You don’t have to be a people person to be a leader

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For years I have taught the principle, “fit people, don’t fix people.” I’m not about changing people. I’m about aligning people in a position that supports their strengths so it’s a win-win for everyone.

I’ve met many senior executives who do a great job building and running a company, but aren’t good at connecting with people. Not every great leader is a people person. We can’t possibly be great at everything. I can be good with people but suck at running a large company.

Many excellent CEOs aren’t interested in attending my Authentic Leadership Academies, but they have a sincere respect for the importance of people, and will support those who want to develop their skills in this area.

So… you don’t have to be a people person to be a positional leader. But what you do need is self-awareness. You have to know your strengths and limitations, and be able to find the right people to fill the gaps. You have to know that if your greatest strength isn’t necessarily connecting to people, that you will find and support the people who can and will lead the way in this area.

What’s imperative is that to hold a position of leadership requires that you care about people and care enough to make people a foundational priority in your organization.

If this topic interests you, and you’re committed to learning more about the power of connection, join me in our upcoming complimentary webinar on April 19: https://lnkd.in/d37Prt4a

S-l-o-w D-o-w-n to Find the Rhythm of Life

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Work today can be hectic and intense, with tight deadlines, meetings, and notifications coming at you from every angle. With all that noise it’s hard to focus and get things done—especially when you’re also dealing with stress about your workload.

Over the past few years, researchers have offered different explanations for the rise of anxiety and stress, but three things we know for sure: change is happening quickly, access to information continues to increase, and the development of our brains has not caught up to the bombardment of information coming at us. I’m from a generation where when a newsworthy event occurred, we had until the evening news or the next morning’s paper to hear about it. That is just one example of having a little space in my day.

It’s all instantaneous now. And, while news feeds blast our brains 24/7, we have constant information coming at us. Until about ten to fifteen years ago, it was unavoidable that numerous times throughout your day it was just you alone with your thoughts…while in line at the checkout, waiting for the elevator, walking the dog, commuting to work, at the gym. Now we inundate our minds with unending data, spending up to a half of our waking lives looking down at our cell phones.

Having lost the natural rhythm and cadence of life and connection to ourselves to the tyranny of information bombarding us, it’s no wonder we’re overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed in a way we never have been before.

If you feel compelled to reconnect with your own rhythm of life, to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n and recharge your internal batteries, to refresh your perspective on leadership and life, and to be a part of an authentic community who are committed to support each other to stay on track and contribute to what is good, inspiring, and what matters to us, join us in our upcoming Authentic Leadership Academy. https://lnkd.in/gMi2euzp

In this three-day life-changing experience, you will leave with the clarity of knowing what matters and the permission to stop trying to do it all, to reset your internal compass and rediscover how you can make your highest contribution toward the things that truly matter.

The Missing Link Of Authenticity

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Carl Rogers, a founder of humanistic psychology, focused much of his work on the problem of authority. Rigid power hierarchies had led to oppression in many spheres of life and he pioneered a movement that liberated individuals from these authority structures. People are naturally good, he believed, and can be trusted to do their own self-actualization.

David Brooks, in his insightful article, “How America Got Mean,” (The Atlantic, September 2023), stated that “a cluster of phenomenally successful books appeared in the decade after World War II, making the case that, as Rabbi Joshua Loth Liebman wrote in Peace of Mind (1946), ‘thou shalt not be afraid of thy hidden impulses. People can trust the goodness inside.’ His book topped the New York Times best-seller list for 58 weeks. Dr. Spock’s first child-rearing manual was published the same year. That was followed by books like The Power of Positive Thinking (1952).

According to this ethos, morality is not something that we develop in communities. It’s nurtured by connecting with our authentic self and finding our true inner voice. If people are naturally good, we don’t need moral formation; we just need to let people get in touch with themselves.”

While these pioneers led the way to the opening of authenticity, there’s a missing link – a perspective that many still do not understand. I remember sitting on an airplane talking to an executive about authenticity when not long after our conversation he started flirting with the flight attendant. When she went to get his drink he turned to me and said that he likes to challenge himself to see if he can get the flight attendant into his hotel room. “It’s my authentic self,” he said with a wink.

While the early pioneers in the personal development field broke down many patriarchal, rigid, and dehumanizing authority structures and gave birth to new freedom, we know now, with our current consciousness, that they could only take us so far. We do, in fact, need to be concerned about some of those hidden impulses. Just because you have a desire doesn’t necessarily mean it’s authentic. To get to your true authentic self beneath your impulses and cravings, you need a community. And your inner child needs some good old-fashioned discipline.

To learn more about the journey to authenticity, I hope you’ll join me in one of my upcoming complimentary Authentic Leadership Academy Mini-Series: https://lnkd.in/g4M9qpWh

Trauma And Its Impact on Leadership

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One does not have to be a military veteran or live in a war zone to encounter trauma. Trauma happens to us, our friends, colleagues, families, and neighbours. Research suggests that up to thirty percent of women (and twenty percent of men) in this country have been sexually abused. Twenty-five percent have been beaten by a parent severe enough to leave a mark. Thirty percent of couples engage in physical violence. A quarter of us grew up with alcoholic relatives, and ten percent have witnessed their mother being beaten or hit. Many researchers feel these statistics are conservative, and they don’t even account for the unmeasured and unpredictable rage and verbal abuse many grew up with.

Human beings are a resilient species, but it’s naïve to think that such events in our upbringing don’t impact the way we relate to people in our homes, communities, and workplaces. Trauma leaves traces on our minds and bodies. It impacts the way we think, the way we feel, the way we interact with those around us, and the way we live.

When you move into a position of leadership, you don’t acquire more power. What you get is more accountability. Considering the trauma that many have experienced, here are five accountabilities of a positional leader in relation to trauma, stress, and psychological safety in the workplace:

  1. Learn why creating a psychologically safe work environment is critical to a successful work environment and why being at peace with yourself is the foundation of all good leadership.
  2. Become familiar with your own inner state and aware of how your moods impact others. Learn to know the difference between when you’re stressed and when you are relaxed.
  3. Recognize how any trauma in your life may have impacted your past or current actions and identify a plan for healing and working with this trauma.
  4. Get regular feedback from trusted colleagues and friends on how your actions may be inadvertently creating unnecessary tension in your leadership. We all have blind spots and need to take an inventory of these on a continual basis.
  5. Be open to keep learning about psychological safety and ways to ensure a safe, caring, and accountable workplace under your leadership.

Twelve Indicators Of Authenticity

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For seven decades, leadership scholars have conducted thousands of studies to determine the traits of great leaders. Thankfully, none have constructed a clear profile of an ideal leader. There’s no single leadership style or approach to leadership you can imitate to become a great leader. We can certainly learn from others, but we all have to find our unique authentic self.

Being an authentic leader comes from being more fully who you are. It’s that simple and it’s that complex.

Here are twelve indicators of being authentic:

  1. A sense of purpose. Authentic people have a sense of purpose that gives them a reason to get up in the morning and keep walking through the hard times.
  2. They resist conformity. Authentic people don’t need others to validate their worth. They can express their opinions openly when needed. Not to be compliant or defiant, but simply to be honest.
  3. Deep-seated curiosity. Authentic people are life-long learners and actively pursue feedback from others.
  4. The courage to be vulnerable. They have a close community where they share their struggles, fears, values, self-doubts, dreams, uncertainties, grief, and deepest joy – so they are comfortable bringing the full spectrum of their humanity to the world.
  5. They care about others. They are present and engaged, taking time to listen, tune in, and sincerely value others.
  6. They own their mistakes. Authentic people take responsibility for their actions, including their mistakes. and can admit when they are wrong.
  7. Humility. They know they are never the smartest person in the room and shine the light on others.
  8. They know their values, set good boundaries, and can say no.
  9. They work for the greater good. They are committed to service over self-interest.
  10. They respect others. Authentic people value of diversity, and are not threatened by, but welcome and celebrate differences. They seek to understand as many alternative work views as deeply as they can.
  11. They are accountable. They show up. You can count on authentic people.
  12. Authentic people are self-accepting. They know they can’t always exhibit some of these traits and somehow find a way to be okay with their imperfect humanity.

Tag a leader in your life that demonstrates these traits.

Why A Values-Based Approach To Leadership Is Critical for Engagement

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When you hold a kite’s string, you are the anchor that allows it to soar high in the sky. Letting go of that string does not make the kite soar to greater heights. In fact, releasing your grip causes the kite to crash to the ground.

Similarly, sustained principles act as an anchor for your leadership. Individuals who hold on to their principles reach their highest potential.

Many organizations have fancy value statements, but if you don’t have a clear path to get the values into the lives of every person in the organization, then these statements are empty resolutions.

There is a huge difference between values statements and real values.

Join David this Friday (February 23) as he shares his experience, research, and perspective on what it truly means to be value-based in your life and leadership – and the power that will come from it.

  1. Learn how being people-centered breeds entitlement.
  2. Discover how values-based leadership starts with value-based living.
  3. Leave with practical insights for engaging your teams by being values-based.

To register go to: https://lnkd.in/d37Prt4a

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