Life in Transition: Facing Adversity Through the Hero’s Journey

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Midway on our life’s journey, I found myself

In dark woods, the right road lost…

– From THE INFERNO OF DANTE, Robert Pinsky, trans.

When Barry’s life shifted overnight—a downsized job, the sudden, unexpected end of a twenty-five year marriage, a son being admitted to a treatment centre for addiction (all within a period of thirty days) – he found himself completely lost in the dark woods. Each morning, he woke with questions that had no easy answers: “Who am I now?” “How can I handle this?” “How do I possibly get through this?” Far from feeling heroic, Barry felt stuck and overwhelmed by worry, inadequacy, grief, and self-doubt.

Then, in our coaching together, while recalling some movies and novels Barry had been drawn to over the years, we began wondering if some of these stories held clues for navigating his own adversity. It was at this point I turned Barry to the wisdom of the Hero’s Journey—not only to endure his trials, but to embrace and transform them.

Understanding the Hero’s Journey

The Hero’s Journey was popularized by Joseph Campbell and is a pattern often found in myths, memoirs, and films. The journey begins in the ordinary world, but a “call to adventure” thrusts the hero out of comfort and into the unknown. Adversity arrives through tests, setbacks, and internal doubts. With the help of mentors and allies, the hero faces an “ordeal,” discovers their strength, and eventually returns home—changed, resilient, and armed with new wisdom.

Like Barry, many of us experience life-changing transitions not by choice, but by necessity. In these moments, we are called—often reluctantly—to be the heroes of our own story. Facing adversity through the lens of the Hero’s Journey can provide the structure and inspiration needed when everything seems to be falling apart.

Understanding What a Hero Is, and Your Place in Your Story

When I bring up the topic of a “hero” or “heroine” to an audience, there is inevitably some pushback. “I don’t see myself as any kind of hero” is a response I often hear. A hero (or heroine) isn’t someone who is necessarily outstanding in the world, but someone who has found and followed a path of their unfulfilled self.

When I introduced my graduate students, who were studying to become psychotherapists, to the notion of a “hero’s journey,” one student related not so much to Luke Skywalker in the Star Wars franchise, but rather to the droid, R2-D2. Known for his reliability, bravery, friendship, and versatility, R2-D2 was a loyal companion to many of the key characters in the series. “My heroine’s journey is not to be the hero, but a supporter of heroes and heroines.”

Step 1: Name the Transition and Answer the Call

Adversity begins with a disruption—a diagnosis, a loss, a betrayal. Our instinct may be to resist, clinging tightly to what we know. The first strategy is to name your transition and accept the call. Acknowledge what you are going through. Instead of minimizing pain or pretending life is unchanged, take an honest assessment of the new reality. “I’m not in Kansas anymore.” “This is hard. I am grieving the end of a chapter.” Naming your experience interrupts confusion and denial, preparing you for what’s ahead.

Once the challenge is named, look beneath the surface to see what values, dreams, or relationships are being tested. What “adventure” does this transition ask of you? Facing the uncertainty with open eyes is a crucial first step.

Step 2: Seek Mentors, Allies, and Support

No hero succeeds alone. In every transformative journey, mentors offer wisdom, allies provide encouragement, and even adversaries teach hard lessons. Make it a priority to seek support. Reach out to friends, peers, and professionals. Vulnerability is not weakness; it is the beginning of connection.

Some guides arrive unexpectedly—a thoughtful supervisor, a book that speaks to your heart, a support group that understands your struggle. Accepting help is an act of courage, reminding you that adversity is a shared human experience. As obstacles arise, allow trusted allies to walk with you, reminding you of your inner strength and reflecting possibilities you cannot yet see.

Step 3: Transform Obstacles into Growth

The most critical moment in the Hero’s Journey is the ordeal—a point where both giving up and past certainties are tempting. Here, focus on transforming obstacles into opportunities for growth. Adopt a mindset that welcomes hardship as a teacher. Embrace the hard stuff. What can you learn from this difficulty? What strengths are emerging? Practice self-compassion and celebrate even small victories.

Reflect regularly on how you are persevering. Use the adversity to deepen empathy, clarify values, and foster adaptability. Let trials forge new understandings about yourself. When you reframe setbacks as a path to transformation, you build resilience and prepare for life’s next adventure.

Like Barry, everyone eventually faces a situation where life is shattered by an unexpected transition. By framing adversity as a Hero’s Journey, a “call to an adventure,” rather than the “survival of a disaster,” you gain tools to navigate the unknown: naming your struggles, seeking connection, and transforming hardship into growth. These strategies empower you to be more than a survivor – instead, you become a hero on a voyage, embracing a time of great difficulty, allowing the pain to break you open so a stronger, wiser and kinder self can emerge.

FROM TRANSITIONS TO TRANSFORMATIONS:  Exaggerating The Essential

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My good friend Allan is currently in the hospital recovering from surgery that removed his voice box in response to a rare kind of throat cancer. He’s relying on tubes inserted into his abdomen for fluids and food. As a psychiatrist whose career relied on speaking and sharing his wisdom, his life will never be the same. (A white board that he uses for communicating displays the message in the image above.)

It is expected that he will soon find a way to communicate verbally through the amazing advances in technology. When I asked how he was without a voice, Allan wrote, “I am not frustrated with not speaking. I’ve attended fourteen silent retreats so lots of practice. They were voluntary, but I am surrendering with intention and permission to slowing down my typing and keeping things short while I’m here.” He then referred to a Vincent Van Gough quote, “I have learned to exaggerate the essential and leave the ordinary deliberately vague.”

In “The Starry Night,” the swirling sky and glowing stars were exaggerated, while the village below is rendered simple and vague, emphasizing the dreamlike, emotive qualities Van Gogh found essential. Similarly, Allan is surrounded by his faith, his perspective and approach to life, and the love of the people who care so deeply about him. He understands the vital importance of exaggerating these essentials.

Life’s interruptions – whether a health crisis, a job loss, the death of a loved one, becoming a parent, a move, a divorce – are like sudden storms that reroute even the most carefully charted journeys, forcing us out of familiar harbors into unknown seas. Navigating these transitions demands more than resilience; it calls for a willingness to let go of old certainties, embrace vulnerability, and discover new depths within ourselves. In those moments when life fractures the expected and invites us into uncertainty, we find the raw material for transformation and the unfolding of our true story.

According to Allan, “the idea of moving with transitions is to transform us into new visions of what we are now, have been, and continue to become. We then shift from transformation to transcendence and live in a new way with a vision of ourselves we never had before. Transaction to transformation to transcendence is predicated on recognizing the waves of transition that carry us from one to the other.”

Here are three essentials that Allan has reminded me to exaggerate, to turn a transition into a transformation.

  1. Acceptance. Suffering doesn’t come from life. It comes from resisting life. If you’re going to pick a fight with reality, you’re going to lose every time. Welcome the hard stuff and befriend all that it brings. In the pile of manure you will one day find a pony – if you keep digging. By meeting pain and fear with compassion and curiosity, we allow ourselves to be reshaped by the experience and discover new strengths and deeper self-understanding.
  2. Centering. To be transformed during change, it is essential to rely on something in our life that isn’t changing – a stable core from which to draw strength, clarity, and resilience. This inner sanctuary serves as a grounding point amid external turbulence and brings us into the present moment, enabling us to navigate uncertainty without losing our sense of self. By cultivating practices of reflection, self-acceptance, and emotional awareness, we create a personal anchor that supports us through the upheaval of change. Whether it’s daily prayer, meditation, or finding a sanctuary in nature, adhering to a daily practice for centering steadies us during the disorienting chaos of transition and fosters the emergence of new perspectives and renewed purpose.
  3. Community. Transitions are a lonely journey, but they can’t be done alone. Finding confidants, guides, partners, or allies to walk beside us are necessary to get us through to the other side. In a world marked by fragmentation and rapid change, it is community that weaves together what has been pulling us apart, anchoring transformation in the fabric of relationships.

Ultimately, life transitions teach us about ourselves: our capacity for adaptation, our core values, and our deepest yearnings. If we allow the pain of difficult experiences to break us open, a stronger, wiser, kinder self can emerge. The journey through change can reveal truths that were hidden when life felt certain and predictable. Transitions can illuminate new paths toward authenticity, purpose, and belonging. With patience, presence, self-compassion, and support, the uncertainty of transition is also the birth of new possibilities.

On a personal note, I, too, have had to practice exaggerating these essentials as I write my memoir this year. I’m processing the insights and healing impact that this endeavor has had on me thus far. It has been a catalyst for a significant transition as I move into the next chapter of my life. I look forward to sharing the ongoing journey with you over the coming months.

SHAPING THE NEXT CHAPTER OF YOUR LIFE – AUTHENTICALLY

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The pandemic has created an opportunity to shine a light on the quality and depth of your life, your leadership, and your relationships. The past several months have been a time of reflection and evaluation to ask questions such as:

  • Where is my career going?
  • Do I really want to spend the rest of my days working seventy hours a week?
  • How can I be a better leader by focusing on what truly matters?

One client talked about how, for the past twenty-five years, she was in the “rhythm of a corporate tune, continually reacting to the demands of others.” She said, “Now is the time to find my own new rhythm.”

I offer some strategies for moving into the next chapter of your life as you settle into the new reality which will likely be with us long-term:

  1. Decide to see this as an opportunity. Choices have great power to determine the outcome of your life.
  2. Make room to step back, pull out a journal, and answer some questions:
  • What’s been working well in your life?
  • What areas are not flowing/working well?
  • Where might you be over-accommodating, compromising yourself, and burning out?
  • What parts of your life have you felt most excited/passionate about?
  • What do you feel called to do?
  • What might need to shift/change/end?
  1. Reach for your why – your reason for being – an inspiring purpose for getting out of bed in the morning.
  2. Reflect on your most important values.
  3. Consider your unique abilities, talents, and gifts that set you apart from the crowd.
  4. Plan on how you will contribute and serve the world over the next five to ten years.
  5. Include your loved ones in your plans and intentions.

Authentically shaping the next chapter of your life, whether you stay in your current role, decide to renew it, make a transition to a new role or even a new career, or are considering what retirement might look like, requires careful and conscious attention. From time to time, we all drift away from our true nature. When we realign with our authentic self, we amplify our positive impact as a leader and create meaning and purpose in our life.

If you want to learn ways to shape the next chapter of your life in alignment with your authentic self, please join me for a complimentary one-hour webinar on September 23. This – and more – will be included in the webinar and in my upcoming virtual Life In Transitions course.

The webinar is offered at 9 am MT and 5 pm MT. Register now to make sure you get a seat!