Five Ways to Make Others Feel Valued – THE BIG VALUE OF SMALL

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According to the Greek storyteller Aesop, a little mouse ran up and down a sleeping lion who awoke, grabbed the poor helpless rodent and opened his big jaws to swallow him.

“Pardon, O King,” cried the little mouse, “Please forgive me. I promise never to climb on you again. And if you let me go, who knows what I may be able to do for you some day.”

The lion was so intrigued by the idea of a mouse being able to help him that he lifted up his paw and let the critter go. Some time later, the lion was caught in a trap, and the hunters tied him to a tree while they went in search of a wagon to transport him to the king. Just then the little Mouse happened to pass by, and seeing the lion’s sad plight, quickly jumped at the opportunity to help him. He gnawed away the ropes, setting the lion free.

We live in a society that values big. Big profits. Big paycheques. Big companies. Big titles. Big fame. Big offices. In this world of big it’s easy to get the crazy idea that you aren’t valuable if you are small, or perceive yourself to be small. But Aesop’s little tale of the lion and the mouse teaches a wise lesson. The tiny mouse is every bit as valuable as the lion. According to Aesop, importance is not based on size, but rather on the value you bring to others. It’s a simple matter of changing the context. The person who brings the most value is the most valuable.

One of my clients is a manager of employees who run the fitness centers, indoor tracks, pools, courts, and arenas at a university. They drive the Zambonis, keep the pools clean and look after students when they come to work out or play in the facilities. And, in an institution where the academic mandate is the highest priority, these employees don’t feel valued.

Who’s to say that those who provide for the health of a student and the health of the community in which that student lives are any less valuable than the professors who hand out the grades and grant the degrees? Without a healthy, well-rounded student, the degree doesn’t mean much. And without a great student experience, they are going to find other universities. Everyone is unique, and everyone has value. Everyone makes a contribution. And each person’s unique contribution is vitally important.

Value isn’t measured by the size of your office, the size of your paycheque, or the size of your business. Value is measured by your contribution to others. How do you make people around you feel valued? Here are five simple strategies.

  1. Believe in yourself.In order to believe in others, you have to believe in yourself. Henry Ford once said, “Whether you believe you can or you believe you can’t, you are right.” Everyone is talented, unique, and has something to offer. If you don’t believe that applies to you, then start hanging around people that do believe it and soon it will start sinking in.
  2. Get moving. Don’t wait to be appreciated or valued. My dad used to tell me that waiting is not a very good strategy. Instead of waiting, bring to others whatever you expect from others. Instead of waiting to be seen as being valuable, bring more value, every day, to the people in your life. If you want to be appreciated, get so busy appreciating others that you don’t have time to feel sorry for yourself.
  3. Stop to recognize beauty. Don’t take people for granted – especially your best people. We’re all busy. Like beauty, you don’t see the value others bring when you’re in a hurry. Slow down. The best way to recognize value is to stop and listen to what people have to say. Listen for their opinions. Listen for their input. Listen for their wisdom. Stop every so often to recognize the beauty and the value in the people around you. Express appreciation. You never know when you may be in need of their unique talents.
  4. Create space. Just as you have to recognize the value of others, you also have to pay attention to people or projects that aren’t adding value to your life or your business. When people or projects are sucking the energy out of you or your organization, it might be time to let go and move on.
  5. Choose quality over quantity. Don’t strive to be the biggest. Instead, strive to be the best. Don’t confuse the concept of doing big things with doing greatthings. It’s not about making the news; it’s about making a difference. Bigger is not the objective. Bigger is a side effect when you are committed to bring value instead of size to whatever you do.

When it comes to bringing value to others, the little things are the big things.

How To Transform Suffering Into Service – Leadership In Action

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“Only when we learn to be humble about ourselves, can we begin to respect others.”                                                                           – Lindsay Leigh Kimmett

A sign of great leadership is the ability to transform the inevitable losses of the human experience into something beyond the loss. While certainly not seeking pain, a person of character does find a special attractiveness in difficulty, since it is only by coming to grips with difficulty that they can realize their potential. Below is a story of courage and compassion, along with strategies to turn grief into creative endeavors that serve the greater good

Lindsay Leigh Kimmett was an athlete, a leader, and a medical student with enormous potential to do great things in the world. But her life ended when, as a seat-belted passenger, she was tragically killed in a single car rollover in 2008. Lindsay’s parents were consumed with unimaginable sorrow at her untimely passing, “but in an attempt to move forward positively,” they were determined to carry on her legacy. Lindsay’s family and friends created the Lindsay Leigh Kimmett Memorial Foundation in honor of her memory. To date, more than a million dollars has been invested into our community in Lindsay’s name through an array of initiatives, including Valedictorian Scholarships at all the three Cochrane high schools, the Dr. Lindsay Leigh Kimmett Prize in Emergency Medicine at the University of Calgary Medical School, and Lindsay’s Kids Minor Hockey & Ringette Sponsorships. Since her death, Lindsay’s family has also been very active in supporting Alberta’s distracted driving legislation and asks all to drive responsibly without distractions.

Great leaders have the willingness and capacity to turn sorrow and hardship into a gift that benefits others. Those who experience grief and have the courage to work with it and work through it, emerge a better person, enabling leadership qualities like perspective, patience, clarity, and empathy. Through learning to grieve in a healthy way, you open yourself to the capacity required to live in harmony and balance with one another and the earth.

Here are six ways to transform loss into a gift that benefits others:

  • Make room to grieve. Let life touch you. Stop and allow grief to surface when it is present. Go to funerals. Allow yourself to cry. If you can, be with your pet when they die. Spend time with a dying relative or friend. Community can be built in tragedy. Don’t be afraid to grieve and share your grief with people you care about and who care about you. Allowing yourself to grieve enables you to accept loss as a part of the good life. Grieving is a lonely journey and should not be traveled alone. You may never “get over it,” but you can work through it – by acknowledging honestly what is happening inside you, and allowing your heart to open, both with yourself and with others.
  • Accept what is. “Impermanence,” writes the poet Jennifer Welwood, “is life’s only promise to us, and she keeps it with ruthless impeccability.” Maturity means having the courage to face life as it is. Life, at some level, is a series of problems to solve. Do we want to spend our life moaning and whimpering about this, or spend our days living in the solution? At some point in our lives we have to be willing to grow up and realize that yes, life hurts. It’s hard. It’s all part of the human experience. The sooner we can accept that life is difficult, the sooner life becomes a little less difficult. Life happens. Pain is a part of our existence. At some point we have to build a bridge and get over it.
  • Let go of the anger. Anger is often born out of suffering, especially when someone or something has caused your loss. While it is part of the process of grief, unacknowledged anger or anger that festers inside, turns into the bitter poison of resentment. The antidote to anger? Name it. Claim it. Take responsibility for your reactions. Then have the courage to let it go. An indication of strong character is the courage to bear an injustice without a motive of revenge.
  • Be willing to not know. Sometimes the best you can do is accept what is. Although it is human nature to seek control through answers, sometimes the answers simply aren’t there. Often you have to delete your need to understand. A sign of maturity is the courage to accept the vast and inevitable unknown of the human experience, and the willingness to let go of the need for complete comprehension.
  • Let grief be your teacher. In the arduous journey of grief, if you pause every so often to open your heart and look within yourself, you will discover that the grief is guiding you to be a better person. While you may not be able to find your gifts in the immediacy of tragedy, keep an open mind to what life’s adversities can eventually teach you. Loss and subsequent grieving can foster, among other things, the ability to be compassionate, to connect more meaningfully with others, and to gain perspective and clarity about what matters most.
  • Turn sorrow into service. In an effort to move forward constructively, find ways for your loss to fill a need in the world. While establishing a foundation was the Kimmitt’s way to transform grief into positive action, there are many ways you can make the world better through your loss. Being open to what grieving can teach you will amplify your ability to impact others through a stronger leadership presence.

I have deep admiration for what the Kimmett family has done for our community and more in light of their tragic loss. Their willingness to turn sorrow into service is authentic leadership in action. May their story inspire you to embrace the inevitable and at times seemingly unjust and often unanswerable tragedies of life as you stumble forward – with courage, conviction, and compassion – on the journey to being a better person and a better leader.

FIVE WAYS TO STAY ALIVE AS A LEADER

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Leadership is not only hard work; leadership can be dangerous. Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, John F Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr. are prime examples. Political leaders, however, are not the only leaders that get assassinated. When you courageously take a stand for something or when you dedicate yourself to making a difference, you become a lightening rod that attracts both positive and negative power by your mere presence. While a uniform or a title does not make you a leader, those in uniforms today are targets, as are leaders who are making a difference. I’ve learned from my work with the RCMP and other police agencies that in policing, officers use the words service, dedication and commitment to describe what they do on a daily basis to keep us safe. These words also describe a leader. And when we make a decision to lead, there is a risk involved. That risk cost the lives of Cpl. Nathan Cirillo who was shot while guarding the tomb of the unknown soldier in Ottawa and RCMP Constable David Wynn, who was senselessly gunned down in a St. Albert, Alberta casino while serving and protecting the citizens of his community.

People who make the decision to lead frequently bear scars from the efforts to bring about change. Leaders are always perceived as failing somebody. Often they are misunderstood. At times they must be willing to bear violent opposition. Many times they are despised. Just ask the parents of a rebellious teenager, or a senior executive committed to changing a culture, or a front-line leader who is loyal to a principle that goes against the grain of how things have always been done in an organization.

While leading can be dangerous, every leader must have a strategy for staying alive, for sustaining their energy, and for continued self-renewal. Following the slaying of Const. David Wynn, RCMP members were reminded to take care of themselves, to be especially mindful of their actions, and extra supportive of their colleagues. What is the directive you have given yourself for staying alive? What are your disciplined actions for ensuring your strength as a leader, so that leading comes from overflow, not emptiness?

Here are five fundamental strategies and sources of strength for staying alive:

  1. Sanctuaries: Leadership is both active and reflective. A sanctuary is where you find refuge from the demands of the world. It can be a physical place, a special person, or a space you create in your mind. All of these sanctuaries enable you to renew and listen to your inner wisdom and strength. Regardless of how you define or experience sanctuary, we all need a place where we can find peace.
  2. Faith: Faith is an important source of strength to myself and to many leaders I respect. We all need to find strength beyond ourselves to help us lead, maintain perspective, find inner wellbeing beyond the approval and disapproval of the world, and help carry the load of life.
  3. Sabbaths: The tradition of sabbath began centuries ago to create an oasis of sacred time within a life of labor. In the midst of relentless demands, sabbath is a ‘boundaried time’ (whether 24 hours or 10 minutes) away from the tyranny of the urgency of others to spend in renewal, restoration, rest, and recovery. I find it valuable to take at least one full day every week to shut off my computer and email, spend time in nature and with people I care about, and simply to rest.
  4. Confidants: Confidants are those with whom you share your deepest self. They hold you while you are holding everyone else. They put you back together at the end of the day. Confidants can be friends, spouses, lovers, coaches, or close colleagues. Confidents give perspective, stand beside you, and help hold you accountable. A confidant is not afraid to tell you the truth, will not allow you to stay a victim, and will challenge you to be all you can be. Leadership is a lonely journey, but it can’t be done alone.
  5. Inspiration: The true measure of a person comes when tragedy strikes and extraordinary things need to be done. Mr. Rogers used to say that in times of tragedy, look for the helpers, those who move in to support and help clean up the mess. Watch who the helpers are and what the helpers do, and hope will be born.

We all need a source of inspiration in order to inspire those we serve. Hope inspires me. Service, dedication, caring and commitment inspire me. Good conversations inspire me. Stories inspire me. Artists, poets, and musicians all inspire me. What inspires you? Who or what uplifts you? Stay plugged in to the source that supports and sustains you – so you can inspire others.

LEADERSHIP, LIGHT, AND NELSON MANDELA

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“It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.”      – The Christophers

When Nelson Mandela died a few years ago, many leaders around the globe commented that, “a great light has gone out of the world.” Mandela was called a “guiding light in a world rife in darkness” who transformed his country and inspired so many people around the globe.

Nelson Mandela taught us that what leaders do is bring light to the world. Leaders inspire others, not through their position, but through the brightness of their presence. During the dark times of our lives we are reminded to have the clarity and the courage to bring light to those we love and serve. Lighting the world of darkness is a vital aspect of leadership.

As a leader, how can you bring ‘enlightenment’ to the world? How can your presence impact and inspire others more fully? Below is some of what I learned from studying the life of Nelson Mandela, the remarkable leader who inspired the world by being who he was.

  1. Embrace Adversity. Great leaders, leaders with strong character, find a special attractiveness in difficulty since it is only by coming to grips with adversity that you can realize your potential. Leaders who are open to learn, especially in the midst of adversity, are inspiring. Nelson Mandela had many teachers in his life, but the greatest of them all was the dark years of Robben Island. “Prison,” he once said, “taught me self-control, discipline, and focus – the things I consider to be essential to leadership – and it taught me how to be a full human being.” Rather than destroying him, prison matured him, made him a better person, and molded him into the leader he became.
  2. Courage. Courage inspires. But Nelson Mandala taught, through his actions and his life, that courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is facing fear and learning to overcome it.
  3. Integrity. We admired Nelson Mandela, in no small part, because of his integrity – the integrated way he led his life. His leadership, and others who emulate this quality of moral authority, inspires others through self-leadership. Self-leadership involves introspective journeys. This inward journey is not always easy. Consider the admission attributed to Mandela: “My greatest enemy was not those who put or kept me in prison. It was myself. I was afraid to be who I am.”
  4. Forgiveness. After twenty-seven years of being unjustly imprisoned, resentment and bitterness would surely be an understandable response. But instead, Nelson Mandela took the courageous road of forgiveness. It is easy to forgive someone for something done inadvertently, but how do you let go of the past when an enemy has intentionally done you serious harm? Mandela found a way, and in that way, he earned both respect and credibility by choosing reconciliation over retribution.
  5. Service. You cannot lead others if you can’t lead yourself. But you also can’t lead others if you use power chiefly to serve yourself and your ego. Leadership is not about you. It’s about those you love and serve: your family, your community, your colleagues, your customers, your country. Great leaders see beyond themselves. They are compelled to transcend themselves and serve a purpose greater than self-interest.
  6. Civility. Not enough can be said for the simple, yet powerful effect of consideration and respect for ourselves and others. Leaders have an opportunity – and responsibility – to bring civility to their life and work through simple acts of kindness: a smile of support, a word of encouragement, or a sincere expression of gratitude. Civility can be practiced anywhere at any time: to a colleague, a family member, or a store clerk. Civility, including good manners, calmness in the midst of madness, and poise under pressure, is a common-sense leadership approach that is not so common these days.
  7. Renewal. The early years of prison for Nelson Mandela were bleak and trying. The wardens were abusive. The work was back-breaking. The prisoners were permitted only one visitor and one letter every six months. During this time, his oldest son was killed in a car crash. Winnie was in danger. The ANC was in exile. And the apartheid government had consolidated its power. What did Nelson Mandela do to find solace amid all the strife? He planted and cared for a garden. According to Richard Stengel, the author who helped write Mandela’s autobiography, “Nelson’s life was in service to others, and the garden was a respite from the turmoil and storms of the world. In that way, it helped him do his main work. It was not a place of retreat but of renewal.” In the arduous work of leadership, we all need something away from the world that gives us satisfaction and sanctuary, a place apart. “Each of us,” said Mandela, “must find our own garden.” Bringing a light to the world means recharging our minds, refueling our health, and replenishing and renewing our spirits – in the midst of the pressures and demands of the world.

May we each set aside time to reflect upon own unique, authentic ways to rekindle our own inner light and bring that light more brightly to the world that we lead and influence. The world needs, and wants, our gifts.

Seven Ways To Counteract the Gravitational Pull of Mediocrity

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When returning to the office after a holiday or simply getting up in the morning to greet a new day, take a moment to ask if you are inspired or expired? Do you look forward to your life and your work, or do you dread getting out of bed? We all know people who are expired: past their shelf life in a job and resigned to “doing time”; who “quit and stayed.”

Gravity is the downward pull that enables life to exist on this planet. But if you don’t develop habits that counter the pull of gravity at the physical level, you eventually experience its long-term effects on your body, such as hunched shoulders, compression in your back, joints and internal organs, and tired, sagging muscles.

A pull similar to gravity in the cultures we live in is the pull of mediocrity. Mass consciousness is toward what is easy, and if you don’t have a strategy to counter the pull of mediocrity, you will one day find yourself psychologically – and likely physically – hunched over, rigid, tense, sagging, and expired – unable to experience the fullness of your potential.

Here are seven ways to counter the effects of the pull toward mediocrity and help you discover a source of inspiration.

  • Take 100% responsibility for your inspiration. Take a look in the mirror and search for the sources of your own inspiration. We are not going to be inspired everyday, but don’t blame others because you aren’t feeling on top of the world. Maybe you need a simple shift in attitude, a little more rest, or a new set of friends. Perhaps it’s a simple decision to change your attitude. Regardless, it’s your life. Take responsibility for it.
  • Have a vision. The pull to the future is a source of inspiration, whether it’s a list of inspiring goals, a compelling vision, or a dream. Years ago what inspired me to get up at 5:00 AM and run 10 miles in freezing temperatures was a dream to qualify for the Canadian Olympic team. While I didn’t make the Olympics, what I did make were the seeds of good discipline and strong character. Whether you are nine or ninety-five, it’s never too late for dreams that can lift you out of the pull of mediocrity.
  • Live a life of service. Nothing gets you out of self-pity more than making life better for someone else. One sure way to guarantee an uninspired life is the path of self-centeredness. Get out of yourself and adopt an attitude of gratitude. “We are, each of us, a miracle. Within every one of us, the pilot light of hope never dies,” wrote Og Mandino. A sure way to ignite that inner flame is to choose service over self-interest. Concentrating on inspiring others rather than waiting to be inspired, can itself be inspiring.
  • Track your energy level. Be aware of the activities or relationships that energize you and those that consume your energy. Pay attention to the people you spend time with, the food you eat, the music you listen to, the television programs you watch, the work you do, and what you do in the time away from work. Ask yourself what gives you energy and what depletes you. What activities in your life and work fuel that inner flame? Take an ‘energy inventory.’ What do you need to take out of your life? What do you need to bring into your life? Start making choices that increase your energy.
  • Know what inspires you. We all need a well-spring of inspiration from the world around us. An unexpected teacher, a new experience, a great leader, a word of encouragement, a good book, a story or a poem, can all be a source of inspiration. Overcoming a challenge or embarking on a new and unfamiliar adventure can be inspiring. A spiritual practice such as meditation, yoga, or prayer that quiets you and taps into the light within you are also sources for inspiration. Even spending a little time each day improving your attitude can be inspiring. Stay plugged in to the source that supports and sustains you. What inspires you: poetry, song, novels, dance, story, visual arts, film, theatre, time in nature? Who uplifts you? Expose yourself to those guides, writers, poets, artists, musicians, songwriters, environments, actors, teachers, friends, colleagues – anyone or anything that awakens you.
  • Find Inspiring People To Be Around, “In everybody’s life at some time, our inner fire goes out,’ wrote Albert Schweitzer. “It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” Who inspires you? Find a book club. Start an Ideas Group, where people take turns sharing good ideas. We have had an Ideas Group in Cochrane, Alberta for the past 16+ years. Or simply develop a good friendship with a person who knows how to bring the best out of you.
  • Be present to life. At some point in your life you will be standing alone, when there is nothing or no one to inspire you. In these moments it is important to remember that your greatest source of inspiration will always be within you. The best way to access this is to be still, even while you are busy, and be present in the present moment. Whether its stopping to realize the beauty of a sunset, the magnificence of a flower, the wonder of a child, or the peace that comes from supporting a friend or colleague, if you are mindful you will discover that life itself is one continuous moment of inspiration after another. Instead of the future or the past, inspiration is your experience of being alive, right now.

The Yoga Sutras Of Patanjali says, “When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world.”

OPTIMAL HEALTH Maximizing Organizational Capacity Through A Well Functioning Aerobic System

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As a former competitive distance runner, I learned that there is a difference between health and fitness. Health is when all the systems in your body are functioning optimally, especially the aerobic system (your bodies capacity to use oxygen). Indicators of health are energy, endurance, and calmness. Fitness, on the other hand, is the ability to perform a particular athletic activity. Fitness is about speed and strength: a well-functioning anaerobic system.

Many times during my running career, in an effort to get fit, I compromised my health. My ambition was stronger than my capacity. Injuries, low energy, and a decreased immune system were some of the outcomes of this imbalance. As I matured as an athlete, I discovered that in order for the body to work effectively, health and fitness must both be present and in balance.

Unhealthy people fall mostly into two categories: those who are inactive and over-rested, and those who are over-trained and under-rested. Studies are now showing that both inactive people and over-trained athletes exhibit essentially the same symptoms:

  • Low energy
  • Chronic fatigue
  • A depressed immune system
  • Circulatory problems
  • Susceptibility to injuries
  • Hormonal and insulin imbalance

The only difference between the two groups is that inactive people tend to have an excess storage of fat, while over-trained athletes have an insufficient storage of fat.

I use this metaphor when helping leaders improve organizational effectiveness and achieve regenerative success. To succeed long-term, both health and fitness are necessary in organizations and in life. It can be said that leadership represents health, while management represents fitness. Thus, different indicators measure an organization’s fitness and it’s health:

Organizational Fitness                        Organizational Health

Strategy                                                          High Trust

Expediency                                                    Flexibility

Marketing                                                      High Energy

Performance                                                 Endurance

Operational Excellence                              High Morale

Profits                                                             Employee Engagement

Technology                                                    Low Turnover

Organizations focus on the fitness side of the equation when ambition exceeds capacity. Fitness is also easier to measure than health. Managers are reluctant to examine health because it’s hard to quantify and it can point to failings of leadership. An over-emphasis on organizational fitness and an under-emphasis on organizational health will result in imbalance. Indicators of organizational imbalance and ill-health include: exhaustion, disengagement, high turnover (or worse, people “quit and stay”), distrust, an over-reliance on employee engagement surveys and an under-reliance on conversations, lack of focus, inflexibility, and unclear priorities.

To gain some balance and improve your organization’s health try some of the following strategies:

  • Spend less time in front of your computer and more time in front of people.
  • Narrow your priorities. Bring more focus into your work.
  • Start talking about your espoused values, and, more importantly, how you can live them – in concrete behaviorial terms.
  • Whenever you take on more work, ensure you have the resources and the capacity to get it done.
  • Start taking people for coffee, and stop taking them for granted.
  • Catch people doing things right. Shine a light on success.
  • Talk with people, not to Listen more; talk less.
  • Tell more stories, especially when they focus on success.
  • Appreciate good people and good actions. Recognize. Acknowledge. Cherish.
  • Replace entitlement with gratitude.
  • Decide that all blame is a waste of time.
  • Bring a servant mind-set to everything you do.
  • Get more rest.