In my work with executives, I am continuously struck by how those who have the credibility and the respect of their employees and colleagues are those that practice what I refer to as ‘caring leadership’. It was Voltaire who  referred to what I discuss in this article as a “triumph of humanity.” Innumerable triumphs of humanity occur every day when executives, managers, teachers, coaches, parents and others invest themselves selflessly in caring about and developing others.

During his thirty years at Meredith Corporation, James Autry was known as one of the most respected magazine executives in America, overseeing a $500 million operation with over 900 employees. “Leadership,” Autry was known to say, “is a largely a matter of love. Or if you’re uncomfortable with that word, call it caring, because good leadership involves caring for people, not manipulating them.”

Caring for people is not a fad. It’s a tried, true, and timeless principle that will always be a part of great leadership. James Autry had it right and in today’s increasingly complex, demanding, and changing world, it’s never been more true. In a position of leadership – whether executive, manager, supervisor, school principal, board chair, or parent – you are asked to hold a group of people that you serve in trust. However, having a title does not make you a leader. Holding a position of leadership is like having a driver’s license. Just because you have one doesn’t make you a good one. One measure of a leader is the capacity to influence, but another is the direction of that influence. Is the leader influencing others towards a goal worth pursuing? Leaders who influence are leaders who care – about their people, about the work they do, and about the difference they make.

Here’s what I believe it takes be a caring leader:

1. A Decision. Caring is a decision. It’s not an emotion. You can decide to care about someone. If you care enough to look deep enough, you will find a reason to care. You can’t always control how you feel about other people, but you can certainly control how you behave toward others. Caring is not how you feel; caring is how you act. Caring is not a noun; it’s a verb. It’s leadership in action. The eminent NFL football coach, Vince Lombardi, said, “You don’t have to like your players and associates, but as leaders, you are called upon to love them.”
2. Discipline. Almost everything humanly expressed beautifully in the world – a musical piece, a work of art, an athletic performance, or successful business venture – is manifested through discipline. The art of caring leadership is no different. Being disciplined about care means intentionally setting aside uninterrupted time to be present for people – in your office, in their office, on the plant floor. I’m not a fan of an “open door” policy for leaders. What I do like is structured office hours when employees know you will be there for them and with them. It takes discipline to carve out the time to show you care. The effort required to a build a discipline of paying attention and extending yourself for others takes work, but it’s worth it. Caring in this way is filled with rewards since having someone listen to them and acknowledge their story rewards everyone. The renowned business philosopher, Jim Rohn, once said, “for every disciplined effort, there is a multiple reward.”
3. Space. So just what do you do in that disciplined time that you have set aside? You turn off the computer and the cell phone and anything else that can be an interruption, and you give people your full attention. You create an uninterrupted space that makes it safe to be open and honest. You can create a space in your office or you can create a space in their world. Creating space means making the workplace safe to do their work, to make mistakes, and to be who they are. Space is where the real work of leadership is done – sharing the vision, the beliefs, the values – and how all this relates to where the organization is headed and where the employee is needed.
4. Kindness. Leadership is about producing results, but caring leadership involves being committed to people’s growth as you produce results together. Willingness to feel the pain of another’s journey and accepting without equivocation a person’s failings provides a sense that “we are in this together”. Kindness means expressing genuine concern through knowing the name, the interests, and the values of every person held in trust to you. Kindness means expressing appreciation, offering a word of encouragement, or catching people doing things right. George Washington Carver said, “Be kind to others. How far you go in life depends upon your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in your life, you will have been all of these.”
   The Absence of Self-Importance. T. S. Eliot once said, “half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important.”Manipulation, by definition, is influencing people for personal gain. Caring means you don’t need to take the credit. Caring means you make it about others, not you. Caring means a willingness to leave your ego at the door and make others feel important.
5. Service. Albert Schweitzer said, “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know. The only ones among us who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.” Servant leadership is being committed to serve those in your care, insuring that they have what need to get their job done and grow in the process. Servant leadership is different than “pleasing” leadership, where your effort is spent trying to give people what they want. Pleasing breeds resentment, results in burnout, and turns you into a slave. Serving leads to freedom, self-respect, and well-being within and around you. You can’t make everyone on your team happy. What you can do is support their success by helping them meet their needs. Start by making a list of what you think your staff needs – resources, training, support – to achieve the results that are expected of them. Simultaneously, have them make a list. Then compare lists and have continual conversations about how you will work together to meet those needs.
6. Clear – And High – Expectations. Caring means building a platform where people can grow. You don’t show caring by having low standards or letting people off the hook. You have to care about people and the results they produce. Caring requires high support and accompanying high expectations. You care by supporting people to go beyond what they thought they could do. Then hold them accountable for what they have agreed to. These expectations are part of a leader’s value system that must be communicated to those being led. It is important to define your top priorities with your workers and clarify the results and the attitude that you need from them. Then model what you expect – so you will be credible to hold them accountable.
7. Organizations don’t give a leader power. Power comes from the people you serve. You earn power by earning the trust of others. And if you don’t use this power well, they will take it away from you. They take it away by making leading difficult for you by resisting and refusing to be influenced, even if they pretend to follow you because you have a legislated title.

When you choose to extend yourself by serving, sacrificing, and caring for others, you increase your capacity to influence. My good friend and high school principal, Larry Dick, says, “Caring leaders are invitational leaders.” When you care, you invite people along on a journey, and inspire them to join you. You offer them a seat on the bus – not because they have to but because they want to. A leader who knows how to influence through genuine caring will be a leader who is in great demand. The paradox, of course, is that caring leaders don’t do it to be in demand. They do it because they care.

When James Autry wrote his best-selling book, Love and Profit in 1991, he examined carefully the financial benefits of the timeless principle of leading with love. But I think he would agree that profit comes in many forms besides income, including personal and professional growth, increased confidence, friendships, community, an opportunity to contribute and make a difference, and a fulfilling, meaningful life. At the end of the day, why else are we going to work.

My father was a “closet artist.” He had a beautiful, artistic side that was repressed because our culture led him to believe that to be successful you had to have an office job, so he was an administrator. Suppressing his artistic, authentic self nearly cost him his life, sending him into an early retirement from the office job and into a decade of depression. It was not until he returned to university at the age of 65 to study art that his spirit awakened.

I am working on a project with the world-renowned artist, Murray Phillips, to teach the leaders in an organization how to use art to be more connected with their authentic selves and those they serve. We had a brilliant conversation this week about the role of art in one’s life, about the value of connecting with our artistic self, about honoring the artist within us, and about how all this makes us better people and better leaders.

“You don’t say that someone is ‘very’ physical,” said Murray. “We simply are physical. It is not a matter of degree. It’s part of the human experience. So why should we say that a person is ‘very’ spiritual, or ‘very’ artistic? These too, are part of the human experience.” Everybody is artistic because everybody has something to express. Try not expressing anything for twenty-four hours and see what happens. You may find yourself losing energy, becoming despondent, or you may even feel like you will burst. You will then need to write a letter, draw a picture, garden, or embark on a project.

“Art,” according to Murray, “is a language, a language that we can learn. It is a mistake to think we can communicate everything verbally. In the language of art, words don’t exist.” This is why art can be used to express a range of emotions – grief, joy, inner peace – that words cannot reach. As we learn this language of art we connect with our authentic self and the world around us in new, expanded ways, thus deepening our capacity to influence others with greater presence, and most importantly, enjoy this experience we call human more fully.

One of the indicators of a hurried, troubled, stressed world is that we disconnect from art and then stop noticing the beauty, wonder, and awe of life. This  then limits our full capacity  as human beings. Being disconnected with our authentic self, with our humanness, separates us from each other and from the environment. What we separate from we neglect or destroy.

What are you doing to learn, deepen, and express the language of art in your life? What are you doing to stop and notice beauty around you? When was the last time you were in awe?

For a taste of Murray Phillips’ beautiful work (along with John Gilliat’s brilliant guitar playing), take five minutes to stop and watch: http://johngilliat.com

As we “spring ahead” and begin to think about the coming season of growth and renewal, I have been contemplating how we can encourage and support others by “enlarging” them. In the following article I offer some suggestions I hope will “enlarge” your outlook and actions.

“Believe in your heart of hearts that your fundamental purpose, your reason for being, is to enlarge the lives of others. As you enlarge the lives of others, your life will be enlarged. And all the other things we have been taught to concentrate on will take care of themselves.” – Pete Thigpen, Former President, Levi Strauss

Last week I had the privilege of touring the plant of a client who hired me to help improve the culture of his organization. As we wandered around, the CEO introduced me to everyone we came across – in the halls, the offices, the labs, and on the shop floors. But he didn’t just know everyone’s name and title. He made a point, whenever possible and appropriate, of making a brief – and positive – comment about everyone. When he introduced me to the janitor, the caretaker’s eyes widened and brightened as the CEO told me how he puts pride into everything he does and that he’ll be greatly missed when he retires next month after more than a quarter century of service. Every employee smiled as they were introduced and the CEO said something positive about the unique contribution they individually made to the well-being of this company.

This CEO understands a fundamental responsibility of leaders: to enlarge the lives of every one of their employees.

As I think of my own staff, I realize that I often take them for granted. I give them work to do, put pressure on them to deliver on their accountabilities, and attempt to give them support to do their work. But do I actually make a conscious effort toenlarge their lives? We all get into our routines, our habits, our mundane patterns. In a world of incessant demands, it is easy to lose touch with the people around us and the real work of leadership.

Here are seven ways to enlarge the lives of others:

1. Care. Enlarging the lives of people isn’t a technique. You can’t fake it. People will see right through you. We all get busy and forget to notice people. Your staff will forgive you for forgetting. What they won’t forgive you for is not caring. Enlarging the lives of people involves caring about people, not manipulating them. People are uplifted and better by being around people who care about them.
2. Serve. Serving means having a commitment to people’s growth as much as finding the resources to help them get their job done. Serving means making the success of others more important than your own. Serving means making others look good and being willing to not take the credit. Great leaders know that you can’t necessarily make people happy, but you can help them take pride in themselves and their work – by seeing their worth, beyond what they may see in themselves.
3. Make Time. Enlarging the lives of others takes time. Take time to learn names. But more than that, take time to learn about what matters to people you serve, the names of their family members, and the kind of things they do when they are away from work. Leadership is more than just wandering around. It’s tuning in. It’s paying attention. It’s being in touch. Carry a notepad and make a note of what’s important to the people on your team.
4. Challenge. If you are going to enlarge the lives of others you have to push them beyond their comfort zone. You have to set a standard that stretches them. And you have to encourage them. “You can do this;” “I trust you;” and “I believe in you;” are enlarging statements. Then model the way. When was the last time you encouraged someone to go beyond what’s easy? When is the last time you did something for the first time?
5. Accountability. Collin Powell, the former US Secretary of State, once said that“everyone on a team knows who is and who is not performing and they are looking to you as the leader to see what you are going to do about it.” You don’t enlarge the lives of people when you let them off the hook or hold back from having the difficult conversations. Set clear standards and hold people accountable. It enlarges the lives of everyone.
6. Safety. Enlargement is about creating an environment where people can grow. Bruce Lipton, a cellular biologist, says that a cell has only two options in life: to grow or to protect. If the cell perceives its environment to be toxic it will go into protection mode. When it perceives its environment to be nourishing, it will enlarge. To enlarge the lives of others, you must create an environment that is physically and psychologically safe – safe to work without harm, safe to make mistakes without fear, safe to be honest without retribution, safe to be yourself without judgment.
7. Appreciation. Appreciation is about acknowledging (both privately and publicly) effective, productive action. Appreciation is recognizing people when they take special care in a delivery, when they go out of their way to fix a glitch in a product, when they make a customer feel extra special, when they send the order out early, when they go the extra mile. Appreciation isn’t empty praise. Appreciation is genuine recognition when someone makes a difference. It’s about catching people doing things right rather than succumbing to the seemingly natural tendency to criticize. Say thank you. What you appreciate, appreciates.

When you are mindful and intentional about making these actions a habit, the lives of people around you will naturally enlarge. As you help people grow in this way, it will inevitably come back to you in the form of commitment, loyalty, and results. As you enlarge the lives of others, your life and your organization will be enlarged. And all the other things we have been taught to concentrate on really do seem to take care of themselves.

What are you doing to enlarge the lives of others? Your staff? Your co-workers?  Your customers? Your family and friends? I’d love to hear your success stories.