Authenticity brings peace, power, and purpose into our lives and leadership.

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A research project posed two questions to a randomly selected group:

  1. What’s it like to live your life and not be the real you? Responses included: Exhausting, depressing, sad, stressful, lonely, disengaged, empty, and lost.
  2. What’s it like to accept yourself? Responses included: Happy, confident, joyous, free, inspiring, appreciative, alive, fulfilled.

Who would you prefer for a boss or colleague: An authentic person who is at peace with themselves or an inauthentic person who isn’t?

Leadership is truly about PRESENCE, not position.

Four Pillars of a Good Life

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Lindsay Kimmett was an athlete, leader, learner, and aspiring doctor with the skills and ambition to leave a big mark on the world. After her tragic passing on February 17th, 2008, her family and friends, committed to carrying on her legacy and passion for hockey, organized a 3-on-3 pond hockey tournament in Lindsay’s hometown of Cochrane, Alberta, Canada. Known as the Kimmett Cup, the tournament is held annually on the second weekend of February. It grows every year, bringing the community together and donating to local charities while contributing to the Lindsay Leigh Kimmett Memorial Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to Lindsay’s memory.

The original organizers of the event knew nothing about organizing a hockey tournament. But they wanted the tournament to reflect who Lindsay was as a person. Today, even though a lot has changed, they still strive to maintain the same principles: everyone plays; play like Lindsay did; bring community together. Lindsay lived by the motto “seize the day”. Today they live out that legacy through Lindsay’s Foundation. To date, more than $3,000,000 has been invested into the community in Lindsay’s name, across an array of both local and global initiatives.

One of the indicators of a good life is that it lives beyond a life – regardless of its length. To live authentically means taking the time to define what it means to live a well-lived life. Inspired by Otto Paul Kretzmann, a professor and pastor of the mid-20th century, I maintain that if a person is to survive, flourish, and stay sane in the modern world, four elements are essential.

  1. Something to live by. A well-lived life requires a set of values that provide guideposts and a framework for decision-making. Focused momentum is necessary for well-being and cannot be sustained by impulsive decisions. Non-negotiable principles guide an authentic life and provide strength and direction.
  2. Something to live for. Life becomes a slog when it consists merely of checking off a daily to-do list. A sense of purpose, a reason for being, and service beyond self-interest give us a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning and stay engaged with our life.
  3. Something to live on. Money may not buy you happiness, but it will buy you options. Creating an income sufficient to attend to our basic needs and allow pursuits that bring joy are important to a well-lived life. It isn’t just about how much we make, however. It’s also about how much we spend. Fulfillment is hard to grasp amid worry and financial stress. Having the discipline to live below your means and learning to be satisfied with what you have are paramount to a good life.
  4. Something to live with. Something to live by, to live for, and to live on means little if we don’t learn to live with love. A good life is one that is lived wholeheartedly, connected to the important people in our lives. Love is what makes it all worthwhile.

Simple Living in a Complex World: Transitions, Aristotle, and Coming Home

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Selling a house can be an emotional undertaking, a journey of self-discovery. It is a bittersweet experience as we downsize to simplify our lives.

Our peaceful home and the soothing nature reserve alongside it has been a haven to me and our family for almost two decades. It’s a place where I connected with my soul on walks in the forest, where I have meditated in the stillness and beauty of the valley, where our family appreciated the beauty of nature.

However, I’m coming to realize that a large part of my motivation to acquire this property was my need to prove myself and it has consumed much of my energy. That my worth has been tied to this place came, in part, from my early upbringing, driven by the voice of my mother who lived through poverty in the depression and who defined herself by her belongings as a result. This drive for status acquired from material possessions became part of my personal identity and has been a weight on my shoulders.

Like all patterns we create, this pattern has both a good side and a destructive one. I still love an aesthetic home that feeds my soul and am proud that we created that space for myself and loved ones. However, I know that the source of the drive to sustain it was not good for my wellbeing. In the words of the Quaker theorist of the simple life, John Woodman, I “necessitated to labour too hard.”

This struggle brings to mind Aristotle’s challenge to an external-oriented life which is as relevant today as it was twenty-three hundred years ago. He identified “external goods” as wealth, property, power, and reputation. These still create the standard vision of success in our modern times. Aristotle contrasted these external goods with elements of character or the “good of the soul”: fortitude, temperance, justice, and wisdom. When we consider what we truly want for ourselves and our children, are we overly concerned about being wealthy and successful? Or is success a means to the higher goal of being a good human being?

This transition to downsizing has inspired me to reconnect with my deepest self. Letting go is agonizing, yet it is leading me to a deeper homecoming to my authenticity.

I am looking forward to living more simply in this complex world, with less pressure and more focus on work that matters to me and the activities in life that I truly value. It’s never too late to start anew. And a huge reminder of this is that my new granddaughter, Juno, has just arrived! I look forward to spending more time with her.

Here are three lessons from my experience that I hope will be useful on your path to a simpler life:

  1. Practice making decisions based on sustainable values, not emotions. Decisions motivated by appearances, impressions, and impulses most often lead to a financial burden that you don’t need to carry.
  2. The good life is not one of consumption or size or external appearance, but of the flourishing of our deepest selves. It’s ultimately about the expression of love, giving of ourselves, and developing strong character.
  3. True belonging and worth ultimately don’t come from a physical place. They come from within.

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week

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The theme for Mental Health Awareness Week this year is “My Story,” highlighting that we are all unique with valuable stories of the human experience.

Every one of us has been impacted by our own or a close friend or family member’s mental health challenge. Mental health affects us all. Let’s continue to work together to reduce the barriers for seeking mental health support. And let’s share our diverse stories to emphasize the crucial need for universal mental health care.

If you are in the Cochrane area, join Wayfinders Wellness Society for our open house and BBQ on our ranch this Thursday from 11-2. We are partnering with the town of Cochrane for this event. Register for this and other events this week in the Cochrane community at: https://lnkd.in/gCVpGM8a

To learn more about what we offer at Wayfinders check out our website:
wayfinderswellness.ca

From a TO-DO List to a TO-BE List

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Successful people have some kind of a to-do list – stuff that needs doing this year, this week, this day.
Living authentically means having a to-be list: How will you show up in your life? What kind of person will you be when you come to work? What kind of a leader will you be?

Here’s an example of what I would consider a great to-be list:

  • Be committed. Commitment is essential for success. Commitment to a cause beyond your self-interests. Commitment takes you past a goal or wish. Being committed means a firm resolve that inspires action.
  • Be encouraging. Encouragement means a belief in people, making everyone around you smarter and better. Rather than draining energy and intelligence and capacity by pretending to be the smartest person the room, use your wisdom to amplify the intelligence and capabilities of others.
  • Be grateful. Gratitude is the antidote to entitlement. Being grateful means inspiring others by finding the best in every person and every situation. My mother grew up in poverty and would say, “Always find a way to make your gratitude bigger than your circumstances.”
  • Be humble. Humility is a true evaluation of conditions as they are. It’s having the willingness and courage to face the facts of your life. Everyone has something to teach us and has somehow been a part of our success. Humility is about giving credit where credit is due.

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The Workplace as a Classroom for Self-Development

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Work harder on yourself than you do on your job. It was a phrase that changed Jim Rohn’s life. As the legendary personal development speaker and author famously said, “If you work on your job, you’ll make a living. If you work on yourself, you’ll make a fortune.”

The best leaders are committed to life-long learning. They understand that the greatest gift they bring to relationships is a stronger, wiser, more self-aware person. As people grow and improve their capabilities, they amplify their impact.

Where do you go to learn? We’re conditioned to learn by going somewhere: to school, to university or technical college, to the internet, to articles, to books.

While these are all great sources of information and learning, what if we could also make life itself a classroom, and our experiences the curriculum? This mindset could revolutionize how we perceive the challenges we face. Every “problem” we encounter would be seen as an opportunity for personal growth. Every setback a chance to learn. Everything that happens to us could be viewed as happening for us.

What if all those things we find ourselves complaining about are presenting themselves as lessons? What if all those people we gossip about are there to teach us something?

Have you ever noticed that if you don’t get the lesson, you keep repeating the class with the same experiences? It’s like Bill Murray in the classic movie Groundhog Day. The events kept repeating themselves until he understood the lesson he was meant to get.

Here are three strategies for turning your workplace into a classroom for self-development:

  1. Assess Your Situation. Take a close look at your work environment to discover the potential for growth it holds. Take an inventory of your frustrations, stuff you complain about, and the things you dislike about your job. List the people that irritate you and those you gossip about. What stresses you? What overwhelms you? What activates your fear response in your work environment? (You can take a similar inventory in your personal life.)
  2. Renew Your Perspective. Start embracing challenges by seeing problems as stepping stones rather than roadblocks along your path to success. Ask, “What lessons am I meant to get from this problem?” “What is this difficult, insensitive boss here to teach me?” “How can I respond differently to those putting all these demands on me?” “What lesson is to be learned from not being appreciated?” Maybe you are meant to learn to be more clear or brave or kind. Maybe what’s required is more commitment or self-care or compassion. Instead of hiding by complaining or gossiping, start facing reality rather than running from it.
  3. Take Action. Decide how you will apply the lesson you have learned. Knowing that growth lies outside your comfort zone, what risks will you take? What actions are required? Who will support you? How will you hold yourself accountable? Apply the lesson and contribute to a healthier, more vibrant workplace culture. If you think it’s time to exit, be sure you’re not escaping from a difficult learning opportunity. Be sure you get the lesson before you leave. Otherwise, you’ll meet the same experience in your next job (or relationship). Regardless, if you’re committed, you’ll find a way. If you aren’t, you’ll find an excuse.