Tag Archive for: selfawareness

What are the stories that run your life?

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What are the stories that run your life?

After reading Dain Dunston’s thought-provoking book, Being Essential: Seven Questions for Living and Leading with Radical Self-Awareness, I was intrigued by the notion that our stories can unconsciously drive our lives. So we best be sure that we know what these narratives are and that they are true for the context we are currently living.

At four years old, I was incubated in an oxygen tent with a poliovirus infection. It created significant trauma, as I didn’t see my parents for weeks. In those days no visitors were allowed. I remember lying there alone crying myself to sleep, wondering if they would ever return.

After I went home, my arms and legs were very weak, so my father, a gymnast, coached me on the parallel bars and tumbling mat in our basement each day to help rebuild my strength.

And when I was bullied and teased at school, attributed, at least in part, to the residue of a weakened body, my dad would say, “Don’t pray for the world to get easier, pray for you to get stronger.”

The result of years of passionate dedication was a track scholarship at university. I credit my ability to overcome adversity through discipline and focused work to my father’s patient and persistent support and love. My commitment and the results that followed increased my confidence as I went on to build a successful speaking and consulting business.

However, in the process, I unconsciously created a story that my worth is dependent on what I can prove to the world I can overcome and achieve.

While the story served a vital purpose at the time, it eventually exceeded its function and led to unbridled ambition and eventual workaholism, tension, neglected relationships, a life out of balance, and burnout.

As I find my security from within, the narrative is now shifting from proving myself to expressing myself, from uncontrolled obsession to meaningful, focused contribution in my work.

The journey was enhanced by Dain’s insights. I recommend his book to those committed to living an authentic life with greater self-awareness.

 

Signs of burnout: How to recognize and evaluate what to keep doing and what to let go of.

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Signs of burnout: How to recognize and evaluate what to keep doing and what to let go of.

From personal experience, I know that burnout is real. It is not to be dismissed.

Here are some signs:

  1. Lack of enthusiasm and vitality
  2. Difficulty getting up in the morning and falling asleep at night.
  3. Speaking in a monotone.
  4. Feeling bored and listless.
  5. Feeling alienated from your family, co-workers, and friends
  6. Feeling hungry but lack an appetite.
  7. Becoming depressed (the line between burnout and depression is very thin).

If you notice some of these symptoms, here’s a suggested strategy to start a recovery path:

  1. Be honest with yourself. Most people cross the line into burnout at some point in their life.
  2. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with people who depend on you. Ask them what absolutely needs to stay on your plate and what you can let go of.
  3. Get clear and ask for the support you need.
  4. Take an Energy Inventory. Assess what activities, in the last week, gave you energy and which depleted you. Ask yourself if your tiredness is “bad” tired or “good” tired. Remember: Burnout is not about hard work; it’s about heartache.
  5. Delegate everything possible that you hate doing to someone who would love doing it.
  6. Accept that guilt is inevitable for conscientious, accountable people. Just don’t put guilt in the driver’s seat. Walk through with grace.

Psychological Safety: It Starts With Self-Awareness

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Your first and most important responsibility as a leader is to create a safe environment where people can bring their whole self to their work. So how do you know if people feel safe? How do you know whether people fully trust you? How do you know if people are secretly looking for a job somewhere else because of their relationship with you?

It starts with self-awareness. You simply don’t know what you don’t know. This is one of the driving forces behind the SAGE Forums. We want to help you become self-aware in a small community of like-minded, diverse individuals who will help reveal your blind spots, help hold you accountable for making the necessary changes, and give you the needed support to stay on track.

We’d love to have you be a part of our community. Remember: You aren’t alone. For information our SAGE Forums, check out our website: https://davidirvine.com/sage-forums/