Tag Archive for: Inspiration

CHOICES MATTER How Small Decisions Unlock Big Potential

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It is our CHOICES that show who we truly are, more than our ABILITIES.

Harry Potter

Three decades ago, after an extended bout of depression, a struggling business, and a lengthy fight with addiction, I made a decision that changed my life. I didn’t “hope” my life would get better, because it wouldn’t. I decided it was going to get better. I decided, once and for all, that all blame was a waste of time. I decided that I was not going to be the product of my upbringing or my circumstances. Instead, I would develop from the choices I make in response to my circumstances. I decided that, if I was going to have a good day it wouldn’t depend on what was going on around me; it would depend on the choice I made. I decided to ask for help. And deciding made all the difference.

Spending the past thirty years in a recovery community I have come to know first-hand that small decisions truly unlock big potential. Every day I decide:

Will I take the path that leads to insanity and death, or will I take the path that leads to a reasonably fulfilled and useful life? Will I remain a sick person or will I choose to be a useful, contributing citizen?

When it’s a life-or-death decision you realize the power of a choice. One decision will shape our lives and direct our futures. One decision opens new possibilities while closing others. By making conscious choices, we exercise control over our paths and become active creators of our destinies rather than victims of our circumstances.

The Cost of Unconscious Choosing

Operating unconsciously means letting old habits, social conditioning, or fleeting emotions steer our actions. This can lead to patterns that don’t serve us: staying in unfulfilling jobs, repeating unhealthy relationships, or neglecting our well-being. When outcomes disappoint us, it’s easy to feel like life is happening to us, not for us. We become passive participants, attributing our dissatisfaction to bad luck or external forces.

From Victimhood to Mastery

The antidote to being a passive participant is conscious choice. When we pause and reflect on our motivations and intentions, we reclaim authorship of our lives. Even small decisions—like choosing to respond with kindness instead of irritation, or dedicating time to a personal goal—can have profound ripple effects. By becoming aware of our choices, we shift from being victims of circumstance to masters of our fate.

Empowerment Through Awareness and Courage

This awareness of our choices begins the journey to empowerment. By regularly checking in with ourselves—asking, “Why am I doing this?” or “Is this aligned with my values?”—we create space between stimulus and response. In that space lies our power to choose differently, to break free from limiting patterns, and to steer our lives in the direction we truly desire.

Choice is a fundamental human right and catalyst for personal growth. Not being conscious of our choices, however, can quietly erode our sense of control, leaving us feeling victimized without even knowing it. But by cultivating awareness and intentionality, we transform from passive recipients of circumstance into active creators of our destinies.

Trauma leaves traces on our minds and bodies.

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It leaves an imprint on everything we touch, the way we think, the way we feel, the way we interact with those around us, and the way we live.

Join me this Friday, April 25th for a webinar focused on Trauma, Loss & Recovery.

  1. Leave with a greater understanding of trauma, its impact on our lives, and what a healing journey can look like.
  2. Learn how trauma is not what happens to you; it is what happens inside you because of what happens to you.
  3. Leave with guideposts for navigating the trauma and the journey of recovery, along with insights for supporting others through their trauma journey.

Click here to secure your complimentary seat.

SHATTERED OPEN – How Tragedies Can Help Us Grow

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In the summer of 2024 approximately thirty percent of the beautiful townsite of Jasper, Alberta was destroyed in a fire that swept through that community. Of the 1,113 structures in the town, 358 of them burned. The wildfire covered an estimated 33,000 hectares, the largest wildfire recorded in the park in a century. A mass evacuation of 25,000 residents and visitors occurred in July last year with the evacuation order lasting until August 17. Tragically, one firefighter lost his life during the containment efforts. The insurance claims for damages are reaching nearly a billion dollars, making this tragedy one of Canada’s most expensive natural disasters.

There isn’t a person connected to this pristine community who was not impacted by the disaster. And the journey to recovery, rebuilding, and healing will last a lifetime.

While those who don’t live in Jasper can’t possibly know what it was like to go through the fires, perhaps some who did can help us understand the choices and challenges we all face in times of tragedy and trauma: Will we be shattered and defeated, or shattered open and transformed?

We all know people who have risen from a life interrupted, from the ashes of trauma – illness, loss of a loved one or business or home, divorce, layoff, bankruptcy, abuse – to emerge stronger, wiser, and more connected to their passion and purpose. How can you embrace unimaginable difficulty in a way that allows the pain to break you open so a better person can emerge from it?

Here are three reminders to get through a tragedy:

  1. There is no prescribed way to get through a devastating loss. The only way to get to the other side is through it. And you get through it by honoring whatever you’re experiencing.
  2. We’ve all heard that “when one door closes another one opens.” What they don’t tell you is that it’s hell in the corridor. It’s the corridor that’s toughest to navigate.
  3. There’s no such thing as “closure.” Closure is a fabricated concept used to give us an artificial sense of comfort in the pain. Instead of seeking closure, we heal by acknowledging and integrating gratitude and grief into our lives simultaneously. Healing is a life-long journey.

RISE ABOVE – Unleashing Potential Through the Power of Accountability

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From the ages of fourteen to eighteen I worked part-time alongside Bob Dye, a carpenter that my parents hired for renovation projects. I remember the care that Bob put into his work. He was a true craftsman. He left nothing to chance. He took pride in his work. He taught me how to hold a hammer and how to sink a nail. He taught me how to use a power saw safely and how to square a floor in a crooked house. He showed up every day on time with a smile on his face and a positive attitude. Whether he was framing or finishing, craftsmanship showed through in everything he did.

He was patient with me when I made mistakes. I think he liked working with me because I showed up on time and worked hard. In hindsight, I’m sure I slowed him down, but he never mentioned it. I remember cutting a dozen two-by-fours three inches too short. He smiled and responded, “I also had to learn the hard way that it’s always good to measure twice and cut once.” I imagine my dad talked with him about having him apprentice me, both in carpentry and in life. My attitude was certainly bigger than my skill level, and he respected me for that. He was shy and gentle and had a big heart and was always kind and generous to me. I looked forward to working alongside him on Saturdays, after school, holidays, and summers. Dad would work with us whenever he could. I’m grateful that I had older men in my life that loved me, took time for me, and were good role models.

My parents paid Bob by the project, and when the project was done, he would give them an invoice and say, “Take your time and inspect our work. If it meets your standards, pay me. If not, there’s no charge and we’ll re-do it.” Bob was serious, even though not getting paid would have put a severe financial hit on his family. He also had a respectful way of making me feel part of his team, that we had achieved this together, even though he did the real work and there was just the two of us.

That pay-me-when-you-know-it’s-done-right approach was not a show. It was a demonstration of integrity. It was an expression of his character. And not once, in all those years, did we have to re-do a job or not get paid. As it turned out, Bob inspired me with a blueprint for how to run my business for the past forty years.

It’s inspiring to be around an accountable person, a person that can be counted on, a person that takes pride in their work, who demonstrates care and civility, who shows up, is committed to creating value before they get paid, and who makes you a better person for being in their presence. I’ll always cherish Bob for being my mentor.

Accountability is not a hammer to punish people. Accountability was never meant to be used as a disciplinary measure. Even though we need to face the consequences of our choices, accountability is not an HR performance management process or appraisal program. Accountability – the ability to be counted on – is a philosophy of life that inspires and empowers us to rise above mediocrity, renews our workplaces, restores our mojo, and gives us our freedom.

Habituation

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Is it helpful or harmful? How to recognize it in ourselves and our teams.

My daughter gave me this poster, saying that it reminded her of one of the values I instilled in her. Very touching.

This framed picture – gifted to me by my daughter – inspired me every time I sat at my desk – until I stopped noticing it and it became just another part of the woodwork.

This is something called habituation, a fundamental learning mechanism that can be both helpful and potentially harmful, depending on the context. Understanding how it works and recognizing its effects can be valuable for personal growth and team leadership.

Habituation allows us to filter out irrelevant information and focus on what’s required in the moment. This cognitive efficiency is crucial in our information-rich environment, helping us allocate our limited processing resources more effectively. It reduces stress by reducing our response to repeated, non-threatening stimuli.

One drawback though, is that extraordinary things around us get unnoticed over time. The beauty of a sunset or a star-lit night becomes commonplace. Inspiring quotes become wall hangings. The incredible strengths of the people on our team become ordinary. The qualities we once prized in another are now dull, unnoticed, and mundane.

While becoming cognitively efficient, complacency can set in and the beauty and meaning of life can be missed.

Ask yourself, “How can I s-l-o-w d-o-w-n and be present to the magnificence around me that I might be missing in my hurried, demanding life?”

We are clever people, efficient and high-powered, but in our zeal to get things done, we can forget the simple art of living. Let’s resolve to be mindful and attentive today to the splendor around us that has become ordinary.

Building a Bucket List Board: Inspire Your Team With What Matters

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One of the most rewarding parts of my business is the quality of the leaders I meet. One of these leaders is Dean Koeller, CEO of Calvert Home Mortgage Investment Corporation. Mentored and encouraged by his father to build an organization that truly cares, it’s inspiring to walk into his workplace. Invigorating and welcoming, you’ll find his team engaged in lively conversations, sharing ideas and laughter. There is a palpable sense of community. This atmosphere not only inspires productivity, it makes employees feel valued and connected to one another, ultimately cultivating a strong sense of belonging within the organization and a commitment to serve their clients and their community in the same way.

When I asked for an example of how he cultivates such an incredible culture, Dean took me into the lunchroom and introduced me to the Calvert Team Bucket List. Every team member is encouraged to post on the board a project they are pursuing – away from work – that matters to them. You see people climbing mountains, preparing for triathlons, traveling to amazing places, going up in balloons, and visiting grandchildren. You learn what challenges people, inspires people, and is important to them. You learn why people come to work. You learn things that many individuals, hidden behind office doors and computer screens, may work together for years and never know.

Three things I learned about leadership from Dean:

  1. Caring is everything. Dean didn’t do this as a “leadership technique.” Everything Dean does comes from his heart. It’s who he is. Caring is at the core of everything in his organization. He genuinely wants to know people better and the bucket list board is a way to learn about them and celebrate who they are.
  2. Recognizing what matters to people matters. Creating a space to acknowledge what’s important to your team in a unique and authentic way connects people and transforms a company into a community. And a community is a safe place for people to be who they are and be inspired to bring the best of who they are to what they do.
  3. What you give will come back to you – multiplied. Whether you’re celebrating what matters or simply taking the time to listen to and value people, your team will give it their all to build a successful organization when they know you’re giving your all to them. Loyalty, trust, and a commitment to service don’t come from expecting. They come from giving.

The Calvert Team Bucket List Board is an example of a unique method for building a caring culture and it goes a long way in creating psychological safety in his organization. Psychological safety is a crucial element for fostering high-performing teams and innovative work environments. People need to feel safe to express their ideas, admit mistakes, and challenge the status quo without fear of negative repercussions. People need to know it’s expected that they will be who they are. Psychological safety abounds in Dean’s organization and his team thrives as a result.