We Don’t Stay in Organizations; We Stay With Bosses

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There’s a familiar phrase, “We don’t leave organizations; We leave bosses.” I believe that is true, and I also believe the converse is true. Bosses make a difference – in organizations and with people. Never underestimate the impact you have. I recently spoke with a plant manager in a Western Canadian company who told me how years ago he was frustrated with his organization and ready to leave. He called his boss, the Western Canadian manager in Edmonton, with the intention to quit.

His bosses response: “Get on a plane. Let’s sit down and talk.”

They took a day together to examine  his concerns, negotiated to create a different kind of work culture, and openly discussed ways that he could get more support from his boss in terms of increased resources and time.

That was ten years ago. Both individuals still work for the company and this person still reports to the same boss. That was a turning point in his company and in his life.

Being a boss doesn’t make you a leader. But, great bosses are also great leaders. Don’t ever diminish the importance of the responsibility that comes with a title.

What are you doing as a boss to make a difference in the lives of those you serve?

The Invisible Mother – And Invisible Leaders

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This story came to me from my good friend Don Campbell. It speaks to the work of mothers, and may we all celebrate the work of mothers today. Take a few minutes to appreciate you mother. But this story, in a larger way, speaks to the humility and ego-less work of all great leaders at all levels and in all walks of life.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’

Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! ‘Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?’

Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, ‘What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’

Some days I’m a crystal ball; ‘Where’s my other sock? Where’s my phone? What’s for dinner?’

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature –but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, she’s gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well.

It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you this.’ It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe.

I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.’

In the days ahead I would read — no, devour the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it ‘ And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does’.

‘No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last- minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.’

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand- bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he’d say, ‘You’re gonna love it there ….’”

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

Being A Force Of Nature: Leadership At Any Level

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George Bernard Shaw, the Irish playwright, philosopher, and a co-founder of the London School of Economics, said that,

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”

You don’t need a title to be a “force of nature” in order to embrace leadership. I’ve seen people with no title whatsoever who are changing the world. Here are my seven keys to being a force of nature.

  1. A vision. What is your dream, your highest aspiration? What gets you up early? What inspires you to stay late, to learn the extra skills, to go  the extra mile? This could be a higher purpose, a mental picture of a new reality for yourself and others that you are excited about.  In short, do you possesses a vision for the future?
  2. Passion. “The history of mankind is the story of people selling themselves short,” wrote Abraham Maslow. You are more than you believe and passion is a key that unlocks the door to new possibilities. Influencing others starts on the inside. Passion begets passion.
  3. A decision. A choice to do your part however big or small that may be, to be a part of the solution, instead of a part of the problem. Decisions are what change lives. You can change the course of your very existence with a single decision.
  4. A commitment to serve. To make the world better by your presence. There appears to be two kinds of people in the world: Those who help, and those who hinder; those who give and those who take; those who lift, and those who lean; those who contribute, and those who consume. Which will you be?
  5. Love. Being a force of nature, at least a positive force, means that you are driven by love. If you are uncomfortable with the word “love,” call it caring, because impacting others means caring for people, not manipulating them.
  6. Authenticity. Great leadership – influencing others with love – cannot be reduced to technique; great leadership comes from the identity and integrity of the leader.
  7. Strong Character. There is no real excellence in this world that can be separated from right living. Character is the courage to face the demands of reality. It is integral to being a force of nature.Character means means standing on strong moral ground – uncompromising principles – and then being accountable – being a person who can be counted on.

What are your keys for being a force of nature? How are you a change agent by being a force of nature?

Are You A Boss Or A Leader?

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“One’s self is at the base of everything. Every action is a manifestation of the self. A person who doesn’t know themselves can do nothing for others.” —Eiji Yoshikawa, Japanese historical novelist

When you think about the bosses you have had in your life, you’ll find there are at least three kinds:

  1. Those who help you to become a better, more engaged employee and get your work done more effectively;
  2. Those who hinder you and make it more difficult to get your work done;
  3. Those who inspire you, help shape your character, and actually change your life. These kind of leaders don’t just make you a better employee, they make you a better person.

How is it that some bosses are merely bosses, while others become a true leader and may even end up serving as mentors? Why do some bosses merely manage the work, while others influence and build your moral fiber, model and teach new attitudes, behaviors and values, and create a constructive legacy for future generations? What is the distinction? And what can be done to turn people from a boss into a leader?

All organizations need bosses to manage the workflow and keep projects on schedule. But most organizations are over-bossed and under-led. It is our premise that the distinction between a “boss” and a “leader” ultimately lies in one’s presence, not in one’s position.

Leadership cannot be reduced to technique or position or power. Leadership comes from the strength of one’s authentic presence — the identity and integrity of the leader. At the core of all great leaders is an integrated human being. Simply put, being an authentic leader is synonymous with being yourself. It is that simple, and it is also that difficult.

Influencing others begins with knowing yourself. Leadership – the capacity to inspire and engage others toward a vision – is about presence, not position. This means you don’t need a title to be a leader; you only need a decision: to make the world a better place by your presence.

While most leadership development programs focus on the “practices” of leadership, ours focuses on the presence that lies at the core of leadership practices. While you can learn the tools, we help you develop yourself as the tool user: who you are as a person. With a stronger, more integrated presence, you become a better leader in every area of your life: at work, in your family, and in your community.

Regardless of their title, or even lack thereof, great leaders make the effort to understand what motivates them and what their priorities and personal values are. They strive towards alignment of what they do with who they are. This leads to discovering their authentic power and a truly rewarding and fulfilling life. When you discover this power, you will not only find the key to real leadership; you will find the key to life. A life aligned with your authentic self is life with greater balance, inner peace, vitality, meaning, and overall well-being. Leadership that is authentic helps those you love and serve reach unimaginable potential.

What Are You Mastering?

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The question of what unique abilities, traits, and practices that inspire and enable certain people to rise up and achieve greatness in their chosen vocations is one that has fascinated me for some time. It’s estimated that it takes upwards of ten thousand hours of practice to become a master, a world-class expert in a skill or a profession. An accomplished artist told me the other day that you need to paint full time, at least forty hours a week for two years before you are even ready to start selling your work.

Those rare individuals who dedicate their lives or their work or their desires to what they feel called to do inspire me.

Perseverance is a quality that may not always earn you the respect of the world but will give you the self-respect, well being, and inner peace to live a life of deep satisfaction. No one takes pride in doing something easy. It’s invigorating to keep at something even when it gets uncomfortable or difficult. It’s inspiring to stick with something you believe in, day after day, month after month, year after year, even if the world does not understand or support you.

It’s never too late to start the process of mastery. Many writers, artists, musicians, professionals, parents, and even some athletes, come into their prime later in life. If it takes ten years to become a master, wouldn’t you rather spend ten years on the journey of mastering than on the path of regret? You’re going to be ten years older in ten years anyway. Why not devote yourself to something worthwhile?

What inspires you? What have you started lately? What have you persevered at? What have you dedicated yourself to?

Activate Your Energy With A Renewed Purpose For Living

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I recently came across a fascinating story that illustrates how having a higher purpose – beyond self-interest – can activate your passion, your zest for life. Not only does this story have application for your personal life; it also has a strong and relevant business imperative as we attempt to build cultures that awaken the human spirit, engage people, and ignite their passion. Every employee needs a purpose where he or she feels their energies and focus are taking them somewhere. An authentic leader’s work is to find a way to active this – with yourself and others.
A news report a few years ago from Biloxi, Mississippi, powerfully illustrates how important a reason for living – beyond your own self-interest – is to activate your energy (see Og Mandino’s University of Success, p. 8).

A  twenty-four year old dancer jumped from a wharf in an attempt to commit suicide. As she later put it, she was “tired of living.” A young man saw her jump and, forgetting that he didn’t know how to swim, stripped off his coat and leaped in after her in a blind attempt to save a fellow human being. He began to thrash about in the water and was in serious danger of drowning when the young dancer, her own despair momentarily forgotten, paddled over to him, grabbed hold of him and pulled him safely ashore. Instead of ending her own life she saved the life of another.

In that crucial moment when she saw the young man struggling for life, her own life suddenly gained something it had lacked before: a purpose. What ended up drowning beneath the wharf that day was not this woman’s spirit, but her despair. She had known in a dramatic flash the difference between having nothing to live for and something to live for, and having pulled the young man to safety, she was herself taken to the hospital, treated for exposure, and released with a new lease on life.

Why do you get out of bed in the morning? What gets you up early? What keeps you up late? Where are you going? What are you doing to foster a sense of purpose – both in yourself and in those you serve as a leader? When’s the last time you had conversations that focused on these questions?

photo credit: Charged (license)