Tag Archive for: leadership

Building Belonging: The Power of Connection

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When Justin was early in recovery from a brutal, deadly five-year crystal meth addiction, his withdrawal symptoms were debilitating and painful, including excruciating paranoia and an inability to sleep. Some of his paranoia was grounded in reality. He had drug dealers and gang members breathing down his neck.
His grandmother, who was caring for him and desperate to help, asked if he wanted to go to church with her. “Maybe Jesus can help you sleep,” she said one Sunday morning. Justin had no interest in Jesus but liked his grandmother and had nothing else to do, so he went along.
It turned out that he got so bored with the sermon that he fell asleep.
Week after week, he kept going. And every week he would sleep through the service. He became a permanent fixture in the congregation. Often you could hear him snoring, but no one disturbed him. They let him be. In fact, long after the congregation left, Justin would still be lying there, fast asleep. The pastor let him sleep in the chapel all Sunday.
When I asked him why he kept going to church, he said, “It’s the only place I feel safe enough to sleep.” He eventually became an active member in the church community. It was a big part of his recovery journey.
Acceptance of another is not without boundaries, expectations, or consequences; it’s not necessarily about agreement or condoning behaviors that we would not choose for ourselves. Instead, it is a deep and simple respect for another human being. It’s an understanding that transcends judgement, prejudice, and marginalization.
Acceptance is the cornerstone to belonging and becomes part of the foundation of a psychologically safe place to live and work. Our awareness of the importance of psychological safety to create high trust, highly engaged, productive organizations, has increased dramatically in recent years as employees demand better workplace cultures. Building a sense of acceptance and belonging with your team is a critical factor in building a high-performance culture in your organization.
I suggest three critical strategies for ensuring that you are building belonging around you:
  1. Take time to think about belonging on your team. Reflect on whether every team member knows that they belong, that their contribution is recognized and appreciated, and they feel accepted as a valuable member of the team.
  2. Reflect on your own inner state. Pay particular attention to how you handle stress, and how your emotional state creates either tension or inspiration in the people who depend on you.
  3. Look at your own values. Take an honest inventory of how you feel about the people on your team. Examine carefully where you have judgements and how it’s helping or hindering your success.

Holistic Management Annual General Meeting

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Earlier this month, I had the pleasure of presenting at the Holistic Management Annual General Meeting. https://lnkd.in/dQY3YdVp

The event was held at the Lloydminster Agriculture Exhibition Association.

There is an incredible team running this facility, a team that has been built over the past forty years through the leadership of a truly remarkable community leader, Mike Sidoruk.

In the hallway, you will find this sign:

 

We all leave a legacy. What will be yours?

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We all leave a legacy. What will be yours?

The older I get, the more the light of my success fades against the brightness of the successes of my children and grandchildren. Watching my daughters’ launch into satisfying careers brings joy beyond my own deeply fulfilling vocation. And my personal achievements pale next to my grandson’s academic and athletic accomplishments.

A wise grandfather once told me, “you can tell when you have instilled your values in your children when your grandchildren teach you what you tried to teach your children.”

Just as I take pride in my progeny’s success, I also recognize my team’s brilliance in facilitating our SAGE Forums: https://lnkd.in/dktaE-XM
Their capacity outshines my abilities, and as I realize this, it gives me a sense of satisfaction beyond my personal achievements and recognition.

Even in my speaking and workshops, satisfaction is coming from what participants discover within themselves. It appears that aging is a course in ego reduction.

As we mature, we begin to reflect on existential questions of: Why am I here? What difference am I making? What will my legacy be? If you are fortunate enough to confront these questions, you realize there is an opportunity to do good in the time you have left. This is what makes life meaningful.

Meaning is, to paraphrase Joseph Campbell, not to be sought after, but something to be experienced by being fully alive to what is in front of us at each moment. And on the journey, you begin to realize the paradox that legacy isn’t what we leave behind; it’s the difference we’re making now.

We all leave a legacy. What will be yours?

 

 

What are the stories that run your life?

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What are the stories that run your life?

After reading Dain Dunston’s thought-provoking book, Being Essential: Seven Questions for Living and Leading with Radical Self-Awareness, I was intrigued by the notion that our stories can unconsciously drive our lives. So we best be sure that we know what these narratives are and that they are true for the context we are currently living.

At four years old, I was incubated in an oxygen tent with a poliovirus infection. It created significant trauma, as I didn’t see my parents for weeks. In those days no visitors were allowed. I remember lying there alone crying myself to sleep, wondering if they would ever return.

After I went home, my arms and legs were very weak, so my father, a gymnast, coached me on the parallel bars and tumbling mat in our basement each day to help rebuild my strength.

And when I was bullied and teased at school, attributed, at least in part, to the residue of a weakened body, my dad would say, “Don’t pray for the world to get easier, pray for you to get stronger.”

The result of years of passionate dedication was a track scholarship at university. I credit my ability to overcome adversity through discipline and focused work to my father’s patient and persistent support and love. My commitment and the results that followed increased my confidence as I went on to build a successful speaking and consulting business.

However, in the process, I unconsciously created a story that my worth is dependent on what I can prove to the world I can overcome and achieve.

While the story served a vital purpose at the time, it eventually exceeded its function and led to unbridled ambition and eventual workaholism, tension, neglected relationships, a life out of balance, and burnout.

As I find my security from within, the narrative is now shifting from proving myself to expressing myself, from uncontrolled obsession to meaningful, focused contribution in my work.

The journey was enhanced by Dain’s insights. I recommend his book to those committed to living an authentic life with greater self-awareness.

 

Journalling – How To Get Going And Keep Going

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Journalling – How To Get Going And Keep Going

Connection to others is critical in good leadership and starts with connection to yourself. Journalling is a great tool for self-connection.

Here are some guidelines to get you going and keep you going:

  1. Buy a nice journal. I love a good leather-covered one I can feel proud to write in.
  2. Have a regular time to write – in the morning, at the end of the day, or, for example, every Sunday morning as you reflect on the past seven days and the week ahead. I like to spend five minutes journalling when I first come in the office, before I turn on my computer. It helps me connect to myself before the barrage of the world’s demands start hitting me.
  3. Experiment with structure. Sometimes journalling is a brain dump, a process I learned from Julia Cameron. Her journalling method is three pages of stream-of-consciousness writing. Other times I use a structure of a) How am I feeling? (Including wins in the past 24 hours, lessons learned, and glitches); b) How will I show up today? c) What am I grateful for?
  4. Write less than you think you “should.” Like exercise, it’s better to have small consistent successes than big failures. Two or three sentences is great while you’re getting into the habit.
  5. Don’t show it to anyone. You aren’t writing to impress anyone. It won’t be graded. It is only for you.
  6. Don’t sweat it if journalling doesn’t work for you. It isn’t for everyone. There are lots of other tools for connecting with yourself.

The Myth Of A High-Functioning Team

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The Myth Of A High-Functioning Team

In forty years of doing this work, I have never come across a dysfunctional team. Every team has elements of disfunction and elements of health and falls somewhere on that spectrum. There is no formula. No template.

I have seen teams that are achieving incredible results that would fail dismally in terms of measuring up to what experts would describe as a “high functioning team.” And I’ve seen teams that can check off all the “High Functioning Teams” boxes but are still failing miserably.

This can also be said for leaders and individuals. There’s no blueprint. From our research and observation, however, six actions will support the health of any team:

  1. Know your why. And make sure everyone is clear, inspired and aligned with that purpose. A clear purpose leads to clarity about how much trust, engagement, and accountability you require.
  2. Connect contribution to purpose. Every team member needs to know that they made a meaningful contribution.
  3. Get the right people on the bus. You can’t train for character or chemistry. You can’t make a good hockey team out of a bunch of tennis players.
  4. Get clear about what you expect from each other. Ambiguity leads to mediocrity. Be sure to include, in the expectations, how you can best support each other.
  5. Turn expectations into agreements. Hold each other accountable for delivering on the promises you make to each other and to the people you serve.
  6. Stay self-aware. Be open for feedback. Keep learning. A team that learns together stays together – or at least stays engaged.

If you are interested to learn more about building a healthy culture, join us for this month’s complimentary webinar: https://lnkd.in/d37Prt4a