Tag Archive for: Community

S-l-o-w D-o-w-n to Find the Rhythm of Life

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Work today can be hectic and intense, with tight deadlines, meetings, and notifications coming at you from every angle. With all that noise it’s hard to focus and get things done—especially when you’re also dealing with stress about your workload.

Over the past few years, researchers have offered different explanations for the rise of anxiety and stress, but three things we know for sure: change is happening quickly, access to information continues to increase, and the development of our brains has not caught up to the bombardment of information coming at us. I’m from a generation where when a newsworthy event occurred, we had until the evening news or the next morning’s paper to hear about it. That is just one example of having a little space in my day.

It’s all instantaneous now. And, while news feeds blast our brains 24/7, we have constant information coming at us. Until about ten to fifteen years ago, it was unavoidable that numerous times throughout your day it was just you alone with your thoughts…while in line at the checkout, waiting for the elevator, walking the dog, commuting to work, at the gym. Now we inundate our minds with unending data, spending up to a half of our waking lives looking down at our cell phones.

Having lost the natural rhythm and cadence of life and connection to ourselves to the tyranny of information bombarding us, it’s no wonder we’re overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed in a way we never have been before.

If you feel compelled to reconnect with your own rhythm of life, to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n and recharge your internal batteries, to refresh your perspective on leadership and life, and to be a part of an authentic community who are committed to support each other to stay on track and contribute to what is good, inspiring, and what matters to us, join us in our upcoming Authentic Leadership Academy. https://lnkd.in/gMi2euzp

In this three-day life-changing experience, you will leave with the clarity of knowing what matters and the permission to stop trying to do it all, to reset your internal compass and rediscover how you can make your highest contribution toward the things that truly matter.

The Missing Link Of Authenticity

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Carl Rogers, a founder of humanistic psychology, focused much of his work on the problem of authority. Rigid power hierarchies had led to oppression in many spheres of life and he pioneered a movement that liberated individuals from these authority structures. People are naturally good, he believed, and can be trusted to do their own self-actualization.

David Brooks, in his insightful article, “How America Got Mean,” (The Atlantic, September 2023), stated that “a cluster of phenomenally successful books appeared in the decade after World War II, making the case that, as Rabbi Joshua Loth Liebman wrote in Peace of Mind (1946), ‘thou shalt not be afraid of thy hidden impulses. People can trust the goodness inside.’ His book topped the New York Times best-seller list for 58 weeks. Dr. Spock’s first child-rearing manual was published the same year. That was followed by books like The Power of Positive Thinking (1952).

According to this ethos, morality is not something that we develop in communities. It’s nurtured by connecting with our authentic self and finding our true inner voice. If people are naturally good, we don’t need moral formation; we just need to let people get in touch with themselves.”

While these pioneers led the way to the opening of authenticity, there’s a missing link – a perspective that many still do not understand. I remember sitting on an airplane talking to an executive about authenticity when not long after our conversation he started flirting with the flight attendant. When she went to get his drink he turned to me and said that he likes to challenge himself to see if he can get the flight attendant into his hotel room. “It’s my authentic self,” he said with a wink.

While the early pioneers in the personal development field broke down many patriarchal, rigid, and dehumanizing authority structures and gave birth to new freedom, we know now, with our current consciousness, that they could only take us so far. We do, in fact, need to be concerned about some of those hidden impulses. Just because you have a desire doesn’t necessarily mean it’s authentic. To get to your true authentic self beneath your impulses and cravings, you need a community. And your inner child needs some good old-fashioned discipline.

To learn more about the journey to authenticity, I hope you’ll join me in one of my upcoming complimentary Authentic Leadership Academy Mini-Series: https://lnkd.in/g4M9qpWh

Salt Spring Island

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Last week Val and I had a nice get-away on Salt Spring Island where we enjoyed some hiking, relaxing, and connecting. Thank you Kyle Shury for your generosity.

Being a leader in your workplace, community, or home can get heavy. It’s easy to lose perspective and get overwhelmed and exhausted amidst the tyranny of urgent demands. Our job is to stay fresh so we can bring renewed insights and viewpoints to those we serve, to be inspired so we can inspire others, and to stay healthy so we can be there for those who depend on us.

It’s important to periodically unplug and take time for yourself and the things that matter to you, so you can be there for others.

If leadership and authenticity matter to you, our Authentic Leadership Academy is the perfect place for connection, reflection, renewal, and growth. You become a part of a like-minded community to support you on your journey. You’ll be inspired with a renewed view of leadership and life while connecting with your heart and an inner compass to guide you. You’ll leave with practical insights and tools to amplify your impact in every area of your life.

If this speaks to you, consider joining us in a life-changing experience that goes way beyond a typical leadership training experience and gets to the heart of what it truly means to be human in your commitment to make a difference in the world.

https://lnkd.in/gMi2euzp

 

The Understated Value of Community And Lasting Friendships

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In the small community in Central Alberta where I was raised, I was part of a band of five “brothers” – close friends whose early lives were intimately woven together by our families, our faith, and our deep and sustaining friendships. We spent our formative years roaming the ravine behind the church, playing games at each other’s houses, sharing meals with each other’s families, causing trouble in the pews during Sunday services, camping together, and becoming Queen scouts together.

Last week one of the last remaining parents of our band died at the age of 91. Four of us attended the funeral (one drove more than twelve hours to get there). It was a reunion of sorts as we had an afternoon after the service to share memories, renew the bonds of friendship, and reminisce about the value of growing up with a profound sense of belonging and stability. The friendship formed within this “band” developed a foundation of character and contributed to an individual and collective identity that will bind us together for a lifetime.

Thank you Ron, Al, Howard, and Doug, and to each of your families for the difference the made in my life.

Boxes, Presents, and Presence…

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Boxes, Presents, and Presence…

This past weekend my sister was visiting. During our time together, we went through the “boxes.” You know the “boxes.” Ones you dig out of the basement that have old “stuff“ like your parents’ grade school report cards or your junior high basketball trophies or the letters your mother wrote to you while you were at summer camp.

Amidst the boxes, one box in particular intrigued me. It was a box of cards congratulating my parents when I was born. In those days mothers stayed in the hospital long enough that the address on the envelopes was the maternity ward at the hospital.

Yes, these were real cards. Hand-written. With a return address and a stamp. Placed in the mailbox and addressed to my parents. Thirty-six of them in total. The moment I opened that box I realized I wasn’t just born into a family; I was born into a community.

Although there isn’t anything particularly unusual about a box of thirty-six hand-written cards, imagine the undertaking of each card: going to the store, carefully choosing a card, crafting a thoughtful message, buying a stamp. Then going to the post box to send them off – at least an hour for each card.

Recently, my niece had a baby and we sent a quick post on Facebook, and a text with a few emojis congratulating her. All told, it took about sixty seconds.

I’m not suggesting we discard our devices and go back to the “good old days.” They weren’t actually the “good old days,” they were simply the old days with different challenges.

What I am suggesting is that there was some goodness that came out of those old days. There was some time, attention, and presence put into the process of securing, scripting and sending those cards.

Today, we claim to be clever people, efficient and high-powered with well-organized day-timers and to-do lists. But in our zeal to get things done, have we forgotten the simple art of connecting?

Let us make a firm resolve to take time to be present to the lives we live, to stop once in a while and be thoughtful and sensitive to the people we care about. Let us be good to ourselves and to the people around us.

HOW TO BUILD COMMUNITY IN A TIME OF ISOLATION

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A research project from the 1980s, documented in the New England Journal of Medicine, showed that male heart attack survivors who were socially isolated had more than four times the risk of death than men with strong social connections. And a study of more than four thousand men of Japanese ancestry living in Hawaii found that social networks guarded against coronary artery disease (independent of known health hazards such as high blood pressure and cigarette smoking).
Over the past four decades, there has been a sizable body of evidence documenting that being socially isolated significantly increases a person’s risk of premature death from all causes, a risk equal to that of smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity.
Simply put, people are nourished by other people. Research suggests that belonging to a tightly knit community is a significant predictor of health and mental well-being. Living beings yearn for the proximity of other living beings. Humans are happiest and healthiest when around other people, working together and helping each other. For much of history, humans have banded together as a matter of survival.
Even with pandemic fatigue, where we are weary of social distancing and isolating for the sake of our community’s health, our need for community has not changed – we desire to be heard, to be connected, to belong. Social distancing is not the same as social disconnecting. Isolating is not the same as detaching. Working together for the good of the whole is not the same as living in fear and withdrawing from each other. In our current conditions, we are called to develop a renewed connection to ourselves, to learn to enjoy solitude, to appreciate smaller spaces, and to be creative and intentional about sustaining our relationships with each other – thus finding innovative ways of sustaining community.
Living with a propensity for depression and having walked through some very dark periods in the course of my lifetime, I can suggest five strategies for fostering community during this pandemic that have worked for me:
1) Develop self-awareness. When a Stanford Graduate School of Business Advisory Council was asked to recommend the most important capability for leaders to develop, their answer was almost unanimous: self-awareness. But how do you develop self-awareness? Self-awareness starts with checking in on yourself in the present moment. Are you afraid? Stressed? Inspired? Exhausted? Angry? Renewed? All of the above? Self-awareness comes from introspection and feedback from others. It takes time and intention but is a journey worth taking. You can only connect with others to the degree you connect with yourself.
2) Find a confidant. A confidant is a person with whom you can be real and honest. Confidants provide a space for those who are busy holding a space for everybody else. At this point in the pandemic, as fatigue is settling in for so many of us, we all need at least one confidant who can put us back together at the end of the day. Confidants are friends, spouses, coaches, lovers, or trusted colleagues that provide support, perspective, and accountability in the midst of our frustrations and challenges.
3) Practice kindness wherever you go. We are all doing the best we can to get through these challenging times. Let’s make it a point to grant each other a little grace. Even while wearing a mask we can smile with our eyes, offer encouragement with a hand gesture, and practice patience with our tone of voice. We’ve never been more alone, but we have also never been more together, sharing this experience with eight billion people on this planet. Community is developed one kind act at a time.
4) Find a reason to get out of bed in the morning. In a world preoccupied with problems, community is about discovering our gifts and finding ways to bring them into focus. Community is ultimately about being needed, belonging to something beyond yourself, being inspired with a reason to face the day. It is the task of leaders, indeed the task of every citizen, to shine a light on the gifts of those in the periphery and bring them into the centre. Especially in the midst of a pandemic, we need to find a reason to put our feet on the floor each morning.
5) Get comfortable being alone. Loneliness and being alone are distinct. A desire for solitude is a defining characteristic of an authentic person. A quest for community can be one more form of manic activity if it is not rooted in a continual practice of silence and time for reflection. If you work on creating a balance between reaching out to others and enjoying what the Finns call hiljaisuus, or solitude in one’s being, you’ll strengthen your sense of self-worth and find more meaning in your life.
Our intention, in our upcoming Authentic Leadership Masterclass is to do our part to help build communities with like-minded authentic difference makers. While we show how authentic leadership presence can be applied to the leadership practices of fostering trust, building accountability, navigating change, and engaging talent, a major part of the program is to connect leaders with each other to sustain their growth, connections, and sense of community. We work with accountability partners between sessions to support each other’s growth, help each other stay on track, and sustain the insights you glean from the class experience.
We still have a few seats available for our January and February programs for those of you committed to renewed leadership development this year in a community of incredible like-minded difference makers. I hope you will join us.
To mark the passage into the promise and hope for a safe and prosperous new year, I want to borrow from history and visualize an ancient and meaningful ritual. For 2,500 years, the Japanese have been making and drinking sake, a type of rice wine brewed from fermented rice. Throughout all that time, sake has been used to mark special occasions with the people that matter most. In most celebrations involving sake, a glass is placed inside a masu cup and the host pours sake until it overflows like a waterfall. The overflowing is an act of kindness and generosity to show appreciation for the people around them. It also works as a little act of celebration, to lift the spirits and to enjoy the present state of life. Watching the sake overflow and not knowing whether it will tip over presents a beautiful moment of suspense, when time seems to slow down. By introducing a moment of suspense, the ceremony keeps your mind in the present moment, focused only on the beautiful waterfall of sake.
As a message of appreciation to all my readers over the years, I’m taking the liberty to borrow from this little Japanese ritual and overflow some sake with you. My hope is that the image of this overflow will remind us all to bring presence and generosity into this new year. May we all experience the overflow of kindness through our actions as we build community together and navigate into 2021.