Tag Archive for: leadership

New Year’s Resolutions – or New Year’s Revolutions

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It’s that time of year when people make all kinds of resolutions: lose weight, spend less, quit smoking, improve a relationship, etc. But so often these resolutions turn into clubs to hit ourselves with come February when we are already off track. Here are some suggestions for turning resolutions into revolutions: lasting change in your life.

  1. Be honest with yourself. If you don’t really want or need change your life, relax. After all, you don’t have to make a new year’s resolution just because everyone else is. Either let go of this “resolution” thing or have some fun with it. If you are serious about making some changes in your life, read further.
  2. Think carefully before you make a promise to yourself. The Law of Integrity means that making promises will affect your self-respect. Whether you make a promise to your banker, your son, or yourself, honoring or dishonoring that promise will have an impact on your self-worth. So… only make promises you know you will keep.
  3. Take a careful inventory. Evaluate your intentions to change: Have you clearly identified what you want in your life and set a date when you expect to manifest it? Have you identified the obstacles you must overcome in order to manifest it? Have you identified the groups, people, organizations and what it is you need to know in order to get there? Have you written all this down? Have you clearly stated why the goals are important to you? (When your “why” gets stronger, the “how” gets easier; purpose is always stronger then the objective.)
  4. Turn goals into habits. Get out your day-timer and schedule in the promises you have made to yourself and others. Change one small habit at a time. Success comes through small consistent habits, not big inconsistent splashes. The universe rewards action. And when it comes to New Year’s resolutions, it’s the tortoise who wins the race.
  5. Stay focused. Write your goals down and carry them with you. Read them in the morning and in the evening before you go to bed. Visualize. Mediate on them.
  6. Get support. You will never change your life alone. Ask for help. Get an accountability partner to hold you to your promises. Get involved with a support group. Find a coach or therapist to help you. Learn about the changes you want to make in your life. Study the art and science of success. I recommend two books: Deepak Chopra’s, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success; and Jack Canfield’s, The Success Principles.
  7. Enjoy your life now. If you aren’t happy now, don’t expect it to get any better when you achieve your goals. Joy in life has to do with your relationship with the present moment. Fulfillment comes from enjoying the process of discovering and expressing yourself more fully in the service of others. What the future holds for you depends on your state of consciousness now. Relax. The universe is designed to help you out. The purpose of life is to grow and evolve your soul and find joy on the journey, so you can bring joy to others.

Christmas Is About Opening Your Heart, Not Your Wallet

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I heard a great quote this week on a movie trailer: “I don’t like Christmas, but I like getting presents.” This could be said about me. Every year I say to myself, “I don’t like all the materialism that comes with Christmas… Santa is a myth perpetrated by the consumer marketplace to get people spending in the fourth quarter!”

But then I stopped to examine what was really going on. If I were truly honest with myself, this righteous attitude was an excuse to let my wife do all the shopping. After all, “I’m busy at work, earning money so we can afford presents. I’m doing more important things than hanging around crowded malls full of materialistic shoppers.”

But something in me woke up this year. I started to realize how I have not only abdicated my responsibility for shopping, but in the process, kept my heart closed.

Even though I procrastinated my shopping, this week I am actually getting into the stores, but more importantly I am getting into my heart. And it’s been good for me to tune in to the people I care most about and ask, “How can the most important people in my  life feel loved right now?” It’s a question that needs answering all year round, but this time of year awakens us to the importance of the question. In the words of Charles Dickens,“I have always thought of Christmas as a good time, a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time. It’s the only time in the long calendar of the year when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely and to think of people around them as fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.”

Bringing this attitude into the season has opened me to love and gratefully connected me to my soul, to my fellow travelers on this human experience, and to the spirit of life that goes well beyond the meaningless purchasing of presents under the pressure of another to-do list.

And then, I had a conversation with a friend this morning who just returned from visiting his dying sister. He talked of the unsung heroes in our world, not the philanthropic executives who donate money to charity this time of year to make a public appearance of benevolence. The real heroes are people who serve and give to their communities every day of the year without any expectation of personal or public recognition. An example are dying patients who, in the midst of their own suffering, comfort a fellow patient lying in a bed next to them.

Christmas brings to our attention our life-giving need to love and realize our connection to each other. It truly is about the heart, not the wallet (even though the wallet is be a good place to start if there’s money there).

What is your experience of love, both now and after the glow of the season is extinguished?

Holidays, Rest, and Renewal

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A coaching session with an executive earlier this week reminded me that this time of year is so hectic: social obligations, family commitments, shopping malls, company parties. Is it really meant to be so crazy? Our family has made it a habit to stop, reflect, and design the holidays in a way that is right for us. Life – and time – is getting too precious to spend it on obligations that are not in alignment with our deepest values. I’ve lived enough of my life under other people’s conditions, and am learning to be true to myself.

For me, the season is about four things:

  1. Rest – from a very busy fall;
  2. Relationships – with people that matter the most to me;
  3. Reflection – an inventory of 2010 and goal setting for 2011;
  4. Renewal – time to do what we love to do: playing games as a family, spending time outdoors, catching up on some reading, being still, and just hanging out.

I have learned that one of the keys to a full life is to say “no” to the wrong opportunities. No better time to test and practice this than during the holiday season. Learning this is still a work in progress.

I feel enormous gratitude for my blessed life. I hope you will take time to design this holiday in a way that is true to you, and I wish you and your loved ones the greatest blessing of all: inner peace.

Obuntubotho – The Essence of Being Human – And of Being A Great Leader

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When Bishop Desmond Tutu introduced Nelson Mandela at his inauguration as the new president of South Africa, he described him as being a man who had Obuntubotho. “Obuntubotho,” he said, “is the essence of being human. You know when it is there and when it is absent. It speaks about humanness, gentleness, putting yourself out on behalf of others, being vulnerable. It embraces compassion and toughness. It recognizes that my humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together.”

Obuntubotho is not only the essence of being human. It’s the essence of great leadership, because the essence of great leadership is being human.

Who do you know in your workplace or in your life who has this quality of Obuntubotho? When you stop and pay attention, you know when it’s there, and you know when it is absent. As a leader, how are you consciously developing this quality within yourself?

Creating A Remarkable Culture: Learning To Lead Without A Title

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Do you work in a culture that you would call “remarkable?” Are you depending on someone else to make it remarkable, or do you take ownership to create a remarkable culture in the area where you work and can influence? The title of this blog is the title of some of my most recent presentations and workshops. Here are some of the key messages I have been giving to organizations these days:

Building resilient, vibrant organizational cultures is about building leadership capacity at every level and in every position. I define leadership as the capacity of human beings to shape and create a new future by inspiring and engaging others. Leadership is what transforms mediocrity into greatness.

You don’t get promoted to leadership. Leadership is about presence, not position. It’s not a title; it’s a decision. Every person in your organization is a potential leader.

Growing and developing the leadership talent of every single person throughout your organization is your greatest competitive advantage in a turbulent economy.

Learning to lead without a title is the responsibility of every employee.

I love what Dr. Martin Luther King said about personal leadership:

“If a person is called to be a street sweeper, they should sweep streets as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare poetry. They should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did their job well.’”

Even if you have a title, you have to learn to lead without one. One of my clients is very wise. Before he promotes someone into a leadership position, he assesses their leadership capacity by inviting them to work in a nonprofit organization (of their choice) for six months, to see how well they influence with no positional power. “If you can’t lead volunteers, you’ll never be able to lead with a title,” he proposes. Not a bad philosophy.

How do you help people in your organization – with or without positional power – develop their leadership capacity? I’d love to get your thoughts on this.

Remembrance Day, The Horrors of War, and Living Honorably: “Earn This.”

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My sister, Kate, lost her father (my mother’s first husband) in WWII, so Remembrance Day has always had significance to me. But with our Canadian Armed Forces in Afghanistan, Remembrance Day now has a different feel to it. It’s more real. It’s closer to home. I was moved this year by CBC’s stories of some of the Canadian families who have lost loved ones in the Afghanistan conflict.  I like to watch war movies this time of year, at least war movies with a message.

Saving Private Ryan is a classic. The opening scene of Steven Spielberg’s classic finds us in an American military Cemetery in present-day Normandy, France. An older Ryan, accompanied by his family, searches for one particular grave — Captain John Miller. When he finds it he’s overcome with emotion and his memory sweeps back in time to D-Day, the Sixth of June 1944.

A discovery is made in the condolence section of army headquarters. Three brothers of the Ryan family have been killed almost at the same time. A fourth brother, James Francis Ryan, is somewhere in Normandy with the 101st Airborne Division. The Chief of Staff of the Army, General George Marshall, orders him found and “get him the hell out of there.”

Captain Miller and a small patrol of his Rangers are ordered inland from the beach to find Ryan. At last, after taking much hardship through enemy lines, they find  Ryan. But in the village, where remnants of the 101st are defending the bridge, Ryan refuses to abandon his duty and his buddies. Reluctantly, Miller decides to stay and join in the defense. The prospects are bleak. Nevertheless, Miller organizes the men and plans the defense.

The Germans show up with two Tiger tanks, several armored vehicles and infantry. The fight for the town is vicious. The Americans fall, one by one. Miller won’t give in, even as the German tank approaches the bridge. But the tank is blown up at the last minute by a P-51 just as American reinforcements arrive. Miller, at the end, gives Ryan a life mission to take home with him: “Earn this.”

Ultimately, Spielberg’s message is not hard to get across: war is brutal. But this film is not simply about the horrors of war, it is a story of men and sacrifices. While all eight men lost their lives in the mission to find Private Ryan, we have all been given a similar life challenge. Think of the men and women who have lost their lives, their limbs, and their mental well-being for us. Are we earning the life we are living? Are we living honorably? Do we remain grateful?