What do you do when someone on your team stops caring – and what if that person is you?

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Caring is a part of who we are. If you’ve stopped caring, it is a coping strategy in response to stress. Not caring means you have built a wall to protect yourself. Maybe you’ve been hurt and are shielding yourself from further pain. Or perhaps you are exhausted from too many demands and expectations of others. Maybe you’re burned out from being pulled in too many directions and are simply backing away.

If this is a person on your team, treat it as an opportunity to explore this with them. If it is you, explore these issues with yourself. Remember that there is a legitimate reason that you stopped caring. There’s no sense judging yourself for it, but by all means, get to the bottom of it so you can open your heart and move forward with compassion. Life is more enjoyable and fulfilling when you bring yourself back to a caring place. And be sure you get there in a caring way.

When offered an opportunity that feels too BIG or too Challenging – how do we know what we can handle?

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Frankly, sometimes I don’t know. I have often found myself jumping off a cliff and building wings as I fall. Usually things work out if I lean into whatever is challenging me.

Here’s a few things I do know:

  1. If I’m comfortable, I’m probably not growing. I don’t need to be growing all the time, but I need to be growing some of the time, so I welcome discomfort periodically as an opportunity to learn something new.
  2. If something feels too big or too challenging, it’s helpful to ask myself if the fear is helping or hindering me. Sometimes I need to listen to the fear and back off because it’s something that’s not right for me at the time or good for me. And sometimes I need to walk through the fear and not pay too much attention to it.
  3. I generally find it helpful to talk this through with a trusted colleague, friend, or guide. I often need support and guidance to sort it out.

3 Habits you can start TODAY to make you a better leader

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  1. Stop working. I’m not saying be lazy, but reconsider what real work is. We typically think we aren’t working if we aren’t in front of our computer. Get up from your desk and visit or call a member of your team. Find out how they’re doing. Listen to their concerns and take the time to assess their level of passion, energy, and alignment to the work they’re doing.
  2. Clarify your why. Ask yourself why you get out of bed in the morning. Why do you come to work? Why did you take on the position of leadership? Why is what you do important to you? It doesn’t have to be a fancy mission statement. It just has to be clear enough to inspire you to show up with greater passion, energy, and focus.
  3. Start sharing your why. Let others know what your vision is and why what you do matters to you, the team, and the organization. Let people know how important they are to your vision and to the purpose of the organization. Renew your explicit commitment to support them with their dreams and their vision. Ensure that your aspirations and values are aligned.

Words people use to describe great leaders

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If you ask AI for a profile of a great leader, you’ll get something like, “great leaders are visionary, inspirational, empathetic, decisive, innovative, collaborative, charismatic, resilient, authentic, and strategic.” This may be a good list to aspire to, but it’s an impossible standard to uphold if you think you have to be there to be called a great leader.

While the best leaders (with or without a title) do exhibit many of these attributes, the two qualities that eclipse them all are self-awareness and self-assurance (my good friend, Jeremy Amyotte, wrote a great book on these topics). Some days you may not exhibit any of these qualities, or some are simply not in your wheelhouse of strength. Self-awareness and self-assurance mean that you are comfortable enough with yourself to be honest about the gaps in your leadership – whether on a particular day or in your leadership in general – and either find others to fill those gaps or at least not hurt people or your organization by your unacknowledged blind spots.

Self-awareness and self-assurance come from making time for self-exploration. We all have the capacity to be a leader in our own unique way. Thankfully there’s no profile of an ideal leader. What leaders must be willing to do, however, is devote themselves to increasing their self-awareness and self-assurance. People that are willing to look inside themselves, listen humbly to hard feedback, get ongoing support from trusted confidants, and be committed to continual growth, tend to be called great leaders.

When is help not helpful as a leader?

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We raised chickens on the farm growing up. It’s painful to watch a chick hatch when you’re a born caregiver like me. One day I “helped” a chick by breaking the egg for it. To my horror, it died.

On that fateful day I learned that sometimes help isn’t always helpful. Sometimes people need to go through the struggle to gain the strength to succeed. I see this when we do too much for kids. We call it snowplow parents when we prepare the road for the child rather than prepare the child for the road. Snowplow parenting and snowplow leadership can lead to entitlement, anxiety from a lack of confidence to deal with the reality of life, and burned out leaders.

Snowplow leadership is always fueled by caring, but expressed through overprotective.

What might you be doing as leaders to help your teams too much and thereby have them miss out on growth opportunities?

Honouring Terry Fox September 15

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Raised in British Columbia, Terry Fox was an active teenager who participated in many sports. In 1977, at 18 years old, Terry was diagnosed with Osteogenic Sarcoma (bone cancer) and his right leg was amputated six inches above the knee. In the hospital, Terry was overcome by the plight of other cancer patients and decided to run across Canada to raise money for cancer research. Terry said, “Somewhere the hurting must stop,” and called his journey the Marathon of Hope.

Terry began at St. John’s, Newfoundland to run across this great country on his artificial leg – with courage, determination and hopefulness. He would have made it to the other coast if the cancer had not returned. For 143 days, the cross-Canada Marathon of Hope gained momentum, ultimately raising over $24 million that year. Since Terry’s death in 1981, his cancer research legacy has raised over $850 million and 1,300 projects have been funded in his name.

Terry’s is honoured every September by ordinary Canadians and people around the world who participate in the Terry Fox Run. On run day, people walk, run, jog, ride, skateboard, hop, or even skip and jump along a 10 km route. Donors and participants alike know why they do this. Terry, it turned out, left a legacy of hope for everyone, everywhere.

When Terry’s mother, visited the Terry Fox Park in Cochrane in the early 1990s, she lovingly declared that Terry was no hero. Betty Fox said he was just an ordinary boy who wanted to make a difference.
I find it inspiring that often the most ordinary people among us are the ones who change the world. However you may define “changing the world,” don’t ever count yourself out as one of those people.