Tag Archive for: leadership

Honouring Terry Fox September 15

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Raised in British Columbia, Terry Fox was an active teenager who participated in many sports. In 1977, at 18 years old, Terry was diagnosed with Osteogenic Sarcoma (bone cancer) and his right leg was amputated six inches above the knee. In the hospital, Terry was overcome by the plight of other cancer patients and decided to run across Canada to raise money for cancer research. Terry said, “Somewhere the hurting must stop,” and called his journey the Marathon of Hope.

Terry began at St. John’s, Newfoundland to run across this great country on his artificial leg – with courage, determination and hopefulness. He would have made it to the other coast if the cancer had not returned. For 143 days, the cross-Canada Marathon of Hope gained momentum, ultimately raising over $24 million that year. Since Terry’s death in 1981, his cancer research legacy has raised over $850 million and 1,300 projects have been funded in his name.

Terry’s is honoured every September by ordinary Canadians and people around the world who participate in the Terry Fox Run. On run day, people walk, run, jog, ride, skateboard, hop, or even skip and jump along a 10 km route. Donors and participants alike know why they do this. Terry, it turned out, left a legacy of hope for everyone, everywhere.

When Terry’s mother, visited the Terry Fox Park in Cochrane in the early 1990s, she lovingly declared that Terry was no hero. Betty Fox said he was just an ordinary boy who wanted to make a difference.
I find it inspiring that often the most ordinary people among us are the ones who change the world. However you may define “changing the world,” don’t ever count yourself out as one of those people.

Why “being nice” and avoiding hard conversations isn’t really “nice” at all

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Have you ever met a “nice” person who is polite, but hard to connect with?
There’s a difference between being nice and being kind. The chart illustrates an extreme dichotomy between the two.

Nice comes from insecurity, a lack of confidence
Kind comes from high self-worth and respect

Nice is polite aloofness
Kind is genuine benevolence

Nice is people-pleasing: negating your own needs to be liked and approved of
Kind is self-advocacy: standing up for your own needs; prioritizing your well-being

Nice has no personal boundaries; inability to say no
Kind has healthy boundaries; the ability to say no with compassion and respect

Nice is conflict avoidant – a desire to maintain harmony at all costs
Kind is honesty – being willing to communicate directly and compassionately about issues

Nice leads to courteous disconnection
Kind leads to authentic connection

Don’t Get Stuck In The Pursuit Of Perfection: The Power of Small, Continuous Improvement

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I’ve always had a hard time enjoying an activity because of my unrealistic expectations of perfection. Years ago I took piano lessons and I recall how much I practiced Für Elise focusing on perfection. I became hyper-aware of each barely noticeable flaw and when a finger slipped and shattered any illusion I had of perfection, I was devastated. Despite playing very well for several minutes all I could focus on were the mistakes.

Unable to appreciate my overall accomplishment or joy of making music I was ready to quit and didn’t play again until my next lesson.

After hearing my frustration, my wonderful piano teacher stopped my playing and gently said, “You’re never going to be a concert pianist, David. Why don’t you just enjoy playing?”

That was a life-changing moment. Instead of a perfectionist, I am learning to be content with making progress. I realize that perfectionism is only a coping mechanism to cover up inadequacy. It can paralyze us, holding us back for fear of falling short of impossibly high standards. At best it becomes a reason to quit, an excuse to save face. At worst, it creates a life of unending tension and stress.

Living authentically means a willingness to make mistakes and stumble, providing that we’re stumbling forward. Today I’m not so interested in what I can achieve as much as what I am becoming. I’ve not “arrived” because there is no finish line. When I remember this, life is more enjoyable.

You Can’t Leave Belonging To Chance

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If you think about the time you have spent in your family, at school, and organizations you’ve worked in, you know what it feels like to belong or not belong, and why it matters. It’s the difference between feeling isolated, detached, and irrelevant, and feeling connected, valued, and engaged. Belonging makes all the difference. We all need to feel that we belong, are needed and appreciated, and that we have something important to offer.

You can’t leave belonging to chance. Leaders have a responsibility to be intentional about creating a space where everyone knows they belong.

Here are three strategies:

  1. Take accountability for your own belonging. Belonging starts from within. Acknowledge that you have participated in creating the conditions you want changed.We can’t expect others to value and respect us until we value and respect ourselves.
  2. Make it safe to have real conversations. Belonging grows in a climate of dialogue. Start by asking: How are we putting up barriers to belonging here? What doubts or reservations do you have? What have you said yes to that you no longer really mean? Peter Block reminds us that leaders must protect space for the expression of people’s doubts. Be curious and get interested.
  3. Focus on gifts. Typically, the only time we talk about a person’s gifts is at their retirement party or funeral. Don’t wait until people are on their way out to express gratitude. Instead of telling people what they need to improve and what they should do differently next time, focus on their talents. Tell others about the gifts you have received from them, the unique strengths and capacities you see in them, and what they do that makes a difference.

4 Ways To Lead With Initiative

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After lunch today, I was in a hurry to get back to the office, and just placed my dishes on the counter rather than taking an extra few seconds to put them in the dishwasher.

When others pick up the slack and do too much for us, we lose what my parents called good old-fashioned initiative.

In a world full of opportunity, those who take initiative are the ones who truly thrive and shape the world. Taking initiative isn’t just about being proactive. It’s about seizing control of your life and career by seeing what needs to be done and stepping up before being asked.

Not only do those who take initiative solve the world’s problems, they breed growth, inspiration, and success around them. They are the true leaders in organizations.

Four ways to lead with initiative:

  1. Have a vision that serves the world beyond self-interest.
  2. Decide to be a giver rather than a taker. Stop waiting for permission. Look around for what needs doing and do it.
  3. Stay curious and continuously seek to learn.
  4. Decide to have a can-do attitude.

Is it well-loved?

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For the past several weeks while looking at houses, our realtor introduced an expression, “This house has been well loved.” Now at some showings, I find myself saying, “This is not a well-loved house.” Some people truly turn a house into a home that is worth loving, while some only take from their surroundings.

This got me thinking beyond houses. Some houses are loved, while some are not. Some cars are loved, while some are not. Some jobs are loved, while some are not. Some people in our lives are loved, while some are not.

If a house isn’t loved, you can’t blame the house. The more you love a place the more that place will give a reason to love it. The same is true of a car or any possession. It’s also true of our work and the people around us.

There are fundamentally two kinds of people in the world: takers and givers. Which one are you? While it can certainly depend on the day, here’s a question that’s worth reflecting on: Do you dedicate yourself to making your world worth living in, or do you expect that the world will devote itself to making you happy? And what is the result of your approach?

Whatever you have, is it well loved? Whoever is in your life, are they well-loved?