Tag Archive for: Gratitude

We know about good leadership. What do we know about good followship?

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A leader is only as good as the people around them. Maybe we need to spend as much time building good followers as we spend building good leaders.

Good followship encompasses:

  1. Humility. It’s not about obedience and compliance. It’s about having a strong voice, being clear and direct, while being humble, teachable, and open to learn.
  2. Service. Choose service over self-interest. Look for ways to encourage others and contribute. Good followers are dedicated to the greater good.
  3. Accountability. Know that how you show up matters. See all blame as a waste of time. Good followship means being able to be counted on.
  4. Engagement. Rather than waiting to be told what to do, good followship means showing initiative and being engaged in their work while supporting others in theirs.
  5. Gratitude. Counter entitlement with appreciation. Avoid bitterness or divisiveness, and maintain a spirit of thankfulness, even in challenging circumstances.

A Token Of Appreciation

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After my webinar on Psychological Safety this past week, I had a great conversation with Marg, my VP of Client Care. We reminisced about when she was the Senior Manager of Learning and Development at Lilydale and I consulted on some projects there. Lilydale was established over 75 years ago as an Alberta Farmers’ cooperative and today is a proud member of the Sofina Foods family. It always promised to provide Canadians with great tasting and high-quality Canadian poultry products as it built an incredible culture with some incredible leaders.

One of the great tools they used for building and reinforcing their culture was a Token of Appreciation. You were encouraged to give this token to anyone you sincerely appreciated. It was a coin, along with a little poem, to remind them not to take each other for granted and to continue strengthening the muscle of expressing gratitude.

I’ve learned that this kind of tool has to be built on sincere, honest, and caring relationships – which were evident at Lilydale. No tool can compensate for failure to connect.

Four Pillars of a Good Life

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Lindsay Kimmett was an athlete, leader, learner, and aspiring doctor with the skills and ambition to leave a big mark on the world. After her tragic passing on February 17th, 2008, her family and friends, committed to carrying on her legacy and passion for hockey, organized a 3-on-3 pond hockey tournament in Lindsay’s hometown of Cochrane, Alberta, Canada. Known as the Kimmett Cup, the tournament is held annually on the second weekend of February. It grows every year, bringing the community together and donating to local charities while contributing to the Lindsay Leigh Kimmett Memorial Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to Lindsay’s memory.

The original organizers of the event knew nothing about organizing a hockey tournament. But they wanted the tournament to reflect who Lindsay was as a person. Today, even though a lot has changed, they still strive to maintain the same principles: everyone plays; play like Lindsay did; bring community together. Lindsay lived by the motto “seize the day”. Today they live out that legacy through Lindsay’s Foundation. To date, more than $3,000,000 has been invested into the community in Lindsay’s name, across an array of both local and global initiatives.

One of the indicators of a good life is that it lives beyond a life – regardless of its length. To live authentically means taking the time to define what it means to live a well-lived life. Inspired by Otto Paul Kretzmann, a professor and pastor of the mid-20th century, I maintain that if a person is to survive, flourish, and stay sane in the modern world, four elements are essential.

  1. Something to live by. A well-lived life requires a set of values that provide guideposts and a framework for decision-making. Focused momentum is necessary for well-being and cannot be sustained by impulsive decisions. Non-negotiable principles guide an authentic life and provide strength and direction.
  2. Something to live for. Life becomes a slog when it consists merely of checking off a daily to-do list. A sense of purpose, a reason for being, and service beyond self-interest give us a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning and stay engaged with our life.
  3. Something to live on. Money may not buy you happiness, but it will buy you options. Creating an income sufficient to attend to our basic needs and allow pursuits that bring joy are important to a well-lived life. It isn’t just about how much we make, however. It’s also about how much we spend. Fulfillment is hard to grasp amid worry and financial stress. Having the discipline to live below your means and learning to be satisfied with what you have are paramount to a good life.
  4. Something to live with. Something to live by, to live for, and to live on means little if we don’t learn to live with love. A good life is one that is lived wholeheartedly, connected to the important people in our lives. Love is what makes it all worthwhile.

From a TO-DO List to a TO-BE List

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Successful people have some kind of a to-do list – stuff that needs doing this year, this week, this day.
Living authentically means having a to-be list: How will you show up in your life? What kind of person will you be when you come to work? What kind of a leader will you be?

Here’s an example of what I would consider a great to-be list:

  • Be committed. Commitment is essential for success. Commitment to a cause beyond your self-interests. Commitment takes you past a goal or wish. Being committed means a firm resolve that inspires action.
  • Be encouraging. Encouragement means a belief in people, making everyone around you smarter and better. Rather than draining energy and intelligence and capacity by pretending to be the smartest person the room, use your wisdom to amplify the intelligence and capabilities of others.
  • Be grateful. Gratitude is the antidote to entitlement. Being grateful means inspiring others by finding the best in every person and every situation. My mother grew up in poverty and would say, “Always find a way to make your gratitude bigger than your circumstances.”
  • Be humble. Humility is a true evaluation of conditions as they are. It’s having the willingness and courage to face the facts of your life. Everyone has something to teach us and has somehow been a part of our success. Humility is about giving credit where credit is due.

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How Do You Spot Entitlement?

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I’ve noticed that in the midst of great abundance there is an equal and opposite reaction: entitlement. It seems to be human nature that the more you get, the more you want.

I grew up with telephone party lines, with one line for five or six residences. Sometimes you had to wait 1/2 hour to make a phone call. Now I get impatient with my cell phone provider when I get a dropped call and have to redial with the push of one button.

The reverse of this also seems true. My mother lived through the Depression in a 900 square foot shack with nine siblings, enduring years of unimaginable poverty. She was void of entitlement. She taught me that with every right comes a responsibility. When she was close to death she said, “After 78 years, I accept death. I was fortunate just to have lived!”
Joyce did not even feel entitled to life itself. Hard times appear to be an ally in countering entitlement.

There are some key differences to observe between personal responsibility and entitlement.

A Firm Mind or an Infirm Mind

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As I write this, it’s -40 degrees on the thermometer outside our kitchen window.

That’s what most of the Canadian Prairies have been dealing with this weekend. When I hear about cities running buses for homeless people to sleep in, I am filled with gratitude for having a warm home.

When I went to unplug and start my Jeep this morning, I forgot about the homeless people and found myself being cranky about the weather. And then I reminded myself that the weather doesn’t care about how angry I am that it’s cold.
And at that moment I reminded myself of something I learned years ago: there is a difference between a firm mind and an infirm mind – between being mentally strong and being mentally weak.

A firm, strong mind is about living aligned with your vision and the principles that guide your life. It’s about having an attitude toward life where your actions aren’t swayed by your external environment (like cold weather).

Steven Covey used to say that having a strong mind is ensuring that you have a private victory in the morning to set yourself up for a public victory later in the day. Getting into the gym on cold, dark Canadian mornings and on the yoga mat when I just want to crawl back into bed, is a strength to get me through this cold weather – and the challenges of life.

There is a reservoir of capacity that lies within us all. When I do something difficult each morning it helps me tap into this inner potential and provides a small private victory that enables me to serve and hopefully make the world just a little better by my actions throughout the day.