Tag Archive for: AuthenticLeadership

Three strategies for responding to bullying.

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From my research and observation of people over the past four decades, I have come to believe all behavior has positive intent. This means any behavior we might label as destructive, has, from another viewpoint, a beneficial purpose. For example, from the perspective of a bully, intimidating or harassing others can be a way of attempting to show competence (even though it’s not very skillful). It may be a coping strategy after themselves being bullied. Abusive behavior can be a way of managing anxiety or insecurity. It’s an unconscious way of making yourself big when you actually feel small.

This doesn’t justify bullying. It simply brings some understanding and empathy to the experience.

With this awareness, here are three strategies for responding to bullying:

  1. Clarity. Clearly understand how intimidation, harassment, and bullying are a violation of the values and expectations of your organization. Start by clarifying and communicating exactly what disrespectful behavior is, in terms of organizational and leadership expectations. Clarity means understanding precisely the difference between leading and intimidating.
  2. Courage. You have to let people know that certain behavior violates the expectations of the organization, and therefore is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. You simply can’t work here if you’re going to behave in a disrespectful way. If you don’t get support with this from your organization, then you have to consider if this is a place where you want to work.
  3. Compassion. Respecting the intent behind bullying can create an opportunity to grow, to move toward a plan for change. This plan may involve coaching and learning strategies such as developing greater emotional intelligence, skills for managing anxiety more effectively, increasing your self-awareness, and accountability.

Bullies make bad boxers

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There’s a saying in most boxing gyms: “Bullies make bad boxers.”

We all know them. Big macho dudes in the gym thinking they’ll prove their worth by pounding on everyone smaller than them.

But bullies are cowards. Afraid to expose their fears and insecurities. Ego maniacs with an inferiority complex. And it doesn’t take long before a mature boxer puts them in their place on the mat. After their weakness is exposed, they usually leave and you never see them again. There’s a clear message in good boxing gyms: “Bullies don’t belong here, and bullying behavior is unacceptable and won’t be tolerated.”

The best boxers are actually often the ones who have been bullied. They come with courage and humility, open to an honest evaluation of their strengths and weakness. They have no need to bring down those who are weaker than them. Instead, they have a burning desire to be all they are capable of being – by learning from those who are better than they are.

Muhammad Ali, at the peak of his career, was asked what he would do if a complete stranger slugged him. Ali responded, “I’d turn and run ‘cause that man must be craazzy!”

Ali was no coward. He could have easily beaten up just about anyone on the planet, and he knew it. But he was no bully. He was confident and had no need to prove himself by hurting anyone who didn’t stand a chance against him.

This is where boxing and leadership intersect. Bullies make bad leaders. There are people in organizations who use their title to abuse others. Like bullies in the boxing ring who try to show their worth by hitting people weaker than them, bullies in the workplace hide from their insecurities and turn to the cowardly actions of control, coercion, and abuse of power.

And, just like bullies in the boxing ring, bullies in the workplace need to be put in their place – by their boss or their board – and told, in no uncertain terms, that disrespectful, abusive behavior is unacceptable and won’t be tolerated.

May we have the courage and humility to face ourselves honestly and take a stand against people who abuse their power. May we all have the courage to do the right thing at the right time.

What does recovery mean to you?

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What does recovery mean to you?

As a college track athlete, I learned that a good training program must include recovery days. Bill Bowerman transformed long-distance running in the 1960’s, when he introduced the notion of rest in his approach to training. To improve, you have to step back.

In a Type A world, we don’t do recovery very well. We keep pushing. We keep striving. We keep working. We keep grinding. Often to our own detriment.

I spent the past two weeks recovering from a surgery I’d been putting off for some time. But finally, I had to just bite the bullet and get it done.

The recovery process was not easy for a guy like me who loves being in control and having my body do what I want it to.

My recovery regime when I got home went:

  1. Breathe deeply.
  2. Get outside.
  3. Walk.
  4. Hydrate.
  5. Rest.

I underestimated the degree of disruption the anesthetic and surgery would have on me – both mentally and physically. And I’m returning with a new lease on life and greater clarity. It turns out the surgery will help me breathe more deeply and sleep better. And from the experience I gained fresh ideas about my business and a renewed perspective on life.

What if we could develop a recovery habit – without having to get sick or go through a surgery to get there?
What does recovery mean to you?

Acceptance is the cornerstone to belonging

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Acceptance is the cornerstone to belonging and becomes part of the foundation of a psychologically safe place to live and work. Our awareness of the importance of psychological safety to create high trust, highly engaged, productive organizations, has increased dramatically in recent years as employees demand better workplace cultures.

Building a sense of acceptance and belonging with your team is a critical factor in building a high-performance culture in your organization.

I suggest three critical strategies for ensuring that you are building belonging around you:

  1. Take time to think about belonging on your team. Reflect on whether every team member knows that they belong, that their contribution is recognized and appreciated, and they feel accepted as a valuable member of the team.
  2. Reflect on your own inner state. Pay particular attention to how you handle stress, and how your emotional state creates either tension or inspiration in the people who depend on you.
  3. Look at your own values. Take an honest inventory of how you feel about the people on your team. Examine carefully where you have judgements and how it’s helping or hindering your success.

 

Building Belonging: The Power of Connection

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When Justin was early in recovery from a brutal, deadly five-year crystal meth addiction, his withdrawal symptoms were debilitating and painful, including excruciating paranoia and an inability to sleep. Some of his paranoia was grounded in reality. He had drug dealers and gang members breathing down his neck.
His grandmother, who was caring for him and desperate to help, asked if he wanted to go to church with her. “Maybe Jesus can help you sleep,” she said one Sunday morning. Justin had no interest in Jesus but liked his grandmother and had nothing else to do, so he went along.
It turned out that he got so bored with the sermon that he fell asleep.
Week after week, he kept going. And every week he would sleep through the service. He became a permanent fixture in the congregation. Often you could hear him snoring, but no one disturbed him. They let him be. In fact, long after the congregation left, Justin would still be lying there, fast asleep. The pastor let him sleep in the chapel all Sunday.
When I asked him why he kept going to church, he said, “It’s the only place I feel safe enough to sleep.” He eventually became an active member in the church community. It was a big part of his recovery journey.
Acceptance of another is not without boundaries, expectations, or consequences; it’s not necessarily about agreement or condoning behaviors that we would not choose for ourselves. Instead, it is a deep and simple respect for another human being. It’s an understanding that transcends judgement, prejudice, and marginalization.
Acceptance is the cornerstone to belonging and becomes part of the foundation of a psychologically safe place to live and work. Our awareness of the importance of psychological safety to create high trust, highly engaged, productive organizations, has increased dramatically in recent years as employees demand better workplace cultures. Building a sense of acceptance and belonging with your team is a critical factor in building a high-performance culture in your organization.
I suggest three critical strategies for ensuring that you are building belonging around you:
  1. Take time to think about belonging on your team. Reflect on whether every team member knows that they belong, that their contribution is recognized and appreciated, and they feel accepted as a valuable member of the team.
  2. Reflect on your own inner state. Pay particular attention to how you handle stress, and how your emotional state creates either tension or inspiration in the people who depend on you.
  3. Look at your own values. Take an honest inventory of how you feel about the people on your team. Examine carefully where you have judgements and how it’s helping or hindering your success.

Holistic Management Annual General Meeting

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Earlier this month, I had the pleasure of presenting at the Holistic Management Annual General Meeting. https://lnkd.in/dQY3YdVp

The event was held at the Lloydminster Agriculture Exhibition Association.

There is an incredible team running this facility, a team that has been built over the past forty years through the leadership of a truly remarkable community leader, Mike Sidoruk.

In the hallway, you will find this sign: