When I go to the gym, I’m focused and intense.

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When I go to the gym, I’m focused and intense.

I can also be judgmental of “amateurs.”

So one day, while I was waiting for one of the weight machines, there were two seniors joking around, oblivious to the fact that I was impatiently waiting for the equipment they were “playing around on.”

I thought to myself, “Don’t you know that you’re holding me up from getting my workout in?”

Then I realized that I was so tense compared to them, and it dawned on me, what good is it to get stronger at the expense of my well-being?

Maybe they are actually getting more from the workout by having a community and taking care of their mental health.

And… who will live the longest?
Even more importantly: Who will live better?

No easy answers. But I thought it was important to raise the question.

How do you show the people you care about that you care about them?

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How do you show the people you care about that you care about them?

When I was eleven, our family drove across the county to experience Expo 67 in Montreal and on to upper state New York to visit my uncle.

As part of our visit, Uncle Reed took us into New York City for the day. My dream was to go to the top of the Empire State Building. My brother (who was four years older) had a dream, too – to see the New York Stock Exchange.

We were late getting to the Empire State Building and had to rush to make it to the stock exchange before it closed. So we only had time to get to the 86th floor observatory before leaving for the stock exchange. I never made it to the top. I remember crying all the way down.

This story has become legendary in our family. My daughters will tell you, to this day, that I felt sorry for myself for years that my brother always got his way and I always got the short end of the stick. They reminded me often that I had carried it long enough and it was time to let it go.

We’ve traveled many places as a family, but we have never been to NYC together, so when my daughter was there a few years ago, she texted me the image below with a message:

“Dad, you don’t need to be sad any longer that you didn’t make it to the 102nd floor of the Empire State Building. I brought you up here with me.”

When it comes to caring about the people we care about, the little things are the big things.

#caring #authenticity #authenticleadership

How to start a new habit.

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How to start a new habit.

Assess the quality of your life by looking at your habits. If you want to change your life, change your habits.

Here’s seven keys to changing a habit:

  1. Articulate your why. Create a compelling reason to change a habit or create a new you. And be sure the change is right for you.
  2. Think carefully before you make this agreement to yourself and scrupulously keep the agreement. Integrity and self-respect trump any result you gain from the habit.
  3. Start with one habit at a time. If you chase two rabbits, they’ll both get away.
  4. Start small and be consistent. It’s better to have a small success than a big failure. If you’ve never exercised before and you want to change this habit, don’t start by purchasing a gym membership. Start with a five minute walk every day.
  5. Let go of results. This sounds counter-intuitive but it has made a profound difference for me. Whether you are starting a habit of practicing guitar, reading books, or exercising, go for a set time each day and let go of what it is supposed to look like.
  6. Be specific at first and progress s-l-o-w-l-y. If you start walking 35 minutes/week (5 minutes/day), then increase no more than 10% per week. Next week you’ll be walking 37.5 minutes (5 min, 22 seconds/day). Within a year, you’ll be walking effortlessly for over an hour a day and loving it.
  7. Find an accountability partner – someone who will support you and help hold you accountable for keeping the promises you have made to yourself.
  8. Enjoy the self-respect that comes from the integrity of keeping a promise that’s important to you – and experience radical change in your life.

Does the word accountability have a positive or negative association for you?

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Does the word accountability have a positive or negative association for you?

Throughout my career, accountability has been a central focus of my research and teaching.

Here are ten things I’ve learned about accountability:

  1. Accountability is the ability to be counted on. Never make a promise you don’t intend to keep, and when you make a promise, keep it, whether you feel like it or not.
  2. Think carefully before you make an agreement – then painstakingly keep the agreements you make. It’s much easier to say no upfront than it is to get out of an agreement that you no longer want to keep. And when you say yes, follow through.
  3. It’s easier to see a lack of accountability in others. It’s a lot easier to be mad at someone else for being late than to be mad at yourself for not showing up on time.
  4. Accountability is the cornerstone of self-respect. No one takes pride in doing something easy. Keeping a promise always leaves you feeling better about yourself. And when you respect yourself, you earn the trust and respect of others.
  5. Accountability inspires others. Accountability is usually used to hammer rather than inspire people. When properly understood, accountability is meant to create safety, alignment, and trust. It’s inspiring to be around people who can be counted on. You’ll get much further building accountability with a flashlight rather than a stick.
  6. Accountability is about ownership. Blaming and finger-pointing are all symptoms of a lack of accountability. Decide that all blame is a waste of time and your life will change forever. Accountability is ultimately about looking in the mirror.
  7. Accountability is about growing up. There’s a difference between maturity and aging. All beings grow oldbut growing up is the duty of human beings.
  8. Accountability requires a recovery plan. When you can’t keep a promise here’s a three-step recovery plan: a) Let your creditor know as soon as you know if your agreement is jeopardized; b) Negotiate with your creditor to minimize damages and re-commit to a new agreement; 3) Learn from your experience so it doesn’t happen again.
  9. To avoid downstream problems, get the agreements right. The vast majority of accountability problems stem from a lack of clear agreements and understanding the consequences. Courageous conversations upstream will prevent problems down the line.
  10. Accountability lies at the core of leadership. If you want your best people to produce results, stay engaged, be inspired, find value in coming back to the office after working from home, and be loyal, it all starts with a well-designed and delivered accountability process.

The Myth Of A High-Functioning Team

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The Myth Of A High-Functioning Team

In forty years of doing this work, I have never come across a dysfunctional team. Every team has elements of disfunction and elements of health and falls somewhere on that spectrum. There is no formula. No template.

I have seen teams that are achieving incredible results that would fail dismally in terms of measuring up to what experts would describe as a “high functioning team.” And I’ve seen teams that can check off all the “High Functioning Teams” boxes but are still failing miserably.

This can also be said for leaders and individuals. There’s no blueprint. From our research and observation, however, six actions will support the health of any team:

  1. Know your why. And make sure everyone is clear, inspired and aligned with that purpose. A clear purpose leads to clarity about how much trust, engagement, and accountability you require.
  2. Connect contribution to purpose. Every team member needs to know that they made a meaningful contribution.
  3. Get the right people on the bus. You can’t train for character or chemistry. You can’t make a good hockey team out of a bunch of tennis players.
  4. Get clear about what you expect from each other. Ambiguity leads to mediocrity. Be sure to include, in the expectations, how you can best support each other.
  5. Turn expectations into agreements. Hold each other accountable for delivering on the promises you make to each other and to the people you serve.
  6. Stay self-aware. Be open for feedback. Keep learning. A team that learns together stays together – or at least stays engaged.

If you are interested to learn more about building a healthy culture, join us for this month’s complimentary webinar: https://lnkd.in/d37Prt4a

 

Signs of burnout: How to recognize and evaluate what to keep doing and what to let go of.

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Signs of burnout: How to recognize and evaluate what to keep doing and what to let go of.

From personal experience, I know that burnout is real. It is not to be dismissed.

Here are some signs:

  1. Lack of enthusiasm and vitality
  2. Difficulty getting up in the morning and falling asleep at night.
  3. Speaking in a monotone.
  4. Feeling bored and listless.
  5. Feeling alienated from your family, co-workers, and friends
  6. Feeling hungry but lack an appetite.
  7. Becoming depressed (the line between burnout and depression is very thin).

If you notice some of these symptoms, here’s a suggested strategy to start a recovery path:

  1. Be honest with yourself. Most people cross the line into burnout at some point in their life.
  2. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with people who depend on you. Ask them what absolutely needs to stay on your plate and what you can let go of.
  3. Get clear and ask for the support you need.
  4. Take an Energy Inventory. Assess what activities, in the last week, gave you energy and which depleted you. Ask yourself if your tiredness is “bad” tired or “good” tired. Remember: Burnout is not about hard work; it’s about heartache.
  5. Delegate everything possible that you hate doing to someone who would love doing it.
  6. Accept that guilt is inevitable for conscientious, accountable people. Just don’t put guilt in the driver’s seat. Walk through with grace.