Tag Archive for: Articles by David Irvine

Caring Is Everything: Getting To The Heart Of Humanity, Leadership, And Life

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After three years of pouring my heart and soul into another publication project, I am thrilled to announce that my most recent book, Caring Is Everything: Getting To The Heart Of Humanity, Leadership, And Life has been released. This project was inspired by and dedicated to my brother Hal, who, three years ago, was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.

Facing death squarely and honestly magnifies what matters most in life. Paradoxically, the realization that the life we have today won’t last forever enables us to appreciate and grasp it more deeply. During the Middle Ages, Christian monks greeted one another with the salutation memento mori. It means “remember you must die.” Thus, with every encounter, the monks reminded themselves and each other about the impermanence of life and the precious value of each moment.

My purpose for writing books has always been to learn. The seeds of this book were planted early in Hal’s journey, when I decided to take on what I have since called my “caring project,” a vision to learn all I can about the nature of caring, the variety of dimensions that it takes in one’s life, and the impact it makes in all aspects of our lives. When I wrote this book my intent was not to change the world with a message about caring, but simply to write, in the words of Wordsworth, from the “breathings of my heart.” I really just wanted to leave a legacy for my daughters and grandchildren about what I learned – and have come to believe – about the power and impact of caring in all aspects of my life. If my children and grandchildren found value in it, that was good enough for me. What happened however, is that within those “breathings of my heart” was born a vision to start a national conversation about the power of caring.
This book is an investigation into a simple but profound idea: caring is everything. The stories within shine a light on the many dimensions of caring that so often go unnoticed and unacknowledged, but are vital to organizations, relationships, and life itself. This book is for leaders at all levels of organizations and in all walks of life, health care workers, educators, coaches and mentors, family and community members, and, really, pretty much anyone who wants to offer or receive caring.
At a crucial time in human history, when countless individuals are met with violence, terrorism, and a disregard for human life, when politicians use fear to appeal to the darkest side of humanity, when so many of us are afraid, cynical, or over-committed, the need to meet these trends with caring has never been greater. Caring, the most noble of human journeys, has a pervasive, enduring influence on the wellbeing of ourselves and those around us. It permeates who we are as people, and the places where we work and live. Caring is everything.
I have put my heart and soul into this book like none other I have written. And I am proud to bring it to the world. The official launch of Caring Is Everything takes place in three locations and I invite you to join me in the celebration at any of these events:
Calgary:  November 8th, 6 – 8 PM
                 Memorial Park Library 1221 2 St SW, Calgary
Cochrane:  November 12th 2 – 4 PM
                    Legacy Guitar & Coffee Shop 214 1 St W, Cochrane
Edmonton: November 15th 6 – 8 PM
                     Audrey’s Books 10702 Jasper Ave, Edmonton
If you are not able to attend a book launch, you may order the book through my website.

SHINING A LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS: 5 Ways Caring Can Make A Difference

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It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.     – The Christophers

Yesterday I received a note from a good friend and client of many years. It started a discussion on how, over recent months, we have both been gravely troubled by the violence in the world, the disregard for human life and politicians using fear to appeal to the darkest side of humanity. I don’t know what’s worse: the terrorism, shootings, and how people treat each other, or the fact that we are getting used to it.

While advancing age is undoubtedly a factor in increasing one’s concern about the world, I think it is more than that. There is a call to action needed. We need to be vigilant to create positive messages, thoughts and behaviors wherever and however we can.

Here are five ways you can implement some caring in your workplace and the world around you:

  1. Show you care before you show you’re competent. There is a growing body of research that illustrates when we judge our leaders we are looking for two primary characteristics: 1) How competentthey are, and 2) How much they care. It’s human nature to try to emphasize our strengths, abilities, and credentials to demonstrate our competence. We feel compelled to show others that we are “up to the job,” by striving to present the most innovative ideas in meetings and being the first to tackle a challenge. But this approach ends up backfiring. Trustworthiness is the first thing people look for in others and in leaders. Those who project strength before establishing trust run the risk of eliciting fear, distance and disengagement. And the first step in gaining trust is showing you care. In times of uncertainty, people look to a leader who they believe has their back. Those are the people we trust. Those are the people we listen to. Before people decide what they think of the message, they decide what they think of the messenger.
  2. Don’t wait for the boss to give you recognition and appreciation. Instead, get busy givingrecognition and appreciation to everyone on your team. I am a believer in peer recognition programs. Instead of waiting for the manager to acknowledge good work, each employee is encouraged to recognize positive attributes, stories of overcoming life’s challenges, and contributions at work that make a positive difference. I know of companies where staff are encouraged to give out actual certificates that recognize specific achievements of their peers either privately or at employee recognition functions. Done respectfully and meaningfully, these methods of appreciating and acknowledging each other can go a long way.
  3. Say thank you. Gratitude has transformative power. Gratitude is the antidote to hatred, fear, and entitlement. Next time you see a police officer, take a moment and thank them for their work. Next time you see a tired cashier at the grocery store, take a moment and express your gratitude. Thank a colleague for their contribution on a recent project. It’s easy to be grateful when you get what you want. The real challenge is being grateful when you don’t get what you want. It’s not a good life that makes us grateful; it’s being grateful that makes a good life.
  4. Apologize. To be human is to err. When you make a mistake and everyone knows it was a mistake, admit it, say you’re sorry, and tell the people who are impacted how you are going to remedy the situation. Having the humility to acknowledge when we are wrong and apologize for our errors is an indicator of strength, character, and integrity. Real leadership is impossible without a willingness to apologize and acknowledge when we make a mistake. It’s an act of caring to have the courage to take an honest look at ourselves, to take a truthful appraisal of the impact of our actions on others, and to have the willingness to make necessary changes.
  5. Create a circle of trust with your team. Whether your team is an executive team in a company, a project team in your division, a board of directors in a volunteer organization, or a family, a circle of trust is a helpful tool.  It revolves around kindness and understanding of the other person’s challenges and situation. A circle of trust is a process for taking the time to understand all the relevant and salient issues leading up to any particular decision or action in the team. The circle of trust approach ensures that each person on the team gives their peers the full benefit of the doubt until they fully understand why a decision was made. Complaining or expressing off handed comments concerning any team member has a negative effect on the reputation and wellbeing of all team members. Openness, honesty, and sincere caring for each other restores a sense of dignity and compassion until each person on the team can understand the challenges of the other.

How people interact, care and recognize one another impacts our lives and our world in unimaginable ways. A little human touch makes a big difference. Each of us may only be able to impact a small piece of the world through positive behaviors and influence. But eventually, with enough of us making some effort, we well might make a difference. This world could use a helping hand from all of us.

Let’s all do our part to make the world around us just a little better. What are you doing to bring some light to this darkened world?

Three Attributes of Authenticity – It Goes Beyond “Being Yourself”

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“We are in the age of authenticity,” writes Adam Grant, in a recent New York Times article, “where ‘be yourself’ is the defining advice in life, love and career… We want to live authentic lives, marry authentic partners, work for an authentic boss, vote for an authentic president. In university commencement speeches, ‘Be true to yourself’ is one of the most common themes…”
But I think we have to understand just exactly what we mean by authenticity and “being yourself”.
If you’ve been around as long as I have, you’ll remember the children’s story of Br’er Rabbit and the Tar Baby. Br’er Rabbit, in the famous Joel Chandler Harris story of the old south, walks along the road of life, whistling and happy, until he encounters a tar baby on the side of the road who he believes is insulting him. Br’er Rabbit strikes out at the tar baby because he thinks he would not be true to himself if he were to let someone say nasty things about him. But by kicking and hitting the tar baby he ends up getting completely embroiled in the tar. He actually loses his sense of self by reacting to someone else’s evaluation of him.
Just because you are upset with someone doesn’t mean you have to confront them in order to prove your authenticity. Being authentic is not about showing your “true self” indiscriminately to the world. It’s also not about erasing the gap between who you are on the inside and what you reveal to the outside world. In fact, if you aren’t careful, this approach can easily get you enmeshed in tar. We all have thoughts and feelings and tendencies and impulses in our lives that are better left unspoken, or at best spoken only with trusted friends or confidants.
An example of this is cited by Adam Grant in his NYT article. When Cynthia Danaher was promoted to general manager of a group at Hewlett-Packard, she announced to her 5,300 employees that the job was “scary” and that “I need your help.” She was supposedly authentic. She was “being herself,” and her team lost confidence in her.
I have learned from my colleague and co-author, Jim Reger, that authentic people exhibit three fundamental qualities:
1)  Their identity and security come from within, not from someone else’s view of them. Br’er Rabbit loses his way by reacting to someone else’s opinion of him. The more we react to other people’s evaluation of us, the more we demonstrate a lack of self-assurance.
People who are dependent on others for a sense of worth spend their time and energy seeking approval, rather than pursuing their own goals. Subsequently, they fall short of their potential. They are obsessed with getting recognition from others instead of relaxing and bringing to the world who they are meant to be.
Being authentic means you are able to clarify your own values and decide what is most important to you. You are able to live your life in a way that is truly expressive of your beliefs, values, and desires. This does not mean you express yourself without regard for the opinions or feelings of others. It means, instead, that you are self-aware enough to be both honest and respectful.
2.   Authentic people are comfortable with themselves. When your worth and security come from within, you have no interest in bullying, abusing, or disrespecting others because you are at peace with who you are. When you are at peace with yourself you are open to learn, to respond appropriately rather than impulsively, and are open to the possibility of change. Authentic people are willing to re-evaluate their point of view when presented with new information.
Authenticity means a willingness to think through your position when you encounter different points of view. Authentic people are humble enough to bring curiosity rather than rigidity to their relationships. They can set their own limits while also considering the views of others. Rather than needing to defend themselves or criticizing, they respect differing opinions and are open to learning.
3.   Authentic people care. They care about their work. They care about the people around them. And they care about themselves enough to not let themselves be disrespected. Authentic people seek the betterment of all constituents. They choose service over self-interest.
The ability to clarify and pursue what you genuinely want for yourself while also maintaining close relationships with others – and respecting them to also be themselves – is one of the major attributes of an authentic person. Most of us are able to do only one of these at a time. We either conform to the culture in order to be accepted, or cut ourselves off from others in order to be ourselves. It’s a sign of authenticity if you able to walk the line between seeking both independence and connection.
Authenticity is a tall order. However, if you are sincere (you don’t have a hidden agenda for personal gain) and you are honestly striving to work for what serves the greater good people are much more apt to trust you. Trustworthiness results from authenticity.
If you are interested in assessing your own authenticity or getting some input from others on how authentic you are perceived to be, you will find a quick no-fee authenticity assessment on the home page of my website: www.irvinestone.com
If you are interested in learning more about how to be authentic and deepening your authentic presence, send me an email or contact me at: www.irvinestone.ca/contact and we’ll schedule a ½ hour complementary call to explore your options.

The Lean Management Approach – Five Keys To Building An Accountable Culture

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Last Thursday I had the good fortune of attending a one-day Lean 101 course, hosted by POS Bio-Sciences in Saskatoon. The Lean approach has been integral to their success, and I wanted to learn first hand how the tool of Lean is used to help build the “POS Way.” POS has inspired me over the years by their leadership, innovation, and customer driven entrepreneurialism.

I also had another reason for attending. Being passionate about accountability, I wanted to learn how the Lean management approach can help strengthen the accountability process I help organizations implement.

What I learned about Lean

Lean is a philosophy, an approach to business, and a set of tools designed to eliminate waste while adding value for the customer. At its core, business is a set of processes for delivering results. And Lean is a mind-set for continuously improving these processes. Lean turns employees into leaders by encouraging and empowering ownership and better contribution at every level.

But Lean isn’t just a business philosophy. It’s a philosophy for life. Who, after all, doesn’t have waste in the way we do our work and live our lives? Life is a series of processes, whether it’s doing the laundry, finding your keys, managing stress, or improving a relationship. Whenever you are systematic about improving these processes, you are practicing Lean.

As a novice to Lean, I am making it comprehendible by breaking it down and outlining a five-step approach. Below is a process you can use for applying the Lean philosophy to any aspect of life.

Take a look at anything in your life that is frustrating to you. It might be as simple as finding your keys in the morning or as complex as an under-achieving sales team.

Do a Value Stream Map of your process:

  1. Define your goal. Your goal can be as simple as having your keys in your pocket as you walk out the door – with zero frustration, or, in the case of your sales team, having achieved a specific sales quota.
  2. Clearly identify all steps in the process to achieving your goal. For finding your keys look specifically at what you do with your keys when you come home right through until you need them the next morning when you leave for work. On your sales team, break down the sales process from the time a salesperson enters the door to the end of the month when celebrating your team’s success. It is best if you do this with everyone who is involved in the process. With your keys, you might do it with your spouse, who experiences the impact of a stressed marriage partner in the morning. With your sales process, get the whole sales team to help you identify all the steps it takes to make it a successful sales division.
  3. Identify each step as value-added or non-value added. Value-added means it moves you closer to your goal and decreases frustration of everyone. It’s also what the customer is willing to pay for. Non-value added is waste: anything that doesn’t add value to the customer.
  4. Identify and remove waste. It’s a waste to hang your pants up in the closet with your keys still in the pocket because you’ll have to run into your bedroom the next morning when you can’t find your keys. It may be a waste for your sales team to be coming in to the office and returning emails unrelated to sales when they need to be spending time following up on leads.
  5. Focus on process execution. Once you have identified and removed waste:
    1. Decide who will own the process (one person needs to be accountable for the accomplishment of the process).
    2. Identify the most effective step-by-step process to accomplish your goal.
    3. Ensure everyone understands the process and their part in making the process a success.
    4. Get agreement on people’s contribution to the process.
    5. Monitor for success. Lean has a term called, “Hansei,” which means, essentially, “Looking back with critical eyes.” Self and group reflection is critical to process improvement. You will likely decide to hold regular meetings to see how the process is working. Above all, make it safe for anyone to identify waste and make suggestions for improvement at anytime. Always question. Don’t just accept what’s there. The only failure is failure to learn ways to improve.
    6. Don’t hold people accountable for results. Hold people accountable for following the process. If the results aren’t there, don’t blame the people. Instead, change the process and ensure that everyone understands it.

I am aware that this short summary from my rookie mind-set of Lean is incomplete and overly simplistic. I look forward to learning more and continually improving the processes that run my own organization and the processes that help me manage my life with the greatest ease. I also look forward to continuously learn about how to use the Lean philosophy in helping foster accountability in organizations – without blame.

Creating A Better World 5 Decisions That Will Change Your Life

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I rarely fill in surveys for hotels or airlines when I travel. But yesterday, I took five minutes to respond to an online survey from Air Canada. They wanted to know how my Regina to Calgary flight was last week.
I had a great experience on this flight, and I told them so. But taking the survey made me think about a much bigger issue. What actually makes a great experience possible – whether on an airline, in a hotel, restaurant, workplace, or even a marriage? I have had some bad experiences with all of the above in the past. What is the common denominator? When I am honest with myself, I can see that every time I’ve had a lousy experience it’s because I’ve been in a lousy mood.
Quantum physics has discovered something that many mystics have long since known: that our perception of the universe actually invokes the very universe that we observe. If you change the way you view the environment around you, the environment around you changes. The world isn’t as it is. The world is the way we see it.
Don’t get me wrong. Bosses make a difference to the experience of an employee. Customer service people make a difference. Waitresses make a difference. And it is important to get feedback on how we are doing. We are all co-creating the world that we live in. We institutionally deny the fact that each of us – through our perceptions and our choices – is actually creating the culture – in our airlines, hotels, restaurants, workplaces, and marriages – that we so enjoy complaining about.
Deciding that I am creating the world around me – and therefore I am the one to step into healing it – is the ultimate act of accountability. A simple decision can change your life. Here are five decisions that will make your workplace a better place to work and your world a better place to live:
1) Decide to take 100% responsibility for your experience. When you decide, once and for all, that all blame is a waste of time, your life will change forever. I learned years ago that I attract, even in some small way, what is happening in my life. Operating from this assumption empowers you. If you are unhappy, look at how you are contributing to the problem. If you can’t figure out your part, take time to ask people around you. They will help you out.
2) Decide to give to others whatever you expect from others. My parents taught me to “be careful what you give, for it will be what you get.” If you want good service, serve the customer service agent – with kindness, patience, and grace. Treat others with the same care as you expect from others.
3) Decide to be a contributor rather than a consumer. Consumer means to “destroy, squander, use up,” whereas to contribute means to “build, serve, make better.” It’s interesting that we now call this a “consumer” society. Decide to be a giver rather than a taker. Look for ways that you can make life a little better for every person you meet today. A smile, a word of encouragement, a little patience. These simple acts of caring go a long way.
4) Decide to care. Caring makes workplaces worth working in, schools worth learning in, relationships worth being in, and lives worth living. Caring is everything, and caring starts with a decision. Caring isn’t a feeling. Caring is a choice. Make a decision to care – about your job, about your co-workers, about your employees, and watch how your world starts to change. The power of caring was evident this past month by those who so generously have been reaching out in response to the Fort McMurray evacuees. (See my blog on the Fort McMurray fire.) Caring makes all the difference.
5) Decide to be grateful. You can always find reasons to be grateful. Gratitude is the antidote to entitlement (the attitude that you have a right to something just because you want it). Gratitude makes you healthier and the world around you healthier. The real power of gratitude comes when you are having difficulty finding anything to be grateful for. Gandhi reminded us, “Divine guidance often comes when the horizon is the blackest.”

Balancing Accountability With Caring

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Any parent who has ever said no to a child understands that leadership is not about being popular. You have to be secure within yourself to do the right thing – for the benefit of the greater whole. A recent consulting project reminded me of this. A CEO was brought in to a failing company eighteen months previously to bring it out of the red and make it profitable. The former CEO was known throughout the organization as “Mr. Popular.” Everyone loved him. He was their “buddy.” Expense cheques were freely approved. There was no such thing as budgets. And, like the inattentive captain of the Costa Concordia, he was driving the company into the rocks of bankruptcy. While all the partying and love fest was going on, most of his employees had no idea where he was taking them. Thankfully the board caught it and dismissed him before disaster struck.

The new CEO, a brilliant, accountable, focused leader had to be “less than warm” in her approach to turning the company around. Many of her employees did not understand where she was coming from, and perceived her as cold, distant, and uncaring compared her to her predecessor. Like a courageous parent committed to accountability, I heard her say to her employees, in no uncertain terms, “Trust me. This is for the good of this company and the employees – in the long run.”

Now that the company has turned the corner through her leadership, it is obvious that many of these employees would not even be employed today under the former “popular” regime. Yet for sometime, the new CEO has been perceived by some of her direct reports and managers as “unapproachable,” “disconnected,” and “removed from her people.” They had no idea that, by saving the organization and the employees’ jobs along with it, she was actually very caring.

How do you become respected and liked and still hold others accountable? This is a question that every leader must grapple with. It is also a question that has application for every employee. Here are seven points to consider as you wrestle with this question:

  1. Being a leader is not for people who need to be liked or need to be popular. At times, you have to be willing to stand alone with the courage of your convictions.
  2. Even though you don’t need to be liked as a leader, if you aren’t liked by at least most of your people – you’ll have difficulty making impact in the long term.
  3. As an employee, some things are not as they appear. Few bosses come to work with a motive to mess up the place. While there certainly may be poor leadership at times, unless you are a psychopath, all behavior comes from a positive intent. Before judging, take time to discover the underlying motive of your boss’s behavior and be patient.
  4. Because leadership is a presence, not a position, everyone in an organization is a potential leader. You can be a leader today by deciding to be what you expect from others. If you want more compassion from others, start by being more compassionate to
  5. Leadership is ultimately about caring, but you can’t always count on it appearing as such. When you are fostering accountability by holding the line on a principle, you may come across as anything but compassionate. Accountable people accept this.
  6. You must be driven by a motive of caring even when you are holding others accountable – caring about people, caring about your work, and caring about the organization as a whole. While caring and accountability won’t always be in balance, you need to know when it’s out of balance and how to get it back.
  7. You don’t become liked by pleasing people and giving them what they want. That’s merely a fix that passes with the tides of popularity. You get to be liked by letting go of your need to be liked, serving people by being committed to giving them what they need, earning respect from living in alignment to your principles, and then by being humble and authentic.

 

Now that this CEO has begun to turn the company around, she’s concentrating on turning her relationship with her employees around. In order to accomplish what she did, she needed to be tough, and while her resolve remains firm, she can turn her attention to connecting with others and showing her caring side. She’s working at being vulnerable by communicating her intentions and exposing a little more of her humanness, both of which are vital to connecting with others. She’s reminding herself to be more kind and approachable, and lightening up a bit. As a result, people are actually starting to like her, and in the process, she is earning the trust and respect of her key people.