Boundaries vs. Comfort Zones

/in , , /by

We need to respect boundaries and stretch comfort zones… how to tell the difference.

Boundaries and comfort zones are crucial for personal growth and well-being. They are intended to protect you, but in different ways. Boundaries protect in a way that enables you to grow while comfort zones protect you in ways that disable growth.

Boundaries include: refusing to tolerate disrespectful or abusive behavior, setting limits on work hours, or declining to discuss certain topics with certain people.

Comfort zones allow you to hide behind the familiar when you don’t have the courage or ability to set boundaries. Tolerating disrespectful or abusive behavior, people pleasing, staying in a comfortable, secure job instead of following your heart, or not saying no can become so familiar that you won’t risk stepping out of your comfort zone. Yet taking the risk to do what’s uncomfortable is where growth lies.

How to respect boundaries while stretching your comfort zone:

  1. Identify personal limits and non-negotiable boundaries.
  2. Set clear goals for personal growth that inspire you to step out of your comfort zone.
  3. Take calculated risks that challenge you while sustaining clear boundaries.
  4. Reflect on experiences that distinguish between the helpful discomfort of boundaries and the harmful comfort of hiding in your comfort zone.

Remember, growth occurs when you voluntarily step out of your comfort zone while maintaining firm boundaries along the way.

The holidays are meant to be a time to relax, s-l-o-w d-o-w-n and reconnect with our internal rhythm.

/in , , , /by

There’s no “right” way to get through the holidays. The authentic way is to attend to what’s in your heart and design, as best as you can, a holiday that is right for you and your loved ones.

This week, my wife’s dear aunt passed away peacefully at the age of 98, after a good and meaningful life. Also this week, a close friend was diagnosed with a brain tumor and spent his sixty third birthday in surgery. And another friend shared his story with me this week of losing his son to suicide. Sometimes Christmas is not the happiest time of the year.

This year’s holiday I will keep up my mental and physical health routines, spend time outdoors, connect with the most important people in my life, and make room for a gamut of emotions, including grief, gratitude, and joy. Above all, I will strive to keep it simple.

What’s in your heart in this holiday season?

Unmasking Your Life

/in , , , /by

During the holiday season, family gatherings can bring a mix of joy and tension such as when Susan found herself preparing for another holiday with her family. For years, she wore a mask of perfection—the jovial daughter, the dutiful sister, and the calm intermediary in family conflicts. But inside, she felt overwhelmed beneath the festive façade.

As her family jovially gathered around the table, her brother’s sarcasm and jabs about her career choices began, she felt the familiar urge to retreat behind her mask. But this year was different; she had been working on embracing her authentic self. It was time to start getting real.

We all wear masks at times in our life and in our leadership. Masks can be both a blessing and a curse.

If learning about masks interests you, I hope you will join me in my complimentary webinar this Friday: https://davidirvine.com/complimentary-webinars

How do you want your team to feel on Sunday night about coming to work on Monday morning?

/in , , , /by

The other day, I asked someone how their weekend was.
“Too short” was the reply.

How we feel about our job on the night before the week starts has a lot to do with how we feel about the people we work with and work for.

Are you dreading coming to work Monday morning? Are you excited about having the weekend over?
Ask people how they feel about coming to work before they start their work week. Was their weekend too short? A “yes” answer is a good question to get curious about.

Creating a remarkable experience for your customers starts with your team having a remarkable experience at work. What are you doing to help create that?

I had an incredible experience working with leaders of The Good Samaritan Society this week.

/in , , , , , /by

With over 75 years of experience providing specialized health and community care services, you are truly remarkable caring and authentic leaders. You know how to create spaces where you know you belong and can call home.

Thank you for valuing my message and for the honourable and noble work you do.

Monopoly Is Life

/in , , , /by

I loved playing monopoly with my kids. I was a pretty good father, but not when I played monopoly. I was brutally competitive. In fact, I needed to win so badly I tricked my kids when we played. I convinced them not to buy Boardwalk and the higher end properties when they landed on them because they were too expensive. You stoop pretty low to feel proud about beating a seven-year-old by cheating.

But then I realized something. After the game is over, all the properties, the hotels, the houses, the pieces and all your “accomplishments” all go back in the box. You don’t take any of it with you. All you have left is how you played the game, the memories, and the impact you had on the people you played with.

Monopoly is life.