of like-minded leaders – difference makers who are committed to making a positive impact. To accomplish this, I’m facilitating a three-day retreat on Authentic Leadership from April 24-27 at the Banff Centre. I am inviting you to join me…
In this public workshop we will create a space to pause, go inside, and connect with your authentic self. If you are committed to be a better leader through increased self-awareness and a stronger, clearer purpose and presence, and could benefit from a community of support with other authentic leaders, join me for a renewed perspective on leadership and a life-changing experience.
Each of us has within us a calling. While the outside world pushes us, something within pulls us. Let your deepest desires lead you. If this sounds like a journey you would like to embark upon, join me April 24 – 27 in Banff.
And Remember: whenever you are in doubt, resist the natural human tendency to go faster, and instead, choose to go deeper.

THE YEAR AHEAD: Lessons From Selma the Sheep

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At the end of each year I reflect on my progress and blessings from the previous year and clarify some of my intentions for the coming twelve months. In the midst of this musing I like to read the children’s book Selma, by Jutta Bauer. Selma is a humble little book about a humble little sheep that poses a big question, “What is happiness?”
Selma is a sheep who is happy when she eats a little grass, plays with her children, exercises, chats with a friend, and falls fast asleep. When asked what she would do if she had more time or money, Selma replies simply that she would do exactly the same thing: eat a little grass, play with her children, exercise, chat with a friend, and fall fast asleep.
As I look to the year ahead, three lessons from Selma come to mind.
#1. Bring an attitude of gratitude into each and every day. Selma is a great book with a beautifully delivered reminder that happiness comes from appreciating what you have. A consumer culture is very good at making us want more and more, implying that more is always better. Until we know deeply within ourselves what enoughactually feels like, we will continue to be seduced by the pursuit of more. When I emerge from the holiday season after spending time with people who matter most in my life, catching up on some good reading and simply being, I have a deep appreciation for these everyday blessings and I feel a profound sense of gratitude.
#2. Define success on your own terms. Selma is not admonishing us to sit around and do nothing. A ship is safe in the harbor, the saying goes, but that is not what ships are for. It’s important to spend time in personal reflection,  away from the voices of the world to discover your sense of purpose. Dream big. And then get to work to become the kind of person it takes to get there. A fulfilled life is not void of focus and disciplined effort, but Selma teaches us not to allow the world or the opinions of others define our success. Success must come from within. Happiness does not come from “getting” or “having;” it comes from self-respect earned through contribution, service, and dedicated labor devoted to a cause. Stephen Covey wrote, “If you carefully consider what you want to be said of you at your funeral, you will find your definition of success.”
#3. Live each day fully. Remember that life is lived not yesterday or tomorrow but today. In Salutation To The Dawn, The Sanskrit writer, Kālidāsa, reminds us that a life well lived is a life lived fully in the coming twenty-four hours.
Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:
The bliss of growth;
The glory of action;
The splendor of achievement;
For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision;
But today, well lived, makes every yesterday
a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Live well, therefore, each day.
In this coming year may we discover within ourselves what matters most. And may we have the courage to live in alignment with our heart’s desire.

JEKA AND THE POWER OF ONE: How Ordinary People Can Make An Extraordinary Difference

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Not all of us can do great things. What we can do is small things with great love.                                                     – Mother Teresa
For more than twenty years, Jeka was my ticket agent at the Air Canada check-in desk at the Calgary International Airport. An ordinary job, you might say: greeting and checking in passengers, arranging flights, assigning seats, tagging baggage. But Jeka was no ordinary ticket agent. She was passionate about her job. She cared. Jeka would be at work by 4:00 AM, thirty minutes before her assigned shift. In the half hour before her colleagues arrived, Jeka would print out the names of every passenger who was due to check in that morning. She took the time to acquaint herself with the regulars, and would greet us by name and a cheerful “Good morning” when we hauled our tired bodies to the check-in desk for an early flight.
Jeka was forever jolly, and her ever-animated upbeat demeanor would always help start my travels a little lighter, a little more positive, and a little more willing to pass on her enthusiasm to others after our encounter. Our brief connection stood out as a highlight in the sea of transactions in the day of a business traveler.
Every Christmas I would get a personal card from Jeka, with a cheerful note of thanks for my loyalty to Air Canada and a message of appreciation for helping to brighten up her day in my travels.
I once asked Jeka what inspired her to be so friendly and ever so positive.
“It’s pretty simple. Air Canada has been good to me, but I’ve always been determined about one thing. I will never let a bureaucracyturn me into a bureaucrat. I just want to brighten up the day for every person that comes my way. Every time I brighten up another person’s day, it makes my day better. Whatever you give out, comes back to you.”
Last month I was passing by Jeka’s check-in counter and I made my usual stop to say hello and get my “Jeka hug.” I knew that retirement was around the corner for her, but I did not realize it was coming so soon.
“Tomorrow afternoon!” she exclaimed enthusiastically and tearfully. “After 40 and a half years with Air Canada, I’m going to be sitting on that big chair in the check-in area with balloons and a cake and I’m going to say good-bye to all the great customers and colleagues who have been so good to me all these years.”
As we hugged, I apologized for not being able to join her in the celebration and I asked if I could take her picture. As I walked away, I looked back briefly for one last impression of my good friend and bright spot at the Calgary airport.
“Don’t you go putting that picture up on Facebook now and making a big deal of all this!” she winked as she waved one final good-bye.
We really do make a difference. Mother Teresa was right. Not all of us can do great things. What we can do is small things with great love. In this one wild and precious life, each of us will leave a legacy. The question is, what will be yours?

Is Leadership About Inspiration or Influence?

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I received a thoughtful response to my latest article from a client:
“You state:  “the true measure of a leader is their capacity to influence.
I do not disagree that successful leadership does include the ability to influence, but is the true measure of a leader in their capacity to influence?  Or is it in their ability to inspire?
Subtle difference but different none the less.  Influence (from my perspective) suggests that you know best what they need to do, and sometimes that is true.  However, if as leaders we inspire our people then through that inspiration we can unlock their ability to create something far greater.”

And my response?

So is it influence or inspiration?  Or is it a combination of the two?
Influence, unfortunately, has taken a bad rap, because we don’t fully understand what leadership is and are working from an outdated model. When it comes from an outdated leadership approach (command and control), then you are correct. As you say, “you know best what they need to do.” In this day and age, you won’t be successful – at least not for long – if this is your view of influence. That is an old way of looking at influence, based on a patriarchal paradigm.

Yes, I agree that inspiration is necessary, but it is not sufficient. Inspiration is the means. Influence is the end. The question arises, “inspire people to what end?”

Influence, in the partnership paradigm, is not unilateral. Yes, you inspire, but you have to influence toward the achievement of some kind of shared vision or result, or you can’t call it leadership. Just because I inspire you doesn’t make me a leader. I am inspired by all kinds of things, but I’m not necessarily influenced by that experience to move toward a result. I can, for example, be inspired by a youtube video, but you can’t call that video leadership unless it in some way influences me to take action toward a focused result that is important to both of us. A true leader might influence with the use of that video. To be a leader, I have to work with you, listen to you, collaborate with you, build trust, etc. (all of which is required to influence you to achieve something that is important to both of us). That is leadership. And maybe I can even get there without inspiration (although I wouldn’t count on it).

I completely agree with you that inspiration can unlock our ability to create something far greater. But what exactly is that something? Leadership requires clarity about where we are going and more importantly why we are going there – even beyond our current imagination – along with deliberate, sustained, and collaborative attention toward that end (influence).

Maybe this is all semantics, and I stand to be corrected.

Let me give you a very concrete example in our relationship right now. First, I am grateful for your inquisitiveness and questions. It inspired me, without doubt. Now, the real challenge is: How will your inspiration influence me to be a better person or achieve a result that is important to both us? What are we going to do as a result of the inspiration? To what end will the inspiration lead us? If the goal is simply to learn, then we call that teaching, not leading. If teaching influences behavior, then teachers become leaders. Only when you answer that will I call you a leader in this context.

 

This I Believe

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This past spring, in a year-long leadership program I help facilitate for the Department of Human Services in the State of Oklahoma, one of the participants introduced me to This I Believe, an international organization engaging people in writing and sharing essays describing the core values that guide their daily lives. Over 125,000 of these essays, written by people from all walks of life, have been archived on their website: www.thisibelieve.org – which is heard on public radio, chronicled through their books, and featured in weekly podcasts. The project is based on the popular 1950s radio series of the same name hosted by Edward R. Murrow.
Below is a list of my “This I Believe” principles that I hold to be important in navigating my own life and work. These are the underlying beliefs – my Personal Creed – that guide how I live and form a framework for the decisions I make. I found it to be a fascinating and inspiring exercise to reflect on what I believe – and I encourage you, as leaders, to do the same. As you read my list, take some to time to ask, “What would my personal creed be?”
  1. While I can influence and impact others, I believe that the only person I can change is me.
  2. I believe that maturity comes not with age but rather with acceptance of responsibility.
  3. I believe we are not just a product of our upbringing. We are also a product of our perceptions, our beliefs, and our choices.
  4. I believe that your life will change forever the day that you decide, once and for all, that all blame is a waste of time.
  5. I believe in taking the time to clarify, live, and preserve a sense of purpose – a reason for being. When your why gets stronger, the way gets easier.
  6. I believe in the power of a dream. The purpose of having a dream is not necessarily to achieve it, but rather to inspire yourself to become the kind of person it takes to achieve it.
  7. I believe that one of the most encouraging facts of life is that our weakness can become our greatest strength.
  8. I believe that every experience is a potential learning opportunity. Within our wounds lay our greatest gifts and our greatest opportunity for contribution.
  9. I believe in four fundamental laws:
    • The Law of the Echo: Whatever we give will come back to us – ten fold.
    • The Law of Focus: What you focus on is what grows. Focus on the problems and they will grow. Focus on the solutions and they will grow.
    • The Law of Gratitude: A key to a good life is to always make your gratitude bigger than your circumstances.
    • The Law of the Lens: Who we are determines how we see others. We don’t see people as they are; we see people as we are.
  10.  I believe that the best present we can ever give anyone is to be present in the present. Life is lived now.
  11.  I believe that entitlement – believing you deserve something just because you want it  – never leads to happiness.
  12.  I believe that happiness is not a destination. Happiness is a method of travel. You are about as happy as you make up your mind to be.
  13.  I believe that good health is a precious companion. When you have your health you have a thousand wishes, and when you don’t, you have one.
  14.  I believe that the quality of an individual life has nothing to do with how long you live and everything to do with how you live.
  15.  I believe that success is not something you pursue. Success is something you attract – by the person you are becoming.
  16.  Like Scott Peck, I believe in taking the road less travelled – by choosing contribution over consumerism, service over self interest, and character over comfort.
  17.  I believe that leadership – the capacity to influence others toward a shared and worthy goal – cannot be reduced to technique or title. Great leadership comes from the identity and integrity of the leader.
  18.  I believe that caring is everything. Caring makes workplaces worth working in, schools worth learning in, and the world worth living in – now and in the future.
  19.  I believe in a God of my understanding of whom I continue to seek. At the end of my life I hope I can confidently declare that I have done my best to leave this world better than I found it.
  20.  I believe that the ability to positively impact others comes from being an integrated human being. I agree with Gandhi when he said. “A person cannot do right in one department of life whilst he is occupied in doing wrong in any other department. Life is one indivisible whole.” Being a good leader means, first and foremost, being a good person.
 
If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.  – Mahatma Gandhi
The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs. – James Allen

AN UNDERVALUED VIRTUE CALLED GRIT – The Power To Persevere In The Pain

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When the morning’s freshness has been replaced by the weariness of midday, when the leg muscles quiver under the strain, the climb seems endless, and suddenly, nothing will go quite as you wish – it is then that you must not hesitate.
– Dag Hammarskyold

 

In the classic 1969 Henry Hathaway movie,True Grit, John Wayne plays a drunken, hard-nosed U.S. Marshal who helps a stubborn teenager track down her father’s murderer. In true John Wayne fashion, he demonstrates a most valued virtue: grit. It’s a short word with great power. Grit is tenacity, perseverance, stamina, sticking with the task at hand day in and day out, not just for the day or the month or the years, but for as long as it takes. Grit is about passion and purpose and persistence. Grit is about living life as a marathon, not a sprint or a walk in the park. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, grit is defined as “firmness of character… an indomitable spirit.” Those with grit know that everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, it is not yet the end.
It’s easy to start, but it takes grit to finish. While authenticity in leadership is learning to connect, to be vulnerable and open and humble, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have a spine. Leadership without backbone, without grit, isn’t leadership at all. Leadership means, at times, the toughness to stand for something, the toughness to finish, and the toughness to refine our soul with the sandpaper of hardship.
When my grandfather worked three jobs raising eight kids during the depression, he modeled grit. When I watch my friends, colleagues, and clients here in Alberta display courage, innovation, and tenacity to get through today’s challenging economic times, I see grit. When someone sets aside personal gain to be beside an ill loved one through a long illness, I am reminded of the value of this precious virtue. Grit means seeing the task through, not because it’s easy or comfortable or self-serving, but because it is the right thing to do.
Here are three qualities that both demonstrate – and inspire – grit:
A COMPELLING VISION
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s unwavering persistence in fighting for civil rights, justice, anti-discrimination, and peace inspired a broken nation. An athlete training for the Olympics will persevere through the pain of getting up early, endure the hours of brutal workouts, and see it all the way to the end. Why? Because of the power of the dream. Thomas Edison allegedly tried 10,000 times before succeeding in his light bulb. A gritty undergraduate college student will study long into the night, night after night, with the vision of becoming a doctor. A young entrepreneur endures the challenges and setbacks of failures to find a way to bring her vision to the marketplace. A recovering alcoholic, with a vision of self-respect and a commitment to the wellbeing of his family he loves, will muster the grit to stay with he program. It’s a captivating vision, along with a profound and sustaining commitment to that vision, that inspires and awakens the human spirit.
COURAGE
Theodore Roosevelt, a true exemplar of grit, spoke of overcoming fear by embracing it with vulnerability and courage in an address at the Sorbonne in 1910.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…
It takes courage to dream, and even greater courage to persist in the realization of that dream. It takes courage to identify the habits that will create and realize your dream, and even greater courage to get up early and implement those habits and ignore a thousand possible excuses to stay in bed. It takes courage to keep making progress, to keep setting new standards, in the midst of the world telling you to settle for conformity and mediocrity.
Courage, however, isn’t always apparent. You can’t always see courage, nor can courage be accurately assessed by anyone else. It takes courage to finish a marathon, and sometimes it takes courage to stop. It takes courage to build a business, and it takes courage to find other priorities in your life. It takes courage to do a job right, and it takes courage to let go of perfection, and instead allow excellence to be your standard. It takes courage to get back on the proverbial horse, and sometimes it takes courage to walk away from the horse. It takes courage to stay in a relationship, and sometimes it takes courage to leave a relationship. It takes courage to love, and it takes courage to let go. Courage, a quality vital to grit, is developed with practice and identified by a well-tuned conscience.
CARING
Jeff Clark, President of Kitchen Partners Ltd. in Edmonton believes, “there are two kinds of people in the world: ‘me’ people and ‘we’ people.” My conversation with him got me thinking that ‘me’ people turn grit into greed. Without the ‘we,’ without humanity and a dedication to the greater good, grit turns into obsession and narcissism. Grit without caring isn’t grit at all. Grit without compassion is bullying and tyranny.
Grit combined with caring is character. As I write in my book, Caring is Everything, caring enriches every facet of our lives. Grit is caring enough about someone or something to persevere. Grit is caring so much that you’ll do whatever it takes. If you care enough, you will find the grit. If you can’t find it in you to dream, maybe all you need to inspire grit is to care.
Grit, like other qualities of character, cannot be “taught” to others like you teach algebra or organic chemistry. Grit, however, can be “caught.” It can be discovered. It can be fostered in the cultures where we work and live if we take the advice of Albert Schweitzer, the theologian, philosopher, and physician:

“Example is not the main thing in influencing others, it is the only thing”.