Tag Archive for: Articles by David Irvine

Authentic Success and the Wisdom of Youth

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In my opinion, young people today are, for the most part, wiser than I was at their age. They’re wiser because they have observed the mistakes of their parents and the adults that have raised them and are determined to live life differently.

My daughter’s best friend, an amazing, authentic young woman, was valedictorian at her high school graduation. Here’s a couple of paragraphs from her speech:

“I think that sometimes people are too terrified of failure, and they let it stop them,” Janelle told her graduating class. “You are never a loser for trying. Never. To be honest, one of my favourite quotes comes from Little Miss Sunshine, of all places. When the grandpa is questioned on what a loser means, he says, ‘a real loser is someone who’s so afraid of not winning, they don’t even try.’”

“There’s a preconceived notion surrounding us,” Janelle continued, “that condemns one to be a loser simply for not being the best, or being imperfect. Please, never, ever let yourselves be degraded into believing this. I implore you all to have faith in  yourselves; have faith in your dreams; Our goals are unique and deserve respect; we shouldn’t let anyone make  us inferior for holding on to them. Success doesn’t lie in brilliance or being consistently perfect in all your endeavors. You’d never learn anything that way. Authentic success is discovering, growing, breaking, fixing, and all things to do with uncertainty. Success holds holds a different definition for each person, and no definition is inferior to another. There are so many ways to be successful, and it’s something that each one of us is going to discover for ourselves…”

Thank you, Janelle, for the inspiration of your authentic presence, not just in this speech, but in the influence you have had in my life since you first connected with our family years ago. I’m a better person for knowing you. May we all be a little more attuned to the wisdom of our amazing youth, that have so much to teach us about living authentically.

The Inspiration Of A Training Master

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I was inspired by an article in the Calgary Herald about the former Calgary Flame, Gary Roberts, who, by transforming his own life through nutrition and exercise, is now doing the same for the next crop of NHL stars.

Driven prematurely from the sport at the age of 28 because of bone spurs and nerve damage in his neck, Gary staged one of the most astonishing comebacks in recent memory, enduring two surgeries and extensive rehab to return to play for several more seasons with Carolina, Florida, Pittsburgh, and Tampa Bay.

“I had something taken away from me that I loved, the game of hockey,” Gary explains. “And like it’s often said, you don’t really know how much you love something until it’s gone. My desire to play again is what led me to becoming immersed in health. The injury changed my life. The fact that I began to train properly and eat right allowed me to come back and play 13 more years.”

Now, at the age of 44, Gary proclaims he’s in better shape than he was when he came to training camp at the age of 18. Since retiring from hockey in 2009, Gary now trains and coaches young elite hockey players in the area of fitness and nutrition.
This is leadership at it’s finest: Taking your trials and turning them into talents.
What’s your story?

What Are You Dedicated To?

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It’s been said that you can be world class at everything if you spend 10,000 hours practicing. That’s  3 hours a day for ten years, give or take a few days. What that means is that every person could be world class at something ten years from now. For some, it could be an olympic athlete. For others, a world class musician or artist. Some will be dedicated to their health or their wisdom, in order to remain a vital, contributing person as they age. Some will dedicate their lives to writing, speaking, or learning to communicate to impact others in a positive way. Others will be dedicated to a spiritual practice, community service, or  a cause beyond their own self-interest. Some are dedicating their time to parenting. And others will become world class complainers. Have you ever met a world class complainer? It’s a person who has spent three hours a day for the past ten years complaining. If you spend three hours a day watching television, you will be a world class television watcher, and if you watch the same shows during that time, it’s likely that no one else in the world will know more about those shows than you.

Years ago I memorized a quote written by the nineteenth century poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, whose words continue to inspire me:

“The heights by great men [or women] reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.”

I don’t think he was talking about distracting yourself by surfing the net at 3:00 am. He was talking about being dedicated to something.

The question is: What are you dedicated to? Where are you investing your time? What difference are you making in the world through this dedicated effort? Is what you are dedicated to inspiring you? Engaging you? Making a contribution to others? Do you have a vision that awakens you, that gets you up early or keeps you up late? What if you set a worthwhile ten-year vision to dedicate your life to? It’s never too late to consciously dedicate your life to a vision that inspires you. You are going to be ten years older in ten years anyway. Why not dedicate yourself to a worthy cause in the process? You can be interested in something, but that is different than being dedicated.

How is the Clarity of Your Conviction?

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“Then I asked: Does a firm persuasion that a thing is so, make it so. He replied: All poets believe that it does, and in ages of imagination this firm persuasion removed mountains; but many are not capable of a firm persuasion of anything.” William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

To achieve a goal, a leader need a clear purpose and firm conviction. In the Sanskrit language there is a word for a firm mind: vyavasayam., which means agriculture. To reap a harvest, a cultivator needs a firm mind with one conviction that “by doing such and such, you will harvest this much.” With such conviction one does everything towards fulfillment. You don’t haphazardly throw seeds on unprepared soil or sow the seeds and say, “I don’t have time to care for it.” A good cultivator doesn’t change when the going gets tough. He continuously uses his effort until his goal is reached. That is what is meant by a firm mind.

People with a fleeting type of mind don’t stick to one thing. They may choose something, but become scattered. When things get difficult or uncomfortable, those with an infirm mind will lose concentration and be distracted by the allure of an easier, softer, or cheaper way. They’ll keep switching to something else. It’s like digging many shallow wells. They never find water and are always thirsty.

The achievement of a worthy goal will require you to ride out the storms with dedicated, focused effort, knowing you won’t get the fruit over night. It won’t be easy. And it won’t happen without the clarity and conviction of a firm mind.

Imagine a fisherman who is determined to catch a fish. He is in a small boat in the middle of the lake. It’s raining, chilly, and windy and his boat is being blown about. He casts his line and keeps his eyes only on that. Nothing disturbs him. He could be sitting comfortably at home in an easy chair, but knows he won’t catch a fish that way. Even for the simplest thing one needs great concentration.

With the clarity and conviction of a firm mind you can stay focused on your goal. It won’t matter if you experience some physical or psychological suffering or if people tell you that you are wasting your time. You won’t be distracted by discomfort or temptation. Nothing will move you from your purpose.

When you hear, “Leave that, and come watch television,” and you say, “No, I’m catching a fish and I won’t budge an inch until I do.” Then you are a true fisherman, not just someone who fishes as a hobby.

How is the clarity of your conviction? What have you achieved lately that’s come through having a firm mind?

Hurriedness, Kindness, And Organizational Health

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I was driving to a meeting a few days ago when I noticed a young woman, with two children in the back seat of her car, stopped on the side of road attempting to change a flat tire. Ordinarily, I’d like to think that I would never pass someone by like this without stopping to offer assistance. But not that morning. I was late for an important meeting with a client. Torn between two conflicting values, accountability to my client, or compassion to a stranger, I quickly made the choice to pass by this woman in need. Accountability won out. I kept my commitment to be on time and kept feeling guilty about it all day. I have since come to an important realization: I’m not as compassionate when I’m in hurry.

Over the past few days, I have spent some time researching the effect of hurriedness on one’s level of kindness. What I found is a classic social psychology study, conducted by researchers who were interested in how situations affect people’s helping behaviours. John Darley and Daniel Batson, psychologists from Princeton University, studied a group of theology students who had to listen to a lecture on charity, and who then had to move, one by one, to a nearby building. On the way, they met an accomplice of the experimenters.  This person was down on the floor, pretending to have fallen and hurt himself. Most of the students helped him. But when they were pressured and had to hurry from one building to the next, the Good Samaritans among them reduced radically. One of the priests, in his hurry, even stepped over the unfortunate crying actor and headed straight for his destination. We really are not as compassionate when we are in a hurry. We are kinder when we have more time.

One of the indicators of organizational health is kindness. It’s a sign of a healthy environment when people feel cared for, when they feel supported, when they feel acknowledged, respected, and appreciated, even in small ways. How is the level of kindness in your culture? How are hurriedness, pressure, and demands affecting people’s level of compassion? How is the hurriedness, so prevalent in today’s organization life, affecting your culture’s health and the well-being of your workplace?

What if we all slowed down and took time to be kind? Would we actually be less productive if we created a compassionate place to work?

Love And Profit: Do You Care Enough To Lead?

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In my work with executives, I am continuously struck by how those who have the credibility and the respect of their employees and colleagues are those that practice what I refer to as ‘caring leadership’. It was Voltaire who  referred to what I discuss in this article as a “triumph of humanity.” Innumerable triumphs of humanity occur every day when executives, managers, teachers, coaches, parents and others invest themselves selflessly in caring about and developing others.

During his thirty years at Meredith Corporation, James Autry was known as one of the most respected magazine executives in America, overseeing a $500 million operation with over 900 employees. “Leadership,” Autry was known to say, “is a largely a matter of love. Or if you’re uncomfortable with that word, call it caring, because good leadership involves caring for people, not manipulating them.”

Caring for people is not a fad. It’s a tried, true, and timeless principle that will always be a part of great leadership. James Autry had it right and in today’s increasingly complex, demanding, and changing world, it’s never been more true. In a position of leadership – whether executive, manager, supervisor, school principal, board chair, or parent – you are asked to hold a group of people that you serve in trust. However, having a title does not make you a leader. Holding a position of leadership is like having a driver’s license. Just because you have one doesn’t make you a good one. One measure of a leader is the capacity to influence, but another is the direction of that influence. Is the leader influencing others towards a goal worth pursuing? Leaders who influence are leaders who care – about their people, about the work they do, and about the difference they make.

Here’s what I believe it takes be a caring leader:

  1. A Decision. Caring is a decision. It’s not an emotion. You can decide to care about someone. If you care enough to look deep enough, you will find a reason to care. You can’t always control how you feel about other people, but you can certainly control how you behave toward others. Caring is not how you feel; caring is how you act. Caring is not a noun; it’s a verb. It’s leadership in action. The eminent NFL football coach, Vince Lombardi, said, “You don’t have to like your players and associates, but as leaders, you are called upon to love them.”
  2. Discipline. Almost everything humanly expressed beautifully in the world – a musical piece, a work of art, an athletic performance, or successful business venture – is manifested through discipline. The art of caring leadership is no different. Being disciplined about care means intentionally setting aside uninterrupted time to be present for people – in your office, in their office, on the plant floor. I’m not a fan of an “open door” policy for leaders. What I do like is structured office hours when employees know you will be there for them and with them. It takes discipline to carve out the time to show you care. The effort required to a build a discipline of paying attention and extending yourself for others takes work, but it’s worth it. Caring in this way is filled with rewards since having someone listen to them and acknowledge their story rewards everyone. The renowned business philosopher, Jim Rohn, once said, “for every disciplined effort, there is a multiple reward.”
  3. Space. So just what do you do in that disciplined time that you have set aside? You turn off the computer and the cell phone and anything else that can be an interruption, and you give people your full attention. You create an uninterrupted space that makes it safe to be open and honest. You can create a space in your office or you can create a space in their world. Creating space means making the workplace safe to do their work, to make mistakes, and to be who they are. Space is where the real work of leadership is done – sharing the vision, the beliefs, the values – and how all this relates to where the organization is headed and where the employee is needed.
  4. Kindness. Leadership is about producing results, but caring leadership involves being committed to people’s growth as you produce results together. Willingness to feel the pain of another’s journey and accepting without equivocation a person’s failings provides a sense that “we are in this together”. Kindness means expressing genuine concern through knowing the name, the interests, and the values of every person held in trust to you. Kindness means expressing appreciation, offering a word of encouragement, or catching people doing things right. George Washington Carver said, “Be kind to others. How far you go in life depends upon your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in your life, you will have been all of these.”
    The Absence of Self-Importance. T. S. Eliot once said, “half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important.”Manipulation, by definition, is influencing people for personal gain. Caring means you don’t need to take the credit. Caring means you make it about others, not you. Caring means a willingness to leave your ego at the door and make others feel important.
  5. Service. Albert Schweitzer said, “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know. The only ones among us who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.” Servant leadership is being committed to serve those in your care, insuring that they have what need to get their job done and grow in the process. Servant leadership is different than “pleasing” leadership, where your effort is spent trying to give people what they want. Pleasing breeds resentment, results in burnout, and turns you into a slave. Serving leads to freedom, self-respect, and well-being within and around you. You can’t make everyone on your team happy. What you can do is support their success by helping them meet their needs. Start by making a list of what you think your staff needs – resources, training, support – to achieve the results that are expected of them. Simultaneously, have them make a list. Then compare lists and have continual conversations about how you will work together to meet those needs.
  6. Clear – And High – Expectations. Caring means building a platform where people can grow. You don’t show caring by having low standards or letting people off the hook. You have to care about people and the results they produce. Caring requires high support and accompanying high expectations. You care by supporting people to go beyond what they thought they could do. Then hold them accountable for what they have agreed to. These expectations are part of a leader’s value system that must be communicated to those being led. It is important to define your top priorities with your workers and clarify the results and the attitude that you need from them. Then model what you expect – so you will be credible to hold them accountable.
  7. Organizations don’t give a leader power. Power comes from the people you serve. You earn power by earning the trust of others. And if you don’t use this power well, they will take it away from you. They take it away by making leading difficult for you by resisting and refusing to be influenced, even if they pretend to follow you because you have a legislated title.

When you choose to extend yourself by serving, sacrificing, and caring for others, you increase your capacity to influence. My good friend and high school principal, Larry Dick, says, “Caring leaders are invitational leaders.” When you care, you invite people along on a journey, and inspire them to join you. You offer them a seat on the bus – not because they have to but because they want to. A leader who knows how to influence through genuine caring will be a leader who is in great demand. The paradox, of course, is that caring leaders don’t do it to be in demand. They do it because they care.

When James Autry wrote his best-selling book, Love and Profit in 1991, he examined carefully the financial benefits of the timeless principle of leading with love. But I think he would agree that profit comes in many forms besides income, including personal and professional growth, increased confidence, friendships, community, an opportunity to contribute and make a difference, and a fulfilling, meaningful life. At the end of the day, why else are we going to work.